A/N: Please read! I'll try to make this as brief as possible. First and foremost I'd like to apologize for the lack of updates, I'm not sure if anyone cares about this fic, but if you do (or did) and I made you wait this long, I'm truly sorry. Besides personal problems and my being very busy, I'm having a hard time writing this fic, because I have the main idea all sorted out, but the plot only starts 5/7 chapters from now. Yes, that long. And those chapters are extremely important to the story, so I can't skip them or make them shorter. That's why it took me ages to finish one chapter. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to get the story to that turning point, so please, bear with me. I'm not sure when I'll update again, hopefully in a few weeks. Anyway, this is already too long, but I owed you an explanation. I hope this chapter is ok. See ya~!

---

It's foggy and chilly, the perfect weather to stay under the blanket. Seunghyun, on the other hand, decides to spend his day-off downtown, migrating from one store to another.

He buys a few things, a new bright-purple sweater that doesn't look remotely good on him but the seller was nice so why not, 3 american magazines (he needs to practice his english after all), and a pair of socks.

Then he goes to a cafe in Shibuya, because it's almost noon and he hasn't eaten anything. Seunghyun orders pancakes and waffles and a large cup of coffee, and uses the cafe's Wi-Fi to txt his friends.

Seungri texted him a couple of days ago, about two girls and a bottle of vodka. It made absolutely no sense, and Seunghyun could barely read the words. But then again it's Seungri, so Seunghyun didn't even bother to reply.

Youngbae showed his motherly side and texted him not once or twice, but 5 times. "How are you?" "Is everything ok?" "Hyung?" "Hyung why aren't you replying?" "IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?"

Seunghyun truly didn't have time to reply, actually. He saw the first two messages one day, and made a mental note to reply, but he was busy and then there was the christmas gathering so he had to hunt new (formal) clothes that he won't ever wear again.

Daesung didn't texted him, but called once when he was in the shower. Terrible timing.

His mother though, calls him every day at the same time, and makes sure to ask the same questions over and over again. Seunghyun's tired of repeating himself, of assuring his mom that he really is OK.

Seunghyun pays the bill and leaves, walking down the streets. It's getting colder and he's not dressed properly, only with a few layers. When he left home, he didn't plan to spend the whole morning and half afternoon wandering aimlessly.

As much as he enjoys walking, he decides to go back to the hostel, because right now he really needs a hot shower.

When he gets there, hair moist from the fog, Ren is on the phone but she waves at him, and he stays there for a moment, stuck on the spot, trying to reassure himself that she's actually acknowledging his presence.

His mouth is half-open, and he must look very confused, because the girl takes pity on him and waves again, pointing at the counter this time.

Seunghyun walks slowly, because she's still on the phone and he probably needs to think of something to say. Did she forgive him? Did he do something wrong, again?

Seunghyun approaches the counter and rests his weight on it, fidgeting non-stop. ing awkward.

She hangs up, and hands him a piece of paper with a phone number. He doesn't have the chance to ask what the is it before she speaks, quickly and cold.

"Your friend came over looking for you. He left this number, so you should call him."

Ren doesn't look at him, staring at her nails all the time. She once again looks bored and/or annoyed, and Seunghyun really isn't in the mood to deal with her right now.

He wants to ask "Who?" but then he remembers that he doesn't have any friends here, well no one except his co-worker, Jiyong. Plus he already said that he was sorry, and even though it was pretty lame, he did something. If Ren wants to hate him forever then so be it.

"Thanks," he says quietly, and then goes to his room. Seunghyun puts his shopping bags on a corner, and proceeds to the bathroom. He takes off his damp clothes and gets in the shower.

The water is really hot, it's been only a few minutes and his skin is already red-ish, but it feels great and he's relaxed. Washing his hair he starts thinking that Jiyong not only left his number, but he actually came here looking for him.

He drove to this ty hole, with this terrible weather, just to see him. The thought makes Seunghyun smile. Jiyong seems to be a really nice guy and he really needs nice people in his life right now.

