Slowly he opens the gate and enters the front garden. He looks up and sees the house he lives in. A bit he starts to smile and close the gate behind him. He knows Hoseok would be there and waiting for him. Maybe they will have a cup of green tea and watching some movie together. Or they are going to take a bath together. Yoongi smiles a bit as he walks down the way and he feels the cold stones under his bare foot. The pale boy looks down and raises an eyebrow. He is wearing a white pants and a white blouse… But he doesn’t wear any shoes. He can feel the cold stones, the surface of the stones… also some which prick in his skin. He can feel it but it didn’t really hurt. Slowly he looks aside and notice the light… it wasn’t a normal light… it was really bright. Yoongi shakes his head before he walks up the last few meters to the house. Somehow he know he don’t have to search for the key… he just can open the door. And this is what he does.

He enters the hallway and looks around. Even the house has a different light… again so bright. Also it smells different… it smells like vanilla… but it wasn’t a heavy smell, more like a natural scent. “Hoseok?”, he ask. It takes a few seconds before he hears someone walks down the stairs. The pale boy looks up and sees his boyfriend who smiles brightly at him. “Yoongi, I have waiting for so long for you”, he says and laughs a bit. Also Hoseok is wearing white pants and a white blouse. He grabs the small hand of his boyfriend and places a kiss on the back of his hand. “Were are the others?”, Yoongi asks him then and Hoseoks smiles again. Like always. “Your parents are at work… and your brother is at Jias apartment… so we are alone”, Hoseok says with a grin and take Yoongis hand into his and lead him up the stairs. “I have made some green tea for us and we are going to watch a movie… Howl’s Moving Castle - you like that movie, don’t you? I know you love it! And after this we are going to take a warm bath together”, Hoseok says as they walk up the stairs. But there was no room… there were light…. Only light and Yoongi follows Hoseok into the light…

“You should go home too mum… I can stay here”.

“But he’s my son… I want to be there when he wakes up… I need to take care of him!”.

“…”.

“Don’t look at me like that!”.

“You should really go home mum…”.

A chair pushes back and he hears some steps.

“Sang Chul he is awake!”.

Slowly Yoongi opens his eyes only to see the blurred version of the face of his mother. She looks down on him, all worried with dark circles under her eyes. “You look terrible”, Yoongi mumbles and close his eyes again. But he hears the soft laugh of his mother. Then he hears some other steps and he opens his eyes again. This time he can see not also his brother, he can see clearly. “Yoongi… finally”, his mother says and help her son so sit up. He looks around a bit in the room. There were flowers… and the room was with. Like in his dream. Was it a dream…? “Where’s Hoseok? I miss him”, Yoongi start to complain and coughs then. His brother hands him a glass of water and Yoongi drinks a bit of it. “He is at school… He didn’t want to leave your side so we need to force him to do that”, Sang Chul explains. “Hoseok is stupid”, Yoongi mumbles and puts the glass of water aside. “He really loves you”, his mother says softly and smiles a bit. “I love him too, we are a couple, that’s normal”, Yoongi says and close his eyes again. “I think you’re doing well when you act like this”, Sang Chul laughs a bit and also Yoongi does. The pale boy opens his eyes again and looks at the window again. The sun is shining, a good day to wake up. “Do you remember something?”, then Jae Hee ask her son carefully. This thinks a moment about it. He remembers that Hoseok and he take some photos… and then the guys… that’s all. He shakes his head. “You were aslepp for a about two days…”, his mother tells him and Yoongi sighs up. He wastes two days… two days… 48 hours…most of them he could have spent with Hoseok. He feels how the anger builds up in him. “Yoongi?”, his mother asks slowly and grabs the hand of her son. “When you go home… please bring me some things”, Yoongi says and look at her. “Whatever you want”, she says and stands up. “Please bring me this black pullover…something with cake stands on the back… under my bed is a notebook, this too and a pen…And don’t open this book!”, Yoongi starts to order the things he wants. “You didn’t own such a pullover”, his mother says slowly. “I know, it’s Hoseoks… bring me my Ipod and headphones… and my wire for my cellphone and something to read please”, Yoongi list his things. He knows that must stay in the hospital for a few days. “Okay… I will also bring you some other clothe”, his mother says and place a kiss on his forehead “I see you later… let’s take some rest Yoongi”. With that, she leaves the room. Now, Yoongi looks slowly at his brother. “Go to Jia”, he orders him. Sang Chul just laughs a bit and shakes his head. “You get bored Yoongi if I would go”, he says. But the pale boy shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t care… I want to annoy some of the nurse and call Hoseok later… and I want to sleep a bit. So you would be the one that get bored”, Yoongi says and laughs a bit. Sang Chul shakes his head and stands up. “Okay… but when something happened… call me”, he says and Yoongi shakes his head. “Never”. San Chul looks at him for a moment before he laughs a bit. Then he leaves the room. Immediately after Sang Chul left the room Yoongi grabs his cellphone and write his boyfriend a message.

'I’m alive – How about you my dear?'.

