The room is dark and there is only minimal light filtering in. The orange curtains are drawn and the ceiling fan is off, the room eerily silent.

Her body is curled up on the bed, bones jutting out painfully, extreme angles forming when she bends. Her joints creak as she shifts, making her groan. She can hardly wake up in the mornings and she has been having more migraines than usual. The second her eyes flutter open, the pain invades her head, the nagging ache constantly there. That's why most of the time, she just sleeps.

Taeyeon watches the blonde girl shift in bed. Taeyeon is on the floor, hugging her knees to herself, silently watching the girl. She steels herself for the hoarse whispers of the girl but nothing is heard and she relaxes instantly, shoulders drooping down, hands unclenching. The girl doesn't stir awake and Taeyeon stands, moving towards the girl.

She sits on the bed, the bed sinking a little as she runs a hand through the girl's blonde hair. Her hair is soft and silky. Taeyeon had always loved her hair. Her eyes shift to the girl's face and she bites her inner lip to keep from crying out. The girl's cheekbones are prominent and her face has a sharp v-line. Her jawline is obvious and why does she look so small in Taeyeon's eyes?

Taeyeon tugs a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. The small action causes the girl to flutter her eyelids a little.

She is awake.

"Tae?" The girl whispers, voice entirely hoarse.

The pain is back and invading the girl's mind. She raises an arm and massages her temples gently. Taeyeon almost cringes at the sight of her arm, bent in an awkward angle.

"Shh, Jessica, go back to sleep," Taeyeon urges the girl.

Jessica shakes her head tiredly.

"Can't. It's hard."

Jessica sits up and the blanket pools at her waist. Taeyeon frowns a little, eyebrows pulled downwards.

"Tae, water please. And painkillers." The girl requests and Taeyeon rushes out of the room and grabs the pills and the glass of water she had prepared earlier. She enters the room to find Jessica in the same position. Her brown onyx eyes are boring into Taeyeon's and Jessica even smiles a little. Taeyeon hands her the pills and the glass of water. Downing both the pills and the water, she places the cup on her bedside table

"Shall I turn on the light?" Taeyeon asks gently.

Jessica stills and Taeyeon wonders if she said something wrong. The silence is deafening to Taeyeon and it drives her crazy. (How can silence be this loud?)

"Don't. Please," The girl finally breaks the silence, her voice still hoarse, the water not doing any good.

"Anything you want? Some food?"

Taeyeon's voice is hopeful and it breaks Jessica's heart a little to see her girlfriend's eyes light up a little. She looks down at her bare hands. There used to be a ring on her ring finger. Taeyeon had given it to her as a promise. She really wanted to have the ring on her ring finger again.

(The ring didn't fit anymore.)

"I'm sorry, Tae," Her voice is trembling and she's shaking because she wants to cry so bad.

Taeyeon notices Jessica's shaking voice and her eyes widen.

"No, no, no. Jessica," She whispers.

Taeyeon takes Jessica's hand and presses her lips to each of her knuckles. It kills Jessica, seeing Taeyeon like this, because the more Taeyeon hopes, the more Jessica breaks.

"Jessica. Please don't cry," Taeyeon rests her chin on Jessica's head and Jessica automatically snuggles into her neck.

"Tae, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I-"

The blonde girl pauses mid-sentence and it makes Taeyeon wonder why. It is only when Jessica pulls away and presses her parched lips against hers that she realizes.

Taeyeon's crying.

***

"Do you want to go out?" Please, Taeyeon wants to add but decides not to. (It's too much of a burden.)

It is one of the few times Taeyeon asks Jessica to go out. Jessica is well aware that being cooped up in a room isn't good for her. But sometimes, she just feels so so weak and she can barely stand. The hopeful glint in Taeyeon's eyes are omni-present and Jessica really doesn't want to let Taeyeon down.

(She hates it when that hopeful glint is replaced by a dull glow of disappointment.)

"Okay."

Taeyeon brings Jessica to a secluded area. Grass everywhere and trees swaying softly in the wind. The sky is a dull gray and Taeyeon wishes it wouldn't rain on her parade, literally, because Jessica seldom agrees to go out.

Taeyeon helps the blonde to settle down on the grass because she's getting unstable recently. Her legs can hardly carry her weight anymore (not like she's of any weight anyway.)

"It's nicer outdoors, isn't it?"

"Mhmm."

"We should definitely go out more often," Taeyeon states.

"Mhmm."

"The wind is cooling."

"Mhmm."

Truthfully speaking, Taeyeon loves it when Jessica hums her reply. Her hum, despite her usually high-pitched voice, is low and smooth. Rich and honey-like. Nowadays, all Taeyeon gets to hear is her hoarse voice. So Taeyeon sighs and lets herself get lost in the moment for a while. She closes her eyes and sinks into the grass, wanting to be here forever.

"Tae?"

Her eyes snap open and she sees Jessica watching her. For once, her eyes are bright, shining, twinkling even. Taeyeon lets a smile grace her lips and guides Jessica into her embrace. Despite Jessica's bones digging into her ribcage, Taeyeon knows that nothing has changed. Their love remains the same no matter what.

Taeyeon wishes that this peace could last forever.

(But wishes don't really come true, do they?)

"Ignore them."

On their way home, Jessica receives stares from everyone they meet. It isn't surprising though. The clothes on Jessica seem baggy (they aren't supposed to be) and she looks so weak and tired. The current Jessica earns more than just stares though.

She can hear the whispers all around her.

(What's wrong with her?)

(God, she looks horrible.)

(That looks disgusting.)

Is she disgusting? Jessica has never thought of herself as disgusting. Taeyeon always said that she's beautiful no matter what.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

The words kept repeating in her head.

"Jessica, ignore them," Taeyeon reminded.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

"Jessica, please don't torture yourself like this."

The words are too loud and it's driving her insane.

(Please, I'm not disgusting. Please, stop saying that. Please, just stop.)

(No. No. No.)

She presses her hands against her ears, trying to stop the voices in her head. Taeyeon is getting more worried and panic rushes through her. She tries to pry Jessica's hands off but it's not working.

And all of a sudden, Jessica runs.

Her eyes widen in surprise and she immediately chases after Jessica.

But Jessica's weak; she can barely stand, let alone run. Jessica collapses to the ground only after a few metres, having tripped over herself, suffering minor scatches.

Taeyeon had to carry her home.

***

The sobs are audible and Taeyeon soon finds Jessica in the room. It is dark; it is always dark. The curtains are always drawn. The ceiling fan is never on because it's too cold for Jessica.

Jess