After getting dressed, Seunghyun decides to call Jiyong, to see what he wants. Turns out he doesn't know what to say, so he's just standing there, in the middle of his room, staring at his phone.

Seunghyun's awkward and not very good with people, and every time he tries to approach them, something goes wrong. He somehow manages to things up, it's the story of his life. Look at what he did to Ren, and he just got here. He didn't have the chance to get to know her.

No. He ruined everything before they were even friends.

What if he does the same with Jiyong? What if they start to hang out, and then one day, Seunghyun does something bad and hurt Jiyong? How are they supposed to work together if this happens? What then?

Seunghyun's mind is a mess and he needs a break, he needs to breathe, he's panting and his hands are shaking, covered with sweat. He's having an anxiety attack.

Oh yeah, there's also that. He has too many issues, too many problems of his own. He's better off alone anyway.

Seunghyun puts the piece of paper with Jiyong's number under one of his books, and then crawls under his blankets, because everything seems better when he's there, where no one can see him or talk to him.

He doesn't want to be like this. He doesn't want to hide from people, he wishes he was less complicated, every single day. But it's hard, and he's tried a lot, but failed altogether.

To Seunghyun, there are two kinds of men: the ones who will build a family, and the loners. At this point it's pretty established which one he'll become. For a while, it was ok, he had accepted this idea, but sometimes, like today, it's hard to picture himself alone forever.

It's hard, being lonely.

He feels comfortable by himself, where no one can judge him, but there are times where he lies in bed wishing he had someone to share his thoughts, to take care of him. Does that make him insane? One moment he wants to be left alone, the other he's thinking about relationships; Everything is just so complicated.

Seunghyun rolls a few more times in bed before his phone rings. He doesn't want to pick up, it's probably his mother asking him for the nth time if he's fine, or what did he eat today. He ignores the annoying device for a few minutes, before it rings again.

"What?", he speaks, head still covered with blankets.

"Hyung? H-Hi it's Ji! I mean Jiyong, the guy who works with you? We went to a party last night and took a cab together? Remember me? So yeah, I got your phone number at work, is that ok? Hyung are you still there?"

It takes a few seconds before Seunghyun can manage to say anything. He's actually shocked. Speechless, is the appropriate term.

"Y-Yes, I'm here."

Jiyong laughs quietly, "Ok good, I thought I had scared you to death! And yeah, you probably think I'm a stalker now but--"

Seunghyun suddenly sits, blankets hitting the floor.

"NO Ji, I don't think you're a stalker, ok?" he offers, because even if Jiyong's curiosity is a bit unusual, especially since Seunghyun's nothing special, he still thinks it's cute. Jiyong is cute.

There's a brief pause, before the younger speaks, "Ok... So, can we hang out? I mean, we both had the day off, and I wanted to do something, that's why I went to the hostel, and got your number and everything. But it's ok if you can't, you weren't there earlier so maybe you already have plans for tonight?", Jiyong asks, and he sounds so small.

Seunghyun doesn't need to think twice before he answers, "Yeah, sure."

---

After a few small talk, they decide to stay at Jiyong's place, much to Seunghyun satisfaction. He doesn't want to go out and socialize, he just wants to hang out with Jiyong, one person, nothing too tricky. He changes to a pair of jeans and sneakers, and even if it's hideous, he decides to wear the purple sweater he bought earlier.

'Whatever', he thinks. They're staying indoors anyway.

Thirty-minutes later Jiyong picks him up, and they arrive at his place in 20 minutes. Jiyong lives in a small building, not too far away from the hostel. Seunghyun could get there walking, if he wanted to.

"So this is it," Jiyong says as soon as he unlocks his door.

His apartment is quite small, too, but very organized; Nothing like Seunghyun's room, that's for sure. There's basically no walls, you can see everything from the front door. Kitchen to the left, living room (sort of?) to the right, and then behind a book-shelf there's probably a bedroom. And in the back he can see another door, which he assumes is the bathroom.

