part one

There are many kinds of relationship, and once you step into it, you’ll be committed to something unwritten, but what can be felt.

“ Chanyeol,” a male student and also a close friend of Park Chanyeol, a tall hunk with dark brown shade on his hair, calls him up. They were getting engaged with a topic about ideal types and some cute girls in their high school and being the curious friend he is, Kim Jongin decides to ask, “ What’s your ideal type?”

Park Chanyeol’s right eye twitches as his lopsided grin surfaces. Playfully twisting his body and pretending to observe a few girls around him, he faces Jongin and answers, “ Someone with delicate body, pretty face, pretty eyes, and pretty –“

“ Huh,” Jongin frowns, “ What matters for you are only looks?”

“ That means I appreciate beauty!” Chanyeol points out and crackles a horrifying laugh. Jongin rolls his eyes and begins to move his chopstick (after he takes a fried shrimp from his lunchbox) to his mouth. “ What an .”

“ I also like perfect -“

“ Shut the up.”

“ ing sounds nice too-“

“ Park Chanyeol,” Jongin looks at him in disbelief, “ How could you-“

“ I’ll just tell Kyungsoo that you were talking about cute girls in our school if you dare to preach me.”

Jongin’s slanted eyes go wider as he screeches, “ It doesn’t mean I’m interested! I just found myself getting involved into this conversa-“

“ What conversation?” Suddenly, a curious voice coming from a certain owl-like-eyed man which causes Jongin’s body freeze and he looks up nervously through his fringes, meeting the other boy’s gaze. “ Nothing! It was only a random conversation between boys, Kyungsoo.”

“ Well, in that case Kim Jongin, I’m also a boy too.”

“ But you take the girl role in our relati-“ a loud smack on Jongin’s forehead follows, effectively shutting Jongin’s rambling up.

“ Idiot,” Kyungsoo mumbles before going back to his desk and ignores Jongin completely. Jongin whines because first, it ing hurts and second, Kyungsoo is being his cranky self. The tanned male mutters under his breath, something like, “It’s all your fault, Park Chanyeol.” and the latter maniacally cracks up. Jongin decides to deal with Kyungsoo later because the shorter boy’s mood hasn’t got better and if he is too stubborn to approach him, the likelihood of Jongin to receive another punch is quite high. Jongin shifts closer to Chanyeol and brings his index finger up, “ We aren’t done yet. Is there anyone who matches well with your ideal type?”

There’s a short moment when Chanyeol averts his gaze to somewhere – or someone – over his shoulder. He can see him, a guy dressed in loose uniforms and thick glasses. His messy eyes cover almost half of his face, because he is so immersed in his book.

After a quick silence Chanyeol shrugs and confidently answers, “ Maybe.. Jinri? She looks fine and perfect, really close to my ideal type. Because if I’ve ever had to pick a company, I’d prefer someone who’s a true beauty.”

Then Chanyeol stealthily steals a glance of that boy again, and somewhere in his mind, he wonders if that boy would show any reaction but sadly, he doesn’t.

“ Because I’m a hunk,” Chanyeol continues, ignoring the disgusted noises from Jongin, “ A beauty would be perfect for me, right?”

He still hasn’t elicited any response, but Chanyeol chooses to let it slide off. He knows everything’s been settled from the beginning. There is a contract, unwritten one, served as the proof to their benefits.

Between Chanyeol, and that thick-glassed boy.

Between the first and second period, which is time for lunch break, Chanyeol meets that boy in the hallway. The hunk stares before he finally calls him, “ Baekhyun.”

That boy, named Baekhyun, stops and slightly turns his body. Chanyeol passes him calmly but between his steps, he mumbles, “ I’ll come over to your place today.”

It is not just about crashing at your friend’s room. It’s something that can’t be expressed through words because it’s definitely something more, but it doesn’t mean anything more than comfort.

“ Alright.”

Yet Chanyeol’s face flushes, because it means a promise.

Their relationship started when Chanyeol got drunk. It was because his favorite girlfriend at that time just dumped him and Chanyeol felt horrible. She was a good kisser, and good at bed too. But the girl was starting to be more serious about relationship; even she talked about their future like getting into the same university, living together, everything. Chanyeol wasn’t prepared and not comfortable with the whole new idea of that serious relationship so he always tried to switch the topic. Eventually she got mad and they broke up. Chanyeol knew he had to take a few shots to relieve his annoyance, but he went too far. He went beyond his limit and soon, he found himself babbling nonchalantly and even the bartender pitied him.

