Baby talk about me
Baby talk about you
Baby talk about us
Yeah, we endured through all this way
But now, everything is so confusing

[M.I.B - Worry about yourself first]

Jin

I enter the entertainment building. Taehyung have written me some text messages that he needs to meet me here. I don’t know why but he almost begs me to come to the studio. And I couldn’t say no when I imagine how he starts to pout like a little child. I smile a bit. Sometimes I have the feeling that Taehyung is my child and I have to take care of him. But then there are moments when I notice how grown up he is.

I take the elevator and left this at the right floor. I walk over to the recording room and I already hear some music from the inside. I open the door and enter the room with a smile. But this fades away when I see who sits there – Nam Joon. With wide eyes I look at him and bite my lower lip. This can’t be true… I was supposed to meet Taehyung and not Nam Joon. Still I can’t really talk to him. The past days we filmed our new MV, went to photo shootings and so I have to meet the others again. I joke around with Taehyung and also Yoongi seems to be happy finally. Jimin tells me that he and Hoseok finally talk and are a couple now. I’m so happy for these two, finally Yoongi don’t have to suffer anymore.

But with Nam Joon it was differently.

We haven’t really talked with each other. Just some typical things like ‘Hello’ ‘How are you’ and ‘Bye’. I just can’t talk to him. I can’t. Whenever I want to talk to him I feel how my heart beats faster. How my hands start shaking and I just want to hug him. I want to feel him so close to me and enjoy my time with him. I love him; I love him so much that it hurts. It hurts to see him with the others and one of the most things which hurts: he didn’t call me. Now I almost two weeks at ToppDoggs dorm and he didn’t call me. He didn’t even ask me how I feel or if I could come back. The others say I should come back and that they miss me. But Nam Joon didn’t say anything to me.

Then he turns around in his chair and look at me. His eyes winded and he gasps for air. “Jin”, he says but I shake my head. “I expect Taehyung here…”, I tell him but then he stands up. I take a few steps back and he let out a sigh. “Jin… please Jin come here”, he says but I just raise an eyebrow. What? I just look at him and don’t move a bit. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what he wants to tell me. There is silence between us and he looks at me. We didn’t say anything and just stand there. But then I close the door behind me and walk over to the younger on. I feel how my legs feel like jelly and I want to run away.

When I stand in front of me I can see his eyes. I can see how sad he is and they were red from crying. I bite my lip again but then he puts his strong arms around me and pulls me closer to him. “Nam Joon”, I mumble but he shakes his head. “Don’t say anything Jin”, he says and I obey him. Slowly I put my arms around his side and close my eyes.

We just stand there and hold each other. And somehow this give me so much power and I feel so safe now. He holds me tight to his strong body, he hears his breath and I can feel how his hearts beat. Slowly I clings into his and burry my face into the crook of his neck. I breathe against his skin and he pulls me closer to him. I have the feeling that he don’t want to let me go. That he will hold me forever – and I enjoy this feeling. It feels so good, so good that Nam Joon is so close to me. But then I feel something wet on my neck. And then I realize that he shakes a bit. I lift up my head and look at him.

He cries.

In shock I look at him. Tears running down his cheeks, his eyes were totally wet and his lips were shaking. “Don’t look at me”, he says with a weak voice. But I shake my head. I lift up one of my hands and wipe away some tears. It hurts so much to see him like that. It almost causes also to cry but this won’t help him now. I know this. I still wipe away his tears when he grabs my hand and look at me. “Jin… I…”, he begins but his voice breaks again. I shake my head a bit. “Please Nam Joon… calm down, take a deep breath”, I tell him and he nods a bit. He takes some deep breath and close his eyes. He just stands there and hold my hand.

Then he raise his voice again: “I’m really sorry that I have hurt you… that I have hurt you so much in the past days…weeks...”. I look at him a bit confuses. What does he want me to tell? But then he continues and grabs also my other hand. I look down to our hands and I enjoy this pictures. His hands holding mine carefully and he runs with his thumbs over the back of my hand. Again I look at him. “Jin… I know I can’t fix that… the pain I cause you… I can’t describe it… I…I”, he looks at me but I shake my head. “Calm down Nam Joon”, I tell him again and squeeze his hands a bit. Just to comfort him a bit more.  He nods again. Never again I have seen him like this. He looks so sad and he didn’t know what to say. My Nam Joon. Don’t be so sad, please.

“Okay… I…”, he takes a few steps back and grab a bottle of water. He drinks a few sips before he shakes his head and look at me again. Finally he stops crying. “What I wanted to say is… that I never meant to hurt you Jin. Do you remember when we had kissed in the kitchen?”, he says and I nod immediately. How could I forget that? This was one of the days were I realize that I love him. And with each day my love grows for him. I fall harder for him every day. The first day I meet him was one of the best days in my life. “I… I really enjoyed kissing you, to hold you but I was afraid. I was so afraid of your reaction. And after I said these words to Taehyung back then… I realize how much I have hurt you. And with that I… I”, he takes a deep breathe again “That I’m a horrible person. That I don’t deserve you. You are such a lovely and gentle person and I just would ruin you”.

