Chapter 5
Scream
Please watch this before reading this chapter. (Until 0:53 seconds. Play Ester, mute Kai.) Thank you.
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JongIn.
JongIn... JongIn.
That simple name replayed in KyungSoo's head like a favorite song. Something about it was just, naturally appealing. After the unusual encounter with the boy, he was incapable of focusing. All he could think of was the melody he played. So familiar, he heard it many times; everyday and yet, the sound was new. More purposeful, more perfect, more like SuHo. That was it, he played that song, the same way SuHo did.
KyungSoo evoked the image of the time when the two of them would sit and SuHo would start playing, asking him to accompany and they performed together, in an unbroken conformity. KyungSoo ever halted in the midst, just to observe SuHo and comprehend the way his fingers directly identified where to move next. The way he peered at him, still supremely playing without a sole aberration. How their eyes locked for a moment and a smile formed on their lips.
JongIn... SuHo. SuHo.
“I decided to learn sign language.” KyungSoo's odd declaration disturbed Lay's thoughts as he was drawn back to the reality. He did not reply, judging it was just one of those things KyungSoo says without consideration. He did that loads lately, as if he was just absent. “Then I will be able to talk to him."
At that point Lay's attention was fully on KyungSoo, pondering who was 'he'. His smile weakened, though KyungSoo didn't catch it.
“Who's he?” KyungSoo, unaware that he spoke his thoughts aloud, became expressionless. Forthwith, remorse built up in him when he saw Lay's buoyant eyes.
“Oh, just a regular customer. He's mute.” Lay acknowledged it kindly, unwilling to pursue the topic anymore. KyungSoo threw an assuring smile and grabbed his hand, walking towards the restaurant. It was Saturday and the shop wouldn't open until 1pm. Lay didn't oppose, trailing after KyungSoo like a lost child.
They occupied the table near the window, table for two. KyungSoo contended on calling it their second date, on the other hand Lay urged that it's not special enough, so they agreed on a simple breakfast.
KyungSoo typically asked for spaghetti and when informed they didn't serve it, his face got preoccupied with a grimace. Lay, as the lover of junk food, ordered them double cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshakes. The food arrived a few minutes later, right after Lay eventually got KyungSoo to smile, having himself to go through a series of hilarious face expressions and humiliation. All due to the weakness for his boyfriend.
“I will eat well.” Lay announced and KyungSoo repeated after him. They took their time eating, taking modest bites in-between the ongoing conversation about KyungSoo and his desire to become a chef someday. Lay was really keen on that idea. Considering his best dish was plain rice, having a personal chef would be advantageous, particularly when the chef is exceptionally handsome and skilled.
“Can I be the first ever customer to taste you food?” Lay's face could've been compared to a puppy at that second and KyungSoo was more than amused to say yes.
Lay caught the corner of his watch and rushed KyungSoo out of the restaurant, explaining they have ten minutes until opening. Dispirited, KyungSoo draggled after the boy.
They reached the shop two minutes before one o'clock and KyungSoo reluctantly switched the sign to read 'Open'. When both settled in the first customer turned up, asking for the newest album of Girls Generation. A high school girl, with her raven hair tied up in a bun with a apricot-coloured bow on top. She was charming and smiled a lot, specially at Lay who got flustered with the eye contact that was held just a second too long.
“I've heard you play in the theatre. You're really talented.” She gave him thumbs up and nervously paid for the album, then left the shop and Lay in delight along with KyungSoo who's been watching the situation from afar.
“You're getting famous, already having a fan club?” KyungSoo teased, earning a glare from Lay who couldn't hide the excitement. Someone recognized him and it felt amazing. He grinned and hurried KyungSoo to the counter, collecting the papers and leaving himself to meet his father.
Lay come back at around half four. Today they were closing later, at seven, so Lay spent most of the day with his father, discussing business. Lay's father, as friendly and lovely as he was, wasn't capable of holding a longer conversation about anything other than business and money. Even with his son.
“Kyung, did you get bored without me?” Lay send him a kooky smile and hugged him solidly, feet off the floor, until he wiggled out of the grip. KyungSoo chuckled at the bizarre behaviour, but felt satisfied with it. They were surely more confident with each other.
“Yah, do you want to choke me?” Lay received a punch in the arm, to which both of them giggled. In such moments, they felt like children.
As always on weekends there was a limited number of customers, everyone was off to somewhere, keeping busy. In that situation they got themselves a hot chilli chocolate from the nearest Starbucks, which was basically at the corner and for the next hour played with each other, taking pictures and dancing around. KyungSoo utterly failing to follow Lay's agile and experienced moves, kept pushing him off the 'stage' which they settled to be the space in the middle of the room, where they was just enough space to do that. All until the older held onto the other boy while being nudged, which resulted in KyungSoo resting right next to him, arms on his chest.
