She was pretty, I had to admit. Prettier than most people. Yeah, I hung out with girls all the time, but they wore make-up all the time, never letting their natural faces show. I didn't like it. To me, make-up only meant one thing: you're covering yourself up because you admit you aren't good looking. But there were exceptions, of course. Like when someone wants to highlight their features, then that's fine. But this girl didn't even need any makeup; she was perfect the way she was. And she wasn't afraid to show it. Never any makeup, not for the past 2 years.

Yes, I've watched her for 2 years. When she had just started coming, I saw her skating around with her friend, and I just felt undeniably attracted to her. Her smile. Her laugh. Just her whole being made me feel calm, yet at the same time, made my heart race. It's never happened to me before. That's why I constantly kept my eye on her, until she noticed me. Then I had to be more subtle, but that didn't work either; I caught her looking back at me most of the time. Then I realized. Was she attracted to me too?

Nah, it couldn't be. It seemed as if we were from different planets almost. From observing her, it seemed like she was more of the quiet type, not talking to anyone if she didn't need to and was only able to express herself with close friends. I, on the other hand, was the opposite. I was the loud type; confident, outgoing, and not to mention, pretty much an idiot that did dorky things. But it didn't matter to me. I caught her staring at me countless times, and every time I did something stupid, she laughed. It didn't matter as long as I made her happy.

But of course, being an idiot came with making idiotic choices. I couldn't stop myself, I don't know why. Yeah, I was popular among the girls; at skating and at school. I didn't like it very much though. A lot of people thought I was a player when I actually wasn't, but what could I do about it? It stuck with the image of constantly being surrounded by girls. And it obviously didn't help that I couldn't say no. So whenever girls asked me out, I just said yes because I didn't want to reject anyone. Although it probably did seem like it, I never had my first kiss yet though, so I guess I should be proud. I wanted to save it for someone special, a girl that I genuinely liked. But now I'm questioning whether I'll even have a chance with a girl I like if I can't even talk to this girl at skating.

I'm pretty sure her name was Lily. I heard many people call her name multiple times; her friend that always skates with her and couple of others. I had to admit, I was really jealous of her guy friends. Jealous that they could talk to her, be with her, and just even be acknowledged by her. Yeah, we have all this eye contact all the time, but I would love to hear her even just say my name or just talk to me. Throughout countless weeks, I tried to come up with plans to talk to her and introduce myself or just start a small conversation. I felt confident about it through the week, but as soon as I saw her, all that confidence was long-forgotten, causing me to miss many chances of getting to know her.

As time went by, I got another girlfriend. But no, I still didn't like this girl. Her name was Haeun. She confessed to me after school one day, and we've dated for about two weeks. She was a really sweet girl, but no matter what, I couldn't bring myself to like her back. My heart was already Lily's.

I don't even know why I liked her. Was it her smile? I really did like it. It wasn't a perfect one, but it was one that showed her genuine happiness and it was cute. Her eyes would smile as well, making her whole face radiate. Was it her dorkiness? Whenever I looked at her, she would often be doing something dorky. Whether it be dancing, singing, making weird hand gestures, it was really cute and it made me smile whenever she would smile in embarrassment. Maybe it was her innocence. Every time we made eye contact, she would look away blushing, or she would always have this innocent look on her face because that was just how it was. Her whole presence to me was cute. But there were many girls like that, no? Then why her of all people? Why her of the billions that are on this earth?

Maybe it was because she wasn't fake. You could just tell by looking at her she wasn't fake. Her friend wasn't either, but she just wasn't my type for some reason. It was her. Yeah, even my friends were fake. Their voices were always dripping with sarcasm, or when their real sides showed, it would be ugly: selfish, rude, and just nasty. I could tell her friends were fake too: one would act all friendly to her but behind her back, he would talk bad about her, one was just pretending to be her friend so it wouldn't cause drama, and another was just... I don't even know. There was just something off about him, and all her friends. But at the same time, I guess they weren't as bad as the majority of the people our age. But she was different. She seemed so innocent, it didn't even seem like backstabbing was in her vocabulary. She was friends with everyone and polite.

"Jongin oppa, I wanna show you something, come!" A voice called out to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I walked over to her, trying to smile happily. "What is it, Haeun?"