Yet even though Chanyeol was drunk, he didn’t feel any regret after their break-up. It just felt horrible because Chanyeol got dumped, not the other way around like how he usually did, that all mattered.

Maybe I just feel purely irritated and insulted, yeah, Chanyeol thought as he took another glass, until he was slowly losing himself. All he remembered is he kept drinking and drinking, then when he walked home he staggered to his feet, swaying a little. Or much than he thought. The last thing he knew, he passed out and when he woke up, he found himself lying in a stranger’s bed.

It was Baekhyun’s bed. Chanyeol found the shorter boy preparing breakfast. Baekhyun noticed his presence and raised his brow. “ Feeling better? You were so wasted last night.”

Chanyeol groaned because his head was in pain, throbbing madly. He admitted he had drunk too much and Baekhyun just hummed in response. Chanyeol stared at him incredulously. “ You aren’t going to ask what happened to me last night?”

“ I’ve figured it out, pretty much. You just had a bad day after a break-up and you felt irritated because of your ex. You mumbled between your snores and your heavy blinks. You looked so pitiful so I brought you to my house because it’s nearer and- uh, basically I was going to say I don’t know your address.”

Chanyeol is talkative when he’s drunk, the boy himself noted down inwardly and wondered if there was any hole that could swallow him up. The taller awkwardly took a seat and watched as Baekhyun gave him toast as breakfast and Chanyeol pretty much knew his stomach was completely empty because it made a weird noise, as he smelled the toast. “ Eat it,” Baekhyun said and Chanyeol nodded after thanking the smaller. He ate a small piece of it and almost cried in delight because honestly, it tasted perfect. Hearing Chanyeol’s happy groan, Baekhyun chuckled quietly and his eyes turned into pretty crescents.

That time after listening to his quiet laugh and feeling stunned, Chanyeol didn’t know what had got into him because he suddenly asked, “ Do you have a lover?”

Baekhyun stopped placing the bread in his mouth and frowned. “ No.. Why?”

“ Say, would it be fun if you are to be in relationship with me?” Chanyeol honestly why he said that, he blurted it out of blue and he didn’t know how to stop so he ended, “ I’m just wondering.”

Baekhyun stared back at him and Chanyeol regretted why he asked that. He was the hunk, after all, and Baekhyun was just an ordinary bookworm. He wasn’t really everyone’s cup of tea because he was quiet, which could be concluded, he was entirely different from Chanyeol.

But what Baekhyun answered caught Chanyeol off guard.

“ If you only want a company, it’s okay,” Baekhyun shrugged, “ But were you asking that because actually you haven’t found someone important to you?”

Chanyeol dumbly nodded. Baekhyun rapped his fingers against the dining table but not saying anything. The silence was killing, though, and Chanyeol started wondering if he said something wrong.

“ Okay, you can come to see me anytime if you feel like to, until you find that right person.”

They have never gone beyond kisses.

It is funny, really, because Chanyeol seeks comfort and calmness. Baekhyun gives them and Chanyeol only receives. None of them complain because it’s purely their agreement. Chanyeol thought Baekhyun was a quite boring person but soon he figures out that he is more than a fraidy-cat.

Baekhyun is extremely a good kisser, better than his previous girlfriends. What’s better is, he draws out small and puffy moans every time they kiss. Chanyeol soon gets hooked and it’s becoming somewhat addiction to him.

It hits him a couple of days later. Chanyeol doesn’t find any reason to stop this kind of relationship and Baekhyun doesn’t complain because Chanyeol hasn’t yet found his true love.

He knows this will only last until he gets a new girl.

A girl, whom he will be head over heels in love.

It’s just a meaningless relationship. It’s not even a love either. Chanyeol only uses Baekhyun and the latter doesn’t seem to mind. When one day, Chanyeol asked why, Baekhyun just simply replied,

“ That day, I thought you were so lonely and helpless. I just could not help it when I remembered it.”

Chanyeol immediately assumes there are no strings attached in their relationship. They do it in favor of each other, so Chanyeol thinks, why not? It feels good, anyway.

But now when he sees Baekhyun’s flushed face after their kiss, Chanyeol stares at him a bit longer than usual. Deep down there, he wants to take the glasses off so he can feel Baekhyun’s small forehead on his, however, Chanyeol hesitates because he thinks if he does that, there’s no way of turning back.

‘No way of turning back’, as in, Chanyeol won’t see this relationship normally as before.

It’s nothing, really. Chanyeol insists the reason he wants to know about this is nothing more than just a curiosity. The round-eyed male sends a quiet glance to observe the other man who fixes his shirt up after the intense kiss. He squirms in his seat, feeling close to uncomfortable yet nervousness comes to follow after.

