"WAKE UP! Oh Sehun, WAKE UP." EXO-K's manager hyung was yelling his lung off.

 

Seeing that the maknae has no intention in waking up for the next 386438974320 years, he mumbled under his breath, "Stupid kids. Stupid boys. Stupid teenagers. Stupid! Stupid Stupid!"

 

Taking his cell-phone, he dialled EXO-M's manager hyung.

 

"Hyuuuung, call Luhan to come back. After he went out to get breakfast, Sedick refuses to wake up!! It's already 11.44am in the morning! Other groups are working their asses off while these lil' shets are all lazing at home. No wonder their popularity is decreasing by the seco--" Before he could finish his sentence, he heard a muffled sob behind him.

 

With wide eyes, he turned around, only to see EXO-K's leader, Suho, practically sobbing and wailing into his palm.

 

"J-Joonmyeon-ah.." He started, only to be stopped by a dramatic wave of the rich boy's hand.

 

"I understand, Hyung. You don't have to comfort me. I know.. I know that o-our group has been declining in sales and fans, but w-we have tried so hard. We are all doing our very best and.. and I know that we are going to make it. You have been such a darling to tolerate our members and I appreciate it so much. Though the other members might not show it, they appreciate yo--

 

"CHANYEOOOLLLL. PABO GIANT. YOUR UNDERWEAR IS IN THE FRIDGE!"

"ugjnmgjgnugmg ggjfngjbmg why didn't Manager hyung clean up our d-dorm.. now I have no underwear.... KYUNGSOO CAN I BORROW--"

"NO, YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE PIECE OF POOP."

"YOU'RE THE LITTLE ONE, MIDGET!"

"YAH, you better not criticise MY Kyungsoo--"

"WHO'S YOURS, JONGIN!?"

"Kyungie Hyung!! I was trying to help you!"

"Guys. SHUT THE FISH UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP."

"SEHUN HAS AWOKEN. PRAISE THE HIGH HEAVENS. OH SEHUN HAS AWOKEN. GLOBAL WARMING HAD MADE SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES. HUMANITY. HUMAAAANITY!!!"

"Jongin, would you like Park Chanyeol's underwear in your filthy mouth--"

"KYUNGIE HYUUUNG, SEHUN BULLIED ME.."

"Good job, Sehunnie, you deserve an extra piece of chicken for dinner later."

 

Clearing his throat, Suho continued, "They appreciate your kind and good intentions--"

 

This time, it was the manager who raised his hand and did that royal wave to shut the leader up. "I know, Joonmyeon. You have been repeating that award-winning speech for about 7000 years. Anyway, we got to talk. All of us. Including EXO-M. It's important."

 

Suho then bit his lips and nodded, "I hope it's good.."

 

"No, it isn't. It's gonna be hell." The manager muttered under his breath

 

~

 

After finally assembling the entire EXO-K and EXO-M in the SM Building (it was pretty easy after Luhan came back with 14 sets of American Breakfast-- 12 for the members and 2 for bribing the managers to let Sehun off; a pat on the from the deer woke Sehun up in a relatively good mood), an SM representative brought all 14 of them to the meeting room. 

 

The members were indeed a little bit intimidated with the huge meeting room. Each of their hands quickly found something to latch on. Needless to say, Chanyeol ran to the front to hold Baekhyun's hand, Luhan wrapped both his hands around Sehun's arm, Tao stood as close to Kris while Kris slung a shoulder around the younger, Kai intertwined his fingers with D.O's while Lay and Chen clung on to Suho, with a flailing Xiumin at Suho's neck.

 

Sitting down around a long table, one of the important board members of SM arrived (his face was so stern, even Kris held a whimper in). He started off by introducing himself and then said in a serious tone, "You guys do know, that you're in trouble, am I right? Your sales are low, and your anti-fans are rising drastically in numbers."

 

Suho held in a protest and continued listening. "Therefore, after much discussion, we have came up with a new marketing strategy. A new advertisment method for you, EXO-K and EXO-M. A never-before all-kill strategy. That is, for your own members to publish a weekly magazine about the life of EXO! Isn't that great?"

 

The members and managers blinked at each other.

 

"So, as I was saying and rudely ignored by all 14 of you, the writing, publishing, designing, marketing and all that bits will be handled by EXO yourself. It will allow people to get to know more about you guys and help you rise in popularity! We will appreciate if everyone whole-heartedly takes part in this--" He stared at an emotionless face (Sehun), "and do your best for EXO. We are one! EXO!" He then left the room, leaving all of them dumb-struck.

 

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Did he just do our gay introduction?"

"Shut up, Jongdae."

 

~

 

Clapping his hands excitedly, Suho gathered the members in EXO-K’s living room. “Guys, this is a wonderful opportunity for us! Let’s do our best for it, alright?”

 

Receiving monotonous replies, he sighed before Lay spoke up, “Okay! I agree!”

 

Smiling brightly, Suho winked at Lay while the other members boo-ed and made a puking face. “Firstly, we got to sort out our roles and positions in the magazine line. So who’s up for the editor-in-chief—“

 

“Suho.”

“Leader of EXO-K.”

“Class president, Suho!”

“Joonmyeon hyung!”

“Joonmyeon!”

“Su to the HOE!”

“Hey!”

“Suho. Duh.”

 

“Fine fine, I will take up that position. So who’s in for my assistant? We will have two people alright?” Suho nodded at the expressionless EXO.

 

“Everyone, I got a great idea.” Baekhyun piped up.

 

“Why not we let Suho have the honour of doing every role—OW!” Baekhyun was then hit by a pillow (on his face; credits to Suho) before he could finish his sentence.

 

“As I was saying, who will be my 2 assistants? Nominees please~” Suho grinned at the group, especially to Lay.