She looked at me cutely and pointed to the pretzels being toasted in front of her. I sighed mentally. She always did this. What am I, a bank machine?!

I smiled forcefully at her, "You want one?"

She nodded and grinned, hugging me. I almost pulled away, scared that Lily would see, but remembered I couldn't. Haeun was a drama queen and would make a big deal out of it, but then again, Lily never comes out before skating ends. I took out my wallet and paid for the pretzel, handing it to her.

"Thank you, Jongin oppa, I love you!" She smiled happily and took a bite of it. I smiled and watched her, but I couldn't get my mind off Lily. What would her reaction be? Would she be as overly cheery as Haeun? Would she be shy and embarrassed? I wanted to see her reaction to all these things I did for my girlfriends. She probably wouldn't be fake like Haeun. Maybe she wouldn't even ask for anything...

I told Haeun I was going back into the rink and left, running back onto the ice. I needed to clear my mind. I was thinking too much about Lily; I had a girlfriend! I should just be happy one girl liked me. Why was I worrying about another?

Baekhyun came over to me, starting to skate with me. The only friend of mine that wasn't fake. We expressed ourselves freely around one another and told all our problems to each other, like real brothers. We didn't judge. Well, I told him everything but one thing. Lily.

"I see you bought Haeun something. Again."

I nodded and mumbled a little, "I swear she's only after me for money and gifts."

He chuckled, "Meh, at the same time, it seems like she really does like you. She hugs you a lot."

I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore, and he understood. "So how's your love life been going? Found anyone special yet?"

He hesitated before nodding, a shy smile forming. He wouldn't tell me, but I finally urged him to after a while.

"You see that girl skating in the black jacket, dark blue jeans, white figure skates, and has black hair? Skating with another girl, just passing the entrance?"

I looked over and saw Lily immediately. It couldn't be. I nodded slowly, and a huge grin came onto his face.

"That's her."

-----

I couldn't even face Baekhyun anymore. I would just give it away. It how I couldn't tell him about my attraction to Lily too; I had a girlfriend. But it wasn't fair! I had my eyes on her first! Ugh, life can really be unfair sometimes.

What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't just break up with my girlfriend. But I didn't want to see Lily with another guy, let alone my best friend! He was a good guy and all, but she was mine!

I guess this is what you get for being a coward. For not sticking up for yourself, for not knowing how to say no, for not knowing anything. 

But why would Baekhyun even like her? She was far from his ideal type. He liked the outgoing girls; one he could easily talk to, one that was popular, and of course one he could get intimate with. Not saying that she wasn't popular or anything, but she seemed secretive. It was actually kind of mysterious, which lured me in. Maybe that's what lured Baekhyun in also. He just recently broke up with his girlfriend too. Was she the reason why he called it quits? They were a good couple; they never cheated on one another, and although they unintentionally flirted with others, they knew they liked and possibly loved each other. It was strange how they broke up, but even stranger that she didn't seem too affected. Did she already have a feeling of what was going on?

I shook my head. I shouldn't get involved in all of this; it clearly wasn't my business. I just hope Baekhyun didn't start messing around with girls. Especially Lily. She didn't deserve it.

-----

Weeks passed by. He didn't seem to change his mind. In fact, he fell more and more for Lily. And I had to separate from her more and more. I constantly tried to pay attention to my "girlfriend", but I couldn't. All that was on my mind was Lily. Her face. Her smile. Her whole being. I couldn't get her out of my mind.

It didn't help that there was a limit on how much I saw her. It made me miss her more and more. Made me want to see her more. I was obsessed. But I couldn't help it.

Skating was coming close to an end, meaning I wouldn't see her for a whole half a year. That was way too long, and even if I hoped to see her elsewhere, maybe a mall or restaurant, I never would. My bad luck obviously played a role in this. I never got anything I truly wanted, her being an obvious one of them.

What was I supposed to do? I had a million reasons to want to go to her, yet only two reasons for staying away, them being that I had a girlfriend and my best friend liked her as well. Sadly, these two points overpowered everything. I'd have to make myself forget before I did anything regretful.

