Title: [10/20]

Cliche and unappealing. First of all, never capitalize every single letter in 'love' for your title. Also, don't use periods like that, or you'll make it seem like 'love' is an acronym.

Foreword/Description: [03/10]

I only gave you a few points because AUTHOR'S NOTES NEVER GO IN THE DESCRIPTION! I suggest you switch the description and foreword around. Also, rewrite your author's note, because it's very revealing. Try changing it to this:

"Depressed by his broken marriage, twenty-eight year old Lee Jonghyun decides to do nothing more than end his life. It seemed like the best thing to do, until a girl suddenly shows up, flying right it front of him."

Plot and Originality: [13/30] 

Your plot is definitely not cliche. In fact, I've read a ghost story staring Kim Jonghyun before.

Language: [03/10]

I saw many mistakes in your grammar and punctuation uses.

Original: 

As usual, I had to sit in front of my computer for a long day.. because my boss just mad at me because he said that my writting essay was wrong. How could he say it wrong? I've been trying to make that essay for 5 days, because of this article, it made a dark circles in front of my eyes. I put my glasses on my eyes and started typing again.

Fixed:

As usual, I had to sit in front of my computer all day. My boss was mad at me because he stated that my essay was wrong. How was it wrong? I'd been working on that essay for five days. Because of it, eye bags appeared under my eyes and I was physically tired. Sighing, I put on my glasses and began typing again.

Original:

Ohh, I haven't been  introduce myself to you, my name is Lee Jonghyun, I'm 28 years old and the journalist of Jung Company. At first I didn't interested to work here, but Yonghwa hyung insisted me to work on his father's company, so how could I say no? and about my lofe life, well I was in relationship with the love of my life Im Yoona a famous model and actress on S.M Entertaiment. We've been in dating for 11 years now, I basically knew her from Jungshin because they were in the same class, and also my twin-sister, Seohyun used to be her personal stylish before she married to Yonghwa Hyung.

Fixed:

Oh, I haven't been able to introduce myself to you yet. My name is Lee Jonghyun. I'm a twenty-eight year old journalist of the Jung Company. At first, I wasn't very interested in working here, but my friend, Yonghwa, insisted that I worked in his father's company. How could I say no to my dearest hyung? About my love life, I'm in a relationship with Im Yoona, a famous model and actress. We've been dating for eleven years now. I met her through my other friend, Jungshin, because they were in the same class, and my twin sister, Seohyun, who use to be her personal stylist before my sister married Yonghwa.

You have many other sentence fragments and spelling errors, I suggest you proofread or use BETA. Always remember to spell check, because that's very important. Also, maybe you could read 'Grammar Tipsy' to fix up your grammar?

Characterization: [10/20]

I feel like Eunji is a Mary Sue and Jonghyun's character is a bit unrealistic.

Flow: [05/10]

The flow of the story is going waay to fast; try to slow it down a bit.

Total: [45/100]

Don't be disheartened by your score! Keep up the hard work!

If there are any questions, please contact MiyuChan! Thanks for requesting!