Chapter 13: A Step Further

Silence engulfed the room as she listened to our manager over the phone. A few breathless moments later, she got off the phone and slowly faced us.

“Girls. Manager Kim just said that they have a date set for our debut.”

KRYSTAL POV

We were too giddy to go to bed after such an announcement. Luna and Sulli were jumping all over the place and Vic eomma and Amber were trying to calm them down, while I tidied up the mess we made.

As the clock struck 3:30, we all decided to hit our beds.

But as the minutes rolled by, sleep did not find me. Instead, I found my thoughts flying all over the place. Memories came rushing in – the first time I was approached by an SM manager, the first dance and voice lessons I took under SM, the first night I slept away from home and the first time I met Amber.

Amber was the first person I got close with in my years of stay in Korea. Since Jessica unnie was too busy with her own group, we didn’t have much time to catch up and bond like we used to. I missed my family, my sister and my friends. All those things I’ve found in Amber – she was a sister, a friend, a confidant and so much more. I’ve never had that kind of connection with a person before her.

Meeting Amber was something I will never forget. Her opening up to me has been a huge step in our relationship, as friends of course. I saw another side of her. She was a shy insecure girl on the outside but she was warm, thoughtful and emotional on the inside. I saw all that in the few months I’ve spent with her.

Nicole’s death took such a toll on her that sometimes I just want to make her forget all those miserable years. But I do not know how to do that. Even her sister, Jackie, who I’ve talked to just a few hours ago was worried about the well-being of Amber.

Despite talking to her for the first time, it was not hard to open up things to Jackie. She was easy to talk to. And with just two hours of video chat with her (while Amber was asleep), I found out more and more about the Liu family. In return, I told her the things we were doing here in Korea, the hard trainings we had to go through every day, the Korean lessons I was giving to Amber, and the first time she opened up to me.

Jackie was pleasantly surprise that I finally got through Amber’s defenses. She said that I should continue whatever I was doing and have Amber open up and release all the grief she was keeping for years.

“YAH! Be careful!”

”I am! But you’re in the way. Move!”

“Girls, calm down, okay. It’s too early to fight.”

“But she’s being too slow, we’re gonna be late!”

“YAAAAH! I said calm down. We’re gonna be late no matter how much we hurry.”

“Vic-eomma’s right. Let’s just calm down and try to be as quick as possible.”

A unison of yeses resonated in the house.

“Hey, where’s Krystal by the way?”

Amber’s sudden exclamation woke me right up. Looking at the clock on my bedside table, I saw that it was already 7:30. We were supposed to head out at 7 am to make it to SM at 8 am. I ran to take a quick shower, dressed in the first clothes I could grab and packed my bag in under 10 minutes. I was out of my room just as the girls were grabbing the last bits of their things. At quarter to 8, we were all in the service van eating our to-go power breakfast. When I say to-go breakfast, it just consists of a home-made protein bar, a banana and a solo carton of milk.

No one talked the whole way to the SM building. But there was a simmering atmosphere of amusement and excitement from the happening last night and this morning.

With dark circles under our eyes and stomachs still hung-over from too much food last night, we stepped in the rehearsal room to start another grueling day of training.

AMBER POV

The good news last night seemed like a million years ago. We were pushed into harder training sessions and more in depth Korean lessons only a few hours after the wonderful announcement.

“Okay girls! Listen up!” Manager Kim called our attention just as we were having our 15 minute break from the choreography sessions.

Wiping our sweat off, we huddled around our manager as he said, “Last night, I told you that SM has decided on the date of your debut.” We all nodded in excitement.

“With some more deliberation, we have chosen a group of writers and music producers to help you create your first album. Let me warn you, this is a rigorous process and if your hearts are not into this, you better quit now.” Manager said in all seriousness.

No one spoke. But an air of anticipation arose.

“Starting tomorrow, you will be given a new schedule for your intensive trainings. You will start with meeting the producers, then talk to them about your ideas and such. Your language lessons will replace your dance lessons in the afternoon. Further adjustments will be announced next week. Okay! Back to work!” Manager Kim left us to absorb everything he said.

“KYAAAAAAAAAH!” Sulli screeched, pulling all of us into a big hug.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! OH GOSH!” Luna started turning our huddled bodies around.

As we were bouncing in a circle, I happen to notice Krystal looking rather intently at me. She had a huge grin on her face, her eyes sparkling in joy and something I cannot quite place. I grinned back at her as we continued to spin in a Luna-induced dizzy spell.

Rehearsals were more brutal than before. After the bone-wrenching dance practice, we proceeded on to longer voice lessons. The long vocalization and warm-up were followed by singing Korean songs to practice our dictions and such.

Since I cannot read Hangul that well, I was given the Romanized lyrics to practice with. Taking our turns, we sang in front of our mentors. They would critique our style and suggest things that we should change.

I thought I could not sing any higher than what I could reach, but after weeks of training, I was proved wrong. Today, I reached the highest note I’ve ever reached; even our mentors were surprised by how much I’ve improved since we had our first session.

Our vocal session finished just as our vocal chords were about to die. We thanked our mentors and continued on to the last thing on our schedule for the day – language lessons.

Recently, only Vic-eomma and I had to go to these lessons. The other girls either take their showers or stay with us to assist in some way. Today, they decided to shower and rest in preparation for the ‘more rigorous’ trainings that will start tomorrow.

“Seonsengnim, I cannot quite understand this. Can you please repeat the explanation for this?” I asked one of our teachers.

“Our time for today is almost over. Why don’t we have you research this and I will explain next meeting if you still have a hard time getting this. Is that okay?” our teacher said.

“That’s actually a great idea!” Vic-eomma said.

With that, we tidied our things and went straight to the shower to take off the day’s grime.

As we neared the shower, I heard the girls talking in really hushed tones.

“…yeah. It was really bad, you know?” I heard Luna say.

“How bad was it, unnie?” Krystal replied.

We inched closer to hear the secret conversation clearer.

“…it…almost 6 months…I cried every night, I lost weight…I turned to singing to get over him.” Luna said in a shaky voice.

So they were talking about their love lives, huh? This should be interesting. I motioned for Vic-eomma to be quiet while we sneak up on the girls. She just smiled and followed my lead.

As we inched closer, I saw that Luna was actually crying and Sulli and Krystal were comforting her.

“He was my first love. And he broke my heart. Oh, Lord. It really hurt.” Luna continued.

“I really wanted to have a boyfriend, unnie. But after what you just told, maybe I’ll wait til I’m emotionally strong,” Sulli said.

“Yeah. That’s probably for the best, Sulli.” Luna said.

Vic-eomma chose that moment to barge into the sad scene.

“Hi girls! No more of those heartbreaking stories, okay?” she ruffled the girls’ hairs and continued, “Let’s just focus on our training and debut. Deal?”

With tears dried and minds cleared, we all headed home to get ready for the hard days coming.

When I was alone in my room after the filling dinner we had, thoughts came rushing in to my head. I thought about the 2 months with the girls. These short months had me changed into someone I wouldn’t have thought I could become. I became stronger, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Maybe, just maybe, I will finally be over Nicole and her death.