Chapter 1
Paper Birds"Name?"
"Zhang Yixing."
"Age?"
"23 years old."
"Occupation?"
"A patient."
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Zhang. But I need you to be serious right now because I have to fill this submission form and you need you to answer them honestly. Or else, I'm afraid that I can't help you."
"I beg your pardon too, Mr. Paper Bird. But can't you see that I'm laying in bed right now? I can't go anywhere, I broke my leg, so what do you expect me to do? Dancing?"
Another though day, I thought for a second. As a Paper Bird senior, I do meet a lot of demanding clients and I pretty much used to it, but Paper Birds sometimes have one or two bad days so we want everything to be smooth, safe and sound. That day's weather wasn't helping either because it was so dark even though a human digital watch on my wrist still said 7:45 in the morning. I suddenly remembered when I checked on weather forecast before heading off to human world, it said that there would be a storm in where I served. It had nothing to do with me, but of course it would affect my client's mood. And that must be the reason why he acted so irritating.
It was 9:11 when the rain had finally poured down and our deal had been reached. I wasn't in the hospital. It was like a cottage, far from the town, there were eight or ten cottages which had the same exact design and it seemed like he lived by himself.
"Before we start, I want to remind you again about our rules, in case you didn't read our contract, we don't accept payment in the form of money. However we will reduce your memory for every wish that we took. One wish worth a year of your latest memory. So be careful because it's not impossible to lose everything. I hope you understand enough about this rule Mr. Zhang." He nodded. I smiled at him and continue talking.
"It's 23 years old so it can't be more than 20 wishes, I'm afraid." I stared at him straight in the eyes and he gave me another nod. "Well then, let's begin with your first wish. What can this Paper Bird help you with?"
I watched him sighed, there was some uncomfortable feeling lingered around him and I knew exactly why. For some clients, it's hard to say their wishes sometimes because they knew it will affect their everyday life and people are usually scared of that. And from what I observed, Mr. Zhang showed me the same reactions. Usually we will just wait until my client is ready, but we still have to remind them about our limit. We can only stay in human world for 2 hours and another two in dream world for every client. We may not look so busy, but in fact there could be more than 3 clients a day that's why we need to do some kind of time management.
I waited for another 15 minute until he finally spoke.
"I have someone that I do care about. I just want to know whether he's still care for me as much as I do or he forgets me already. I mean, I've trapped in this place for more than 5 months and I don't know how to contact him, that's why I need your help."
There were so many things I wanted to ask regarding his stay in this place but since it wasn't my concern so I let those questions buried deep down in my mind and won't let it go until my client reveal that to me with his own will. Easy task. I thought to myself and started to prepare him.
In order to help our clients to relax, we always prepare a cup of chamomile tea because it is the best medicine to heal the weary soul.
I was lucky because the only thing that he wanted me to do was investigating his "someone" without making any agreement or whatsoever like what our clients ask us to do. I was kind of feel bad for him because if I were him I won't waste my one year memory for something like this. Paper Birds don't have memories. That's why we live with those memories that people pay us with. However, some people want to throw away their memories for some reasons. That's why we help them to forget. To live a new life with brand new memories that we create through dreams.
Another 15 minutes had passed and I prepared myself to jump into his dream. What Paper Birds do in this stage is almost the same with those clients of us. We drink almost the same liquid to keep us relax and join them in dreams. I sat on the couch near his bed and closed my eyes.
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First thing that I saw was a big building with a lot of windows but I couldn't see any door. I looked around but I saw nobody. The first thing that we see in people's dreams are usually their memorable places. Scenes that they cannot forget or things that they want to see. However, in Mr. Zhang's case, I don't think it was a place that he wanted to see or a thing that he couldn't forget. It was a portrait of his own heart, his own feeling that he was afraid to admit.
Solitariness. Loneliness. Sadness.
I began to understand about the whole situation. About the reason why he needed me, as well as the root that cause him to stay in that place. He ran away. He was the one who ran away from everything. He was afraid to admit that the one person that he loved leaving him for someone else. He chose to live alone in that place to run away from reality. To hide away the answers that he himself already knew since a long time ago. However, the story must go on and the dream had not yet begun.
I saw he waved at me from the 3rd window in the 5th floor and told me to come in from the back door. I followed his order and then I saw a purple door, the only door in this big building. I didn't know how but suddenly I was in his room. Mr. Zhang was facing away from me, looking at a big screen about 2 meters in front of him. He saw me coming and without a word gave me a sign to sit with him.
"It's him."
It was a man, wearing white wife beater shirt, old blue jeans and riding on his skateboard. Mr Zhang's eyes couldn't leave his sight even a second. And I knew right away it was love.
I had never been in love. I didn't know what it was like because Paper Birds can't fall in love. We could if we want but one of the rules said so that's why we can't do anything except to respect the rules. I never knew what it looks like until I saw it right in front of my eyes. That glowing eyes, rumbling hearts and flowing tears. I knew it was love even though it hurt him that way. Why do people love when at the end it will leave them scar? Why would they take the risk when they knew they couldn't bear the pain? Humans are weird creatures and we all Paper Birds know about it.
It was the first time I learned about love. Right at that time, I knew I was gonna falling deep into its trap one day, but I didn't know it would be that fast.
Once I sat comfortably, I followed his eyes into the big screen. The man wasn't alone anymore. He was with another man and they looked happy together. He couldn't stop smiling while looking at the other one who kept talking to him. They shared the same drink, hugged each other, held each other's hands and the story kept going until I felt like I couldn't watch anymore.
I looked at Mr. Zhang but he didn't even move. Not even blink. At that time I didn't know what to do. It was painful to see him like that even though I didn't know where did that feeling come from. I knew it hurt him and I knew he didn't want to see but couldn't help it. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him off of the couch.
"Why do you keep doing this to yourself? You already knew about the situation but you still called me? What do you want from me? From us?"
He starred at me right in the eyes. I saw something coming from his eyes and I knew he hold it in for almost like a century long but he kept managed to hide it.
"I don't know I just need someone to accompany me. I can't do this alone, you know. I.. I don't have anyone anymore. I'm all alone. I'm so pathetic. I'm not supposed to live in this world. I'm so done with everything. Do you know how hard it is? No, of course you don't. What do a creature like you know about our world. You don't know. You.."
Right at that time, I slapped him right in the face. I knew I broke the rule. We shouldn't hurt anyone, but I believe it was the right thing to do. He was unconscious. He couldn't think clear because it was the first time he told his story to anyone, and unluckily, a Paper Bird like me had to see such a thing.
He broke down crying loudly. Very loud. I couldn't do anything except watching from the side until my time was up.
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When finally we both back to real world, he kept silent for about 10 minutes.
"I'm so sorry for everything I said to you in the dream." said Mr. Zhang with his hoarse voice.
I walked to him and patted his back. "It's okay. I do understand, Mr. Zhang." He smiled at me and thanked me for helping him.
"I've been looking for an answer for years but I couldn't find it until you came to me. Thank you so much it was such a help. If you didn't come then I might be like this forever."
"What exactly the question, if I may know?"
"Whether I'm ready to die or not," he stopped for a while. "and the answer is yes. I'm not supposed to be here."
Another smile from Mr. Zhang and I, later, realized how stupid I was to get myself into such trouble.
TO BE CONTINUED
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