Himchan sat wearily, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat as he observed the figure lying down on the white hospital bed. The man looked awful, all covered in bandages as wounds heavily decorated his broken body- the result of a really bad car accident.

He frowns at the sight of the other, wondering if it was a good decision that he be the one to watch over the patient, after all, he hasn’t seen him in over a year. He wonders how the man would react if he were the first person he would see when he wakes up.

Admittedly, he wonders why he even went to the hospital immediately when the call came in, he also wonders why would they call him, of all people. Don’t they know that the two of them were practically on non-speaking terms? Himchan tried to explain the situation to the doctor when he arrived, but the doctor simply said that he was the only contact they could find and it would be best if he stayed until the man had woken up.

Himchan shifts his position, closing his eyes as rests his forehead on his hands. His thumb and pinky finger massaging both sides of his temple as he waited there longer. The pounding headache that resulted from the lack of sleep was killing him, it didn’t even help that he had to face this man all of a sudden in such terrible conditions. He groans to himself because he wasn’t his best self when he’s tired. He couldn’t control the decline of his thoughts either as he also had left his medicine at home in a rush to get here.  It’s a terrible day, he thinks to himself. He took a deep breath to try and calm down his nerves, then standing up all of a sudden. Himchan figured that since he’s in a hospital anyway, he might as well ask if they have pills fit for his conditions too.

He silently escaped the room, his feet treading slowly as he went down the hallway to the reception table. The receptionist entertained him with a smile, then asking Himchan about what he needed. He furrowed his eyebrows and he the asked if he could get anti-depressants and an Advil.

The nurse frowned, shaking her head at Himchan’s request. She had informed him that he needed a doctor’s prescription for the anti-depressant, but she followed it up by giving him an Advil, and a cup of water. Himchan managed to smile at the nurse’s kind gesture; he gave her a nod as a sign of his thanks before popping the Advil in his mouth and downing it with water.

He walks back to the room, taking his time as he filled his eyes with the plain white walls of the hospital. He doesn’t like hospitals, the sterile smell of the air reminds him of the time he once spent inside one, but unlike most people, no one visited him, not even once. Himchan heaves out a heavy sigh; making a mental note to always, always bring his medicine next time. He frowns because he realizes that up until now he still couldn’t help himself without depending on the pills itself.

He finally arrived at the room and he was taken aback because the man was already awake when he had opened the door. Himchan froze from where he was standing, eyes widening as he watched the other man move, rubbing his palms over his eyes, the man’s deep voice echoing through out the room as he grunts in pain.

“What the.. everything hurts..” The man spoke lowly; he was obviously in pain, wincing at every tiny move while he tried to sit himself up.            

“Don't move too much, you'll hurt yourself even more." Himchan couldn't believe that he dared to speak without hesitation, like a habit that doesn't die. It has always been like this between them before, the man does something reckless, and all he could ever do was reprimand him. His voice captured the man's attention and he frowns that it did.


"Ugh, what the happened?" The man persistently kept moving around, removing his hands from his eyes, and then squinting slightly as he tried to capture the figure standing by the door.

Himchan felt so self-concious as he watched the patient slowly focus on him; he wanted to disappear right at that moment. He was so sure that he would be asked to go away as soon as the man realizes who he is. 
Himchan clenched his fists, preparing himself for the pain and humiliation that was about to fall upon him. He bites his lower lip and frowns as he watched the man’s expression change. The man furrowed his eyebrows, lips curving down at the sight of him. He knew he shouldn’t have stayed. What was he thinking anyway? Before he could say anything the man spoke ahead, and it greatly surprised him that it was nothing he could have expected.

“Did the doctor send you?” The man voice dropped and Himchan felt his world crumble down. Yongguk must be upset to see him- no he must have been disgusted to see him, and even if he knew it would happen, he still felt sick to his stomach. He shouldn't have stayed. He should've ce he saw Yongguk move, but he couldn’t help but stay. Again and again.










"Yes. Well, technically. I'm sorry, Yongguk. I'll go now..get better soon."


His voice quivered as his foot shifted to the other direction. He was really leaving this time and he wondered to himself for a split second, if he could bear to turn away again for good. Before taking his first step, the elder’s shaky voice stopped him from completely darting away.

“That's a…shame. I don't.. want you to leave.” The man’s voice was gently clad with happiness besides the stutters caused by the pain in his body. “I'm so lucky to wake up to the most beautiful person ever."


Himchan was shocked, or dumbfounded should be a better use of word. The way the older had complimented him reminded him of the time when they had once been together, when they were all over each other and the man would always whisper to his ear, sweet nothings, like the one this man just uttered. And that made his heart clench, because it was all but a memory, the man in that memory shouldn’t be the same man now. He shouldn’t be showered with such words because he definitely didn’t deserve it. And he definitely didn’t expect it to come in this way again.

