Luhan sits alone in his bedroom, longing for Sehun to just wrap his arms around him and feel his breath down his back. He wants Sehun to lean his lips close to his own, he wants Sehun’s presence to sweep him up and embrace him in a tight, long hug.

But no matter how much he wants Sehun back into his arms, he knew he couldn’t.

Yet Luhan knew he couldn’t just sit around all day, waiting and longing for the younger to come crashing back into him because this wasn’t a movie; Sehun wasn’t going to suddenly have all his memories returned with one blink of an eye, and Luhan knew better than to know Sehun’s memory loss was most likely permanent.

He could no longer feel the sharp sting up his heart anymore; all he felt was the strong determination and will to make Sehun fall in love with him all over again. And he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

But he knew he was the closest thing Sehun could call a friend; the younger’s parents had just left him off at Korea once he could function on his own again after the accident, and Sehun’s notorious clubbing only served to bring him a few drinking buddies, but not real friends.

The blond has heard the same words too many times, ‘I don’t remember, but my heart gives this sort of weird little thump, and it tells me something, but it doesn’t in the same time, it’s frustrating,’ and every time he does, he just wants to break down in anger because what did Sehun ever do to deserve such treatment?

It was like looking through frosted glass, knowing something was on the other side, but he couldn’t see it. No matter how hard he tried, Sehun couldn’t see anything but silhouettes and shadows.

Luhan walks down the aisle of the supermarket, reading down the list of what Sehun gave him and rolls his eyes; he was now serving as a personal maid, getting Sehun’s groceries and cooking dinner for him, but it was all voluntarily.

“Why are you always eating delivery food?” Luhan had asked the younger when he saw him making calls to the same delivery place for consecutive weeks already, “Don’t you cook?”

“It’ll be handy if I had ingredients, and a mom,” Sehun remarked, “But no, I don’t cook.”

“Well, it’s bad for you.”

“Oh, and like you’re really healthy?”

“I cook for myself, every night,” Luhan had defended himself, and he liked to think his cooking skills were considerable and quite the merit for a single guy, “That says something.”

Sehun’s attention had perked up at the statement, “Really? You cook? Then why don’t we have dinner every night before you get home? My room’s really near the café.”

And Luhan found himself obligated to kitchen duties at Sehun’s house every night; and he grins because it meant he was one step closer to the younger.

As he walked down the condiment and sauces, he spots Sehun’s doctor from a year ago, with his wife and children, and he smiles as the doctor looks over.

“Doctor Kim,” Luhan pushes his trolley further down, “Hi, it’s been long.”

“Ahh yes…Lu…” Doctor Kim pauses for a moment, “Han? Is it?”

“Yes, it is,” Luhan glances at his children before the doctor speaks up again.

“Sehun forgot to come for his check-up two days earlier, Mr. Lu,” He sounded like he was only half-serious, but still firm and professional all the same, “You should really keep track on him, and remind him about check-ups.”

“Ahh, really? I’m afraid I can’t, Doctor Kim,” Luhan looks down at his feet, “Sehun never really tells me about his check-up, you know, memory loss and all that jazz.”

Doctor Kim looks taken aback for a moment, “But I thought…anyways, you’d be happy to know he’s healing up well, his physical wounds all healed and back to normal.”

Luhan smiles in a weak attempt to joke, “But mentally, he isn’t remembering well, isn’t he?”

“His memory recovery is quite steady, really, he should be able to regain all his memories back very soon,”  Doctor Kim picked another brand of soy sauce, “He’s already started regaining a few months back, he tells me.”

Sehun hadn’t regained his memory one bit, Luhan was sure of it. Sehun had looked at him with the same stranger’s gaze until they had started talking; but was it just him or did he always seem to detect the little façade that glints in the younger’s eyes?

“Sehun, I need to use the computer,” Luhan calls outs, “For the recipes.”

“Go ahead, I’ll be here,” Sehun has his eyes glued onto the TV.

And Luhan steps in Sehun’s bedroom; messy and unruly as ever, but his desk always seemed to be properly arranged.  Luhan pushes away the guilt and opens the drawers one by one, and finally sees a brown envelope with the hospital’s stamp on it; he checks the documents and finds the latest report.

He skims through all the medical terminology and statistics he didn’t understand, he just goes straight to the doctor’s input in the lazy scribble; he squints in attempt to understand the writing and as he reached the bottom, Luhan holds his breath.

Oh Sehun’s memory loss is most definitely psychological and not afflicted with any psychical impact. Patient has already regained a full 90% of his memory.

Luhan checks the date again; the report was before Sehun had met Luhan for the first time since he moved back to Korea.

This meant Sehun knows and remembers who Luhan is; but he’s pretending not to.

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT ME MOVING TO LJ, AND MORE.

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