(2008) Seoul, South Korea

It was a cold monday morning and Luhan wanted to stay under the comforts of his sheets when his mother came to knock on the door.

'Luhan! You're gonna be late for school!'

Sitting up, Luhan rubbed his sleep deprived eyes and stretched out his upper limbs. Turning to his right, he reached for his phone to check for the time. His eyes almost popped out when he realized there's only 15 minutes left until his classes would start.

Jumping out of his bed, he ran to the bathroom to wash his face; not even bothering to take a bath.

Then, he grabbed his school uniform, fixed his tie, and gave himself a wink in the mirror before running out into the driveway. He heard his mom scream, 'You should eat breakfast', but Luhan knew he couldn't coz he didn't have the time.

Knowing how his homeroom adviser would flip out whenever he's late had always worried Luhan. He hated it when people took notice of him. Not that he's a loner but he really hated too much attention.

When he arrived at school, there was only 2 minutes to spare. Sprinting towards his classroom, Luhan tripped at the last step of the stairs.

He closed his eyes and waited for his face to hit the floor. But it never happened. Lean muscles were there to catch him and prevent his pretty face from being bruised.

'I'm sorry.' He bowed in apology and started to run towards the classroom again without giving the stranger a last look. Although, he remembered a skull print on the black shirt's chest.

Panting heavily, Luhan entered the classroom and slumped on his chair beside his best friend, Lay. Good thing their homeroom adviser wasn't yet around to reprimand him for being late by a minute.

Sighing loudly, Luhan caught Lay's attention. He smiled brightly at the younger male beside him and got a snort as a reply.

'Yah! Whaddup?' Luhan asked, leaning back on his chair, and both his hands toyed with his phone.

Lay's head rested on the table, and then he scrunched his nose and pouted. “I want Baekhyun.”

Luhan rolled his eyes at Lay. Patting Lay's back, he muttered, “Shut up. You know he's got Chanyeol.” An evil grin was plastered on his lips. He really liked teasing Lay like that.

Lay sat up straight. Turning to Luhan, the innocent Chinese pouted again. 'I don't know why you're even called my friend.' There was a hint of bitterness when Lay emphasized the word.

Chuckling, Luhan patted Lay on the head. 'You'll find someone, too.' He smiled sincerely.

Lay opened his mouth but was stopped when the door opened and his teacher came in with somebody in tow.

Both their heads snapped towards the front when the Mr. Joonmyeon cleared his throat. 'Good morning people. I know it's the middle of the semester, but I’m glad to introduce you to Kim Jongin. He will be your new classmate starting today.'

A series of 'oohhhss' and 'woaaahhss' were heard inside the classroom, followed by girly giggles. Luhan’s eyes shifted from Mr. Joonmyeon to the boy who was introduced.

The skull shirt reminded him of the encounter he had a while ago. So he's my classmate. His eyes travelled from the guy’s shirt to the perfectly tanned neck, the defined jaw line and... Luhan choked on his saliva when his eyes met Jongin's.

Gasping for air, he held on to Lay's suit for his dear life.

He didn't really expect that to happen. Jongin's eyes were so intense that Luhan felt despite the short time they held each other's gaze.

'Are you okay, LuHan?' Joonmyeon asked.

Luhan cleared his throat. 'Yes sir. It's just... Sore throat... I guess.' he said in a barely audible voice.

The teacher motioned for Jongin to sit on the empty chair at the back.

Jongin moved gracefully, Luhan observed. It was like fluid without gravity, smooth and beautiful.

His eyes trailed Jongin's slow steps and felt an unusual familiarity with the boy. Like he saw him somewhere. Maybe in his dreams? No. Why would he dream about somebody he had never met?

'He'll melt.' Lay whispered.

Swatting his friend's hand away from his ear, Luhan faced front and tried to listen to Joonmyeon's discussion. Sadly, Jongin's eyes kept on messing with his brain so he ended up drawing them on his notes.

-------

Weeks had passed since Jongin entered their class. Weeks of Luhan trying to decipher whether he had met Jongin before or not. Weeks of observing Jongin's weird ways.

It had been weeks since Luhan started to give Jongin attention. It wasn't like him to notice people, but Jongin was an exception to his rule. They didn't actually talk to each other. It was one-way.  

For all of his life, Lu Han had never given anyonethis much of his time because he deemed it a waste. Spending time on somebody for no apparent reason was a waste because you gain nothing from it.

He only gave his attention to Lay, and his problematic younger brother, Sehun.

But the past week had been a challenge for Lu Han's concentration because no matter how hard he tried, he would notice Kim Jongin. The way Kim Jongin's finger would drum at his own desk whenever he's bored. The way his hair fell down on his face, almost covering his beautiful - but lackluster - eyes. The way Kim Jongin’s mouth would twist into a shy smile whenever somebody would try and talk to him.

