“Have you applied to any colleges yet?”

Jinri looks up from where she’s sitting on the floor of Yongguk’s living room with Jinah, coloring a princess picture with her little sister. “What?” she demands, a breeze from the open window ruffling her loose hair.

Yongguk gives her a level look. “Have you applied to any colleges yet?” he repeats, a bit less friendly this time.

Jinri rolls her eyes, going back to her picture. “As if. I’m not going to college. I didn’t take the entrance exam during the fall, and I wouldn’t pass even if I did.”

“Your foster mom says that your grades are actually really good right now,” Yongguk says casually. “I think you’ve got a good shot it you try. I’m signing you up for the next exam date.”

Jinri is torn between being touched and being annoyed. “You’ve been discussing my academics with my foster mom, have you?”

“We’ve been talking,” Yongguk shrugs casually as if it’s not a big deal.

Jinri wrinkles her nose in dislike. “Well whatever my grades are, I’m never going to be able to afford university so there’s no point in dwelling on it. I’ll just get a job working somewhere once I graduate high school.”

“There are academic and need-based scholarships you can apply for,” Yongguk points out. “I’ve been doing some research. I had to apply for both. If I can do it, then so can you. You’re smarter than I am.”

Jinri looks at him for a long moment. It’s the first time he’s said some really nice about her like this, and she’s touched more than she wishes she was. Despite the fact that they’ve been officially dating for three months now, she still feels like it’s a dream. Like she’s the only one invested in the relationship. She tries not to show him just how much it actually means to her to have him with her.

She looks away to hide the blush that creeps across her cheeks. “Whatever. I’ll take the exam if you want me to but I really doubt I’ll make it.”

“That’s my girl,” Yongguk says fondly, reaching over and ruffling her hair playfully.

Jinah chooses that moment to yawn widely, reminding Jinri and Yongguk what time it is.

“Naptime!” Jinri announces, pulling her sister up to her feet.

“I don’t want to take a nap,” Jinah grumbles, her temperament grouchy since she’s so sleepy.

“But if you don’t take a nap, then we can’t go to the park later,” Yongguk points out calmly.

Jinah considers it for a moment, then nods. “Okay. I’ll go.” And Jinri thinks for the millionth time what a good dad Yongguk will be someday. It almost makes her heart ache.

They put Jinah down for her nap together. She’s so used to napping in Yongguk’s bed that she doesn’t have any trouble getting comfortable and, despite her earlier claims that she wasn’t tired and didn’t want a nap, she’s out within a few minutes.

“So what should we do while she’s napping?” Jinri asks, pulling the door to the bedroom closed.

Yongguk answers by pinning her to the wall and slanting his mouth over hers. His kiss is familiar and not at all unwanted, but Jinri pushes him away all the same. “We can’t!” she whispers, glancing nervously at the closed bedroom door. “What if we wake Jinah?”

“Bathroom then.” Yongguk is not one to be deterred, and the way his lips attach themselves to that sensitive spot on Jinri’s neck is incredibly persuasive. “Shower. She won’t hear us over the water.”

Jinri knows she should refuse – how on earth will she explain that particular situation to her sister if Jinah wakes up? – but Yongguk has her wrapped around his little finger and they both know it. So they end up in the bathroom, locking the door behind them for good measure, stripping one another of their clothes. The water is cold and first and Jinri squeals at the sudden temperature, but Yongguk quickly finds a better use for .

Jinri never liked giving s before Yongguk. She’d performed them of course – the many nameless, faceless men she’d been with had seemed to enjoy it a great deal – but she herself had never liked them. With Yongguk, things are different. She’d be fine kneeling there on the floor of the shower with her boyfriend’s shoved halfway down for hours.

Yongguk doesn’t seem quite content with that. He pulls her up from her knees to plant a sloppy, needy kiss on her lips. Then he’s lifting her up, pinning her between the wall and his own body, entering her with one smooth, familiar motion.

Jinri has never slept with anybody as many times as she’s slept with Yongguk. At first she’d thought she would get bored of the same routine over and over, but with him is anything but boring. He also has learned and memorized what it is that makes Jinri tick, and he’s an expert at bringing her to the brink of insanity and then ripping her away so they can go for longer. She tells him she hates him for it but really she loves him for it and they both know it.

She buries her face in his neck as he makes love to her, her arms clinging to his broad shoulders, leaving long scratch marks along his shoulder blades. She clenches her lips closed tightly to keep from out loud as stars dance before her eyes.

The water gets hot before too long and everything about the encounter is intimate and relaxing. Their love making isn’t rushed, but rather slow and languid, a reveling in one another. It’s something Jinri has never experienced with anyone else that she’s ever been with. It’s the safest she’s ever felt with anyone.

Yongguk finally lets her come when the water starts getting cool and she’s starting to feel sore from being pounded into the tiled wall of the shower. She bites his shoulder as her rips through her powerfully, and Yongguk’s low grunts in her ear let her know that he’s reached his end as well.

They stay that way for a long time, the water still cascading down their shoulders. Jinri is so relaxed that she feels she could melt into a contented pile of goo on the shower floor and never move again, so long as Yongguk was there with you. She feels a sudden surge of affection and she tightens her arms around his neck, hugging him even closer. “I love you,” she whispers without thinking.