-----

The last week of skating for this season. The most painful week, or so it seemed like. I couldn't get her out of my mind. Everywhere I went, I searched for her. Everything I thought about involved her. Every dream I dreamt included her. I was going crazy.

The more the week progressed, the worse it became. Baekhyun came up to me on Friday and asked for a "small" favour.

"Hey man, could you kinda wingman for me? I know you don't know her, but could you do something that would, you know, make me look good? Or make a scenario in which I could talk to her, then I can go from there."

My heart was about to shatter into pieces. I wanted to say no. No, I couldn't make him look good. No, I couldn't do the favour. No, I couldn't get over her.

But all I did was nod and put a fake smile on.

"Of course hyung, what else are friends for? I'll help you."

"Thanks, Jongin!" He happily waved and left my sight, disappearing behind a wall to exit the school.

-----

D-Day. The last week of skating. I could barely find the strength to go. I didn't want to do this at all. But Baekhyun has helped me with so much throughout our friendship, I had to repay him somehow. I didn't even stop thinking about it the whole week; it was the only thing on my mind.

I walked through the doors and sat down in my usual spot on the bench. Thankfully, Lily wasn't here yet. Maybe she wouldn't come; that would save me. Maybe then Baekhyun would forget about her and I would be able to do something next season. But realistically thinking, she would be here. It's the last week, she wouldn't miss it.

Just as if on cue, she came in through the doors along with her friend, striding to the top bleachers. She didn't seem to notice me yet, but then she suddenly looked straight at me, making eye contact. I stared a little longer, not afraid to do so. However, she quickly turned away, blushing and tying her skates. I found myself smiling to myself. She was so adorable.

To my dismay, my worst enemy came in.

"JONGIN!" Haeun squealed and ran over to me, sitting beside me.

I smiled at her and hugged her when she threw herself on me. "Hey, Haeun." I quickly looked in Lily's direction, thankful she wasn't looking. I pulled away and stood up, already having my skates on. However, Haeun pulled me down and looked at me innocently.

"Oppa, I need help with my skates."

I mentally sighed but nodded, getting her skates out from her bag and doing everything for her. I basically felt like a servant, and she seemed a little too happy about that.

Once I finished, I got up and brushed the dust off my knees and started walking to the rink without her. Luckily for me, she didn't follow and started to talk with her friends instead. I jumped on the ice and began skating around quickly, loving the freedom of skating fast. I felt alive now; it was as if nothing could hold me back. Well, then of course Baekhyun had to come over.

"Hey man, are you ready for today?" He smiled widely and looked over in Lily's direction.

I nodded and smiled a little. He really did like her a lot. I've never seen him this happy. Well, I wish them the best. They both deserve it. Lily would be happier with Baekhyun than me; it'd end up looking like I was trying to play her all along. But if Baekhyun ends up with her, it would still look like I was messing with her. So either way, I'm the bad guy. No doubt about it.

We skated together for a while, then he went to catch up with his other friends. I skated by myself for a bit, enjoying the freedom of being able to move around. But of course, I had to get interrupted again. This time by a less pleasurable crowd of 4.

"Jongin! You skate so fast, wait up!" Haeun called for me and I had no choice but to slow down to wait for her and her friends.

"You never skate with me, what's with the change in mood today?" I asked her teasingly, but really just hiding my annoyance. This was the last time I would get to see Lily and I can't even look at her. Just great.

"I wanna skate with you today. It's the last day to skate, so I wanna spend it together." Haeun said happily and skated at my slow pace while her friends skated ahead, leaving us two alone. I smiled weakly and nodded, looking around for Lily. I caught a glimpse of her, but before I could see if she was looking in this direction, Haeun pulled on my arm, causing me to turn to her in surprise.

"What're you looking at?" She asked curiously.

"Eh? Oh, I was just looking for Baekhyun." I lied smoothly.

"Oh, he's over there by the exit! Wanna go over to him?" I nodded in reply and skated with her to the exit, getting off and heading towards Baekhyun. But looking at his expression, he was distracted. I looked where his eyes led, and just as I suspected, it was Lily. My heart sped up while watching her skate, laughing with her friend. I wanted to be the one to make her laugh. But in the end, I'd only make her cry.

