"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you."

***

Sometimes.... when you get to know a person well enough, ticks, habits, likes, dislikes and such thanks to living with one another for more than 2 years.

Things happen, things gets involved

And eventually you get too attatched and you end up feeling things for that person eventually.

So when Minsoo found out that he liked one of his band mates, he went through complete denial, coming up with excuses for his sudden like for the same gender. Like maybe he was going through one of those confusing phases that hormoanl teenagers go through except that he was..20, but that didn't matter because he was confused as .

That was the first thing he thought anyway.

He then blamed it on the drowsiness that was finally getting to him from the lack of energy and not sleeping properly with all the hectic schedules the group had been having lately. Unfortunately, taking a few Z's didn’t cut it for the leader, no matter how many of them he sneaked in a day. Plus, his band mate had slight feminine features and seeing that he wasn’t cutting his hair soon due to the concept, it was probably, most likely just an infatuation.

Minsoo felt frustrated.  He knew he couldn’t accept the slight possibility of having feelings for his dongsaeng because he couldn’t. The other male was a prohibited fruit in his eyes.....but that didn't stop him from wanting to have a bite.

It was a few months later when Minsoo realized that he hadn’t been doing a good job of hiding his feelings from the public eye. Numerous times it seems to be.

The first being when Teen Top appeared on Star Cast, and he naively revealed the fact of having pictures of Niel on his phone saying that it was because he thought he was cute. He even added that he also had pictures of Ricky, but that didn't make the situation even better.

 Not only did he get surprised reactions from the members, he ended up scaring Niel, which he considered good at the time since that'd keep him away.

 Ever since then, Minsoo has stuck to having minimal lines when they go on shows.

He thought treating Niel a little rougher would be a good idea instead of displaying skinship, but the only thing it did was get them labeled as the “Tom & Jerry” couple.  

It was one of those days when the group had a little time to themselves and Minsoo seeing that he rarely watched television decided to do so and when he saw that Weekly Idol was airing he didn’t change the channel. Which he should have because before he knew it his hyungs Doni and Coni began talking about his 'obsession' with the main vocalist.

The rapper was practically choking on air when he saw that they were featured in the segment. At that exact time the dancing machine of the group walked into the living room. He spared his leader a glance before telling him, "Hyung, stop that, you're embarrassing. Leave those facial expressions for variety shows".

Yeah, I’m the embarrassing one.

No matter what Minsoo did, he couldn’t stop noticing little things about Niel making him fall even deeper. Like how mature his dongsaeng was despite his happy-go-lucky nature. Minsoo actually considered him the strongest emotionally because while everyone and including him were crying at the end of their concerts, he would find the other waving at the fans and thanking them with a big smile on his face.  Not once has he seen the other genuinely mad or frowning unless it was for show.

Negative feelings were not a part of Ahn Daniel.

Just like how Niel couldn’t be a part of Minsoo, no how matter how much he wish he could be.

~

Minsoo likes it when Niel smiles.  It doesn’t matter if he does such gesture when he’s embarrassed because no matter the situation, it’s always sincere and uplifting and sometimes when his eyes crinkle while doing so, it makes Minsoo smile too.

And Minsoo doesn’t smile often and when he does.

It’s because of Niel.

The simple expression affects him so much that without meaning to, he’s reciprocating the expression, maybe not as wide and contagious as the youngers, but still a smile is a smile.

So when Minsoo for the first time saw tears form in Niel’s vibrant brown eyes and his thick lips no longer stretched out in an amused grin revealing his white teeth, but instead concealed and trembling. He felt bad to the point of feeling like a piece of for being the cause of the vocalist’s distress.

Niel had his hands formed into fists and even though he was fuming with anger and wanted to do something, anything to hurt the person in front of him and release his frustration and show him just how hurt he was, he kept his ground. He gulped the painful knot that was in his throat,”Do you hate me?”

Minsoo hating Niel is preposterous.

To have such emotion towards the boy is outrageous.

Because he loves Niel. He loves Niel, but it’s not right.

And Niel could’t know, because Minsoo having romantic feelings for a bandmate, especially a man, is dangerous. Dangerous because letting his feelings come out would only lead to bad things for the band. It would be best to continue denying those possible feelings in front of Niel until they became nonexistent.

That way everything would be fine. No more complicated feelings and no more guilt.

Minsoo’s thoughts were interrupted by the others dejected voice,”Aren’t we friends?”

