flashback

inner thought

SNS/twitter post

“Whoa…he’s so handsome. How can a person this handsome? Isn’t it a crime to be this handsome?”

“What are you doing?” asked Chaerin with her bored expression. “ Eonni..you are not fangirling over that Kim Woobin, right? This drama is , you know that!”

“Ara..I watched this because of Woobin oppa, I don’t care about the storyline.. Heol! He’s freaking handsome! Omaigad omaigad…!!”

“Whatever eonni.. Just keep your voice down, I’m going to sleep. Good night Bom eonni..”

“Mmm…” sigh…my plan on moving on from this fangirl world wasted.. I can’t escape from Woobin persona..aigoo..

Chaerin already gone to her own bedroom. We’re college students, second year, we took economic major in the same campus. Since, we’ve been friends since high school we decided to rent an apartment for two of us, nice but affordable since we share the rent in half. The place is nice, with two bedrooms, a shared bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. It took 15 minutes walks to our campus.

I look at the clock in my laptop. 02.00 AM. It’s been years I got insomnia. I can’t sleep until it past three in the morning, and always wake up at six. I tried every way I know to overcome this sickness, I look like panda, but it failed. At least I tried.

“Chaerin-ah…you asleep already?” she’s not answering, I guess she’s. Well know I have time for me to watch Woobin oppa’s drama without her nagging.

30 minutes later, I found myself looking at my laptop’s screen. Bored. There’s no Woobin scene this past 20 minutes. I took my phone, check my twitter account. Scrolling down my timeline, looking for something interesting. Super Junior, BBC, G Dragon, WWF, Minzy, Teddy oppa, some news, people from college…

“Oh? He post something…”

@choiseunghyun : It’s a sign for me not to hurt anybody anymore, or a sign that you will be my last

02.38 AM

Must be for his girlfriend…pfft...what a pleasant post to read.

It’s Choi Seunghyun, my high school crush since 4 years ago. Or should I say, my first love? Who knows? since I don’t even know what love is, or feels like. He’s in the other side of Korea. I stayed at Seoul for almost 2 years now, and he stayed at Jeju at the same time I decide to have a college life here in Seoul. We are-or were-best friend. Maybe some saying is true, it is impossible for two with different gender stay friends with no feeling attached. Well, maybe for us-or me to be specific. Since we lived far away from each other, it’s natural for us drift apart. Since the day we said goodbye to each other, I never speak to him. Not even when we met a year ago in high school party. Just a simple ‘hi’ through twitter or SNS once in a awhile.

I decided to post something.

@haroobom : How ironic, we met again. I miss you, I hope you know that.

02. 45 AM

Being far away with each other doesn’t mean I moved on, just like how my attempt to quit my fangirl act over kpop boyband or actor-they are too handsome to be ignored-, it failed miserably. I know it’s impossible for him to know that it is my message for him, nobody know my feeling towards him. No one except this special someone called Kang Daesung-if he remember what I told him 3 years ago-, a close friend for both of us, me and Seunghyun. He probably doesn’t know my current feeling, it’s been 3 years anyway. He probably think I have move on, loving someone else. I still remember what he told me right after I told him that I have feeling for Seunghyun.

“You love him, Bom-ah. You better tell him how’s your feeling, or forget him before you hurt yourself.”

I decided to do the latter. I have no courage to tell him. He’s famous for being a cassanova. He looks fine, handsome for some extend, being his best friends I know the best what makes girls love him. It’s not his good looks or money –well, those two are bonuses- he knows the best what girls craved for their man or boyfriend. He can be a gentleman, or a bad boy, based on what the girl he wants to be his girlfriend preference. His line of girlfriends always have this, beauty. Something I do not have. Shin Minah, Sandara, Im Yoona, Tiffany, Hwang Bora, Park Gyuri, Ahn Sohee, Jaekyung, Nicole, Yubin, Hyosung, all his ex are pretty, have a nice body, and nice. Sometime I feel really bad for hating them, it’s my own fault if he never know my feeling. It’s my own fault if my chubby body and average looks prevent me for confessing to him.

