"You can't lend my shoulders anymore"

My Turn To Cry

"Where are you going?" Asked a familiar voice from behind, making Jessica freeze in place. She slowly turned around and made a little noise at the back of . "Out, duh?" She rolled her eyes.

"You're not going."

But at that moment, her buttons were pushed. "Why not?"

"It's a date, isn't it?"

"Who said it was, one? I'm going now." Before she could turn around, he stopped her again.

"One more step, Jessica, and I will-"

"you will what?" She glared at him.

"You don't get it, do you?" he rubbed his face with his hand and placed it on his waist.

"You're SNSD's Jessica, for god's sake."

"Uh, yes?"

"You are an idol and almost everyone in all of Asia recognize you! Yet you're going out with who? AN EXO MEMBER!" She flinched when he emphasized the group's name. "You and that kid have a load of schedules to attend every day and yet you want to play? It's not something funny because papparizzis and sasaengs are everywhere!" He snapped. 

"But we'll go somewhere safe-"

"Where somewhere safe, Jung Sooyeon? One of that kid's delusional fan has been following you 3 times and she came up to me by herself to give me warnings"

"So what?"

"..So what?" He gaped at her in disbelief and scoffed at how stubborn she was acting. "Your career will be ruined-"

"It's my career!"

"No, Jessica. You belong to a group. Once you up, the whole group's ed up." He spoke with a stern voice, zipping Jessica's mouth. "Including that kid's life." Those were his last words before he turned around and walked away. 

3 months later

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Yixing asked. "Nothing.. I'm just.. really feeling... down today.." She replied without looking at him. "Again.." He finished her sentence. Jessica glanced at him and rolled her eyes. Jessica then laid down and hugged her pillow tight, letting a teardrop fall from her right eye. When Yixing laid down beside her and noticed the sparkly-like teardrop, he immediately wiped it away using his thumb. "Sleep well" He whispered.

This, had become a weekly routine for them. 

It started when they were getting to know each other and Jessica confessed that she was going through a small depression. And he somehow ended up singing for her to make her stop crying and that also made her sleep, always. Since then, when he would call her, he'd always sense that there was something wrong with her so he would come over. And without those phone calls now, one could not go through a week without ending up sleeping beside each other. 

...But they both knew that this could not go on forever.

Love is something called a miracle. It teaches us that whenever we love someone, life feels divine. You would do anything to make your partner happy. Somehow, I feel like I love him more than I love myself. I love him too much to let him go. But I love him too much that I would rather save him rather than letting him slip away from my hands. I love him.

"Hey Jess" He flashed a smile at his girlfriend. "Hey" She immediately smiled when she felt his warm lips press against her skin. When he pulled away, he sat down beside her on the bench, enjoying the scenery. "Look" He pointed at the stars. Jessica only glanced at them once and then stared at him as he talked. 

.....

.....

.....

"You think so?" He looked at her, waiting for an answer. But only an inaudible "Yeah" could escape from and jus like that, tears poured out like a heavy river from her eyes. "J-jessica.." He cupped her face ever so gently and raised her chin up to make eye contact with her. "I don't think........" she couldnt finish her sentence. Never ever. "Shh.." He laid his forehead on hers, closing his eyes. He knew what she was talking about. He found out about the secret threats the sasaengs directed towards his girlfriend. He knew she wanted to keep him safe, that was all. But even if he didn't care about his own career, Jessica would also be in danger too. 

He bitterly smirked when he thought that the world was against their relationship. Sure the boys and girls were supporting them but no matter what, their 'celebrity life' is just against it. When you're in love, everything you do for love is foolish, they say. Indeed it's true. They are foolish.

But falling for each other was never a mistake. 

When Jessica was trying so hard to hold back her tears when they both were laying on one bed, she said with a trembling voice, "Don't make it hard... please." She smiled. Yixing kissed her forehead slowly answering, "Don't worry." They had a hard time falling asleep that night. They were both afraid to let go. But between them, their promises are never meant to be broken.

When Jessica felt like the sunlight rays were barbing through her eyeballs, she had a small headache because of that, causing her to flutter her eyes open. She sighed when his voice echoed around her head.

"Don't cry in places without me." His voice was unfogettable especially the words too.

She was afraid to roll to her left, because she knew, she just knew that he won't be there. 

And she was right.