Minsoo for some odd reason couldn’t answer the vocalist’s simple question, a question that could solve their current situation so they could make up and go back to how they were 20 minutes ago. He could’ve just resolved everything by assuring the boy saying “Don't be silly, of course we’re friends”, but Minsoo didn’t want to. He didn’t want to lie and say they were just friends knowing that he desired so much more. He kept his gaze fixed on the ground.

However, when Niel saw that the eldest wasn’t responding. He ordered him to get out of their shared bedroom, Minsoo complied obediently without a fight.

Right when Minsoo shut the door, he went to go occupy the sofa, seeing that it would be a good idea to leave Niel alone like he wished.

The rapper didn’t know why they were arguing. He had been avoiding Niel for some time now. They haven't speaking either so why? Minsoo tried spending time with the other members thinking that he could magically make his feelings vanish. This task, however, has been extremely difficult for Minsoo;

L.Joe is into the same music as him, but seeing as though the blonde lived in the States for some time, he had brought some weird American quirks. Even though Chunji and he have a year difference and they get along well enough, Chunji does more of the talking and though his intentions are good, the visual is very ahjumma-like, nagging at him 24/7. So he rather leave weirdo #2 with weirdo #1...

Minsoo gets along fine with the maknaes, but half of the time he doesn’t understand just what the hell they're talking or laughing about,it's as if they're in their own little world. Either Minsoo is getting too old or the generations after him have gotten weirder. To get to the point, Ricky is like the little brother he’s never wanted and Changjo is too 4D.

Although he has differences with his band members, he thinks of them as his family and he wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.

But.

None of them have the possibility of taking Niel’s place as his favorite companion. Because Niel is the one who gets Minsoo. He was the one who hugged Minsoo one night after hearing about the older’s mother’s frail condition, because he was the only one who saw through the rapper’s façade, knowing he needed someone to lean on. He knows when Minsoo’s not okay even if the other says otherwise and shrugs him off with an ‘I’m tired’. Niel is a people person, but he knows when to give the eldest his space.

How?

Because Niel is the one who knows him the best.

Done with his reflecting, Minsoo hastily stood up and practically ran to his shared room with the vocalist. However, when he faced the wooden door, he realized he hadn’t thought through what he was going to say or how to approach the boy.

Minsoo has made many mistakes in his life. He’s not perfect so what would you expect? But he wouldn’t make the biggest mistake that would be lying to Niel about his feelings. Because, well, the other had the right to know. That was the conclusion he made.

He doesn’t know how he’ll do it, but after revealing his feelings, even if they are unrequited, he’ll feel better.

Yeah you’ll feel better when Niel calls you a disgusting human being and top it off by saying he hates you.

 Before he let his pessimistic thinking make him change his mind, he turned the door knob and went in.

To say that Minsoo was surprised would be an understatement, because when he saw Niel snoozing off on his messy bed, his inner Niel-obsessed self was spazzing. He took him a lot of will to not release a –manly- squeal.

Oh Niel, the things you do to me

Minsoo considered standing next to the bed. However, he wouldn’t let an angel intimidate him to sitting on the floor when he had every right to sit on his bed.

So he did.

Seeing that he was facing Niel’s back, he felt better, but he feel a lot better knowing that the other was asleep. He knew it was cowardly of him to confess while his crush was asleep, but it would just have to do.

Minsoo got this new found courage and began gently petting Niel’s brown hair.

“Um it’s,” his voice cracked embarrassingly, he coughed and started again,”it’s me Minsoo. I know you’re asleep and well angry at me, but I came here to apologize.”

Niel’s calm breathing was the only sound that he received.

“I don’t hate you Niel. I know these past days I’ve been acting as if you don’t exist and I know I have no right to treat you that way since you've been such a good friend to me, but I have my reasons.”

Minsoo stopped his movements and took a deep breath,”Even though it’s hard for me, I don't talk much and I'm working on how to show my feelings for everyone. But with you Niel...”, Minsoo’s voice came out exasperatedly and closed his eyes, trying to search for the right words to say. This was harder than he thought...

“It’s not right what I’m about to say and I hope I’ll be more confident when you’re awake and tell you, but I’ll just practice with you while your unconscious.” Minsoo chuckled dryly.

Niel had his right arm wrapped over his left shoulder. What the hell he thought, and placed his hand over Niel’s exposed one.

“I like you Niel”

Even though he had just revealed the words he feared most, he still felt unnerved. Especially with the silence that permeated the room.