Luhan knew it all. From the minute details of Jongin's to the most bizzare mannerisms he'd displayed.

 Kim Jongin had never talked to anybody except Mr. Joonmyeon. Kim Jongin doesn't eat his lunch and would always disappear during break time. Kim Jongin would stare into space most of the time. And Kim Jongin had never looked anybody in the eye. Not in this class, Luhan mused.

He wondered why Kim Jongin was that way.

Rumors had started to go around school that Jongin's parents were drug abusers who couldn't afford to send the kid to school so they left him in an orphanage. When he grew up, he fended for himself. Another version of the rumor was that, Kim Jongin was a rich heir who doesn't want responsibilities so he left home and lived on his own.

Luhan didn't believe any of it. He knew it was bull. There's one thing Luhan believed though, He liked Kim Jongin for what he's worth.

Without any valid reasons, he found himself attracted to the younger boy but Luhan made no move to approach Jongin because that'd be wrong.

Maybe, he liked Kim Jongin because Kim Jongin doesn't care. Kim Jongin didn't like attention just like Lu Han. And most of all, Kim Jongin didn't know Sehun.

Sehun was Luhan's younger brother. Despite the age difference, Sehun had been Lu Han's hero. Being the bigger kid of the two, Sehun would always defend LuHan from the people who tried to hurt him in any way.

Sehun might be younger by a couple of years than Lu Han but he always acted like the older among the two. He was mature and smart. Acing all of his subject during elementary years and middle school years while Lu Han barely crawled his way out of Junior high.

Sehun would always help him with his assignments because the kid was a genius. A trait Lu Han had always been envious of, but in a good way.

Sehun was the hero, until he entered high school. A formula for destruction blinked above his head - Parties, booze, , bad friends, and even drugs - making him forget who he really was. Completely turning around from his hero facade, Sehun built a wall between Luhan and him.

Lu Han tried to talk Sehun out of it but the younger just shrugged his thin shoulders and said smugly, "You can't get out of it once your in."

His efforts of saving his younger brother were in vain. Every other day, their parents were called to school. Sehun would be suspended for weeks but that didn't stop him.

They had him undergo counselling and rehabilitation but it was of no use.

Things escalated whenLuhan caught Sehun one time in the male's comfort room giving his teacher a head. The teacher's eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he saw Luhan but Sehun only wiped the white sticky streaks that strayed away on the corner of his lips.

Lu Han wanted to breakdown then and there but he needed to be strong.

Since that day, Lu Han stopped talking to Sehun. The younger boy's way didn't change, though.

It wasn't new to Lu Han anymore when police cars rounded their school and arrested his brother for illegal posession of drugs or maybe public scandal.

Sehun's grades were still doing well, despite the embarassing circumstances. LuHan didn't know whether it was because his brother was smart or maybe because he offered his body to the teachers. He doesn't know what to believe anymore.

Then, one night, Sehun came in late in his now-usual state - drunk and high up in the sky.


He kept kissing Lu Han's cheeks, saying, 'I love you hyung.' again and again while crying.

Lu Han, thinking that it was only because of the drugs, continued to sleep and didn't bother to look at Sehun.

Next thing he knew, a bullet went through his little brother's head; he woke up to the smell of gunpowder and rusty smell of blood on their bedroom.

To say that Lu Han was in shock was an understatement. He sat there blankly as police and medics walked past him, and he heard the cries of his mother.


Luhan was ing terrified. For days, he couldn't eat nor sleep, blaming himself for not even giving Sehun one last hug.

He drowned himself in tears every single night.

There was no one on the burial ceremony except for their parents, Lay, Baekhyun, and the teacher. Lu Han didn't know how much he cried that day but it sure was a lot. Because that day, he received a mail, Sehun's SAT results declaring him a national scholar.

He didn't know how he was able to live everyday but miraculously, he moved on from it.

The people around their family was judging but he was thankful because he had loyal friends like Baekhyun and Lay.

-----------

'So, Baekhyun said yes to me!!!' Lay yelled on his ears which made Lu Han almost jump off his seat, pulling him out of his train of thoughts.

Glaring towards his friend, Lu Han hit Lay on his head. 'You Idiot. I almost died from heart attack.'

Lay seemed to be basked in happiness because he didn't care about Lu Han, 'Baekhyun said yes, Luhan.' He dreamily clasped his hands in front of him. 'I'll be dancing with him on the Senior's dance. Wow.' The he giggled like a shy girl.

Lu Han shook his head in surrender. 'Are you sure it was Byun Baekhyun, you Dumb-oh?'

Lay pouted. "Of course. His eyes were sparkling when he said, 'hmm. Chanyeol had chosen Kyungsoo so, yes Lay. I would be your partner.'"