"S-stop please. Don't play with me, Yongguk."
His voice tears as he turned back to face Yongguk, a thick lump suddenly filling his throat, choking his words and ultimately not letting him breathe.

"What? No. I’m not lying, keke. So..you know me..?" The man fought to open his eyes despite the cut over his left lid that was greatly hindering him from doing so. He stared with eyes half lidded, and yet all focus was on Himchan’s figure. The man’s dark hair, his pale face, and his shaken stance, but seemingly only seeing beauty.

"What do you mean?" Himchan was stupefied at the question. Know? Of course he knows him. Himchan knows every detail, every note, and almost the whole of Bang Yongguk’s being. They hid nothing from each other, or almost nothing. He wonders now as he stared curiously at Yongguk; who was smiling at him with all gums showing, he wonders what Bang was thinking. What on earth did he inhale that made everything suddenly fade away. The man signals him to move closer, and Himchan blindly followed as the man squinted at Himchan’s drawing figure.

"Oh right, of course. You must know me.” Himchan froze. So, everything is clear to Yongguk now. Why isn’t he being pushed away? The younger took a step back but the patient spoke louder this time. “You must be my nurse.. How stupid of me." Yongguk chuckles, concluding that his name must be written at the door outside of his room, also that the beautiful figure standing outside was probably the one asked to monitor him. Why else would anyone dare to visit him? He practically doesn’t have many friends, and he felt lucky to have woken up to someone, as he felt cared for. But that bubble of his, that imagery, was something Himchan knows only but to be a lie. The younger was afraid; if it’s like this then it must mean that Yongguk are missing some pieces.

"No, I'm not your nurse. Don't you.. remember?"
He asks cautiously, afraid of being set off the wrong way. Or being tricked, taking part on some twisted prank. But the genuine smile that was given to him by the man, all his teeth showing, Himchan would know if Yongguk was truly being honest, he remembers that face because it was that face that Himchan loved seeing the most.

"I remember…driving, then next thing I know I’m waking up here. Let's just say I'm lucky to wake up to an angel's face." Yongguk smiled brightly as he looked at Himchan’s face. Yongguk doesn’t see it, but all Himchan could feel inside him were daggers, stabbing him profusely with every words he couldn’t accept, and when he finally has built himself down, a round of alcohol would drench his still open wounds. Trying to heal him fast, but painfully so. Yongguk’s voice had that effect on him, and as much as he would want to deny it, he couldn’t reject that gentle smile, but he had to lie to himself, he had to try harder to stop the older, because it’s temporary and soon he will wake up from his bliss.

"...this is too much now."
Was all he could manage to say without breaking down. But the older mustn’t have heard him because he kept talking to Himchan.

"You're really beautiful.. how do you know me?"
Himchan is sure now. It can only mean one thing, why Yongguk suddenly acts this way towards him, why he hears Yongguk compliment him again, why he is seen beautiful by the elder when he knows what he did to him. It can only mean that and Himchan is afraid. Because it means that he is the bearer of the pain, and because it means that Yongguk’s smiles are half lies. Though it hurts for Himchan to say this out loud, to fill the room with words that are- were ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’. He didn’t want to say it again, but he feels that he has to, to not cheat Yongguk again. He battles himself and yet, it escaped his lips.

"Yongguk, I'm your fiance.."
The younger exhales, his heart was being crushed in each millisecond as the man before him changed expressions greatly. Like how a person’s expression would change if he was told that he had just won the lottery.

"What? Are.. you.. even.. serious? I must have really hit the… jackpot then. H-how did we meet? This is unbelievable ah.. When are we getting married? ahh, this is great, good job.. good job.." Himchan couldn’t watch anymore as Yongguk’s expression seemed so overjoyed, relieved, and shocked at the same time. The older went on about: ‘how he couldn’t believe that the beautiful man in his room is his; that they are together and it must’ve been a miracle. The heavens must have blessed him because such a person in his life is something the older didn’t expect to be given.’ The older man laughs to himself and closes his eyes, tears almost dropping at the corner of his eyes.

Himchan’s entire being has been torn to shreds by now, he needed his medication now more than ever because what he had to say next would probably send him to disintegration. All the more, he couldn’t even fathom how the elder’s painfully beautiful expression would change immediately as he drops these 2 words; words that killed him a million times to say out loud.

"E-ex Fiance."
Himchan whispers begrudgingly

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This would be my 2nd long chaptered fic. (I can't committ honestly, but hey I have plans to finish so..)

Oh how is it so far? I actually drafted CH2 but I'm quite unsure yet so I'm writing a timeline now~

Comments are most appreciated and I hope you subscribe as well!

<3 Dani