“Hoseok?”.

“Mhmm?”.

“Can I ask you something?”.

“Mhm”.

The taller one nods while he folds another paper crane and smiles a bit. Then he looks at his pale boyfriend who sits there and looks at his hands. He seems to be a bit unsure about his question. Hoseok put his crane away and smiles at him. “Ask me already Yoongi, I think the most important question I have ask you already”, he says and causes Yoongi to laugh. The smaller one hesitates a moment before he took a deep breath. “I want that you stay with me… I want that you live here”, Yoongi says and Hoseoks eyes grew bigger. “You…you want what?”, he asks then and lean closer to his boyfriend. This one nods a bit. “I want that you stay here, I want to live here with you, please Hoseok”, Yoongi almost beg him “Please I’m… I’m afraid that we… won’t have enough time”. The last words he said a bit more quietly but Hoseok heard them. He looks at Yoongi and grabs his hand. “D…Do you feel… bad? Does your heart hurt? Yoongi…”, Hoseok says and pull the pale boy closer to him. Yoongi himself clings into the shirt of the taller one and nuzzles his face in the crook of his neck. “Please Hoseok… please stay with me here…”, he whispers and the black-haired boy nods immediately. He presses a kiss on his forehead and smiles weakly at him. “I will go home and put my things together”, he says and stands up. But Yoongi follows him and grabs his hand. “I help you”, he says and squeezes his hand. Hoseok looks at him for a moment before he nods then “Okay, let’s go”. Then he leads him out of the room and walk downstairs with Yoongi.

Later that evening the two finally finished everything. When the two boys went over to Hoseoks place the taller one talks to his parents. It took his parents a few moments until they accept his decision. The way Hoseok talk and look at them… also Yoongi looks so pale the past days, more than usual. The packed Hoseoks things before they went over to Yoongi again where they unpack all the things. Now Yoongi feels more comfortable in his room. It’s filled with Hoseoks things and the pale boy enjoys this.

He grabs his pills and takes two of them while Hoseok put all the folded paper cranes together. Yoongi looks at him before he stands up and crawls on the back of Hoseok. This one winces a bit and raises his head. “What are you doing?”, he asks him and laughs a bit. But Yoongi snuggles more against his boyfriend und put his small arms around him. “I want to be close to you”, Yoongi mumbles and Hoseok smiles a bit more. “Can you sit on my lap… I have the feeling that you are closer to me then”, he says and Yoongi nods. He changes his place and sit down on Hoseoks lap. The taller one places his arms around Yoongis side and pulls him closer himself. He places a kiss on his cheek and smiles a bit. “I love it to have you on my lap and to cuddle with you”, he says and Yoongi puts his arms around Hoseoks neck. He lean his forehead against Hoseoks and closes his eyes. Softly Yoongi through his hair and cuddles more with Hoseok. “I also love that”, he says and kiss Hoseok softly.

The kiss was sweet, soft yet gentle. And both just enjoy the kiss and how close they are in this moment. It seems like the world around the two stops and nothing could touch and hurt them. Hoseok presses the small body against his, he feels his heartbeat, he feels how he breath and he taste him. The taller one feels how Yoongi presses himself more against him, how his small arms pull him closer to him. He on his tongue and let out a soft groan. After some time the two break the kiss and Hoseok looks into the warm eyes of Yoongi. This one his lips and smiles softly. He looks so perfect in Hoseoks eyes – his flawless, pale skin, his deep brown eyes and his soft lips. His nose which fits perfect in his face… and his cute smile. Often when Hoseoks says his smile was cute the smaller one tries to hide it, he didn’t like it to be called cute. But he gets used to it and only Hoseok was allows calling him cute. Again Hoseok places his lips on Yoongis again and kiss the smaller boy again. While he is kissing him he puts his arms around Yoongi and carefully lifts him up while Hoseok stands up. The pale boy through his hair and on his lower lip. The taller one carries Yoongi to the bed and lays him down there; here he also breaks the kiss. Hoseok bends over the pale boy and caresses his cheek. A moment the two just look at each other – admiring each other. “You look so pretty… just like an angel”, Hoseoks whispers and kiss the pale boy again. One hand caresses his side while he kisses his soft lips. “But Hoseok”, the pale boy mumbles “You are the angle, you behave like one and you also look like o-“. But Hoseok presses his lips against Yoongi and grins a bit. “Stop that Yoongi or I have to spank you”, he says and Yoongi laughs a bit. “Oh, you would?”, he asks him and Hoseoks grins a bit. He grabs Yoongis and squeezes it and the smaller one let out a soft moan before Hoseok kisses him again.

