wIt has been two months since he went away, and it has been the most miserable time of my life. I had gotten used to being around him, even when we were fighting all the time and now when I hear his voice it’s only for no more than five minutes and it was all about work. Though he came back twice every two weeks, it was only to meet with the chairman and talk about confidential things that couldn’t be done over the internet or the phone and to sign some important papers. If he couldn’t make it, Mrs. Kim would bring the papers to him and would come back the next day. I asked a couple of times to go when Mrs. Kim was unavailable, but I got shut down ceremoniously every time. I don’t know why, but it was more stressful than I expected, I knew that I was going to miss him, but I didn’t know that it was at that point. It turned out that the farther he was away from me, the more I wanted to be with him. I always fantasized about being with him, but for the past two months, it was crazy how much I thought about him, it was like his presence pacified me. I was annoyed at myself, and especially after the way he treated me, I didn’t know why I was still so obsessed about him, he was very clear that he didn’t care about my presence around him. Though Ben said that it was a sign of trust, for him to leave me behind to attend his meetings to report back to him, and even make decisions in case of emergency, but still going there once wouldn't have killed anyone.  

I was complaining about my love sickness to Seojin, but she got annoyed about it, “Blah blah blah, you’re always doing that. You pushed them away then you go home and cry. Why don’t you do it right for once in your life?” I looked at her with wide eyes, was I so annoying? She ignored my face and continued, “You love him and he loves you, but you both are so similar, so stubborn, that you refuse to make each other happy. I am tired of all the whining, fights, and complaints. Why don’t one of you just pin the other down and make love to each other. It’s either that or move on.”  Ok what the heck was going on with everyone lately? It looked as if those two months I had been so out of it that I was complaining about Byunghee to whoever wanted to hear. But what was the matter with Seojin; usually she was the one forcing me to admit my feelings for him, but now why was she acting that way? I looked at her, my eyes still wide open and my mouth had joined the party, “OK. Who the hell are you and what did you do with my best friend?” She observed me for a little bit before smiling, “I haven’t seen you in what feels like an eternity, I have some news to give you, but all you do is complain about him. I don’t know why you can’t see what is so obvious to everybody.” 

She was right in one part, we haven’t been spending time with each other like we used to since we started working for the BLAQ brothers, especially lately that everyone was so busy. By the time I leave the house, she was still asleep and when she came home, I was already sleeping. It has been such a long time since we haven’t had some time to ourselves.  I looked at her with puppy eyes, “I am sorry unni, our schedule is so hectic that we can’t even have lunch together, let alone shopping.” Lately I had been hanging out with Ben a lot, even though he was as busy as everyone else, he would leave the office with me and would finish his work from home so I wouldn't be alone. I really enjoyed spending time with him, and I also got to listen to the new sound tracts that he created first hand. I was very grateful to him, because after all these years, I could always count on him; he was so thoughtful and so caring to me that I hated myself for falling out of love with him. Seojin slapped my arm to bring me back to reality, “So I was saying, I have something to tell you.” I looked at her and she was glowing, for a second I thought I might know what she wanted to tell me, and my smile grew wider, “Ok shoot. Though I think I have an idea about what it is.” She turned pink with happiness, “So you know I have been having these hard times in the mornings, so I went to the doctor to find out what was going on and I think…” I couldn’t hold it anymore and I started squealing and waving my arms around like a crazy bird, she grabbed my arms to get me to calm down, “Hold your horses, it is not confirmed yet, but I think that I might be pregnant.” I couldn’t hold it and started jumping around like a five year old, and chanting, “I’m gonna be an a-aunt, I’m gonna be an a-aunt, I’m gonna be an aunt!!!” She scolded me but was smiling delightfully, “Stop it, it may be a false alarm. And you better keep this a secret because I don’t want Seungho to know without being sure about it.” I understood her concern but I was too happy to care, “I’m gonna be an aunt.” I hugged her very tightly, “I love you Unni.” She hugged me back, “I love you too.”

For the rest of the week I was on cloud 9, I was so happy for Seojin. Everything was going right for her, she had a great boyfriend, his family was great and they loved her, and that was the most important thing. I was passing in front of Seungho’s office when he jumped out of nowhere and pulled me in. He was whispering and I joined him instinctively, “Why are we whispering”, I said confused by how he was acting, “Shhhh! Not here, let’s talk outside.” He grabbed his jacket, took my arm and pulled me after him. When we got in his car and he started driving, I turned toward him, “Boss, can we talk now?” He flashed me one of his great smiles, “Don’t call me Boss when we are not in the office, call me Oppa? I shot my eyes wide open, what was going on? Did Seojin tell him the news? I couldn’t ask him directly just in case she hadn’t told him anything yet, “Bo… Oppa what's going on? Is everything okay?” He looked at me again smiling, “I need your help with something.” He was being so mysterious and I was getting more confused, “You need my help? With what? Wouldn't your secretary or your assistant been able to help you better?” He was smiling again, when he replied, “No, you're the best candidate for this kind of help.” He was being mysterious on purpose and I stopped asking questions, because I wasn't going anywhere with this. He seemed very excited and I don’t think I have ever seen him in such good mood and smiling so much, but as much as I wanted to bug him about it, I let it go. We haven’t hang out in a long time and since we maintain a strict professional relationship in the company, I was surprised that he was still so comfortable around me, but I liked it and wasn't complaining about it at all.

