“So what’s your story, Kris?”

It was 7:20 pm in human world, and I kept counting. Counting my own time limit that would end in about 15 minutes more. Yet, I couldn’t just leave him alone like that.

I finally decided to help him. To be there anytime he needed me eventhough I broke the rules. I knew it but I couldn’t get away from it. Was it my fault? I always asked myself, but the answer never came. Right until today, right until that day when I had to say that I regret what I already did.

So, what happened that day after I went to his dream for the first time was totally crazy. He really meant it and decided to kill himself right at that moment when I had to leave. Luckily, I didn’t really leave. If I was 5 minutes late then I would never be here. I didn’t know why he suddenly had a scissors where he attempted to cut his wrist.

That’s why Wu Yifan and Zhang Yixing made the promise, and right at that moment I couldn’t just leave him alone.

“I have no story,” Kris is not my real name but I just feel more comfortable to be called that way. “Well, you see. I’m just a Paper Bird. We have no story.”

He put the knife that he used to peel an apple on a table in his right. He frowned a little bit before stared at me right in the eyes. I, who sat right in front of him, took the knife and peeled my own apple. “What?” I asked him without giving a second to stare back.

“There must be something, like, who commands you?” He took a sliced apple that I cut finely, and put it in his mouth. I did the same while thinking about the right answer to give.

It’s not because we’re not allowed to talk about Him, but even us, fellow Paper Birds, never once talk about Him. Not because we’re scared, just because it kind of feel awkward to talk about someone that you actually never meet.

“There’s someone. But we better not start talking about him.”

“This person can hear us, right?” I shooked my head.

“No, not really. Just that it doesn’t feel right to talk about Him at this moment,” I put another slice of apple inside of my mouth. “What’s your story, then?”

He sighed. I knew my question made him upset but I just had to. I wanted to know why he could be outcasted in this place and why he decided to stay and to be alone forever. I needed to know at least that much so that I knew what I got to do next.

He started when he first met this person. They were best friend and they became a couple. They lived their life as a couple happily until this person tried to kill Zhang Yixing. I was really shock when I heard this but I kept on listening. Zhang Yixing himself didn’t know why this person wanted to do that but as many times he wanted to ask and to seek the truth, he couldn’t help but got hurt. This person was very dangerous even police couldn’t stop him.

That person was in jail for about 8 months and Zhang Yixing got hurt for almost 6 times. He got hit  in the head with a baseball bat, he got scratch in the face with a scissors and the last time he got his leg broken because he got pushed from the stairs.

That’s why a lot of people suggested him to stay away and hide in the safe place. And, Yixing thought his place was the best place eventhough he had to stay far away from the real world and knew nothing but his own condition.

“But I don’t know why it’s still hurt to see him happy with another person. We were like that before and it was really painful to see. I knew myself was a jerk when I hope to see another person who’s with him right now feel the same pain as I do. I just—“

Zhang Yixing was right. If I were him I might think the same way. He got hurt everywhere and he couldn’t even walk straight because of the pain in his leg. He could wish on everything as much as he could because he got to feel the pain because that person. And somehow I could feel the same pain.

 “You know, it’s time for me to leave. Please just don’t call me as you like. You sure know what you pay me with, I believe,” he nodded his head with a mouth full of apple.

“I know, don’t worry. It’s not like my memories are important anyway. Well then, thank you for today. You owe me one, I hope you remember that,” I nodded before I took my leave.

On my way to see another client I kept on thinking about the same thing. About promises and those people who agreed to keep it. Paper Birds never make promises. We know what we’re doing so we don’t have to keep anything for anyone. Humans make promises to comfort themselves. To make themselves sure that there’s still someone who share the same impotances so that they can actually get through it together.

This finally made me realise that human can’t live by himself. They need someone to keep the promise so that they will feel relieved. They need someone to keep their heart away from worries in order to keep them alive. Humans are the weirdest creatures that I’ve ever met but they make us, Paper Birds, stay alive with all their memories which is so ironic sometimes.

