this is double update, if you haven't read the previous chapter, go back friend! :)

BGM: B2ST - Shadow

Daniel's POV

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) is a rare condition wherein a person’s identity is fragmented into two or more distinct personalities. And I have this condition since when? I’ve forgot it for a long time ago.

Let’s see. It’s when I’m six and my younger brother, Bosung, in three. Christmas came like usually. A whole Ahn’s family gathered in Nanny’s house. Bosung running around the house and Jaerim, my cousin, running after him. Their giggles filled the whole house. The adults just shook their heads and smiled.

After a while they stop running and sat on the floor while me, sat on the couch and watched television.

“Jaerim-ah, play with Daniel hyung too, don’t ignore him.” His mother said and petted his hair gently. Jaerim looked at me before he shook his head and turned away.

“He’s not fun. He’s weird.” His mother just sigh and gave me an apologize smile. But I just kept remain silent, watching a soccer match and kept my straight face. In this year, I’ve heard those words millionth time. I’m already immunes though. And I’ve learnt how to keep my straight face. I’m not hurt with that. No, I never care what people think about me, neither me didn’t care about other peoples. But it’s just annoyed me.

He’s true, anyway. I can’t argue back since I’m indeed not fun. I’m Ahn Daniel, a little boy who always pulled his self from peoples. No one in this world could make me smile. Life is boring for me. Sometimes I just wanted to jumps from rooftop and leave this world

It’s annoyed me to no end when my parents forcing me to go to school. Crowding me with bunches of annoying children and nagging teacher. I was used to be called as a weird kid by my so called friends in the school. But luckily no one dares to picking at me. Even my own parents said that my glare is scared the out of them. And I’m not gave a slight damn to them. I can’t change myself and I won’t. Never.

But finally I heard about this enough and I can’t stand it anymore when I heard my families talking. My mom talked about how proud she is with my older brother, David. And how Bosung is a little ball of happiness in my family. But something was missing. They didn’t talk about me. I felt a pang in my heart.

I quickly entered the guest room where I slept that night. I locked the door and heave sighed as a tears one by one sliding down on my cheeks. This is something new for me. I felt… hurt, betrayed, dumped and forgotten. I walked slowly and stopped in front of a full body mirror. I saw a reflection of a boy looking straight to me with red eyes. And this is the start from my DID.

“Hey, my name is Daniel. What about you?” I asked to the reflection softly and something happened. The reflection in front of me smiled warmly.

“It’s Niel.” I said again and saw lips in the reflection moving along with me.

But nothing has changed after that. I’m still the weird Daniel and my parents didn’t say anything either about it. Until one night my father came to my room with a smile plastered on his lips.

“Hey, Daniel guess what?” My father sat on my bed. I just raised my eyebrow, didn’t feel curious at all. His smile dropped a second before he forced to smile again. “We’re moving to Anyang this Monday. Prepare yourself!” He ruffled my hair. “You could make a new friend there.”

After my father walked out, his words kept rang in my head “You could make a new friend there.” Until we moved.

I looked at ceiling as my father’s words got into me. How I can make a friend? I don’t want my family forgetting about me again. What if my parents got tired with me and really dump me? I felt didn’t care but inside the feeling forgotten by my family tugging my heart.

“But I can’t.” I whispered to myself and memory at Christmas last year played in my head. And I got an idea, a ridiculous one.

Yes, I can’t but Niel.

And with that, I created Niel’s character. Niel is a happy person, always trying to make everyone smile, a hard worker, a polite kid and a positive person. And that was opposite mine.

Next day in the new school, Niel took the control of my body as I just watched him or myself in the dark corner. With easy Niel made new friends, a many friends. Just in a week he became popular boy. At first my parents surprised with a drastic changed. But as time passed they thought it was because my friends or you could say Niel’s friend.

I never feel jealous with the fact that my parents loves Niel more than me. It’s ok. I don’t mind because I kind of felt what he felt. And ever since then, I just watched him. Just take the control when Niel made a mess or he asked me to. Just like now.

He made a mess without he realize. Or he knew but trying to shrug it off. Because I’ve warned him like a millionth time, but he didn’t budge. He kind of deserves got scolding from Ricky about this though. But Ricky snapped at him meant snapped at me. And I don’t like when people snapped at me. I want to take the control, but Niel held me back. “Not now, Daniel” he said to me.

