KAI'S STORY * * *

Jongin was never good with emotions: dealing with them, understanding them, or expressing them. 
Rather, he was good at making jokes - and making everything less serious than they actually were - which wasn't necessarily a good thing...

Byul had understood all this very well.

But merely understanding hadn't been enough.
Because just like Jongin couldn't handle emotional situation, she hadn't been able to handle his situation. She had packed up and left to study abroad a year earlier than she had originally planned.

Just to get away from me, he thought with a sigh. 

He was sitting on his bed, looking out the window. There wasn't anyone walking around on a snowy day like today. Christmas was tomorrow - but he was dreading it. He hated this time of year. These December days weren't times of gathering and closeness like it was meant to be - it was a time of departures and loneliness. Christmas also meant his sister's anniversary was coming up, and it made him dread this holiday even more.

It wasn't every day he thought of Byul - but on lonely, bored days like this, the thought of her just came drifting back. It made him fidgety and he would always have to go look for something to preoccupy his mind.
He pulled out his phone, looking for Luhan's name. Ah, wait - he's working, he thought with a grumble.
Baekhyun?
As he traveled from Luhan's name to Baekhyun's, he passed by 'Byul' and his finger hovered over her name. 
Is she back yet? He couldn't help but wonder. It was about time her year abroad finished... Was she back in Korea?

첫눈 오눈 오후에 너에게
전화를 걸 수만 있다면 기쁠텐데
On the afternoon of the first snow
If I could just give you a call, I'd be so happy

It was times like this where he wished he wasn't alone. He wished his sister was here and that she hadn't been married off for to some CEO's son to create a merger with their family's company. She had always been the mother figure that his real mother couldn't fulfill - his mother had been absent and instead his sister had cared for him, and comforted him when he needed it. Like now. 

Her engagement had been the start of his misery.
His temper had always been a little too fiery, and being unable to take it out on his wealthy, workaholic parents, he had unknowingly put the stress on Byul. He hadn't realized it then, but almost every day had been filled with his complaints, his rants, and his tantrums. He vaguely recalled tipping over one of his tables in anger - and that wasn't even the worst of it.
She had been patient and caring at first - cleaning after whatever he broke, soothing him with comforting words, and staying with him when he didn't want to be alone. If he was hungry, she had snuck out of her house late at night to make him food because he didn't know how to cook.
And most importantly, she had been more than happy to do it. She loved being around him and she made sure to let him know that.

But she was only human... A normal person could only deal with a certain amount of demands and neediness.

Jongin sighed, falling back onto his bed, trying to shake the memories of her out of his mind. He put his phone to his ear as he rang up Baekhyun, asking if he was free to hang out.
'I can't; I'm busy - sorry,' came his friend's short reply.
He sighed again and texted Luhan, 'Hyung, let's play ball when you're done with work.' 

His phone buzzed after a few minutes with a reply that read, 'No can do - I have a Christmas Eve date~'
He rolled his eyes. Luhan had been rejected by Joohee just a few weeks ago... and now he had a date? Then again, Luhan had always been popular with the girls. 

His heart jumped in slight shock as his phone vibrated once more with another text from Luhan. 'Get yourself a girlfriend too. Are you going to remain single forever?'
It was a joke Luhan made often, but he had never found it very funny. 

He had only met Luhan a few months ago. So even though they were close, unlike Baekhyun, Luhan didn't know about Byul or his family very well and just assumed he had been single for a long time now.
It was also because he wasn't very popular with the girls at school - not that he was unattractive. It was just that he could be sort of a jerk - he was hard to handle, if you wanted to put it nicely. He said whatever he wanted about a girl - even if it was rude. The last girl who had looked at him with any sort of desire had been Byul. 
He knew all this, but he didn't care and he didn't change.

He was used to being lonely anyway.

벌써 일년이 지났는데 
난 아직 미련 가득해서 
"쓸쓸해" 어느세 혼잣말
Already a year has passed
But I'm still full of regrets
Unknowingly I say to myself, "I'm lonely"

I need to take a walk, he thought to himself with a grumble. His mind ached for some fresh air. He forced himself out of bed and out into the cold weather. The frosty air helped clear his mind and lift his mood.
He kicked his feet deep into the snow, watching his shoes disappear underneath a white blanket of crystals. He looked up into the cloudy sky as the snowflakes coldly kissed his eyelids, nose, and lips. Who needs a girlfriend to make out with when you have snow? He thought sarcastically, shaking them off. 

He passed by a few stores and realized he should probably buy a Christmas present for his sister - and an anniversary gift, even if he wasn't really happy about her marriage. He wouldn't bother giving one to his parents. They were never around for the holidays - or ever at all.
He always had trouble picking out presents for his sister considering it was pretty damn difficult to find something to get her when she could buy anything she wanted with the loads of money her husband made.
Byul had always suggested personal, thoughtful gifts - like homemade paintings, handknit scarves, and heartfelt cards... things you couldn't buy with money. 
But he wasn't really good at any of that sentimental stuff. 

He stepped into a jewelry store because money was clearly not an issue. But his sister had tons of necklaces, rings, and bracelets already. He also didn't know what girls considered pretty. So before a sales associate bombarded him with questions, he turned around and walked out back into the cold.
He walked into the bubble tea shop next door and got a hot drink to sip at slowly. He wiped the snow off the bench and took a seat as he thought about what to do next.
On Christmas Eve, Seoul's streets was filled with literally only couples... He leaned back and sighed as he watched all the lovebirds walk down the block together, hand-in-hand. 

... This was how he usually spent his pre-Christmas days.

불빛 가득한 거리, 거리 혼자 걸었어
다들 행복해 보여
너는 언제나 공기처럼 있어줄 거란 착각에
멍청히 보내, 내가 너무 미안해.
On this light-filled road, I walked that road alone
Everyone looks so happy
Mistakenly I thought that you'd always be here for me like air
I stupidly sent you away, I'm so sorry.

Jongin was only a few blocks away from the cafe Luhan worked at and was wondering if he should stop by and say hello, maybe annoy him a little - just for fun.
But before he made his decision, he saw a familiar face rushing towards him.
"Hey!" He shouted, recognizing the figure as Baekhyun. "You said you were busy, you lying ," he cursed, lightly shoving his friend in annoyance.
"I am!" Baekhyun insisted, giving him a face. "Can't you see I'm in a rush to get somewhere?" He gave Jongin a bright smile and patted his shoulder. "I really have to go - I'll text'ya later!"
Jongin frowned. "I'm n