"MWO????" I almost choked from my drink.

Seunghyun and I are having luch in canteen, when he told me he broke up with his last girlfriend. Im Yoona.

"Haish..this woman. I'm not deaf you know," he shrugged 

"YA! Choi Seunghyun! Mworago?" this boy will be the death of me

"Bommie-yaa..calm down. It's not even my first time break up with my girlfriend.."

"And you do understand that this is your third break up in this past two months. Am I right, your majesty?"

"Hehehe..mian. They are no fun.." he said while pouting

"Don't you dare pouting at me!! Aigoo..how am I supposed to do if I meet them?" I facepalmed. "They are going to haunt me, you know. Ask me why you break up with her.." *sigh*

"And you will tell them the truth, she's no fun. Always so clingy towards me.."

I just give him a what-the-f look

"Or..you will make another sweet and not-so-cruel reason for me to break up with her." he said while looking at me with his not-so puppy eyes.

"Again. This is the nnth time, you know that?" I really don't know how to decline his wish.

"Assa!! You are really the bestest friend ever!!"

One thing about him, he’s very protective towards girls around him –mom, sister, friends- me included. Maybe that is why I fall for him. His protectiveness, his childish act he rarely shown. Just a few close friend around him.

" Hyung, how's Bora? You are really something, she never accept anybody's confession except yours, you know that?" asked Lee Seungri, one of our close friemd im awe. We are currently having a night out in a cafe downtown. Me, Seunghyun, Seungri, and Daesung.

"Ne, hyung..she's hard to get. Not some typical woman around you," said Daesung while munching his dinner.

"I am not easy to get.."

"Bom noona..you know that already, we are talking about hyung's girls. You are different, you are his bestest friend," Seungri said a bit annoyed, stating the fact.

"All girls are the same. Let me tell you guys some secret to get all girls you wanted," and here we go..another hours about 'how to get a girlfriend' lesson from Choi Seunghyun.

"Be a gentleman, she'll fall for you. Be a bad boy, she'll crave for you attention," Seunghyun said with serious face, while the other two watch him like he's some dating God or something.

"Guys..you were not forget that I am still a girl right? Don't you scared that I will spread your secret?"

"This is for you too, Bommie.. Don't ever believe us, as boys. We, boys, are sly like that." Seunghyun switch his attention towards me. "Men are all the same. Be careful. Don't easyly fall for boys, especially the one like me."

Another, flashback. Another deep breath. Sigh. I decide to read all tweet he posted in this past few days. Another new entry.

@choiseunghyun : @eunhyeyoon baby, sleep already? It’s the nnth time you choose sleep over me *pouting*

03.09 AM

Another post from him, for his new girlfriend. Yoon Eunhye. I never met her in person, but I have see her SNS profile. A beauty. The date for almost a year now. Maybe she’s the one who can tame your ex-best friend. Good for him, and her.

Sigh…you used to make those face to me when I decline your request, or to prevent me to stay mad at you when you broke up with your girlfriend just because you feel bored

Suddenly, I feel the urge to meet him. I miss him, so much it hurts. I miss his hugs, his goofy smile, his pout, his stupid-crazy idea when we bored, his laugh when he tell a joke-which is for people around him is not funny-…everything about him. I miss our time together as friends.  I won’t let the awkwardness –my awkwardness– after I found out my feeling over him break our friendship.

It’s your time Park Bom, it’s time for you to fix your mistake. Fighting!!

A few deep breath later, I decide to end this awkwardness.

03.17 AM. It’s time for me to sleep. Let the time decide what will happen between us. I see my phone beeped before I close my eyes, embrace the darkness.

Tweet sent

@Haroobom : @choiseunghyun you’re not asleep? Whassup buddy, long time no see. How’s life? Miss you ^^v kekeke

03.15 AM

finnaly it's done.

Thanks for reading :)

Should I mark this as complete or make this story as multishot?