Jaws almost falling off their places, Luhan laughed his heart out at Lay's sad life. 'Okay, buddy. congratulations!' Sarcasm filled his words.

'You're just jealous coz no one asked you to be their date.'

'Ouch.' Lu Han pretended to be hurt by Lay's words. 'Jongin will be there so I don't care.'

It was Lay's turn to laugh at his friend. 'No he won't.'

'Shut up Lay. He will be if he wanted to graduate.' Lu Han said and packed his things. Turning away from his friend, he made his way to the door.
 

Reading the text messages he got from his mother, Luhan didn't notice somebody was running across the hallway, moving fast towards him.  Suddenly, a hand jerked him away from the disaster he almost had, again.
 

Lifting his eyes to see who his savior was, Luhan's jaw fell off its place. Dark eyes piercing through LuHan's own brown ones, Jongin muttered an almost-silent, "Be careful", before leaving the pretty boy behind, stunned.

Did Kim Jongin just said a word to him?

----------------

'Please hurry up. I still have to pick up Baekhyun!' Lay wanted to flail his arms around as he watched Lu Han check himself in the mirror for the millionth time.

Not giving any attention to the angry unicorn behind him, Luhan fixed his tie and checked for any imperfections in his suit. When he found that there was none, he walked towards the door of his bedroom. "I'll make sure Kim Jongin dances with me tonight." 


Lay only rolled his eyes and followed Luhan outside.

When they arrived at the dance, the school's gym was filled with people. Walking straight towards the food table, Luhan left Lay and Baekhyun to themselves, and grabbed a glass of punch. 

There was no sign of Kim Jongin anywhere.

As the night went deeper, the dance was slowly heating up and soon enough, it was chaos. Scent of sweat lingered in the air, bodies grinding against each other and people kissing random strangers in the dance floor. Lu Han was suffocated by the everything - Including Jongin's absence - so he decided to take a walk outside.

In contrast to the wild scene inside the gym, the school building were peaceful and serene. He decided to take a walk inside building where he had spent his last times with Sehun. The school's laboratory. It was on the far end of the school. Hidden by the other taller buildings.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Lu Han walked inside the old, wooden, door. It was silent. He tried not to break the silence in the air until he reached the end of the hallway.

Someone was whispering.

Lu Han's hair on his nape stood up, fear gnawing at his bones.

Slowly walking towards the voice, he heard some hissing sound - like someone was fighting.

As he reached the corner before the fire exit, he recognized the voice. He had heard it so many times.


It was Chanyeol.

'Hyung. I don't think this is right.' Chanyeol's voice was barely above a whisper but the close proximity and the silence made Lu Han hear him, clearly.

Somebody hissed. 'Shut up. Just shove that inside his mouth so we could get on with this.'

He realized it was Kris. Follwing Kris' voice was a muffled sob. He didn't know who it was but curiousity took over him so he peeked.

These kids were on Sehun's circle. And it'll be the first time he'd be a witness to their dumb acts. Tilting his head a little to his left, Lu Han's heart shot up to his throat because of the scene infront of him.

Chanyeol and Kris's back were on him. Their tall frames emphasized by their suits.

A boy was sitting on the first flight of the stairs. His mouth gagged by a white cloth and his hands tied at the back.

So this is what they do.

Luhan recognized him as Kyungsoo. A senior from the next class. Baekhyun's best friend.

Eyes wide in shock, fingers shaking, Lu Han's hand fished his phone inside his pocket. Locking gaze with Kyungsoo, he motioned with his finger to keep quiet as he slide back into his hiding place and called the police.

he heard Kyungsoo cry out for help when the gag was taken off of his mouth.  Despite shaking from fear, he decided to be a hero because he didn't want Kyungsoo to suffer the same fate as Sehun did. Stepping to his left, he made himself known to the two giants infront of him.

'Yah! Let him go!' He yelled.

Heads turned to where Lu Han was planted.

Kris was glaring and Chanyeol looked scared.


"Why are you here, Oh Luhan?" Kris hissed at him. 


"Let him go, or I'll call the police!" 

Then, suddenly, Kris advanced towards LuHan, and with every step he took forward, Lu Han retreats. When Kris' steps hastened, Lu Han took it a sign for him to run for his dear life.

He ran and ran until he reached the end of the hallways. Looking back, he saw Kris going after him so he ran up the flight of stairs to the 3rd floor.

Breathing was hard and he felt like he was going to pass out when suddenly a hand grabbed him from inside one of the classrooms.

He was pressed into the walls of the room and a hand clamped his mouth to prevent him from screaming. Eyes wide, he tried to recognize who his savior was. Lu Han was Trying to think straight despite the fact that their bodies were too close for comfort and his sweat was trickling down his face.

'I think he's gone.' the stranger said, neck craning to see if somebody had followed Lu Han.