“Stop this!”.

Nam Joon winces a bit and looks at me with wide eyes. I shake my head. “I don’t want to hear that. I don’t want to hear that you think you are a bad person. You’re not. You are… You are so much more. You take care of us, you are such a passionate musician and you always think about the others instead of you. So shut up and don’t say anything like that!”, I almost scream at him but I get so angry. How could he think about himself that way? HOW? I don’t want him to feel like this about himself. I want that he is happy. “Don’t say anything like this in front of because you know how much I love you”.

He looks at me before he looks down to his feet again. He didn’t say a word. I feel how my eyes get watery and shake my head. Hastily I wipe over my eyes and try to calm myself down. Then I hear how he walks over to me and I lift my head. “Jin… don’t cry”, he says and through my hair. I nod a bit and look away again. I don’t know what to say. Also I don’t know what to think. His words confuse me. That he didn’t deserve me… I look at him and I can see how he fights with himself. “Let it out Nam Joon”, I tell him and he close his eyes for a second before he looks at me. “Don’t you realize what I want to say you with these words? I… I love you Jin. I have always loved you but I was so afraid. And then I think that I don’t deserve you and I always have hurt you. I was afraid that I will only hurt you and I will never make you happy… and you deserve someone who makes you happy an make you laugh every day”, he says.

Now I’m the one who doesn’t know what to say.

I look at him and blink a few times. “Y… You love me?”, I manage to ask and he just nods. Still I just look at him and bite my lip again. What should I say? What should I do? I don’t know. So I look at him with a soft smile. „So… you know that I also love you“, I mumble and also Nam Joon smiles a bit. Slowly I understand his words and they reach my head and my heart. And I just hug him again. I still really can’t believe it but I’m so happy. I gasp for air and close my eyes. “I love you… I love you”, I whisper again and again. It feels so good to tell him that finally. To tell him that I love him.

I hear a slight laughter from him and he through my hair. “I love you too”. And this even sounds better.

We left the studio together but we didn’t go back to the dorm. We want to have some time for ourselves. I don’t want to share my Nam Joon with the others right now. My Nam Joon… I let out a soft giggle. And then Nam Joon looks at me with a soft smile. We lie on a big bed in a hotel room, watch a movie which runs on the television and just enjoy each other company. We lie there only in our shorts and shirts. Also we have bought some sweet, fruits and drinks. Then Nam Joon lies down in the soft, big pillows and look at me. He opens his arms and smiles a bit. “Come to me… my princess”, he says and I let out a giggle again. “I’m your princess?”, I ask him when I lay down in his arms. He puts his strong arms around me. “Yes you are”, he buries his face in my hair “My princess… and I’m the beast”. I laugh a bit at these words. “You’re the beast? No… No Nam Joon“, I tell him and caresses his side. “But I’m Rap Monster… So I’m the beast”, he says and place a kiss on my neck.

“Mhm, but do you remember ‘The Beauty and the Beast’?” I ask him and he nods a bit. “The beast turns into the handsome prince after the Beauty tells him she loves him… So you aren’t a beast, you are also a prince”, I tell him. Nam Joon laughs again and bites me in my neck. I let out a soft groan while Nam Joon still laughs. “You have too much fantasy”, he says and place a kiss on my cheek. I lean closer to him and shake my head. “I don’t have too much fantasy”, I tell him but he shakes his head. “You have… now shut up my princess”, he says but I open my mouth again to say something but he kisses me then. “Nam Joon”, I mumble and smile at him. But he shakes his head and every time I want to say something he kiss me then.

“Nam Joon, stop!”, I finally manage to say before he kiss me again. I hit him slightly on the chest but the taller one grabs my wrist and pulls me down to the bed. I still laugh and try to escape his kisses until I land on the floor. “Jinnie!”, he sits up and looks down to me but I still laughs. I can’t. My back hurts a bit but I don’t care. I’m just so happy to be with him. Carefully he pulls me up in his arms again and presses me against him. “Do you have hurt yourself somewhere?”, he asks me and sounds worried. I shake my head and kiss him softly. “Don’t worry Joonie…”, I grab some of the fruits we have bought and feed him with that. He softly kiss my fingertips after this and look me into my eyes. I bit my lip again before he put his arms around me and let himself fall back on the bed with me on top.

Okay... this is it D:

The last chapter of this fanfic only the epilogue is missing... ahha ;w;

I hope you enjoy this chapter ♥