She panics the second the words leave her lips, and she can tell from the way Yongguk’s body stiffens under hers that the statement did not go unnoticed by him.

Yongguk pulls back to look at her, and there is a completely unreadable expression on his face. “What did you say?” His voice is low, almost dangerous.

Jinri feels a little like crying. Even if it’s true, she hadn’t meant to say it. Not out loud, anyway. She knows that she takes their relationship more seriously than Yongguk does, and she’s made a horrible mistake in saying those three little words. “I-uh-I mean…” But she can’t come up with any way to salvage this sudden situation.

Yongguk puts her down, and her legs are so wobbly that she can barely stand on them. Then he steps out of the shower, wraps a towel around his waist and leaves the bathroom without another word.

Jinri leans against the tiled wall and lets her tears mix with the water from the shower.

When she finally gets out, Yongguk is gone. He’s left the apartment altogether. Jinri doesn’t know what that means, but it seems like a pretty obvious ‘this relationship is over’ sign. She can’t believe she ruined the only good thing to happen to her in years by being stupid. But then again, it’s Jinri, so stupidity is only to be expected. She sort of hates herself right now.

She wakes Jinah up and, avoiding questions about why they’re not going to the park like Yongguk promised, she gathers their things and leaves the apartment before Yongguk can come back. She doesn’t want to face him and the inevitable breakup speech. It’ll be much easier for both of them if she just lets him do it over text.

But Jinri doesn’t hear from Yongguk over the next few days. She keeps her phone with her out of some sort of morbid expectation, but he doesn’t contact her. She does hear from Himchan, and she talks to the other boys at school, but Yongguk is achingly missing from her life. She just wishes he would go ahead and break up with her. It would make things so much easier. She hates waiting for the inevitable.

Eventually Yongguk does contact her, but not in the way she expected. Instead of messaging or even calling her, he shows up at the house of her foster family.

“Jinri!” her foster mother, who is starting to show with her pregnancy, calls to her. “You’ve got a visitor!”

Jinri comes downstairs, curious. No one has ever visited her at her foster home before. But there Yongguk is, standing in the doorway as if he’s the most comfortable person in the world.

“Hey,” he says casually, as if he hasn’t been MIA for the past five days.

“Hi,” Jinri replies warily, keeping her distance. She doesn’t know what’s going on and she doesn’t like being confused like this.

Yongguk clears his throat. “I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk.”

Jinri doesn’t want to go for a walk. She wants to fall into a deep hole and preferably die to avoid this embarrassment. But she doesn’t want her foster mom to think that anything is wrong. So she simply says, “Okay.”

Neither of them speak until they’re well away from the house. Then Yongguk clears his throat. “I wanted to talk to you about the other day,” he begins.

Jinri hurriedly cuts him off. “It’s okay. I ed up, I know. You don’t have to talk about it. You can just say you don’t want to see me anymore and we don’t have to be all awkward with each other.”

To his credit, Yongguk looks genuinely confused. “What the hell are you talking about? I was going to apologize for running out like I did. You just…you caught me really off guard with what you said.”

Jinri hates having to dissect the situation. She just wants it to be over and done with so she can die of her embarrassment. “I-I shouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry.”

Yongguk pulls her to a stop, forcing her to face him. “Did you mean it?” he demands. “Did you mean what you said?”

Jinri shuffles her feet without answering.

Yongguk grabs her shoulders and forces her to stand still. “Jinri, did you mean what you said?”

She jerks away. “Yeah, okay. I meant it. And I’m sorry but it’s how I feel.”

“Why would you apologize for that?” Yongguk demands, and if Jinri bothered to look up she would see that a broad grin has split across his face. “I’m glad that you told me your honest feelings.”

“Then why did you run away?” Jinri can’t help the petulant tone in her voice. “I haven’t heard from you in days.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Yongguk apologizes. “I just…it caught me really off guard. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.”

“So you ran-” Jinri begin hotly, but then she stops suddenly. “Wait, what did you say?”

He chuckles, that deep sound that sends shivers down her spine. “I love you too,” he says. “I think I’ve loved you since I first met you.”

“You hated me,” she accuses uncertainly.

But Yongguk only shakes his head. “I didn’t hate you. I hated how you acted and I hated that I was so attracted to you, but I never hated you.”

Jinri feels so overwhelmed by this information that she wants to sit down for a long moment to gather her thoughts. This has been a most unexpected turn.

But Yongguk doesn’t give her time to process much of anything. Before she can even react, he is getting down on one knee and pulling out a little velvet box.

“Oh my ing god,” Jinri breaths, and now she really does need to sit down because it’s incredibly likely that she’s going to pass out any second.

Whatever words Yongguk says goes in one ear and out the other; Jinri can’t even begin to process what he’s saying. All she knows is that when he extends the little box towards her with that question in his eye, she nods numbly. 

So who was expecting that?? Haha jk it was probably really, really obvious OTL but anyway. I thought about writing this long, adorable proposal but then I thought back to the way my fiance proposed to me and honestly I can't remember much of anything he said, only that I kept thinking "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" in my head haha