Their faces were precariously close, but none displaced. Tentatively, Lay brought his face even closer, now only a millimeters distancing them. KyungSoo inhaled deeply, their lips brushed against another and electricity flew through Lay's body, face heating up and turning the color of wine. KyungSoo quivered and blushed as well. Daringly this time, Lay's lips pressed against his. He wanted nothing more, just for this moment to last. It was Lay who pulled away. Their eyes glanced in opposite directions, agitated and stunned.
“I-I” The explanations came rushing at the time, yet only the realization that they were officially a couple and no justifications were needed hushed them. They were allowed to, so they just smiled instead. Lay's heartbeat stabilized itself when he saw KyungSoo smile, not knowing what to expect before, that smile made it all alright.
Did his eyes spark? Yes, millisecond. Too short for anyone to notice.
KyungSoo requested Lay to call MinSeok, just to check up on him after the incident in the shop. MinSeok agreed to meet them in twenty minutes. In the spare time, KyungSoo informed Lay that he won't be at work on Monday, because his brother is taking him somewhere. For the question as to where he's going, KyungSoo simply shrugged his shoulders, he had no idea himself.
MinSeok appeared in the shop minutes later. KyungSoo sank to the floor. The striking complexion comparable with the color of paper, cheekbones more evident than always, oversized clothes, empty eyes. Is he back to highschool? He tried to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.
MinSeok felt the need to explain why wanted to came. No one was at home and he had a day off today. Felt lonely.
Lay's father came running into the shop, dragging his son out to help him with some businessmen. Short talk, plastered smile and ninety-degrees bows. Unwillingly, Lay excused himself and left in hurry.
They were left alone.
“Hyung, what happened? You look-”
“Like before?”
KyungSoo's throat suddenly became very dry and tightened. He didn't mean it that way, it unquestionably wasn't something MinSeok needed to hear. He repeated the question softly, blankly staring down at the shoes, not wanting to catch MinSeok's eyes.
“I don't know, I just, it felt good okay?” His eyes were shimmering, sentences mumbled and snappy. KyungSoo wasn't even hurt by the way he talked to him, it felt more like something was ripping his chest apart.
“How long..?"
“Since I saw them together at the café. Not long, don't worry.” MinSeok tried hard to be gracious, hoping to make KyungSoo less concerned, however the effect was contradictory. Unlike KyungSoo.
“Not long?! Don't worry?! You stupid idiot, how do you expect me not to care, when you're fading in my eyes? How dare you come here and tell me not to care, when I though I was going to die when I left highschool not knowing if you were ok? Tell me how!” It was obvious KyungSoo tried to hold back the burdening tears, yet the water sailed down his cheeks at a furious speed. Tears of misery and outrage, embarrassment and defeat. MinSeok was paralyzed, the feeling of someone caring was still, somehow new to him and he challenged it every occasion he had, but now there was no argument against and MinSeok was disoriented in the feeling of being wanted. The shimmering eyes let out the tears fall and he cuddled KyungSoo to the point where the younger one was troubling to breathe.
“Thank you, Kyung. Thank you.”
Weeping less as the time passed, until the sound died away and they both let go. Their eyes locked and smiles showed up on their exhausted faces.
“Kyung, I never knew. That, you cared. I thought it was all just pity, towards the bullied one at school, the weird one. What I'm trying to say it that I can't trust people anymore, it's as if it was impossible. I mean I tried, LuHan was this one person out there treating me normally.” MinSeok had to take a break, his heart was shattering into incurable pieces of disappointment.
“He even called me Baozi, you know because of my 'chubby' cheeks. And now, it's all just fat, so fat and I hate it. I want it gone, those cheeks and it all. He gave me some sort of hope, he actually acted like it was possible and then he just turned around and found a better, fitter, handsomer one. Like every single time.” The younger one just sat listening, trying to breathe as less and as discreetly as possible, not to interrupt his friend. He wasn't much of a talker, but sometimes he just liked to let it all out, so KyungSoo wanted to let him.
It anguished how MinSeok shivered at his own words, comparing himself to others, when there was absolutely nothing wrong with him; how he just didn't see himself the way KyungSoo saw him, or Lay. MinSeok never heard when Lay talked about his perfect, funny friend who fought like a lion in the Taekwondo class, always won in the soccer game, was organized more than any of the people he knew. MinSeok never heard when KyungSoo praised his intelligence, willpower, the way he cared for the younger one.
He never knew KyungSoo once wished he was him.
“Hyung, I know you. You may think I don't, but I do. And you know what? I don't recall having a worse, fatter, bad looking friend who was weird.” KyunSoo saw the moment when MinSeok eyes darkened at those words, as if he got betrayed. “But I do have a friend who is the best at making coffee and who wished to become a barista in the future; a friend who loved to eat the miso soup and made spaghetti with me every Wednesday before school; a person who I always hoped I could change places with for at least a day.” He paused for a bit, smiling at the memories that he knew the elder one remembered vividly. The once dark eyes had highlights in them as the light shone through the window.