"Baekhyun oppa, are you here? Hellooooo?" Haeun waved her hand in front of his face, taking a whole for him to come back to reality.

"Oh, Haeun, yeah. Sorry. What did you want?"

She pouted. "Both you and Jongin oppa seem so distracted today..."

"Ah, sorry, I was just thinking about something." He answered coolly and started chatting with Haeun.

More like watching something, I thought. Luckily, as dramatic Haeun was, she was oblivious and didn't think anything of our lies. She went off with her friends again, leaving me and Baekhyun alone. I didn't really want to be around him since he'd most likely start talking about Lily, so I told him I was going to skate around. He nodded and waved as I went back onto the ice. Hopefully Haeun wouldn't come back; I wanted time to look at Lily.

I skated around and felt someone looking at me from behind, so I looked back curiously. I didn't see anyone on my right side, but when I turned to my left side, I saw Lily quickly look down, automatically putting a smile on my face. She was so cute, I don't understand how she could have not had a boyfriend. But then again, I was lucky that she didn't, because I wouldn't have noticed her.

After a while of skating around and subtly watching Lily, the bell rang for cleanup. I skated around quickly a few more times before stopping at the exit. However, I didn't notice that Lily was right beside me, until I heard her laugh. I quickly turned to my side and saw her laughing with one of her male friends. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous; he was taller than her, almost like the perfect height for them to be dating, and she was looking up at him intently while he talked, seeming very interested. I also didn't notice one of my friends coming and stopping right next to me, causing me to bump into Lily a little. That was a bad mistake. She almost fell onto her friend, and he held her up by the waist and gave me a dirty look. She looked at me too, eyes widening when she saw it was me and blinked, trying to look normal. I muttered a quick 'sorry' and dashed off the ice. That was embarrassing. I didn't bother to look back and exited the rink, going into the main lobby where my friends were, but forgetting that Haeun would be there as well.

"Jongin oppa! Come sit over here!" She called out to me. I nodded and went over, sitting beside her as she chatted with her friends. I should really just forget about Lily. I have a girlfriend. What am I even doing, it's all my fault; how could I never say no? Am I that dumb?

Haeun snapped me out of my thoughts as she rested her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes. I looked over and instinctively her hair without realizing it.

"Tired?" I asked.

She nodded and smiled sleepily. But before I could say anything, her friends asked her something exciting and she shot up, answering passionately.

I blinked. Wasn't she just tired? I didn't think anything of it and as soon as I saw people being let in on the ice, I went back inside and jumped onto the rink, skating a few laps by myself. This is it. I'm going to forget Lily.

I went over to Haeun and her friends and started skating with them, making jokes and laughing with them. I felt a pair of eyes on me as I made my way around the rink with 4 girls with me, and for sure I knew it was Lily. I wanted to pull away, but I just couldn't. I had to give her up so Baekhyun could have her.

-----

The end of skating came, and I rushed outside to put on my shoes and leave as soon as possible to avoid seeing Lily and Baekhyun together. However, of course things wouldn't go my way, as friends kept constantly coming up to me and asking things, and Haeun bothered me to untie her skates for her. After getting my shoes on, I went to say bye to everyone and maybe get one last glimpse of Lily. My eyes widened as I saw her coming outside with her friend, but before I could even turn away, I saw Haeun running up to me in the corner of my eye. Before I could even turn myself around fully to face her, she tackled me into a hug and kissed me without a warning. My eyes widened and I couldn't help but look at Lily, wanting to show her that I didn't expect it either or I didn't want it. But I could feel myself becoming what I was at school. My face became emotionless as I stared straight at Lily.

I could see the shock on her face, ripping my heart to shreds. I didn't want this. I wanted to make her smile. But before I could pull back from the kiss or even move anywhere, Lily quickly left in the direction of the bathroom. Not a while later, I saw Baekhyun get up and follow her.

My heart was breaking, but I guess I deserved it. 

---------------------------------

A/N: Thank you guys for reading! Sorry for such a late update; school took over and I didn't think anyone wanted this anymore haha. I started writing a new fanfic (this time not a one-shot), so I'll post a chapter up when I'm finished writing the first 3 :). Once again, thanks for reading and hope you liked it!