More Than The Air I Breathe

 

 

 

Chapter 6

 

 

Things get slowly better for Luhan. 

 

After the first eventful month back in Korean and after having managed to get accustomed to all the news in his life, Luhan finally finds himself living very peacefully. Not a lot has really changed from his old life in England though, except for the culture and the language, obviously, as Luhan still teaches English at university, still goes around in a nice car, even if it's Bambi now and not Donald anymore, and he still lives lonely in an apartment that sometimes seems too big and cold for him alone. 

 

Compared to the sense of desperation that has afflicted him during the first weeks back in Seoul, though, even this sense of melancholic routine is a better prospective to Luhan. 

 

Some positive changes has happened after all, Luhan can't deny. He has Hyeri back, he has gotten quite close with a fellow colleague at work, the Chinese piano teacher Zhang Yixing, and Luhan likes the little friendship born between them sincerely. Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun don't ever leave him a single day without their young smiles, and he has Kyungsoo.

 

If Luhan has to be completely honest, he can't say he is lonely now. 

 

He wakes up early in the morning and hurries to the campus, excited to spend the day teaching and sharing moments of life with young, lively students, and stays until late to help whoever is in need of clarifications or, simply, a talk with someone he look up to. Luhan feels glad he is one of these someones, because he loves students and he loves the way they are not afraid of dreaming high. After work, he sometimes hang out with Yixing, or he sometimes goes having dinner with Hyeri and Kyungsoo at their place. Other times he invites the little family home, usually accompanied by Baekhyun as well, or he gets invited by the young group of friends to hang out to watch a movie or eat something together.

 

"You guys only invite me to make me pay." he has jokingly said once, and received mortified looks in return.

"Nonsense, hyung!" Baekhyun has answered "You look younger than Chanyeol and Sehun! You are just so hot."

"Byun Baekhyun!" the lovely couple exclaimed then, ready to chase after the witty boy to take its revenge. 

Luhan has laughed, amused, and looked for a pair of big, lively eyes he always found himself looking for in every occasion. 

 

The eyes of the one who has become Luhan's biggest, most unexpected and welcomed change.

 

He sometimes finds himself looking at Kyungsoo during lectures, when Kyungsoo is not paying attention, too busy writing notes down on his books or muffling soft laughs with Baekhyun, always by his side. He doesn't know why, but Luhan still does, he steals those little moments of Kyungsoo's ordinary life that make him smile softly. Kyungsoo always waves at him briefly when he leaves, hinting a little smile while Baekhyun waves energetically and smiles as bright as the sun. At the end of the day, though, it's Kyungsoo Luhan often finds at his door with his cheeks flushed and big boxes with home-made food for him. He lets Kyungsoo in, eats with him, chats with him, laughs softly and drowns into big eyes full of innocent concern and care.

 

Things get better slowly, but they do. Luhan soon realizes it's manly Kyungsoo making them.

 

 

-

 

 

"It almost seems like Luhan came back for you instead of me."

 

Kyungsoo almost chokes, ugly spitting some of his milk and cereal out on the kitchen table. He sends his mother a look, and notices Hyeri is not even looking at him as she speaks. She seems lost in her thoughts, and her tone is concerned. 

 

Kyungsoo is given no time to answer that she speaks up again. "Alright, I get you are all males and it's probably nice to hang out but.. I don't know, he came back here and looked for me even before he looked for an apartment and now it seems I'm just your mother and you his best friend."

 

Hyeri finally looks up to her son, tilting her head "When did this happen? It's because of my job, right?"

"Mom."

"It's not something I can really fix. My job is tiring and you know how much it drains me. I don't have a social life for a reason."

"Mom."

"And you've practically raised yourself alone. Do I work too much, Kyungsoo?"

"Mom, you're having a monologue."

 

Hyeri finally stops talking, realizing her actions and pouting childishly. She gives Kyungsoo the right to speak with a motion of her hand.

 

"Why are you justifying yourself, with me?" Kyungsoo asks calmly "I'm sure Luhan-hyung never thought of accusing you of anything. He knows your job, and he knows you're lazy."

"Hey."