Then he puts his cellphone aside and closes his eyes. But after a few seconds he opens them again and looks at his hand. There were a bandage… also he then notices some pills on the desk besides his bed… also there were flowers. He feels a bit like he has already died. But then his cellphone starts to ring – Hoseok calls him. Hastily he grabs it and accepts the call. “Yoongi? Are you awake? Yoongi?”, he hears his boyfriend ask him out of breath. The pale boy laughs a bit then. “Yes, I’m pretty sure about this”, he answers. “Oh thanks god! I was so worried! How do you feel?”, Hoseok ask him, this time he lowers his voice. “Good… but lonely… where are you?”, Yoongi asks. “At school, I left the lessons when I saw your message, I’ve missed your voice so much”, Hoseok tells him. “Can you visit me later?”, Yoongi asks then carefully, almost afraid that Hoseok didn’t want to see him. “Sure! I can’t wait to see you… I miss you so much… I love you Yoongi! And I’m sorry for that what’s happened, I’m so sorry, I-“, Hoseok starts to mumble but Yoongi shuts him up. “Stop that Hoseok! I love you too and it’s not your fault… Don’t dare to say that again! When you say it I will lock the room so you can’t visit me”, Yoongi says. A moment there was silence but then Hoseok starts to laugh. “Ah that’s my little Yoongi”, he says and continues to laugh “But… I have to hang up… I will see you later”. “Okay… bye”, Yoongi say “Have fun at school”.

The next time Yoongi wakes up Hoseok is there. “Yoongi”, he says softly and squeeze his pale and small hand. The smaller one rubs his eyes and blinks at Hoseok. But he didn’t say anything, he just stand up and crawls on Hoseoks lap. This puts his arms around him, to hold him close. Slowly the taller one closes his eyes and buries his face in the crook of his neck. “You are wearing my shirt”, he says and laughs a bit. The pale boy laughs a bit. “Yes… I love it! It’s cozy and smells good”, Yoongi looks at his boyfriend and smiles a bit more. Jae Hee visit Yoongi before and brings him some of his clothe, the notebook and all the other things Yoongi wanted. “I’m sorry that I miss these two days with you”, Yoongi mumbles and sighs up. Hoseok looks at him and also let out a sigh. “I need to tell you something”, he says and lift Yoongi up to place him on the bed. The pale boy raises an eyebrow and look up at the other one. A moment there was silence.

“I… don’t go to school anymore”.

Yoongis eyes winded at this words. “W…What? Why this? Did you do something? Did they kick you out? What happened?”, he starts to bombard him with questions. “Ah, calm down Yoongi”, Hoseok says and place a kiss on his forehead. “But tell me what’s happened! Hoooseok~”, Yoongi starts to whine. “I decided that… when you lie here… asleep and I didn’t know when you will wake up… I decided that. I don’t want to waste my time at school! I want to spend my time with you and not with math”, Hoseok says and grabs the hands of Yoongi. This one looks at him and can’t believe what Hoseok tells him. “No…this… No, you can’t do this! I don’t want that you ruin your future because of me”, Yoongi says a bit louder. “But… but I want to spent…this month with you, I can go to school after that…”, Hoseok says slowly. “But it’s your future Hoseok!”, the smaller one reminds him. He lets his head sinks down and sighs up. Hoseok kneels down in front of his boyfriend so that he can look into his eyes. Slowly he interlocks they fingers. “Yoongi”, he begins softly. “I love you to death…. You are everything for me. And I want to spend my life with you, not with some math tasks our some chemical notation! I want to be there in the morning before you wake up and wait in the kitchen for you with some food… I want to spend the day with you and doing the most random things! I don’t care if we would cuddle the whole day in bed or we go to an amusement park. And I want to hold you in my arms when you fall asleep…”, Hoseok says softly and Yoongi hears that every word he says is true. “Please, let me stay by your side until the end”, he begs his boyfriend. This one looks at him and slowly his eyes get watery. And then Yoongi let out a light sob and buries his face in his hands. Hoseok just stand up and puts his arms around the small shaking body and hold him close. Yoongi never started to cry when Hoseok tells him how much he loves him… also Yoongi also know how to answer it, to give him the love back somehow. But this time it was different. Hoseok made Yoongi speechless for the first time and this says more than thousand words for Hoseok.

“Okay… okay… I let you stay by me”, Yoongi mumbles after he calms down a bit and Hoseok starts to grin. “Good boy”, he says and places a kiss on his forehead before he wipes away his tears. “Oh Yoongi, you look even so pretty when you cry”, Hoseok mumbles and chuckles a bit. For this comment Yoongi hits him slightly at his chest but then he also laughs a bit. “You are so stupid sometimes… but I love you”, Yoongi says and then he points at bag of snacks his mother also brings him. “Let’s eat some of them and later I want to go into the park of the hospital. I hate it to stay inside here, it’s so depressed”, Yoongi tells his boyfriend before he grabs the bag of snacks and opens it to feed Hoseok.

Dear Hoseok,

You are going to visit me in a few hours. I can’t wait to see you again after such long time. Don’t be so worried about me, please. I miss you so much. I know it sounds stupid, but I have the feeling I haven’t seen you for ages.

Do you know what, I dream of you! I dream that I come home and you were there… and you said you have wait for me… You and I wear white cloth… and then you take my hand and we went upstairs into the light. I didn’t feel any pain… It… feels comfortable. Because you were there and then I know I don’t have to be afraid. I know that you will be there until the end. Sometimes I didn’t want you to be by my side all that time. I don’t want to see you being so sad… I know that you are sad! Don’t ever lie to me. Hehe! I’m sorry Hoseok to cause you so much pain, I’m sorry.

When I can leave the hospital, let’s do some random things, yes? I want to order all the food at a café, I want to buy couple-shirts with you, eat breakfast in bed, sleep under the stars and make a wish on a shooting star.

Do you know what I would wish?

I would wish to marry you.

Yoongi.