Donghae's P.O.V.

I cry myself to sleep, thinking that with time, things will just fade away.

I cry myself to sleep, hoping that at least, it'll help me from moving on.

I cry myself to sleep, scared of what's going to happen in our next interaction.

I cry myself to sleep, to be able to smile again the next day and show a better side of me.

"Yoona, I was about to go." I said as I left the door open and went to the living room to meet the other members.

As expected, their faces were like, "what happened?", "what did you do?".

"Guys! Seriously, let's stop this." I said as as smile happily in front of the others and pat Eunhyuk's back.

After that, they were back to their normal self.

I can't help but think about the reaction of Yoona a while ago when she saw me. I don't know how to explain it, or I just can't seem to figure it out. Is she happy? Is she in an awkward situation? Does she feel uncomfortable?

Does she know how much I wanted to hug her? How much I wanted to kiss her white forehead? How much I wanted to touch her hand? How much I miss her voice? How much I wanted her to be mine again?

I have to let this out, this feelings out somewhere again. It's the only way I can control myself again. I put on a fake smile and faced the other members.

"Eunhyuk shii, I'll just go somewhere. I'll just go straight to the venue, you go first." I said as I grabbed my jacket, shades and went out of the SNSD's dorm without looking back.

I decided to go to the SM entertainment, and practice in one of the vacant rooms. I can feel my tears, falling and I don't feel like stopping them any moment. I opened the player, and scanned the playlist for songs. Then I saw our song, "She's Gone." I played it and listened to it as I sit on the floor.

Even if I roam quickly
The only thing I could do now
Is that I can’t do anything
When I see you with your back turned to me
The time love clearly took
Now I can see it too
Like a time of separation
I saw it coming
I didn’t know you were such a part of me

I burst into tears, no, I cried my heart out. I cried all the pain I was keeping inside. The pain that is slowly eating me. The pain that still lingers inside of me. The pain I can't show to anyone, for I'll just make them worry. And then in that special 2 seconds, "AHHHHHHHH!" I screamed my heart out.

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I wasn't able to watch Kyuhyun's musical. I don't feel well to show myself to the others. I texted them and said my apology especially to Kyuhyun. Luckily, he understands me.

I decided to stay at a cafe, wearing my jacket, beanie, scarf and shades to hide my swollen eyes, literally, swollen. I can't believe, that I'm like this. I thought to myself and smile towards the frappe infront of me.

"Yah, you didn't go to the musical, and here you are smiling alone for no reason?" I raised my head to see Eunhyuk with another frappe on his hands and sat infront of me.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Seriously, you're my bestfriend." He said as sipped from his drink.

"How did the play go?" I asked.

"It was great! Too bad, you we're able to watch it. Now, you're going to watch it alone in the next showing date." He said.

"I wasn't feeling well a while ago." I said.

"Really? Is that why you're wearing shades in this dim place?" He smirked.

"Wahh.. Eunhyuk shii, you know me too well." I said as I placed my hands at the back of my head as I stretch a little.

"You wanna go for some beef? Actually, the other members and girls are just across the street, then saw you here, all alone. So I decided to fetch you."

"I can't, She's there." I said with the thought of Yoona smiling as if she does not know I'm hurting.

"Yah, you'll always see her. You have to stay strong. Come on! I'm hungry, I want to eat dinner." He said as he signalled me to follow him.

I didn't turn him down and just followed him. I just have to get to use in seeing her since we're labelmates and our group has this close relationship that can't just burn down just because of me and Yoona. As long as I won't remove this shades, they won't notice.

I put on my best smile before I went in the shop and shared high fives and hug with the others.

"Yah, Donghae. You didn't go to the musical but went here to eat with us. That's unfair." Kang in said as he shoved meat down his throat.

"I explained to Kyuhyun shii, right?" I said as I smile towards him as I notice Yoona is infront of her.

I looked back to the person infront of me who is Sooyoung and just smiled naturally.

Heechul, who doesn't seem to know my current situation, joked at why I was wearing a shades during night time. I made an excuse.

"I look good in shades." I joked as I smiled at him.

He quickly removed the shades, that I wasn't able to get it back.

"Donghae yah! You're eyes are funny!" Heechul shouted with the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth.

I looked around, and saw Yoona with her eyes locked on mine.

"I told you guys I wasn't feeling well." I said as I grabbed my shades from Heechul's hand and placed it back on my face.

They didn't ask back and just continued eating, as the ambiance became a little awkward or too awkward.