1.1

Hey, Beautiful.

Isn't it ironic? I'm leaving (when you get this letter, I will already be gone) but I still want to leave you something. I don't know why. Maybe because I know that you'll never see me again. Or maybe because I love you too much to fully let you go.

But I must.

You think I don't notice - the tears in your eyes whenever I cry or the disappointment sketched on your face when I refuse to eat - these little things. I do. I really do. I know how much misery I caused you. I know what you're thinking. Something along the lines of 'But you leaving is my ultimate misery'. You don't understand. When I tried to leave, when I tried to die, I could see the pain in your eyes. I love you, and I don't want to see that.

Each time you say please, I swear I can feel my heart break further. How can a heart break further when it has already been crushed?

I love you so much. I don't know if you've ever believed it, but I really do. I love you so, so much that I'd do anything for you. But I had to leave you. If we continued this, the only outcome is more pain.

I don't know if I'll ever get better. Maybe I won't, maybe I will. I believe in fate. I believe in God. Do you believe in God? I know you prayed. You prayed almost every night. (