Memories are what we ‘eat’ to stay alive, but those things are what humans want to throw away from their lives. They don’t even care about those memories that they will never ever remember. A year is a very long time for us Paper Birds to make memories, yet our memories only contain of things that we see in our clients’ dreams, which is not that amusing. But that’s what reminds me why we can never call ourselves human. Because we’re not one of them. Because we have no worries. Because we have no importance. Because we’re not supposed to have any connection with what happens in human’s world.

Which becomes the only thing that kills us, Paper Birds.

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“You’re definitely out of your mind. What are you gonna do if He found out?” It’s 34:17 my time and it was only me and Luhan, a fellow Paper Bird, in the living room. The rests were probably decided to sleep early or doing things that they had to do. It was usually three of us, me, Luhan and Xiumin but the oldest one hadn’t shown the tip of his nose yet.

“He won’t. As long as you keep your mouth shut and willing to help me.”

“Wu Yifan, really? Have you talked about this to Xiumin?” I shooked my head. Luhan looked so shocked but he decided to keep his calm. Xiumin is the oldest and he usually knows what the two of us don’t. Like how to deal with the promise that I made with Zhang Yixing, for example.

The last meeting with Yixing was the second one that I made without telling anyone about it. That’s why I decided to tell Luhan that night because I was sure that I would need his help in the future. Same as Xiumin, but unfortunatelly he didn’t show up that night.

“Listen. Human is scary. And this is not the way we do our job, remember? This is the most important rule and you just act like you don’t care and make a close relationship to your client, are you out of your mind?”

“This is the 5th times you said that Lu, and I—“

“I don’t care! Okay? Now listen to me just once more. Stop what you’re doing now, stop talking to him, stop concerning and leave. I beg you. Xiumin won’t be happy to hear this.”

And Luhan just left. He left me without giving any advice like what he used to do. For this matter, he just didn’t care and he would never care. Luhan is that kind of friend that will tell me what’s good and what’s bad, but when it comes to things that we both already knew, he just simply won’t give a damn. He knew that I knew so it won’t be a problem—that’s the way he thinks.

Not so much different, Xiumin has his own way to deal with a problem. However, he always never there when I need him the most, and that’s also one of his way to deal with a problem. Which gave me time, that night, to think twice about my decision. I could just leave Zhang Yixing and pretend that I didn’t care. I could just leave forever and never come back. I could just pretend that I forget about his existence, but I didn’t have the heart.

---------

“I couldn’t remember what it was like when I was a kid. How many times have we met?” It was the fourth time, I said, to keep reminding him that he had his own time limit and I did too.

“I was once thought that someone like you and your mates were just some creatures that abused us, human, to get what you wanted. But later I just realised that what you guys do is such a help for us human because I believe there must be a lot of people like me who want to erase some of our memories,” said Yixing.

I sighed and I stared at him. Why do people want to erase their memories, I asked. Because memories are things that keep us alive. When you have no memory left it would just feel empty like there’s no more reason to live in this world anymore.

“Because humans have worries, unlike you guys. We do and did a lot of things that sometimes makes us regret and wish to forget. You never have any regret, don’t you?” Nope, I said.

Why would people have any regret, I asked. When you did something and it failed, it is not something that you should regret but it’s the thing that will make you realise so that you won’t make the same mistake later in the future.

“In our world, it is not that easy. Because our kinds have scary mouths and scary hearts. When you make a mistake, it’s not you who will remember it, but other people. And they will  keep reminding you with their malicious ways. Humans are scary, Kris. We do regret and grudge.”

Do you have any regret? I asked. And he nodded.

“I do. I regret myself because I became a coward and staying at this place. I regret myself from trying so hard to burry my memories about him deep down right here,” he said while putting his finger on his chest. “And I regret myself because I stop finding the truth.”

He stop talking for about 10 minutes until he told me another story.