“You did what? Yoongi, you can’t decide this one your own”.

Mrs Min follows her son through the kitchen. This one wears his shorts and a shirt of Hoseok – his hair was messy and his lips were still red and also he has a hicky on his neck. He didn’t care if his mother knows that he had with Hoseok about an hour ago. Also his mother was more shocked by the fact that her son decided that Hoseok lives with him. She likes Hoseok and it was a good feeling for her to know when something would happens Hoseok would be there. But she gets annoyed when Yoongi decides something like this without talking to her. “You …Yoongi, listen to me”, she says while the pale boy grabs two glasses and look at her. He raises an eyebrow and let out a sigh. “Mum… I need him… I need him to stay with me. I have the feeling that… when he is not with me my heart hurts more and also that I can’t really breathe or sleep… When Hoseok isn’t there I don’t even want to get up”, Yoongi says and his mother just look at him. It was the first time Yoongi tells her something like that. “Yoongi… you…”, she starts but he just smiles a bit. “Please let him stay here”, Yoongi says and his mother smiles a bit. She hands her son a bottle of juice and just nods. The pale boy smiles a bit before he went upstairs into his room.

Hoseok still lays in his bed, sleeping and the blanket covers his body up to his hips and Yoongi can see his beautiful and . Yoongi put the glasses aside and also the bottle. Slowly he crawls into the bed, behind Hoseok. A moment he just look at him before he bends down and places some soft kisses on Hoseoks back and shoulder. Slowly he caresses his arm and smiles a bit. He loves Hoseoks arms – they are strong and he can hold Yoongi tight. Then he feels so safe. Hoseok blinks a bit and slowly wakes up. The taller one yawns a bit before he opens his eyes. He starts to smile a bit more when he felt what Yoongi is doing. “Ah Yoongi, you want a third round?”, he asks him and turns around so that he lays on his back. He looks up to the pale boy who smiles at him. “Maybe later”, he says and kisses Hoseok again. Then he grabs his hand and interlocks their fingers. “Do you want to drink something? Or do you want to eat something? First I wanted to cook something but my mother enters the kitchen and…yeah”, Yoongi shrugs his shoulders and look at him. Hoseoks nods a bit then. “It’s okay, we can eat something together”, he says but Yoongi shrugs his shoulders again. “I don’t really want to eat something, I’m not hungry”, he says and lays down next to his boyfriend. This one raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t eaten that much recently”, he says. “I’m not hungry… “, Yoongi mumbles before he turn his head to the taller one “Don’t look at me that sad…”. Hoseok laughs a bit and pulls Yoongi closer to him. “I’m not that sad… I just miss it to feed you a bit, you always look so cute then”. “Cute? Hoseok I’m NOT cute”, Yoongi says and hit Hoseok slightly on his side. This one just starts to laugh before he starts to tickle Yoongi.

“So… it’s okay when he also hears it?”, Yoongis doctor ask him and the pale boy nods a bit. “He will know it in the end, it doesn’t matter if he knows it yet or ten minutes later”, Yoongi says and shrugs his shoulders. He grabs Hoseoks hand to feel safer. Hoseok accompanies him to his doctor appointment. A few days ago Yoongi went with him and his mother to the hospital to do some tests and now his doctor has his results. This one clears his throat and looks through the papers. Then he looks at the pale boy.

