Author's Note: WARNING. AWKWARD NONSENSE AHEAD. DRIVE CAREFULLY.

***

Politely, Yesung waited for the person to move.

But Onew suddenly froze in his tracks, eyeing Yesung as though the Super Junior vocalist was an especially hard Sudoku puzzle.

Yesung pouted.

Onew stared.

Yeusng scratched his ear.

Onew still couldn’t remember why this random passerby seemed so incredibly familiar.

Finally, Yesung lost his patience.

“Excuse me, could I please ily lean onto that lamppost?”

“I’m sorry. I have no money with me.” replied Onew instantly.

“Yah! What the hell are you thinking?!” Yesung blurted out, cheeks completely red.

“Are you… on TV?” squinted Onew at Yesung.

“No. I’m in the street.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

“Oh.” repeated Onew. He didn’t want to be talking to a hooker, but didn’t know how to escape the conversation either.

“I’ve been in the street for half an hour.” said Yesung. He thought it was how people chat.

“I like chicken.” said Onew. He thought this was quite appropriate. Chicken is always appropriate.

“I like turtles.” said Yesung.

Onew smiled. He had struck a conversation, be it with a e or not.

Yesung smiled back at him. Both felt pretty proud of themselves. They’d made acquaintances with a random stranger on the street. Mad social skills, right?

“I’m waiting for a girl.” said Yesung. He thought he was pretty cool for saying so.

“I’m waiting for my GIRLFRIEND.” replied Onew. He was so damn badass!

Silence.

A very long silence.

They should get mad at each other now, right? They’re quite possibly dating the same girl!

But, if so, why’d she invite them both out here?

It just didn’t make any sense.

Onew scratched his head.

Yesung blinked.

“I really want to eat chicken.” confessed Onew. You know that wise old saying? When in doubt, CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN!

“Wise”, as in “Onew’s”.

“Old”, as in “invented just now”.

Yesung felt he was expected to reply. But he really had nothing to say.

“…Yes. You want chicken.”

“I don’t just want it. I want to EAT it.”

“…You want to eat it.”

“Yeah! I wanna! I wanna tear that warm soft crispy meat, and UGH! Rip it right from the bone and UGH just EAT it and UGH SO TASTY-”

So much for mad social skills. Onew sadly lowered his head.

Suddenly, Yesung felt like stung by an evil bee. He gazed around confusedly for the source of pain.

But it turned out it was Onew himself. When looking at Onew, Yesung felt as though looking in a mirror. And that made him very sad.

Sad enough to invite this stranger to dinner?

Onew glanced at his watch. She was late for FOURTY FREAKIN MINUTES!!!

Yesung looked at his watch, too.

Suddenly, both froze in paralysed realization.

The shy girl, his secret admirer, his first date and last night’s fantasy, she didn’t even exist.

“It must’ve been Jonghyun’s prank,” Onew thought. All suspicious thoughts of Kyuhyun having his fingers in it were just too horrifying to consider.

“It must’ve been GameKyu’s prank,” Yesung thought. And Yesung was right.

“I have no girlfriend”, admitted Onew. “I just realized, she was made up.”

“Made-up girlfriends are cute. They always compliment my muscles.”

Absolutely convinced he didn’t hear right, Onew just had to ask.

“… You have muscles?!”

“Sure I do!” claimed Yesung. He even rolled up the sleeves of his dripping wet shirt to show them.

Three. Four. Five seconds.

But no matter how long Onew stared, he still couldn’t see the smallest sign of any biceps, triceps, or any ‘ceps’ at all. Was it a muscle-CEPtion?

“…I don’t see any muscles.”

Yesung rolled his eyes. “They’re IMAGINARY muscles, of course! Don’t you see?”

All Onew could see was a pale, soft, gentle-looking arm.

Onew decided it was a beautiful arm.

“Yeah! Now I see them!”

Yesung smiled proudly, striking a very manly pose.

Onew thought he was definitely going to pee his pants from laughing. Yesung wasn’t far from it, either.

“YES! MAKE A FRIEND!” squealed a tiny voice in Onew’s head.

“NOW’S THE TIME! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!” encouraged Yesung’s brain.

But fear of embarrassment and very low confidence snickered from the shadows.”Poor, pathetic Yesung. So, you wanna kick us out? Out of our own home? AS IF!!!” mocked the demons.

“You’re so hopeless! You’re so socially awkward! Actually, weird and awkward in every possible way! How do you plan to make any friends with that ed up personality of yours?” ranted Onew’s mind.

“GET LOST!!!” screamed Onew and Yesung at the same time.

Onew blinked in surprise.

Yesung blinked in surprise. Then, he felt hurt. Unconsciously, he bit his lip.

Onew was hurt too. He also bit his lip.

Yesung didn’t quite apprechiate having to look at his own pathetic reflection all the time. It was very painful.

“Get lost!” repeated Yesung. No matter how hard he tried to make them convincing, his words still lacked venom.

“But,” confessed Onew quietly, “I already AM lost. A lost case. Everyone told me so.”

It was a sharp punch to Yesung’s chest.

“Me too.” admitted Yesung, his voice heavy with suppressed emotion. Right now, what Yesung would like most is to just hug this stranger and scream “YOU TOO??? YOU TOO??? ME TOO, DAMMIT!!!!!!”

“Wanna have dinner with me? We can eat chicken if you want to!” invited Yesung enthusiastically.

Then he halted, amazed. Stars were spinning in his eyes. He’d finally done it! He’d crossed the border, broken his limit! He was free!!!

But had he made a friend?

“No.” deadpanned Onew. “I’d rather not.”

Just when Yesung’s insides started to sink, Onew broke into uncontrolled giggles, throwing himself at his new buddy. “Just jokng!!! You think I’d deny CHICKEN??!!”

Hugging right there in the middle of the street, iron-faced strangers brushing against them, the two were in their own happy world, rainbows and all.

But suddenly, Yesung gasped out loud, pushing Onew away and staring at him with wide eyes.

“I… I don’t even know your name!!!” screamed Yesung, as though they were having , not merely hugging each other.

Onew then yelled so loud, the entire street froze in their tracks.

“OH. MY. GOD!!!!!… YOU… YOU’RE SUPER JUNIOR YESUNG!!!!!!

BUT…  WHY ARE YOU A E?????”

***

Author's Note: ... Don't ask. Or, ask, but don't expect a sane answer.

Author's Motherly Advice: And this is, children, why you should SLEEP and not just drink coffee instead. *sigh*