"You are." Hyeri only shrugs helplessly "I don't think he came back thinking of hanging out and sticking around you like during high school. He just wanted his friend back, knowing she is here and.. making sure she knows he is, too."

 

Kyungsoo goes back to his breakfast quietly, thinking of having just exposed the obvious, and sending a little embarrassed look at the his previous spit still on the table before hurrying to clean up. Hyeri sighs.

 

"You are so perfect, Kyungsoo."

The boy quickly sends her an amused look, "I'm really not."

"You are." Hyeri smiles lovingly "You are caring and sweet, you understand situations so well and you flawlessly manage to be flawless."

"I really don't understand situations." Kyungsoo states, thinking Baekhyun has always been the one in charge of understanding and, to be completely honest, of being flawless too.

 

Hyeri only smiles more, reaching out a hand to pinch his cheek. 

 

"You don't even understand how precious you are, my love."

 

It's a sentence Kyungsoo hears often from his mother, and from Baekhyun, but because they are the people he has practically grown up with, he has always thought they were just being biased. He thinks he doesn't understand how precious he is because, simply, he isn't. 

 

Then, Luhan says this sentence, too.

 

They are at the grocery shop, buying ingredients for a cake Luhan has decided to try making and bringing Kyungsoo to worriedly join him in the process, trying to save Luhan's new kitchen from going on fire after not even a month, and Luhan is blinking helplessly while looking for some strange ingredient Kyungsoo has noted down on his list and he's sure he has never heard about.

 

"Hyung, what are you doing?" Kyungsoo asks as he sees him dumbly checking the shelfs of the baking section. 

Luhan turns around, ashamed, and gets even darker at the sight of all the food Kyungsoo has already collected into his bask. 

"I can't find this one ingredient." he explains, mumbling "I don't even want to ask around because it's so embarrassing."

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head as he moves closer, letting Luhan show him what the not to be found ingredient on the list is. He has to fight his deepest instinct not to face-palm, but he can't help bursting out laughing as he reads.

 

Luhan frowns deeply, his expression completely fallen as he observes Kyungsoo laughing so hard he has to pose a hand on his arm and lean close for support. Luhan would get highly offended, whatever the reason to that laugh is, if Kyungsoo's laugh wasn't such a bright and cute thing. So, he only stares, pouting.

 

"Hyung," Kyungsoo finally says, holding his stomach "This is not an ingredient. 'Sac à poche' is French, it's an utensil used to decorate cakes."

Luhan blushes severely, letting Kyungsoo drag him along until they are standing in front of some other shelf and a strange object is being put into his hand.

"Here it is." 

Luhan snorts as he observes it. "You laughed at me so uglily."

Kyungsoo smiles a gummy smile, embracing Luhan's arm childishly and leaning closer to cuddle, warming the older man up knowingly.

"Tell the truth, how were you even going to bake this cake without me."

 

Luhan smiles, hitting a spot on Kyungsoo's forehead playfully. "Maybe I did it on purpose."

Kyungsoo closes in his shoulders. "You don't have to play games to have me around you. I'm always around you."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"No, but, you could get tired." the younger says "I'm just a boy."

Luhan, walking with Kyungsoo to the cash desk, looks for his eyes. "You really think I could get tired spending time with you?" 

 

Kyungsoo only smiles bashfully, tilting his head. He is given no time to answer the older's question that a noise coming from not much far away brings them both to turn around, meeting a group of young girls smiling excitedly as they pass by, eyes fixed on them and palms covering embarrassed smiles and flushed cheeks. Their laughs ring with thrill. 

 

Kyungsoo stares, lost, at the group slowly walking away, young laughs getting more and more distant, with big, puzzled eyes. After all, he thinks, this is just what usually happens whenever Luhan is around. He turns to send the other an incriminatory smile but he finds Luhan already smiling at him, soft. 

 

"What?" he asks, awkward, and Luhan shrugs.

"Those girls died over you."

"They died over you." Kyungsoo corrects "Why would they even look at me when I'm besides you. I mean, I'm handsome, but you."

"Ah, really now?" Luhan laughs softly "You're handsome?" 