"I like your place man, it's very... neat?", Seunghyun offers, and Jiyong gives him a small punch in the arm, laughing while he does it.

"I know, right? I'm a neat-freak. I seriously hate to leave things out of place, and I'm also a germ phobic so I have to clean the place almost every night," Jiyong says, before he blushes and covers his face with both hands.

"Oh my god," he says, face still covered. "Can you please ignore what I've just said? Jesus, I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid, Ji. You're just... very organized? There's nothing wrong with that, in fact, I wish I were more like you."

Jiyong looks at him then, face still red. He smiles shyly, "Thanks hyung. Want a beer?"

"Yes, please. And stop calling me hyung, we're not in Korea, I've told you before."

Jiyong goes to the fridge to get beers without saying a word. Seunghyun takes off his shoes and leaves them by the door, before he sits on the floor, next to the couch.

"What are you doing there?" Jiyong asks, handing him the beer.

Seunghyun opens the bottle and takes a sip, before answering, "I like sitting on the floor ok? You like to clean and I like the floor. You can sit on the couch though, I'm pretty sure that the floor is off-limits to a germ--- whatever."

"And now you're making fun of me," the younger retorts, taking a sip of his own beer.

Jiyong indeed sits on the couch, and Seunghyun gets up to sit in front of him. The younger continues to drink his beer, sparing  Seunghyun a few glances now and then.

Seunghyun as expected, stays quiet, because he's not sure what to do or say. He plays with his bottle, then puts it on the floor, and then he starts to play with his rings. Eventually, when he's absolutely sure that none of them will say a word, he gets anxious, and starts to bite his lips.

And only then Jiyong speaks, setting his bottle aside. "Stop biting your lips, that's gross," he says, smirk plastered on his face.

Seunghyun blushes, because he didn't realize that Jiyong was paying attention to his manners. It's actually quite disgusting, he's aware, but it's something that he can't control. When he was younger he used to bite his nails, but his mother made his life hell until he stopped. It didn't take long before he found something else to bite.

"Yeah, I know. Can't stop though," he offers, and Jiyong smiles.

"Of course you can. It's probably hard but anyone can quit a habit if want to."

"I can't, I mean it. You have no idea how hard it is."

Jiyong gets up, getting his and Seunghyun's bottle, "Well to me you're just lazy."

The younger goes to the kitchen area again, and grabs two more beers. He hands another bottle to Seunghyun, who opens it immediately. The situation is getting awkward and it's his fault of course, maybe if he gets drunk he'll start talking about random things and best case scenario, he'll make Jiyong laugh.

He doesn't want to be the "funny/drunk" friend, but anything is better than this. Fortunately, Jiyong realizes that Seunghyun must be uncomfortable, because he sits on the floor next to him.

"Wow, beware of the germs man," Seunghyun teases, and Jiyong arches his brow dramatically in response, "Oh, so he speaks!"

They both laugh at Jiyong's remark, and Seunghyun finds the opportunity to thank Jiyong, for inviting him over. He knows that he's not the nicest guy, and he barely speaks so Jiyong must be an angel to even consider being his friend.

"Thanks for inviting me to your place, Ji. I know I've been a jerk to you lately, and for that I'm sorry."

Jiyong looks surprised, his eyes are studying Seunghyun's every move. "No problem, hyung. And you're not a jerk, trust me, I know jerks."

"Oh in that case, if you're so into jerks," Seunghyun teases him once again, because he can't help it. Jiyong smirks and takes another sip of his beer, "Let's play a game, shall we?"

"WHAT? I mean, what game?" Seunghyun looks just as scandalized as he sounds, he definitely wasn't expecting this.

"Do you know how to play 'Would You Rather'?", Jiyong asks, and he has that look on his face that is nothing but trouble. It makes Seunghyun feel uneasy.

