Yoongi sits on the chair in Hoseoks kitchen. In his hands he has a cup of green tea with some honey in it. His boyfriend sits next to him and sighs up. “We should tell it your parents”, the taller one says and look at him. But Yoongi shakes his head. “I can’t do this”, he says “I can’t tell my parents I’m going to die soon”. Hoseok bites his lower lip. The way Yoongi says it… It hurts him somehow. Also the fact that it’s true, that he’s going to die. “But…Yoongi, they need to know about this”, Hoseok reminds him but this one shakes his head and drinks another sip of his tea. “I can’t do this”, he says and then stands up. He looks down at his boyfriend who raises an eyebrow. “Should we take a shower together?”, Yoongi asks then and slowly caresses Hoseoks shoulder who nods then slowly. “Yes”, he says and stands up. He puts his arm around Yoongi and kisses him on the temple. He didn’t want to be sad now and tell Yoongi what to do. Yoongi is really stubborn and wouldn’t change his mind soon - it doesn’t matter what Hoseok would say.

About an hour later Yoongi sits on Hoseoks bed and watches his boyfriend put on his hoodie. He smiles a bit at him before he leans back and looks up the ceiling. “Do you want to do something today?”, he asks and close his eyes. He hears the light chuckle of his boyfriend who walks up to him and kneels down next to his bed. Yoongi turns his head to the side and open his eyes again. He looks into the deep and brown eyes of Hoseok and smiles a bit. “Where is your list?”, Hoseok asks and looks around. Yoongi sits up and grabs the piece of paper before he hands this the taller one. Hoseok takes it and look at this list. He read through the lines and nods a bit. “What do you want to do? Any wishes?”, he asks without looking up. Yoongi looks at his boyfriend a bit and bites his lower lip. It was Saturday so most of the shops in town where closed and also the weather wasn’t the best today. It stops snowing but it was still cold. Tomorrow the sun should start so shine again and it starts getting warmer slowly. But Yoongi knows the warmer it gets, the less time he will have.

“Yah, Yoongi do you listen?”, Hoseok asks and leans forward. He looks him deep into his eyes and then starts to grin. The smaller one raises an eyebrow. “Yes…”, he says slowly. But Hoseok just smiles and puts an arm around Yoongis neck and pull him closer. Carefully he places his lips on Yoongis soft ones and starts to kiss him slowly. It was more a shy kiss but full of love. Then Hoseok slowly stands up and help Yoongi also to stand up. “Put your hand on my side Yoongi…”, he says to him but this one looks at him puzzled. “Why?”, he ask and wants to take a step back but Hoseok grabs his hand and place it on his side. The other one puts in his hand. “I teach you how to dance”, Hoseok whispers and kiss him quickly. “To dance? But…ah Hoseok!”, the smaller one squeals as Hoseok starts to dance. The taller one was a good dancer, the best Yoongi knew. Also he enjoys that they are so close in this moment. Yoongi leans more on Hoseok who starts to dance with him through the room. He presses the smaller body against his own and couldn’t resist placing some kisses on Yoongis pale cheek. This one tries to follows the steps of Hoseok. “I love this”, he mumbles as Hoseok places his hands around Yoongis waist. This one puts his arms around his neck and smiles a bit. Now they are dancing more slowly and this helps Yoongi to calm down. The taller one also enjoys being so close to the other one… he never want to miss this. But in a few months the person in his arms will be dead. It will never be the same as today.

“When did you want to tell us that? Yoongi? I’m talking to you!”, Yoongis father follows his son up into the room of his youngest son. Yoongi came home from Hoseok right then when his parents get the call from his doctor and he tells his parents about the newest diagnostic. Now his mother sits in the kitchen and cries her eyes out. Yoongi just rush up into his room. He didn’t want to see his mother cry. He doesn’t want to hear her sobs and the look on her face. It hurts Yoongi so much seeing beloved mother like that. It was painful enough to leave Hoseoks house today. The both spend the day learning some dances and later the two starting to fold some paper cranes. While this the two talk a lot and also cuddle a lot during this. Somehow it seems like a normal day Hoseok and Yoongi spend together but Yoongi tries to remember everything and burie this deep into his heart. The way Hoseok laughs shakes his head a bit and looks at him with this light in his eyes. How his hands carefully fold the paper as he is afraid that it would break if he fold it to hard. The way he speaks when he tells Yoongi something interesting or something what he really likes… the way he smells, how his hand feels on his cheek and how it feels to kiss him. He don’t want to forget that… he want to remember that. He wants to remember how it feels to be loved.

“Yoongi! Talk to me now!”, his father screams as he enters the room. Won Bae close the door behinds him and watch his son who sits down on the chair. Now there where silence in the room. Yoongi only can hear the heavy breath of his father who tries to calm down. Breath… don’t forget how to breathe… Yoongi close his eyes and took a deep breath and keep the air in his lungs. He tries to hold the air in as long as he can. A bit he blinks at his father who looks at him with wide eyes before he walks over to Yoongi and shakes him a bit. “Breath… Yoongi, breath”, he nearly begs his son and this gasps for air. He starts to breath normal again. “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me? To your mother, your brother? To us?”, his father asks and kneels down in front of the pale boy. This looks down at his father and shrugs his shoulders.

“I don’t know… how would you tell your parents you are going to die soon?”.

Again there was silence. His father sighs and shakes his head. He use to Yoongis blunt and sometimes hurtful personality. The doctor says this would be normal that he acts like that. He didn’t want that his parents miss him too much later. Before Yoongi gets the diagnosis he was blunt but it gets worse afterwards. When he was with his parents. As soon as Hoseok was there Yoongi always calms down and starts being nice. Hoseok always has a positive effect on him.

“Don’t say that… Yoongi please”, Won Bae whispers and then slowly stands up. But the pale boy just shakes his head. “It’s the true, we all have to accept that”, he says but then he hears his cellphone rings. Hastily he grabs it and starts to smile as he sees who is calling him. “It’s Hoseok… I going to talk to him now, please leave the room”, Yoongi tells his father before he accept the call “Hey my love”.

Dear Hoseok,

We have telephone a few seconds ago. You are going to sleep now and I hope you will have a good dream. That you will dream about the beautiful things in life. Please still have such dreams now and maybe dream of me? Hehe :) Don’t worry my love, I will visit you every night in your dreams so that we can be together. Don’t think I would you ever leave alone! I love you a way too much for that.

And I love to talk to you before I fall asleep. Your voice is always more deep when you’re get tired. I love that. And I love to cuddle with you, it’s always so warm and comfortable. I hate it to sleep in my bed alone. It’s empty and I can’t really fall asleep. That’s why I always wear your shirt when I’m going to sleep. So I can feel you a bit close to me and when I close my eyes I always imagine that you just downstairs to drink a bit or just in the bathroom to wash your face.

So, I hope you sleep well. I can’t wait until tomorrow and you are here…

I love you.

Yoongi.