Kyungsoo punches his arm. He has always been rather confident about himself in general, not because there is a lot in him to be confident about, but simply because he has never cared about others.

 

Just then Luhan wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "That's right, you are handsome." he says "And you're also cute, smart, gentle, sweet, attractive and adorable."

Kyungsoo shifts away from the other with a sharp move and hits him again, shaking his head, but a smile forces its way on his lips.

"I'm not half of the things on that list, especially the adorable part." to prove his point, he punches the other's arm lightly again.

"The adorable part was especially true."

 

With a snort, Kyungsoo gives up. After a moment of silence, Luhan continues. 

 

"You know, sometimes I think you just don't understand how precious you are, Kyungsoo."

 

It's so accurate, so identical, so honest, just like his mom and Baekhyun's one, and Kyungsoo can't help but feel a sense of authentic astonishment at hearing those words from Luhan of all people.

 

Oblivious to his thoughts, Luhan looks for his eyes by cupping one of his cheek and tilting his head slightly up.

 

"It's alright, though. The people who love you will always be there to remind you that you are."

 

Kyungsoo watches as Luhan gives a last smile before going back throwing a look at the queue and then finally moving forewords to pay their things. For the entire process, Kyungsoo's mind collaborates but his body doesn't, too busy trembling slightly as he tries to register Luhan's sweet words.

 

Luhan is among those people who love him. Luhan loves him.

 

Kyungsoo realizes that for how many facets this sentence may have, all of them make his heart flutter.

 

 

-

 

 

Chanyeol organizes a trip for Sehun's birthday. At least, he tries to.

 

"Tell me how are we suppose to go on a trip without a car?" Baekhyun smartly asks him at lunch, in the campus' cafeteria. Chanyeol frowns deeply, quickly going from looking like an excited baby to look like a kicked puppy. 

"You bought tents but you didn't think of how to move around." Kyungsoo says, sending a discontent look to whatever is staying in his plate that he is definitely not going to eat "That's so you, hyung."

 

Chanyeol sighs, resting his chin on his palm hopelessly. 

 

"I guess we should think of something else." 

"You should." Baekhyun corrects "Your boyfriend, your business."

Chanyeol snorts. "You are just acting like this because you know I can't make up good plans without your help." Baekhyun grins widely "What do you want, this time? I have no money for you, I have to think of a present for Sehunie's birthday."

 

"Sehun's birthday? When is it?" 

 

The three boys quickly snap their heads up to meet Luhan's bright eyes and smiling face greeting them. Zhang Yixing stands besides him, lost, and both of them have trays in their hands. They all bow their heads at the two men.

 

"On the 12th." Chanyeol answers the previous question, sounding sad.

"Really?" Luhan smiles "Mine is on the 20th." 

"Wow, really hyung?" Baekhyun asks, a big smile on his face before suddenly going to look at Chanyeol and finding Chanyeol looking at him with big eyes.

 

"I thought of it first." Baekhyun says.

"Hell, no, I did."

 

Kyungsoo looks at his friends critical, shaking his head and already anticipating some strange plan while Zhang Yixing looks even more lost than before and sends Luhan a look the man doesn't notice, too busy narrowing eyebrows at Baekhyun and Chanyeol who, suddenly, look up at him expectantly.

 

"Hyung, I have a great idea." they say in unison before glaring at each other. 

Kyungsoo puts a spoonful of rice in Chanyeol's mouth to shut him up, letting Baekhyun speak up and leading the taller boy to send him a killer look.

 

"Let's go on a trip." Baekhyun smiles at Luhan meanwhile "We will celebrate yours and Sehun's birthday together!"

 

Luhan considers the idea with a little pout, oblivious to the dazed look his colleague sends him from besides, before eyeing Chanyeol curiously.

 

"Do you think Sehun could like something like this?" 

Chanyeol immediately smiles. "Definitely, this is a great idea, if you don't have other plans."

"I don't." Luhan says, smiling sweetly to the boys. 

 

"Great then." Baekhyun exclaims, sending Kyungsoo an excited look the younger doesn't reciprocates.

Luhan gives them all a bright look before apologizing to Zhang Yixing for the time he is wasting. The man only smiles gently and shakes his head. 