“Hyung, stop putting yourself down before you see how much you're worth. You have friends around you who would jump in the fire with you, Lay would do anything for you. As for LuHan, don't you worry like that, ok? It'll all work out. Just remember I'm always here, if you ever need to talk.”
When MinSeok opened his mouth to thank his friend, Lay came storming into the shop, exhausted and sweating, but with a smile.
“Oh hyung, you still here. What have you been doing?”
“Actually, I'm going. I have something to do.” KyungSoo send him a questioning look to which MinSeok responded with a wink, leaving the shop after receiving a warming hug from Lay.
LuHan was wandering around with JongIn, telling him about his day and tackling to hold Monggu, who was more and more tangled around his legs with every move, on the leash. JongIn was just giggling, passive enough not to answer LuHan's questions.
They were near LuHan's home, considering that JongIn was meant to go to the dance practise today, but refused a minute before the start. Still not ready, so LuHan decided to take him out and as always, Monggu had to be present.
“You seem really down. Dammit Jong, why are you like this?” And again, the question vanished, ignored by JongIn who was simply unable to move his hands right now.
“Yah, don't ignore me like that.” He received a hit on the arm from his friend and finally made the effort. I'm not sure myself. I think I'll go somewhere.
“What? Where you going?” LuHan wasn't in the mood to be alone. Somewhere. LuHan squeezed JongIn as hard as he could as the punishment for wanting to abandon him. Something irked him, his eyes went up and he saw him. MinSeok. Standing in front of his apartment, staring at them. At JongIn.
“Jong, I need to go. Bye.” LuHan run, seeing as the boy disappeared behind the corner. Yah, what about Monggu? JongIn made furious hand gestures that no one saw, looking as the puddle run behind LuHan insanely.
“MinSeok!” LuHan shouted as he saw the car coming straight at his friend. He panicked, remembering what happened with SeHun and feeling as if he was to die any moment. The boy twisted his head around at the mention of his name and safely stepped back onto the sidewalk, without even noticing the oncoming car. LuHan felt his heart beat again, as he started panting from the stress.
“Baozi, god, I thought, god, I thought you'll leave me now.” His panting increased as the words just blurted out without control. The exhausted boy couldn't even imagine what would've happened and was more than thankful that the other one was securely standing in front of him.
“LuHan?”
Lay left for a meeting again.
The day lengthen with every minute, as if the seconds forgot to move on. Stuck in time, KyungSoo was still. Sitting on the floor, he looked through the CD's; ShinHwa, Tae JinAh, Step Up 3 Soundtracks... His eyes stopped, he thought to give it a try. He placed the CD in the player, when the door rang. KyungSoo naturally thought it was Lay, because he would be coming at these times, 6:36pm. Nearly closing. When he haven't heard a single hello, he turned around to see him. JongIn.
He stepped in with a confidence into the shop, no further welcome. The music played.
I can be a freak, I can I can be a freak...
The boy was dressed in an unusual clothes, a sleeveless white shirt with a fringes hanging on it, coloured ends as if covered in ash and shining silver pants, reflecting in the dim light of the bulb. Metal shoes. Bracelets on the left hand. A beautiful contrast with the darkness of his hair and eyes.
His chest boomed when the beat was introduced, the feathering moving in harmony with him. Hands sharply perforating the air, smoothly changing the position. Brisk steps, bounces and flow. Popping, locking, hypnotizing. The eye contact.
Like a fallen angel, immersing him in the show. Black and white. Silver.
Music stop. Eyes widened, breath lost.
He stepped closer and greeted KyungSoo with a simple wave of the hand.
“Wow, how did you? That was... Amazing.” KyungSoo felt himself holding a breath and he let out an immense exhale, his wide eyes intensively concentrated on the boy. His mouth gaped, astonished by the fortuitous performance. He instantly felt thrilled about his choice of music. Thank you.
What felt ridiculous was the sense of normality for a stranger to just come in and start dancing.
KyungSoo tried to understand the silent words, but no matter what he couldn't. He sprinted to the counter and handed him a pen and paper.
I didn't mean to interrupt you.
Again, he couldn't take his eyes off the writing, like a beautiful, perfectly shaped cursive. Mindlessly, he shook his head in denial, he definitely wasn't bothered about getting interrupted. At least not in that kind of way.
It became uncomfortably quiet for a while, JongIn walking around the shop, searching for something he could never find, KyungSoo contemplating a question. Within a second he gained confidence, knowing it would only last a second he quickly mumbled the words out.
“Can you teach me the silent language?” JongIn attention shifted to him and he gave an intense stare. This time KyungSoo tried to pronounce the words properly. JongIn smirked, smile becoming wider until it covered his whole face. He scribbled something on the paper and handed it to KyungSoo, heading towards the door and briefly winking at the stumbled boy.
Maybe.
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