“He called me last night,” his voice was cracking and I kept my silence. The ‘he’ that Yixing talked about was still the same ‘he’ that made him cry all the time. So I decided to prepare the same formality, in the same place and in the same room. He then nooded and understood that we both knew what we should do to finish this.

---------

I went to a room, a very big room without anything but a purple bed. Yixing wasn’t there yet but I was sure he would come in a speed of light.

And so I waited.

I was waiting for almost 29 minutes human time when I saw Xiumin right in the corner of the room and waved at me. He looked so relaxed but at that time I was in a total shock. When there are two Paper Birds in the same dream, it means another deal had been made. And this deal was made without me.

At that time I just realized that there must be another person behind this, to stop me from anything that would happen between me and Zhang Yixing, the only person that knew about us.

“Luhan told you this, right?”

“Yes, and no. Okay let me explain this. Your client has the same importance as my client so they decided to meet in a dream because they’re far apart. And I heard from Luhan that this is not the first time for you and your client? Care to explain what’s happening? I stopped the time already so don’t worry. They can wait.”

I can never hide anything from Xiumin and then I decided to tell him everything as well as to ask him what was happening because I wasn’t that sure myself. This happened for the first time to me so I couldn’t find the right way to deal with things that already happened so I just let everything flow the way my heart wanted it.

And Xiumin was care enough to sit in that purple bed right beside me. We talked for about 2 hour our time to finish what I started and to forget what already stuck in my heart.

“Let them finish what they’re supposed to finish. We’ll talk later at the usual place,” I nooded.

Xiumin held my wrist and leaded me to the corner of the room. And that was the first time I saw Zhang Yixing shuddered. He just suddenly poped out and stood beside the purple bed, as well as that person who kept walking to his direction.

“Long time no see. You look awful,” that person started talking but Zhang Yixing couldn’t held his chin up. He kept on looking at his barefoot.

“Do you want to spend your life forever in hiding? You scared that I would try to kill you, right? Why don’t you just kill yourself then?”

I really wanted to hit him right in the face eventhough I would break another rule, but I couldn’t do anything since Xiumin hold me tight in the wrist. Because he knew what I would exactly do if I was alone. Luhan knew. And that’s why he told Xiumin about this to prevent me from doing stupid things.

But I couldn’t just stay silence to see what he did to Yixing. He was already hurt and this person didn’t help. Yixing looked pale. He sure wanted to cry but he hold his tears. He didn’t want to look weak in front of this person.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Finally I could hear his trembling voice.

“You have no idea, do you? That’s what makes me hate you. You’re just too ignorant. You just deserve it after what you did to my life!”

He was startled and Zhang Yixing couldn’t held his tears anymore. He stared at that person right in his eyes without knowing what to do.

“Don’t you remember that you left? You left me when I needed you the most, you do not remember, do you? It was that summer when you decided to leave the town for your mother’s birthday. Did you know that I broke my fingers so I can no more play guitar? You do know how important this is to me, right?”

I definitely didn’t know why human’s heart was so weak. They could kill each other just because a simple thing. I’m no human so I didn’t know why two broken fingers could ruin his life. And I didn’t know either why Zhang Yixing felt sorry toward him so that he broke down and cry asking for forgiveness. And I didn’t know why two people could share the same pain so that they needed each other to get through it. But maybe that’s the only thing that we, Paper Birds, will never understand.

“The two of them will never comeback to what they used to be. Eventhough we’ve finished our job here it doesn’t mean we’ve finished their problem in real world. Real world is a cruel place for human, a place where Paper Birds like us should not interfere. I believe you just realised it just now,” I knew what I just saw and I knew what did Xiumin try to say.

Zhang Yixing had his own life and I had my own job to finish. I knew that I should stop talking to him after that. But I didn’t know how I could not just leave. I said my farewell to Xiumin and ran to Yixing and hold him tight. I left the dream and brought him back to real world.

TO BE CONTINUED

I'm really sorry that it took so long to continue this story. I just started a new job and I'm just pretty busy with things. But I promise to keep you update as soon as possible. Thank you for reading <3