“You aren’t that hungry the past days, aren’t you?”, he asks and Yoongi nods slowly. “Yes”. His doctor looks at him for a moment. “Do you take your pills every day?”, he then asks and Yoongi nods then again. “Okay…”, the doctor mumbles before he looks at the two with a serious expression on his face “The values of everything we had tested went down… You need to take the pills in the morning, afternoon and before you go to sleep. Also you need to eat a lot of fruits and fish… And be on the fresh air for at least half an hour, avoid stress and also sports”. Yoongi slowly nods and look down to the ground. Hoseok look at his boyfriend before he looks at the doctor. “And… you should think about going to the hospital… there is it safe if something will happen, the people there know how to treat you”, the doctor continues and Hoseok squeezes his hand. He knows what that means. He won’t have that much time with Yoongi anymore.

On their way home no one said a word until the two were sitting on their bed. Still their fingers were interlock with each other. Hoseok didn’t let go of his hand the whole time. “You should really think about that… I… I wouldn’t know what to do when something happen to you”, Hoseok mumbles. Yoongi smiles weakly and leans his head on his shoulder. “You know me better than anyone else. I trust you there you won’t do anything wrong”, he says and smiles a bit. “But…Yoongi…”, he begins but then the pale boy shakes his head and look at him. “Do you remember when decide your… stage name? You said you wanted to be called J-Hope because you are full of hope… so where is my hope?”, Yoongi says and kiss him softly. The taller one looks at him and raises an eyebrow. But then he smiles a bit. “I’m your hope Yoongi”, he mumbles and the older one start to laugh. He snuggles more on his boyfriend and close his eyes. “But… you don’t want to go to the hospital that soon?”, Hoseok says and Yoongi nods a bit. “I don’t want to waste my time there… we also didn’t finish the list”, Yoongi says and raise his head. Hoseok nods and grab the piece of paper from Yoongis bedside table “Let’s look what we can do next”.

Dear Hoseok

We went to the hospital today. I don’t want to go to the hospital that soon, it isn’t fair. We need to do so much more things. It’s sad that we don’t have so much time now. And now we need to do more things! Even my doctor said we shouldn’t do that, I don’t care. When I’m at the hospital I can’t do anything… I will just lay around there and nothing more. Maybe we can go to a park… but nothing more. And this is something I didn’t want. I want to spend as much time as I can with you. And not in the hospital with some nurses and doctors and people I don’t like.

I can’t wait for tomorrow… we also see the others again. I have missed them so much… And I will miss them so much. All of them. I’m so sorry that I don’t have more time with them… I also wanted to go to Jimin graduation – oh he would look so good in a suit. I would feel like a proud mother then…

I love you Hoseok

Yoongi

PS: You look hotter in a suit! Please wear one soon ♥

Nam Joon…

Please make sure that they won’t play any typical songs on my funeral. I don’t want that anyone dares to play ‘Tears in heaven’ or something like that. It’s a way to typical and I also don’t like this song. I hate it. You can choose the songs for my funeral. It could be a sad song… or some cool Hip-Hop song. You know what I like! Or maybe both of it. And even when Hoseok says he wants something else… Don’t listen to him. He is stupid sometimes. My stupid Hoseok.

And now you Nam Joon.

Thank you for staying by my side all these years. Thank you for being the best friend someone could imagine. I will never forget the nights we spent at the studio were you mix up some songs. I really miss those nights. And how you rap… How you put all your passion in your songs. Please never lose that, never. You will become an amazing musician, I’m sure about that. You are the most talented rapper I know… besides me, kekeke!

And also never lose Jin. He’s perfect for you and I know you will marry someday. Sometimes you see a couple and you know that they are made for each other. You and Jin are made for each other. Promise me to marry him some day! I wish I could be your best men then… Please take Hoseok instead.

And now, I have to say goodbye to you. Goodybe Nam Joon. And thank you for all the memories. I’m sorry that I couldn’t spend more time with you to produce songs. I wish I could have… Again I’m sorry for that. Thank you for the time you have spent with me that you get along with me I know I’m not the nicest person. But when I was with you… you had given me the feeling that I can do something when I really want it… You give me the power to never give up my dream.

Love

Yoongi

PS: I’m serious about you and Jin… I will haunt you when you lose him!