We talked and shared a lot –sadness and gloom, laughter and fun. They even relayed to me their family stories. They were truly sympathizing but I cheered them up saying:

“everything’s gonna be alright, don’t you guys worry”

I was dumb-founded of my own words. I tried to reconcile and internalize it’s meaning. They were indeed heart-chosen words. But, are they for real? I wondered and said to myself, “yeah, perhaps… even tomorrow never comes”

Our close ties continued. In our journey, we’ve been dedicated pilgrims. We seldom quarreled, and if we did, I always play the peacemaker. I make sure that we’re always well. I never wanted to see them sad, that’s why, I want to keep them well out of desolation.

This was what my dad told me before he died. He said, I should never let myself become unhappy for it would make him unhappy too. I loved my papa so much and I owe him much of my happiness in life admist all the difficulties and uncertainties and reciprocate the love that people gice to me.

He once said, “Sub Young-ah, I want you to always remember that the quality of life depends on how one loves the things he does, how he does the things he loves and how he loves the ones who love him…” and I always believe in that.

Then, the three of us started to go out and discover life at a different perspective. We tried a lot of teen stuff like calling out on malls, watching movies, surfing the net, star gazing, ect. Things that young people at the age of ten won’t dare to do.

We did almost all crazy stuff together. We shared our secrets to each other without a second thought –may it be familial or personal ones. But honestly, not all secrets were shared. There’s one big secret that Sunny would not want SungMin to Know. She only told me.

She simply likes him!

Every day, she scribbles on her diary SungMin’s name and how her simple appreciation grew into a complex LOVE. Actually, I sometimes acted as the bridge for the two of them, but later, I thought it wasn’t really a good idea. I mean, we’re supposed to be best friends –no more no less.

But, I did not want to offend Sunny, my best girl pal. Consequently, I also don’t want to fool myself. I, too, had loved SungMin the way I shouldn’t have had. So, I faked things with Sunny. I told her they two really looked cute together even if it hurts. What was important to me then, was their happiness and I’ll always be glad to have them happy. Because I loved them so much. And they’re the only one I had left.

Moreover, I wasn’t quite sure if until when tomorrow will come for me. I got a brain cancer, the penetrator of my parents’ death. And it runs in our blood. So whether I would like it or not, I am bound to accept it. It is my fate.

Now, I just always have to face life ready-on with no hesitation. I shall just have to live my life to the fullest until my time runs out.

Sunny and SungMin didn’t know about this. And truly, I’ve got no plan of telling them. I don’t want to share to them my burden, and most importantly, I don’t want them to see me meek and week and therefore… pity me…

I continually hid it from them. The next few days I had lived each day as if it were the last day, savoring each moment… every single minute… every single second with them.

Then, one night, when I was finishing off my copy of a fiction, SungMin rushed over to the house…