"I think it's pretty self-explanatory, right?"

"Great, I go first: Would you rather drink your pee or eat your own vomit?"

Seunghyun nearly chokes after hearing the question. "WHAT THE MAN? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?", he asks, and he must look really shocked and/or disgusted, because Jiyong starts laughing hysterically.

"You should've seen your face!" the younger says, still laughing. Jiyong covers his face, and then he starts to rub his eyes, Seunghyun can see that he is almost crying from laughter.

"Well, good to know that it's a funny face. Always glad to make you laugh," Seunghyun says in a serious tone, making the younger laugh even harder.

"Oh dear god Ji, please stop, it wasn't even funny."

Jiyong is holding his stomach, and every time he tries to say something, or when he looks at Seunghyun, his laughter increases. 'Looks like you got your wish after all,' Seunghyun thinks, because apparently he doesn't need to get drunk to nearly kill someone from laughter. He's dumb enough sober.

After what it seems like two decades, Jiyong gathers his composure and apologizes, completely breathless, "Sorry, hyung. You're just too funny."

"If you say so..."

Jiyong takes a deep breath and finishes his beer in one go. "Ok, now answer."

"I'm not answering that, it's disgusting!" Seunghyun makes sure to rolls his eyes in disgust, to make a point. There's no way he can pick between pee and vomit. No, that's just no.

"Come on hyung, you have to answer, god don't be such a baby."

"I'm not a baby!"

"Fine, then you're a ."

"I'm not a either, jesus christ kid, FINE!" Seunghyun says, throwing his arms in the air dramatically, "Pee it is."

Jiyong arches his brow before getting up again, to grab more drinks. "Interesting choice," he says while opening the fridge, and Seunghyun can't help but laugh. Little .

"So it's my turn now, better make it count," Seunghyun says and tries to make an evil face but fails miserably, because Jiyong looks confused all of a sudden.

He starts to think of something disturbing, but turns out he isn't disgusting as Jiyong, and he's not sure if personal questions are allowed. They met weeks ago, everything is new to them. Maybe Jiyong is one of those extrovert people who gets mad whenever someone inquires personal stuff. Maybe he's a cool guy until someone says the wrong thing.

Seunghyun doesn't want to risk, despite the nasty questions they are having a great time regardless, so he decides to ask something pretty basic, "Would you rather marry a very nice but ugly girl, or a very mean but beautiful one?"

"That's it? That's all you've got? Damn hyung, I need to teach you a few things," Jiyong says before answering, "I'd marry the nice one, of course."

Seunghyun doesn't even bother to retort Jiyong's reply, he knows it was pretty lame, but that's how he is. He won't be surprised if after today Jiyong decides not to talk to him anymore. Why should he? He's better off alone, probably. Though someone like Jiyong can't be a loner like Seunghyun, he must have many friends. 'What the is he doing here with me then?', Seunghyun thinks, but his thoughts are interrupted with another question.

"Would you rather have wild inside a car, where anyone can see you, or boring in bed?"

Jiyong tilts his head and stares at him, waiting for his reply. Seunghyun doesn't know what to say, again. He's not made for this, he should have stayed under his blankets, this was a terrible idea.

"That's too personal," he says, lowering his head so Jiyong can't see the blush on his cheeks.

"Really, hyung? This is supposed to be a Q/A game, one asks the other answers. Not A asks, B comes up with an excuse, A has to convince B to answer. Plus that's not a personal question. Personal would be if I asked, 'Have you ever had in a car?', because that would imply something that you did/or not."

Seunghyun continues to stare at the floor, and he hates to admit but Jiyong's right. That's not a personal question and he shouldn't be doing such drama. Somehow he feels embarrassed. He's supposed to be the hyung, after all.

"You're right, I'm being stupid."

"Yes, you are. But hey, we're both grown up men, stuff like this shouldn't be awkward, right? Come on, answer that and then you can punish me by making a question just as naughty," Jiyong reassures him, touching Seunghyun's knee.