Luhan then bends down until his face is close to Kyungsoo's one, making the boy jump as he was too busy wondering how Baekhyun and Chanyeol could always come up with the strangest things to notice. 

 

"You should eat." Luhan whispers in his ear, eyeing all the untouched food in his tray before posing a box of kimchi jjigae down and then smiley greeting them all goodbye. Kyungsoo recognizes the box quickly, the big one he has bought Luhan the day before for dinner, and feels his cheeks going on fire. 

 

"Wow," Baekhyun dreamily says "I want a 'Luhan-hyung', too." 

 

Chanyeol chuckles from his position, and Kyungsoo only blushes more as he glares at them.

 

"Shut up."

 

 

-

 

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo spend at least ten minutes arguing on who should sit besides Luhan during the ride, none of them wishing to be with Sehun and Chanyeol on the backseats for two hours.

 

"Solve with rock, paper, scissors, no?" Luhan suggests while placing the last bags in the trunk and the two friends give up, playing the game under the annoyed eyes of Sehun and Chanyeol.

 

Of course, Baekhyun wins.

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and immediately sends a glare to the two boyfriends. "No kisses." 

 

The two rolls their eyes in return and Luhan chuckles, smacking Baekhyun's head gently as he laughs wholeheartedly at Kyungsoo's misfortune. 

 

"Hey, hyung, did you have problems with Yixing-seonsaengnim eventually?" Chanyeol suddenly asks, concerned, after Kyungsoo had made all them realize that treating Luhan like a old buddy in front of his colleague and, on top of everything, in the campus cafeteria, hasn't been the smartest idea of all.

"No, don't worry." Luhan reassures "Yixing is a very understanding friend. Besides, it was me approaching you guys." 

 

The boys all nod, pending from Luhan's words, and finally everyone takes his seat inside Bambi. Kyungsoo still thinks it wasn't a great idea.

 

The road to the campground is calm and comfortable, with Baekhyun spending the entire time happily singing around and making everyone sing along effortlessly. Luhan smiles at the boy and Kyungsoo eventually lets himself go as well, taking Sehun's hand and Baekhyun's one to connect into a waving line as they all party for a while. When the atmosphere calms down a little, but Baekhyun still sings and Luhan still follows with his surprisingly nice voice, Kyungsoo rests his back and head on his seat and closes his eyes, moving his head to the rhythm of the music.

 

He snorts when he feels Chanyeol and Sehun besides him moving closer to the other and he is sure he hears a well known sound that makes him cringe.

 

"I said no kisses."

"What the hell, Kyungsoo, your eyes are closed!" Chanyeol protests and wraps an arm around Sehun's shoulder, the younger boy laughing between them before kissing Chanyeol again. 

 

Kyungsoo snorts louder and kicks Baekhyun's seat in revenge. Luhan yells at him for having hurt his Bambi, and Kyungsoo definitely gives up.

 

The campground is really beautiful, they all notice as soon as they arrive to destination. It is immersed in green, with tall trees surrounding the entire place and a long, flowered way that leads to the wildest part of the zone. It is provided of the minimal services, as people who love camping like, and is only fifteen minutes away from a local little lake. 

 

Luhan and Chanyeol hurry to place the two tents on the ground while Baekhyun takes a few photos and Kyungsoo settle all their bags and equipment down. Sehun stares at Chanyeol struggling with his job doing absolutely nothing else, halfway between amused and , and receives a kick in the by Kyungsoo at one point.

 

"We're gonna sleep like, the three of us in the biggest tent and Chanyeol and Sehun in the smallest one, right?" Luhan asks while breathing heavily for the stress of installing the tents, sending questioning looks to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

"I should have bought a third tent," Chanyeol says, sending the man a guilty look "Sorry, hyung."

Luhan waves him off with a big smile.

 

"But why do they sleep together?" Baekhyun pouts then "Is this legal?"

Sehun snorts and flips his hair at that, offendedly giving Baekhyun his back as he settle Chanyeol's and his things down in the small, intimate, green tent making everyone laugh.