When he pulled the car in front of a luxurious building, I was still wondering what had bitten him. I followed him into the elevator to the fifth floor quietly, the door opened to a big glowing sign ‘Changsung Jeweler’s’ I let out a loud gasp, now I understood everything, Seojin’s birthday was in three weeks and he probably wanted to get something for her. I walked in the store in awe, looking at the price tags, I would have fainted if I wasn't so scared of embarrassing myself. He turned toward me and said, “Now do you get why I brought you here?” I smiled. “Yeah, you want this to be a surprise, but still you could have gotten your secretary or your assistant to help you choose her birthday gift. Aren’t you worried that I would not be able to keep it to myself?” He shook his head and walked toward the counter where a saleswoman stood, and I followed him, “Where are the engagement rings?” He asked her, and I was befuddled. I thought that he was going to get her a necklace or a pair of earrings, but he was talking about engagement rings. I knew it was serious between them and that they obviously were crazy in love with each other, but getting married so soon, I don’t know how the chairman would react to that. It’s only been three months since they met, personally, I didn’t have an issue with that but did he know something about what Seojin told me? I was worried because, Seungho wasn't one to do things lightly and impulsively, so he must already know about the baby then.

He guided me to a stand where a bunch of beautiful diamond rings were on display, he took one, took my hand and slid it in my ring finger. I gasped at the weight of the jewel and he laughed, “So what do you think, is this Seojin’s style?” I was admiring the piece of art, even though it was beautiful, it didn’t scream Seojin, she was too peppy and too alive to wear something so extravagant. I looked around and walked toward another stand, there it was a 14k white gold ring that rises and twists up to hold a thick 2 carat square shaped diamond in the middle with 50 white 1ct diamonds on each flank. That was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and it looked like it was made for her.  From the look in his face, it was obvious that he thought so too. He went to the cashier to check it out and I stood there still mesmerized by all the beautiful and scintillating brightness that surrounded me when eyes fell upon it. It was a 10-carat white gold ring with nine halt carat diamonds on top, which formed a flower blossom that laid over twenty-seven smaller one encrusted on three crisscross lanes making a vine on top of which the flower laid. It was smaller and simpler than what we chose for Seojin but I felt it call on me, I walked to the stand, picked it up and slid it into my finger, I felt my heart pounding, that’s how much I loved the ring but I sighed of sadness because it was only wishful thinking. Seungho joined me and smiled, “It looks good on you, it’s like it was made for you.” I smiled sadly, “Too bad this is the first and last time I’ll ever wear it though. Since I don’t think I will ever get married.” I said to myself. I felt bad for my mom because I will probably never be able to fulfill her dream for me. I took the ring off and put it back on the display and left the store followed by Seungho. When we got into the car, I asked Seungho about something that was bothering me a little, “Did you ask Ben for Unni’s hand, Oppa?” He smiled in delight, “Of course I did, and I would have never ventured myself without confirming it first. I even asked her dad already.” I didn’t know why but at this comment, I felt my chest tightened, Seungho was a gentleman in all the sense of the word and for a second I felt a little bit jealous of their luck in finding each other. Love was supposed to be as beautiful as theirs and I ached be able to feel this way also. But I loved Seojin so much, that I couldn’t let my failures dampen her happiness.

The rest of the week when on as expected but I was so excited for Seojin that I forgot all my issues, even my jealousy of wanting to feel her happiness, but I could not wait to share her joy with her. I kept telling myself that I was too old to be having and unrequited love subject which made me unable to focus on my work. I rather not start anything with anyone than have my heart broken a second time. I have been getting lost in my thoughts a lot lately, though I justified myself with the excuse that it was all work related, I think all that was left was to throw myself a pity party and get myself drunk enough to lose my inhibitions and walk up to Byunghee to let him know how I felt about him. I laughed internally at that thought, ‘Like I didn’t try that before.’

I was lost in my thoughts when the phone rang. It wasn't the interphone, I guessed that Mrs. Kim wasn't at her desk, so I took my professional tone to answer, “Hello, this is Mr. Jung’s office, how may I help you?”  The voice sounded rushed, so it took me a little while to make it out, “Han Jinju-ssi, I am going to be in need of your services tomorrow. You will receive a package in about an hour and I want you to get them to me tomorrow as fast as possible.” I was so surprised that my heart started skipping beats, “Uhm! Boss isn’t Mrs. Kim the one who usually…” He didn’t let me finish and cut me off, “I don’t have time for this right now, everything is taken care of, and your flight leaves at 2 O’clock. Be there and that’s an order.” Then he hung up. ‘Was that really happening?’ I called Seojin to let her know what was going on, she did not hesitate twice to tell me, “Go on girl, this is a great opportunity for you and don’t mess it up. You will not find a better time to seduce him, so don’t pass that up, ok.” I smiled in agreement with her but as soon as I hung up, I started feeling mixed emotions, I was scared and excited at the same time, that was my last chance to make him see me in another light, and I definitely didn’t want to pass it up.

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I hope you are not bored with the story because the tables are about to turn. So stay tuned ^_^  >>