Lu Han's heart plunged into his throat when he recognized Jongin's voice. Taking Jongin's  'J-Jongin?' his chest was heaving up and down.

'Lu Han.'

Lu Han thought he was going to pass out at the sound of his name in Jongin's mouth.

Pushing Jongin away, LuHan asked, 'Why are you here?'

'I came for you.'

'Why?'

'Because I think it's time.'

'Time for what?'

'to tell you the truth.'

Luhan felt his jaw drop at the things Jongin said because he didn't understand a thing.

Pulling Luhan by the arms, Jongin made the older guy sit at the stool beside him. Then, he took the other stool so that he sat face to face with Lu Han.

'I have known you for years Lu Han - Years before this lifetime, Years before the lifetime before this.'

Silence.

‘We were together before. You loved me. I loved you.’ Jongin’s eyes focused on Luhan’s own, boring into them as if it was the last time. “I still do.”

Luhan’s eyes were wide for he couldn’t grasp the meaning behind Jongin’s words.

When Jongin’s hand travelled to cup his face, Lu Han leaned away from the touch. He was nervous and scared. What if Jongin was one of them? He stood up, glaring at Kim Jongin.

“Who are you?” Was all LuHan managed to say.

"Luhan, believe me. What i'm saying is true. Let me show you." Jongin didn't give LuHan the time to react when he pulled him and locked their lips together.

Luhan's breath hitched and he felt an awkward and scary sense of familiarity. The taste of Jongin's mouth on his tongue was too familiar that it scare the out of him. It was like he'd kissed  the same pair of lips before.

Memories flashed before Luhan's mind. They were of him an Kim Jongin, laughing together like they've known each other too well, kissing like they were the on people on earth, and one were he was lying on bed, beside Jongin, wearing nothing. It was so surreal that LuHan gasped and pushed Jongin away.

He couldn't believe what just happened.

"Do you remember now, LuHan?" Jongin asked, eyes filled with hope.

LuHan swallowed.

Then, slowly, he took reatreating steps, one at a time, away from Jongin.

He couldn't quite wrap his head around whatever it was that happened between him and Kim Jongin. Kissing the boy made him feel like they've been together forever.

"You know me Luhan, and I know you. We loved each other before this." Jongin started to advance towards him.

Shakin his head, Luhan refused to believe the words despite the reality of what he felt. What if Jongin was just some dumb crazy idiot? What if he was just high on something? Luhan shook his head angrily, trying to convince himself that everything Jongin said was a lie, then bolted out of the room, far away from everything. Far away from Kim Jongin.

----

Jongin stood there, feeling numb and useless.

Each step away that Luhan took, ripped his heart slowly but surely. He promised himself he wouldn't approach LuHan again but there he was, forcing Luhan to remember him, forcing Luhan to do the impossible.

And just like before. Luhan's gone.

He'd lost Luhan before he could even have the chance to have him back.

Picking himself up, Jongin walked out of the room slowly. The faint sound of police sirens reaching his ears as he tread towards the opposite direction.

Picking up rocks stuffing them inside his pocket, Jongin hummed a sad song to himself. He felt sorry for putting Luhan through all this . So, just like a consolation, he'd go away, and probably, stay away from Luhan until his soul's death.  

he reached an abandoned bridge and sat on the railing, feet dangling above the still waters, pockets full of stones.

Tears streamed down his face, a symbol of sorrow and regret for making Luhan feel miserable.

He was supposed to make Luhan happy, not suffer.

Jongin sobbed his heart out, tears falling into the river, mixing with the clear water, and gone with the current.

If only he could cry out his memories. He'd cry until every single memory was gone. That way, he'd never had to face Luhan again and cause him those misery.

Jongin let his feet dangle a little farther and closed his eyes as he fell into the blackness of night.

-------

 

A/N: 

YEY! A CHAPTERED KAILU FIC!! <3 <3 <3 HUG ME!! 

LOL. SO, HAVE YOU READ MY FOREWORD? I WON'T ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING BUT COMMENT. :) TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. SHOULD WE CONTINUE THIS ? HAHA. KIDDING. If you ever feel the need to tell me how dumb - or beautiful - I am, you can find me at twitter. @kyungsooOnly. <3 Feel free to call me, maybe. nah. just kidding. haha

I AM NOT A NATIVE AMERICAN SPEAKER SO THE GRAMMAR MIGHT HAVE INCONSISTENCIES BUT, OH MY GOSH. I FINALLY PUBLISHED ONE OF MY FICS. 

ZUZUZU~ MAAM. I LOVE YOU. HAHA. 


THIS IS UNBETA-ED. 
LET ME COMEBACK LATER. :) 

LEAVE ME COMMENTS PLEASE. I LOVE YOU ALL. AND KAILU FOREVER~ 

--GIRLIE