 

It's only two days and one night outside, but Kyungsoo has brought a ridiculously large amount of food along, Luhan notices after a while.

 

"No wonder Bambi couldn't take Chanyeol's guitar case," he points out as he observes the two backpacks filled with food only that Kyungsoo is busy taking out "This is enough for an army."

"If you stop with this 'Bambi' thing, I'd be absolutely grateful." Kyungsoo only answers, looking up at Luhan with big eyes as the man sits down besides him and smiles.

"No way," he says, gentle "But I can help you here, if you want."

 

Kyungsoo melts down like the marshmallows he is sure Baekhyun will want to roast later that night.

 

As on clue, Kyungsoo quickly recovers himself and rolls his eyes at the sight of an enormous bag of white, sugary devilry popping out of nowhere and staying in Baekhyun's hands.

 

"What?" Baekhyun says, flipping his hair "I knew you would have kept me from taking the holy marshmallows along, so I had to bring them my way."

"Oh my God, marshmallows." Luhan widens his eyes in excitement, running over to Baekhyun to celebrate on the food and making Kyungsoo face-palm.

 

"Okay, let's take the important things along and go for a walk." Luhan exhorts after a while, clapping his hands and immediately bringing Chanyeol to prepare his and Sehun's backpack for the following, little excursion. Baekhyun pouts.

"Can't we just sit here and I don't know, enjoy the nature?"

"Take your camera along, Baekhyunie." Luhan says while patting his back, giving absolutely no attention to the boy's words. Baekhyun sighs and obliges, starting walking past Kyungsoo when the younger curls around his arm and sends him a little grin. 

 

Chanyeol and Sehun, who have been there before with Chanyeol's family several times already, lead the way through the wooded path. Luhan follows quietly while humming to a song, careful to every step he makes on the dusty and stony road, and Kyungsoo lets go of Baekhyun's arm to do the same and to let his friend take some photos of the scenery all around. 

 

They walk for more than thirty minutes, having to stop a few times to let Baekhyun drink out of fatigue, until Sehun decides they can stop and set down for a break. They have reached far away the campground and the landscape surrounding them is wonderful, with an expanse of green and blue that meet in a blurred line at the horizon, the sun slowly moving to reach it and meanwhile shining brightly in the sky.

 

Chanyeol hugs Sehun from his back, resting his chin on the shorter boy's soft hair and smiling brightly at the scenery, and Sehun holds his hands in return. Luhan observes the landscape quietly, thinking of how long it had been since he last got to see something so breath-taking, too immersed into his studies and his job to need a group of teenagers to bring him back seeing the beauties of the world again. Baekhyun stares in awe, camera held in his hands that he doesn't move, because some things simply can't be remembered through photos. Kyungsoo smiles softly, wandering his eyes on the landscape until he spots the most beautiful thing of all.

 

Luhan stays still, dark hair turned into gold at the bright sun shining on it, and his fair skin shines almost dazzling to Kyungsoo's eyes. He looks young, ageless, eternal like that, standing at the top of the world with sunlight making him glow more than usual. 

 

Kyungsoo feels unexplainably content at the only sight, and his heart misses a beat. 

 

"We can move down again to reach the lake, if you all agree." Chanyeol says then, making Kyungsoo almost jump. Everyone agrees and Baekhyun blows his hair out of his sweaty forehead.

"The downhill should be less tiring, right?" he says and receives a smile from Luhan, who wraps an arm around his shoulders and does the same with Kyungsoo with the other, pulling them both close. 

"If you get tired, we will help you." 

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo both smile, both embarrassed, but for different reasons.

 

The path to the lake is shaded and fresh thanks to all the trees around, and it is enjoyable and surprisingly short. 

 

Chanyeol and Sehun immediately take their clothes off as they reach the shore, yelling at each other and falling into a fight to decide who should throw the other inside the water first, eventually falling together. 

 

"Are you guys insane?" Kyungsoo shakes his head from his safe position a few meters back "It's April, that must be freaking cold."

"It is." Chanyeol says, teeth crazily shaking "But it's so cool!"