 

“U-Uhh.. uh…” Lay stammered; he so did not want to be the assistant editor, even if it meant spending more time with Suho.

 

“How about our very own unico—“ Suho started, only to be cut off by Lay.

 

“NO! My Korean is bad! H-How about... Minseokkie hyung!” Lay grinned at the Baozi of the group.

 

Xiumin tried to protest but the entire group was already cheering for they have found their first sacrifice. “Alright Xiumin, nominate the next one!”

 

Xiumin then glared at Lay, who smiled innocently. Turning his gaze slowly to a deer, Luhan looked back at him with wide eyes, somewhat like a deer caught in headlights. Xiumin smirked and said, “I nominate Lu—“

 

“… I volunteer as tribute!” Sehun yelled, hugging Luhan’s body tightly.

 

Luhan then stared at him, planting a loud peck onto the maknae’s cheeks (which turned bright red). “MY SAVIOOURRRR~” Luhan jumped onto the maknae.

 

Kai snorted at the sight, muttering, “Saving his damsel in distress.”

 

Clucking his tongue, Suho smiled specifically at the EXO-M members. “Now, who shall be our translators for Chinese?”

 

Turning straight to Lay, the poor unicorn had no time to sabotage anyone else and mumbled under Suho’s lightning gaze, “F-Fine... I’ll do it.”

 

“Fantastic! Who’s next?” Suho clapped his hands.

 

Everyone then turned to look at Tao, who was busy texting. “Tao, it is!” Suho grinned while a whimpering Lay wailed, “HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING. I WILL HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.”

 

“Next up. BOOM! LIGHTS! ACTION! FLASH!” Suho started but was judged by all of the members.

 

“Our advertising managers! They got to be in charge of telling everyone about our own EXO magazine! Nominate yourself or your friend! It’s as easy as 1,2,3,A,B,C!” Suho grinned again.

 

Groaning, Kai mumbled, “He sounds like an advertisment himself—“

 

“Great! Thanks for volunteering, Jongin! I heard your voice first!” Suho laughed cheerily and said, “Next!”

 

Kai looked at the leader, flabbergasted and heard Sehun snickering. “Well, well, Luhan hyung doesn’t look that bad to partner up with.” Kai smirked, plotting a revenge against the maknae.

 

“Alright! Luhan, you’re together with Jongin!” Suho happily announced.

 

Sehun’s face turned to a sour expression, a scowl painting his face. Luhan then pet his thighs and said, "Don't worry Sehun-ah. Jongin will protect me!"

 

Sehun's face then turned into an all-time moody expression.

 

Suho then chuckled, "Protect you? I told you, Luhan hyung, you're a gir--"

 

"No no no no no no no no." Luhan then growled at Suho (more like meow-ed or purr-ed).

 

"Okay, on to the next role! Money money money, is so funny, in a rich man's world~~~" Singing, Suho grinned at the members while they gagged (except Lay) at him.

 

"Guys! Let's be serious! We need a finance executive to keep our funds going and profits coming! How about two again? I personally choose D.O for this job. He's always meticulous and serious in what he does!" Suho smiled, ignoring the comments: "You're the one who isn't serious, you're singing, for goodness's sake".

 

D.O then shrugged, "Okay but, I don't want anyone working with me. Nobody is touching MY money."

 

Suho blinked, "Solo? But I was also thinking of putting Jongdae--"

 

D.O glared at him with his big eyes and that immediately shut the leader up. "Alright alright, we'll find something else for you, Jongdae."

 

"Moving on, we will have the artsy-fartsy people together. Who's left? Ah, Baek and Yeol. Alright, you two, be our Infocomm design editors! That means, you guys have to design our magazines and the printing is all in you two hands!" Suho immediately made the decision for the both of them.

 

Kris raised his hand and spoke, "I can be the art director; after all, I'm EXO's Picasso. I will be in charge of the drawings and y'know, my other stuff."

 

Everyone fell silent and awkwardness took over the dorm's atmosphere.

 

"Ummmm great Kris! Now, I think we all got our roles!" Suho cheered before Chen looked around, confused.

 

"What about me--" He started but everyone started cheering loudly.

 

"GUYS. What about me--" Chen started again but a wild Suho appeared, "LET'S PAR~TAAAYY!"

 

"... YOU LIL SHETS, WHAT ABOUT ME?!" Chen yelled.

 

"..."

"..."

"..."

 

Chen's face turned redder by the second. "You guys forgot about me, AGAIN!"

 

No one spoke (well, Kai was jumping mid-air and Tao was flinging his hands around, so those were the only sounds made). Until...

 

"Uhhhhhh you can be.. our photographer? For like, pictures and photoshoots for the magazine." Luhan grinned as Sehun ruffled his hair.

 

"My smart Xiaolu~" Sehun smiled brightly.

 

Chen grimaced and glared at D.O. "Fine. Stupid people, I better be the first one you guys think about the next time."

 

"Of course, Jongdae. Now everyone, we're done with our roles WOOHOOO TUDUTUDUTLULULULALALA" Suho started the party going and through the night, the 12 wolfboys partied hard. And by hard, it was really hard.

 

HEADLINES ON KOREA STAR NEWS: SM 12-MEMBERS BOY GROUP, EXO, CAUSED SOUND POLLUTION AND DISTURBANCE TO NEIGHBOURS ALL NIGHT LONG. THE POLICE HAD SINCE BEEN ALERTED AND A WARNING LETTER HAS BEEN SENT TO THE ENTERTAINMENT AGENCY'S MANAGEMENT.

 

"Damn." Cursed Suho under his breath.

 

 

A/N: HEY GUYS! First chapter up and I hope you guys like it! I had loads of fun writing it bc EXO are just dumb and dorks like that. Anyway, SUBSCRIBE. COMMENT. ENJOY.