Desolation. My dejected self existence was lost in the silence and the mournful melody of Comptine d'Un Autre Été.

Bitterness. The simple feeling that pierced the absent worlds of my consciousness.

Thoughts. That touched the corners of my insanity; lingered in the heart of the pain.

Words. The meaningless sentences I abhorred because they didn't save him.

Thursday 28th. 2010

They declared they were just friends. They acted like a couple and kissed like newlyweds.

Kim JongIn, the adroit pianist and prodigious dancer who sold his heart to the melody.

Oh SeHun, the astute photographer with an unknown longing to act, everyday, a different role in the theatre.

Soulmates.

“JongIn, you misunderstood. LuHan is just a friend. I didn't do anything. I went to his house in the mornin-”

“Misunderstood?! What did I misunderstood? The fact that you came out of his house in the morning, told me you were at the football practice yesterday as the reason you won't be home and now telling me nothing happened? Yeah, right.”

“JongIn-”

“Go to LuHan, , I'm sure he's waiting for you in his bed.”

You could speculate that love cames in different forms; this love was impeccable. Shy smiles, delightful laughter and comfort that came at night. Yet, it couldn't be contradicted, JongIn was a possessive and boisterous person; always too much time to speak, too little time to understand.

Didn't like to listen.

“JongIn, wait!”

He run, run away from the only person he cherished.

SeHun followed, tears rolling down his coral-colored cheeks, like rain streaming on the window. One by one, they hit the marble. Burdensome and heavy; his heart dropped to the ground.

No time to glimpse around, no time to check the light.

“SeHun, SeHun stop! SeHun, car! SeHun... SeHun ah!”

JongIn made it to the other side; his only love was left behind, chasing after him.

Silence fell and words were lost, there was nothing to say anymore.

Two days later, his hyung said, that he was with him all day. They spent the whole day playing football on the field, with his brother and a friend. Spent the night at hyung's house, because he missed his little dongsaeng and made him stay. Then told him to visit hyung's assistant, LuHan, to get some paper work for him.

“He died chasing you, because you couldn't listen. He didn't lie and I'm his alibi. I hope you will remember that for the rest of your life and I wish it will hurt your heart just hearing his name.”

Words died. Silence fell. He had nothing left to say.