Sometimes I think it’s funny how we two can communicate. In DID condition, usually the person always doesn’t know with his other personality. But we, we could change every time we want, or in our case, every time I want.

And he let me took the control when I said, “I’ve told you don’t fall in love again.” He collapsed.

Yes, Niel is in love.

And he is broken.

Lately, I felt Niel and I became one. It’s like when he hurt, I hurt. He cries, I cry. And so as he fallen in love… I don’t know. Am I fallen in love too?

I crawl under bed and Niel starting crying. This is the first time we both control this body together and there isn't something weird happened, like I said before, it felt like we become one.

“What should I do?” Niel asks me.

“You should make everything clear. Who do you love the most?”

“I… love them equally.” His breath hitched as he realizes what he said. “What about you? Who do you love the most? Do you even love them?”

Those questions shut me up. Do I love them?

Sure I like when Jonghyun held me tightly and make me felt save. Or how his scents and warm lull me. And I can’t deny how cute Byunghun is. How I like made him blushing, or how his body fit perfectly in my embrace. And how I want his lips against mine again.

Both of them always make me felt butterfly in my stomach with their simple touch, or their simple word.

But is it called love?

And if it is, who I love the most? I don’t know.

It can be Byunghun, since I like his lips and embrace thingy. But the more I say it’s Byunghun, the more I think about Jonghyun. I like being hugged by him too, with those muscular arms. He always hugged me protectively. And I wonder how his lips against mine. Will it be as soft as Byunghun?

I pulled from my train thoughts when I hear a soft knocks from the door.

"Niel.. Are you asleep? Can you open the door for me?"

Niel… Jonghyun called Niel. Not me. Oddly, I want hear him say Daniel…. But then, I feel like betraying Byunghun at the same time. And every time I think about Byunghun, Jonghyun’s hurt face haunting me.

Niel has stopped crying and let me take full of control. He just looks at me without words.

Now, what should I do?

What should we do?

--

Daniel or Nie's POV?

Quietly I’m tiptoeing my way toward the door, slowly unlocking and take a peek. There’s no one in hallway and I heard nothing. I walk to bathroom and see my reflection in mirror. Luckily my eyes didn’t get puffy from last night. I wash my face once and twice, then I stops. I look back at the mirror. Sad smile playing on my lips.

Now I don’t know who I am, I don’t know I’m Niel or Daniel. I thinking like Daniel, but I feel like Niel. I think I’m Daniel, but there’s something hurt in my chest. But this is familiar; I’ve felt like this before. It was time when I and my other personality fighting to control the body. Just like this.

My head throbbing painfully. I pull my hair, hoping to ease the pain. I can’t hear anything, I can’t see anything, but the last I know before everything become blank, someone pushed something to my mouth and force me to drink a water.

This is will be a very long author notes. You can start from sixth if you want.

First, yippie? I do a double update! actually i want update chapter 8 a few weeks ago. but i freaking forgot my passwor and only can online from my phone ;;~;; until i wrote chapter 9, i got an idea to create a new acc and update from there. and this is it, my new acc. 

second, ah.... what the have i done with niel.... or daniel? asdfghjkl 

third, have you see i changed my weird foreward to another weird foreward? it's beacause every time i wrote new chapter, i always change the plot. so yeah the new forward are nothing to do with the story.

fourth, guuuuyyss, L.Joe won the poll in chapter 7 with 17 voters. lolol xD is it because the kiss scene? hoho when first time i wrote this story i've planned Niel to endded up with Changjo. but like i said, i always changed the plot. and now i don't know either who Niel or Daniel will choose.

fifth, the 'black niel' in chapter 8 inspired from my favorite manga Fruit Basket :) and fyi, black Niel is mean to Daniel since Ricky didn't know Niel is DID

sixth, there is possibility i will edit chapter 8 and chapter 9 in the future.

seventh, i've stucked in this chapter. i can't get any idea for next chapter ;~; so i think i cant update for a long time. i dunno... but please wait patiently and keep suport me ;~;

eighth, my friend make a nap story and she kinda challenged me. so while i wait get new idea for this fic, i'll accept her challenge. so, sayonara~