"Car it is then."

"Ok, now's your turn. Make it count, hyung!" and it almost sounds like Jiyong is cheering for him, 'you can do it hyung, I believe in you'.

Seunghyun for once decides not to think, because clearly that isn't helping, "Hmm, would you rather have with a or someone with experience?"

"Someone with experience. Would you rather give or get head?"

"Get. Would you rather a cow or a man's ?"

" the , obviously."

Seunghyun, who was staring at the floor, looks quickly at Jiyong, who looks mildly bored drinking his beer. "What do you mean by obviously?", he asks, because now he's confused.

"What do you mean?" Jiyong replies, setting his bottle on a small table.

"Well, that's a tough question and you seem to be very... sure?" Seunghyun offers.

"Of course I'm sure! What kind of person sleeps with an animal? I'd rather a today, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. That's not a tough question, hyung."

"Well, it is to me."

Jiyong once again arches his brows, looking incredulous. "Are you really saying that you'd have to think before answering a question like that? Who's disgusting now, huh?"

Jiyong looks mildly pissed right now, and Seunghyun's still confused. To him, the question is pretty tough, because he doesn't men or animals. So picking between one or another, yes, it is hard.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm not that open-minded , ok? I don't men or animals, so to me it is a tough question."

"Are you saying that I men?"

Seunghyun's scandalized. This is escalating way too quickly for his taste, and he doesn't want to upset Jiyong. He didn't mean to offend him, god, why does he have to be so terrible with words?

"NO, OF COURSE NOT!", he replies, raising his voice to make a point. "I'm just saying that it's hard for me to answer stuff like that, ok? I'm nothing like you, Ji. I'm not comfortable talking about my life with a stranger, because despite our conversation last night, we're still strangers to one another. So I'm sorry if I ended up offending you, I didn't mean it. I'm terrible at situations like this, you know?"

Jiyong looks less pissed now, his features softens a bit before he speaks, "Well first and foremost, we weren't talking about your life. We were answering random questions about , but yeah, now I get that you hated the game, and for that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to play. Second, yeah, I get that we're still strangers, that's why I suggested this game, to lighten up the mood. Such terrible choice," Jiyong says, laughing quietly. "And third, apology accepted."

And to that Seunghyun smiles, because cute Jiyong is back so everything is fine, right? It must have been hard to Jiyong too, since they're both so different. Jiyong was just trying to make the situation better but failed, and Seunghyun is equally guilty. He should try harder, if Jiyong's making an effort so should he.

Seunghyun finishes his beer before he realizes how late it already is, so he gets up and goes to the kitchen area, to throw his bottle in the trash. Jiyong follows him, and offers him another one.

"No thanks, Ji. I should get going. It's already late and we both wake up really early tomorrow."

Jiyong looks disappointed, so he pouts dramatically before asking, "You can stay if you want to. I mean, I have an extra mattress."

Even though the idea sounds tempting, Seunghyun really wants his bed right now. Spending time with Jiyong is great but also tiring, he's not used to that much human contact. Even when he lived with his friends back in Korea, he spent 80% of the time inside his bedroom. He's just that weird.

"Nah, it's ok Ji. I'm going back to the hostel."

"B-But hyung," Jiyong starts, pulling the strings of Seunghyun's sweater, "I brought you here and now I'm too drunk to drive, please stay, I'll feel terrible knowing that you walked home."

"Ji, it's fine, really. The hostel is not that far away and I'm pretty dizzy too, the walk will sober me up."

Jiyong pouts again, and Seunghyun thinks that he's the type of person who doesn't get no for an answer. "But hyunnie," he insists, and Seunghyun literally cringes at the nickname.

"Ok fine, you win. But if you call me hyunnie again I swear to god I'll leave you alone."

"Deal!" Jiyong says, and then he's gone, probably to grab that extra mattress.

Deal.