"Chanyeol-hyung, I think I'm gonna hibernate." Sehun comments then, shaking in front of his boyfriend's eyes like a wet puppy. Chanyeol laughs the celestial vision of Sehun's glowing body off and takes the smaller boy in his arms, yelling a joyful "I shall not let this happen!" before hugging him so tight to warm him up.

 

"Oh God, this is too much." Baekhyun scoffs then, exchanging a look with Kyungsoo. 

Luhan snorts at them, smiling then at the two boys in the water. "They are the most beautiful thing ever."

 

Kyungsoo observes Luhan's expression, the melancholy in his eyes making him instinctively uncomfortable. Baekhyun notices it too and exchanges a look with him once again, smiling reassuringly. Few minutes later the two friends mange to throw Luhan in the cold water as well, fully clothed, and not much later they are there themselves for gentle concession of Sehun, who immediately gives Luhan a hand to take his revenge. 

 

"This is so ing insane!" Kyungsoo yells at that point, freezing.

 

Suddenly, Luhan hurries to take him inside his arms in a weak attempt to warm him up with his body. Kyungsoo immediately freezes, his entire body going on fire as he rests his back on Luhan's front.

"Don't act like an upset mother, hyung." Sehun protests, giggling "You played, too."

 

Kyungsoo says nothing and just stays into Luhan's arms, in the water, the older arms pulling him tight against his body. He suddenly feels so hot he could as well have a fever.

 

"Seriously, though." Baekhyun says then, grinning widely at the sight of Kyungsoo's face "We'll fall ill only to reach the tents with these wet clothes on."

"It was worth it." Luhan comments, holding Kyungsoo even more and Kyungsoo decides he can't decide if he agrees or not, with Luhan moving slow and shooting against him.

 

When they get out of water, everything around them is so cold that not even the bright sun help their trembling bodies, and Kyungsoo feels grateful he has had a chance to recover from the unexplainable heat he was feeling at Luhan's touches. 

 

Luhan, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun have to run to the tents to change into dry clothes, and leave Sehun and Chanyeol behind, also letting the two have a bit of intimacy. 

 

Luhan and Kyungsoo try to create a little fire once they are done, while Baekhyun uses the electric cooker to warm up some water for a tea. Ten minutes and more of arguing on how to create a fire properly, they manage to create one and Luhan quickly puts collected wooden on it not to let it extinguish. 

 

Kyungsoo sets things down for dinner soon after, sending a glare to Baekhyun and Luhan when they try to open the marshmallow bag before a proper meal, and the two quickly put the plastic bag away. 

 

As soon as Sehun and Chanyeol come back from the lake, two content smiles on their apparently disinterested faces, they all start eating around the now big fire. Luhan tugs Baekhyun's arm continuously as all the food slowly disappears from their plates and Kyungsoo eyes the two hopelessly, simply throwing them the marshmallow bag out of patience at one point. The looks on their faces become amusing, and he finds it hard to believe Luhan is sixteen years older than them at the sight.

 

Chanyeol then takes his guitar out from his tent and he sings a little duet with Kyungsoo, precisely, a serenade to Sehun for his birthday. Luhan stares in awe, moving his head along to the romantic rhythm while devouring a ridiculous amount of marshmallows with Baekhyun while Sehun, cheeks on fire, hides everything of his face except from his eyes with the collar of his jacket. 

 

Chanyeol smiles widely to Sehun once he is done, and Sehun hurries to hide his face in the crook of his neck. "Lovely," the younger comments while Kyungsoo snorts and goes back playing with fire "But why did you sing the main part? It should have been Kyungsoo-hyung."

"Ah, really, you Sehun." Chanyeol says and pretends to bite his boyfriend's neck in revenge.

 

Luhan chuckles, eating marshmallows until Kyungsoo throws one onto his face, claiming to be protesting for his stomach.

 

They celebrate Luhan and Sehun's birthdays with a little cake Chanyeol has bought before leaving the city, chocolate flavored as both Luhan and Sehun like. 

 

"Just, I'm such a granny." Luhan says sadly after the three boys have sung their birthday song for Sehun and him "Sehun is turning seventeen, I'm turning 34."