This is it.

“ Baekhyun, do you have an ideal type?”

That’s effective to stop Baekhyun’s movement. The question earns a careful look from the shorter and he continues buttoning up his shirt, as he looks a bit flustered.

Or perhaps he’s just as confused (and uncomfortable) as Chanyeol now.

“ Why are you asking that?”

Chanyeol raps his knuckles against the headboard and shifts his weight slightly on the elder’s bed. Chanyeol’s pair of eyes seemingly looks more preoccupied with the floors down there. “ Dunno,” he answers, “ I feel like.. asking?”

There’s an awkward, unexplainable silence that follows them after. Chanyeol begins to think that they should be discussing the weather instead. Yes, you really should, a corner of his mind speaks.

Yet somehow judging from Baekhyun’s puzzled expression, Chanyeol is unable to restrain himself when he blurts out again, “ Like you know, if you desire some specific characteristics in your ideal type?”

Chanyeol swears there is a hint of hesitation along with a careful series of thoughts because suddenly Baekhyun’s tip of nose crinkles. It’s that kind of habit when he’s uncertain about something. Chanyeol wonders again if he still has enough amount of patience because hell, it really takes a lot of time for Baekhyun to find a proper answer. Impatiently, Chanyeol wriggles his giant toes and slowly grits his teeth. Peeking with his peripheral sight at the glassed man, Chanyeol waits for an answer.

“ I-“ Baekhyun finally says, “ I have no idea.”

So much for patience needed.

“ What.. really?” Chanyeol frowns, “ Like, no idea at all?”

“ I just..” Baekhyun’s voice fades out a little, “.. haven’t given it any thought, so..”

“ Oh.”

That’s strange, Chanyeol blinks.

He’s never felt like this before. It’s unpleasant, bitter, sour, uncomfortable, and.. upsetting.

Like, he hoped that Baekhyun would give a quite definite answer or at least refer to someone.

But Baekhyun has been spending most of his time with Chanyeol, and the latter is pretty sure Baekhyun hadn’t had any experience before he met Chanyeol.

Then, did you hope that it was you?

Chanyeol is the kind of guy who easily gets lonely.

It’s weird enough because Chanyeol can get any girls he wants. Name it, and she’ll gladly come to him. Chanyeol used to, though. He has experienced a lot of things that Baekhyun hasn’t. But Baekhyun doesn’t feel lonely because he’s found what shoos away the loneliness; books and abundant knowledge. Chanyeol is sure Baekhyun never falls in love so what would make him lonely? He has a caring family, too.

The total opposite from Baekhyun is Park Chanyeol. His relationships were nothing more than one-night-stand. They didn’t last, because they did not hold much meaning of “forever”. Hell, they even didn’t have “forever”. Chanyeol’s parents let him do whatever he likes, so Chanyeol sometimes gets lost in a train of thoughts of, “ what do I really want the most?”

When Baekhyun came into his life, Chanyeol finds himself asking about it less frequently yet even though like that, he still feels incomplete.

What is our relationship?

What am I doing now with him?

Are we going to be like this forever?

No, Chanyeol assures himself, This relationship only lasts until you find a girl you love the most, hence it doesn’t mean anything with him.

Yet, Chanyeol falls back into his drooped shoulder stance, wondering about some more questions.

There’s something that bugs Chanyeol recently, and it’s about Baekhyun.

Chanyeol can’t seemingly read his expressions or know what he thinks. He only stays expressionless, drones out, hums, nods, shakes his head, and other simple gestures. Even though the light is still bright or the sky shades darker, Baekhyun doesn’t seem affected. No matter what kind of words thrown to his face, Baekhyun never complains. Chanyeol guessed it might be because Baekhyun liked silence better but it doesn’t seem like that.

So every time after they kiss passionately, Chanyeol doesn’t know if Baekhyun minds about their activity so much or he just shrugs it off like not a big deal at all. It sounds like only Chanyeol who keeps thinking about them repetitively, but he only finds a corner. He’s stuck. He doesn’t find any coherent answer that fills up the gap in his heart. Chanyeol, honestly, wants to know what Baekhyun thinks about him. He assumes a lot of things, but the worst he can come up is, maybe Baekhyun considers their relationship is purely “friends with benefit” excluding the part or maybe Baekhyun is just being kind so he helps Chanyeol out from loneliness.

Chanyeol’s left eye twitches at the thought.