 “it sounds pretty lame, but you know how a day without sunshine is like night? Well that’s how I feel about you”.

Minsoo held onto Niel’s hand giving it a little squeeze and opened his mouth hesitantly, “Niel you’re goofy and annoying so I tend to hit you a lot and I apologize, but it’s the only way I can express myself, through actions and appears that you’re like that too,” he rolled his eyes, remembering how the other day he got woken up with a slap to his shoulder, “but your also caring, funny and you make me happy being the person you are,”

“I don't like anyone the way I like you. In fact your climbing up to first place on things I love, well you're a close first after sleeping. The point is I honestly think that you're the only one good enough for me because you’re my sunshine”.

Wow Minsoo, watching late night dramas with Chunji have finally gotten to you

At this moment, Minsoo wanted to get up, run away –like a man- and just maybe go dig a hole and die in it. The only thing from stopping him from fulfilling it was that Niel had rolled his body over to look straight at Minsoo with slanted eyes, his thick lips forming into a scowl.

Minsoo would do anything, anything so he could avoid Niel’s intense stare.

The only thing the leader could do was gape and widened his eyes as much as his little orbs would allow him to.

Minsoo decided to make a run -more like he fell to the floor and began crawling towards the door- for it, but Niel was more agile and before the eldest could escape, he jumped onto his back. Minsoo pleaing to be let go while Niel yelled 'never' as he wrapped his limbs around the others neck.

Despite Niel’s lean appearance, he weighed a lot and was currently crushing the air out of Minsoo, causing him to make an ugly wheezing sound.

“Bang Minsoo”, Niel stated, his voice very serious.

Oh god, he used my full name. I’m screwed, I’m going to face Ahn Daniel’s wrath.

Minsoo felt something moist pressed against his neck.

Did he just kiss my neck??

“I would have properly kissed you, but since you’re neck is the only thing I can reach at the moment…” he confessed sheepishly

Well, I have ears too, but wouldn’t want to give him any ideas…and it’d be very uncomfortable to get “excited” righ-

Oh my god NIel kissed me.

“Yeah it’d be nice if you kissed me back”

I have to stop thinking out loud.

“W-why would you want me to kiss you?” Minsoo didn’t intend to sound nervous and stutter, but Niel just had that effect on him.

It felt as if an hour had passed and Minsoo considered escaping stealthily, until he heard quiet sniffles coming from above.

Worried, he changed his position and kneeled before a teary eyed Niel and instinctively placed his hand on the other’s shoulder, ”Niel please don’t cry, I-I’ll just leave, okay?”

“No don’t!” The vocalist instantly closed the distance between them and wrapped his long limbs around the rapper’s big frame,”don’t go because I-I like you too and just like how I’m your sunshine, I need you to be my sky,” Niel hugged Minsoo tighter,  “the sun can’t not have its sky, Minsoo, that’s illogical”.

Minsoo felt his chest expand in delight by the others words and hugged him just as tight, basking in the younger’s warmth,”Are you sure? You’re not confused are you?”

Niel separated himself from Minsoo’s embrace and instead hit his shoulder, glaring at him,”Of course I’m sure, stupid! I’ve liked you since forever and here I was thinking I was just a pillow to you! I was so sure that you felt the same until you chose to handle your problem like an idiot,” Niel’s exaggerated movements and wide eyes showed just how bothered he was,” ignoring me when you could have avoided this whole mess and just-“

I think it’s time to bring this babbler to a stop

Minsoo simply smiled slightly and grabbed the other’s neck, his hand grabbing a small tuft of soft hair leading the other to his lips.

Niel’s lips were just like how he had imagined them to be.

Soft and moist.

Especially very thick.

After a while of releasing his ual frustration of weeks through kissing, Minsoo detached himself from the vocalist,”I could have prevented this mess if I would’ve just kissed you right?”

Niel displayed a goofy, but pleased expression and nodded dumbly. "Since we've wasted precious time on avoiding 'us' and we finally have the opportunity," Suddenly, Niel began crawling towards his hyung, who was giving him a very puzzled look.

”How about you let your sunshine warm you up, hm?”

-

N.a.p has been going strong since the beginning *^*

 <--- Pillow reference

 Oh mah gaaaaad

 Niel in the ending ; D

By the way did you know there is an agency called N.a.p Entertainment 

O_____O ????? I almost lost it when I came across that information lol

I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite my many writing flaws /.\

Please tell me how I did and if you have any ideas for this pair or anything..

Hugs ^-^ ♥