The memories of his seventeen's birthday hits him hard at the sight of Sehun's content smile as he stays in his boyfriend's arms happily. 

"Then what?" Baekhyun waves him off "You know you're still hotter than any other man I've ever seen."

Luhan blushes, smiling a little smile and then hurrying to eat a slice of cake. Kyungsoo poses a soft hand on his back then, making Luhan snap his head up, but doesn't look at him. 

 

Luhan observes his stiff features, feeling vulnerable. He knows Kyungsoo, just as usual, has understood his deepest thought, and the realization makes him shiver internally.

 

The night flies around the big fire, singing songs and telling stories. Luhan tells the young boys stories of his life back in England, some hilarious, some not that much, and then smiley hears the boys telling their own, stories of their friendship. He sees Kyungsoo and Baekhyun looking into each other's eyes as they speak of their past, all the great memories they have started sharing in kindergarten, with eyes full of love and care, and feels content just being able to see something so precious from outside.

 

"Do you remember your reaction when Chanyeol told us about Sehun?" Baekhyun asks at one point, already laughing by himself, soon joined by Chaneyol and Sehun. Kyungsoo snorts, but smiles. He turns to a curious Luhan and shrugs.

"I blanked out, literally."

"He stayed with his big eyes-they were even bigger back then- staring at the sky above Chanyeol's head like he had just seen an ufo." Baekhyun explains, making Luhan smile amusedly.

"I thought he had just passed out." Chanyeol confesses "And then suddenly, without even stopping looking at the goddamned sky, he said-"

"Dating a kid.. is it really okay?" Sehun completes for him "And when Chanyeol-hyung was about to protest, he said 'The kid being you'."

 

Luhan bursts out laughing then, just like everyone else, and Kyungsoo just laughs embarrassedly at the memory, sending Chanyeol a big apologetic smile.

 

"How old were you guys back then?" Luhan asks out of curiosity.

"I was about to turn fifteen, Sehun was thirteen."

Luhan can't help but gasp, widening his eyes and finding himself unable to say anything else. 

 

"Yeah, Chanyeol was ugly and half-way between being a chubby kid and teenager who wanted to grow-up tall too fast," Baekhyun says "And his hair was horrendous. The positive thing was that his ears were less visible thanks to his chubby face. Sehun has always been gorgeous."

Sehun flips his hair at that, knowing, and Chanyeol sends him an offended look at the lack of support. 

 

Luhan laughs softly, looking at the two boyfriends and wondering how it must have felt, through the years, to grow up loving each other almost effortlessly. He can't help thinking of when he first moved to Korea, at thirteen, and met Jongin for the first time. Luhan had always been sure they had fallen in love at first sight, both of them but, contrarily to Sehun and Chanyeol, they never got together,  dated or shared anything if not a shaking kiss in their late sixteen and secret hugs all through their painful friendship. 

 

The only thing giving Luhan a reason to get over those unremovable, precious and painful memories, during the years, had been the thought that they had been so unlucky simply because it was not meant to be.  

 

He rethinks of Jongin in his apartment and shivers, imposing himself not to let such thoughts take on his mind on such a happy moment. He feels a hand sliding on his arm then, seeking for his own, and takes it without even looking.

 

Kyungsoo holds him until they all leave for the night.

 

After the small fragment of time in which Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and him settle down in their sleeping bags, messily moving in the little space of the tent and practically having to fit like in Tetris, Luhan finds himself surprised by how easily he finds Kyungsoo's hand again and holds it, a little smile slipping out his lips. 

 

"Goodnight." Kyungsoo says, glad everyone is just oblivious to the red on his cheeks, being almost fully immersed into his sleeping bag. 

"Goodnight." Luhan answers, and turns the light of the tent off. 

 

After a little moment of silence, Baekhyun sighs.

 

"They are having . I can almost feel they are."

Kyungsoo instinctively tightens the hold on Luhan's hand, burning in embarrassment.

 

"Baekhyun," Luhan calls "Sleep."

"Yes, hyung." 

 

Kyungsoo finds his fingers still interlaced with Luhan's ones when he wakes up, the morning after, and can't help wondering if he'll ever be able to let them go.