One day, Chanyeol walks down the street alone. His eyes recklessly sweep every display in the each shop he walks past. There is nothing that can pull Chanyeol’s interest. He only sees ice cream stall, boutique, bookshop, stationery store, and a couple of cafes. He asks himself for what he takes a walk to begin with, but Chanyeol reminds himself again that he’s doing this because Baekhyun is still busy with his science project and his friends were being jackasses because they preferred to sleep instead of strolling around.

Really, and Chanyeol doesn’t take the “going home” option because nobody’s home and there’s no interesting TV show. Plus, he has finished all of his games and it just adds his boredom.

He follows to where his legs carry him. He presses his lips altogether as he begins to think that probably it’d be better if he just stayed at home and took a nap instead of walking alone like an idiot.

Then, his steps get halted when his eyes are fixated on something displayed in a jewelry shop.

It’s a pearly chain bracelet, radiating its unique elegance through the store and Chanyeol likes to think that it blinds everyone from looking at another jewelries. Unconsciously, Chanyeol steps in and shuffles closer to get a better view of the bracelet. It’s so pretty, and Chanyeol is sure it’ll get multiple times prettier if it’s worn around someone with pale skin.

Baekhyun’s skin is pale, isn’t it?

After thinking like that, he inhales a sharp breath and widens his eyes. He can’t believe that the first person crosses his mind is Baekhyun but at the same time, it doesn’t feel weird.

I wonder.. if Baekhyun thinks about me often like I do.

“ Chanyeol, what date is today?”

Chanyeol has to blink twice before his mind registers the question. “ Uh,” he checks his phone, “ 29^th of April.. Why?”

Baekhyun nods and goes back to his book. “ Just wondering.”

They are at Baekhyun’s room because Chanyeol asked him to tutor the taller boy science due to the test tomorrow. Chanyeol pries off the thought of kissing him senselessly because Baekhyun looks like he lets his guard down. Soon, a silence slips back into the room and it is already a quarter past two in the afternoon. A small sigh rolls past Chanyeol’s lips twirl unamusedly at the science book before his eyes. He streches out his limbs, feeling up the cracking bones and Chanyeol groans a little. Baekhyun glances up at the other boy and furrows. “ Tired already?”

“ Quite so, yeah.”

“ Well, no wonder,” Baekhyun agrees, “ We’ve been studying for four hours straight. Let’s take a break.” Chanyeol impatiently nods and he rolls over the floor. He promptly surpassed the urge to moan in delight as the coolness of the floor pierces into his skin. It’s perfect, really. All Chanyeol needs now is to cool down.

“ Do you want to eat something?”

“ Like what?”

“ Um, maybe sauté potatoes and grilled fish?”

“ What?” Chanyeol rises up quickly and stares in disbelief. “ Are we going to order to somewhere?”

“ No,” Baekhyun answers as he rounds the corner of his room to pick up his charged phone, “ Wait let me text my mom first – what the hell – whatever. Uh, and, what I’m going to say is, I can cook.”

That’s surprising. Chanyeol almost bulges out his pupils and his voice goes one octave higher but the deep timbre makes him sound like a normal boy (not someone with voice that feels like it’s coming from his feet). Baekhyun eyes at him weirdly. “ What? When I decided to live in the apartment, mom insisted I had to learn cooking. That’s not a big deal..”

“ I just..” Chanyeol blinks, “ didn’t know you can cook.”

“ Well, yeah. That’s because I never cook for you before,” Baekhyun points out, “ This will be your first time. I hope it won’t be a mess. Wait here.”  Then he saunters away to the small kitchen outside the room, cornered on this third floor after grabbing some meat and other ingredients from his small fridge. Chanyeol watches him walking out, while the growling sound in his stomach is dwindling gradually.

Baekhyun spends half an hour in the kitchen and comes back with a savory dish and two bowls of rice. Chanyeol springs out of the bed and shuffles closer to Baekhyun, waiting patiently the other boy to prepare their meals. “ Here, your chopstick,” Baekhyun says, “ And go ahead.”

Chanyeol figures out he will enjoy this food soon and damn he’s right. His saliva almost drops and he moans happily. “ This is amazing!” Chanyeol blurts. “ If only you could cook for me again.” Baekhyun ducks his head a little to hide his face beneath his fringes and mumbles, “ Thank you.. and, well, I will.”

Chanyeol abruptly stops eating and realizes Baekhyun’s face is a little bit flushed.

Maybe he’s embarrassed, Chanyeol thinks.

Then again, another thing hits him instantly that, Baekhyun just makes another promise with him.

Maybe their relationship is something that evolves around promises and Chanyeol decides that, he doesn’t dislike it any bit.

And why is my heart feeling really warm?