CHAPTER 2

Any guy in this whole company could be the guy who took my picture. I felt slightly disappointed that I lost my favorite charm bracelet in the whole wide world. I sighed and headed up the stairs to the third floor to the dance studio. As I walked up the stairs feeling dejected, I accidentally bumped into someone and almost fall over.

Two strong arms grabbed me by the wrist and went around my waist, preventing me from falling down to break my neck. “Neo gwenchanhni (are you okay)?” I heard a voice ask. I opened my eyes slowly and to my surprise, I saw Lee Joon from MBLAQ! “Um...neo gwenchanhni (are you okay)?” he asked again.

“Y-Ye...” I said slowly before I asked him to remove his arms from me. “G-Gamsa-hamnida...”

He leaned down to my face and grinned. “Joh-ayo (good), be careful next time, eoh?” he said, grinning. I nodded slowly and then, a guy bumped into Lee Joon and both of them fell down the stairs. My eyes widened in surprise and I sighed. And I’m the one who’s supposed to be careful...Aigoo!

I walked downstairs as the guy mumbled an apology and ran away. Lee Joon was laying down on the ground and I shook his arm. “...Um...you okay there?” I asked, still shaking his arm. He groaned and I helped him stand up. It was then that I noticed  the bruise on his elbow. “Lee Joon sshi, you scraped your elbow!”

He looked at his right elbow. “Ah, ye...you’re right. Don’t worry about it,” he said, smiling. I looked up at him.

“YA! Do you have to be so nonchalant about this?! What if it gets infected!? Don’t tell me to take care of myself and then be like this! Gaja (let’s go).” I said, a little frustrated.

He shook his head and smiled wryly. “It’s okay, really. I’m fine.”

I turned around and glared at him, grabbing his wrist in the process. “You’re bleeding, how is that fine!? Come!” I said, dragging him to the nearest dance studio. He was reluctant but I kept glaring t him until he shut up and went with it. “Sit down.” I told him. pointing to the benches by the wall.

He sighed and sat while I rummaged my bag for a handkerchief and wet it. He eyed me curiously and then asked, “...Ah, I don’t know your name. Are you a trainee?”

I walked over to him, raising his elbow and wiped away the blood. “Kim Seon Na. I used to be a trainee,” I told him.

He looked at me and smiled. “Really? Are you debuting?” he asked.

I nodded. “Something like that but I’m only debuting after half a year or so. I actually just signed a contract with Jun Ki oppa today,”

“You excited?”

“I am but I thought it’d feel different after signing the contract, like a sense of accomplishment... but it doesn’t feel any different.”

He grinned. “I understand tha-AH!!” he yelped as I put on a few drops of anti-septic on it. “YA! What was that for?!”

“Geuleon agicheoleom gulji malja (don’t be such a baby)”. I turned to him and handed him a bandage I found in my bag. “Yeogi (here), you have to use that.”

Lee Joon sshi took the bandage from me and put it on his elbow. “Gumaweoyo (thanks).”

“I have to go...thanks again for helping me out back there, Lee Joon sshi. Annyeonghaseyo.” I bowed slightly and turned to the door.

“Jamkkan (wait)!” he said before I left. I turned back around to face him. “Seon Na sshi, chughahabnida (congratulations)! If you need anything, call on me, Joonie sunbae!” he said, jokingly with a smug smile on his face.

I couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his own ego. “Sunbae (senior)? Lee Joon sshi, neo (you)...have a long way to go before I call you my sunbae (senior). You can start by taking care of yourself, eoh?” I replied, still giggling.

He faked an angry expression. “Ya, Kim Seon Na, neo (you) dare call me so impolitely?!” he said, teasingly. I laughed at his funny expression. “You’ve got guts.”

I grinned and nodded. “Mullon (of course), you have to be brave if you’re an idol, majji (right)?”

“Right. Well, I have to get going now, remember, call your sunbae if you ever need my help.”

“Annyeong!”

***

Lee Joon sunbae seem very childish to me at first but I knew that there was more to him than meets the eye. I received a call from my friend, Jenni, who was a trainee like I was just yesterday. “Yeobseo (hello)? Jenni sshi!”

“Chughahabnida (congratulations) Seonnie!! I heard you’re going to be an idol! We have to celebrate!!!” she squealed.

“Gumaweoyo (thanks) Jenni, but I have dance practice to go to right now but how about tomorrow at the old café? I’ll meet you there at 9.” I suggested.

“Okay, see you then. Bye-bye Seonnie!”

“Bye-bye.”

I hung up the phone and headed towards the third floor where my new dance teacher was. When passed by a certain room, I saw Lee Joon sunbae practicing his dance routines with the other group members of MBLAQ. The way they danced was almost effortless to them and to me it seemed impossible. It was as if realization had finally hit me when I watched them dance and sing. They were in a whole other level from me and for me to get to the point where dancing like that would be easy...seemed impossible.

I couldn’t stand watching them so I went to the dance studio where my dance teacher was. He was a buff looking guy who was skinny and seemed flexible. He said his name was Mr. Jin. I was taught a number of dances that were in a whole different level to the dances taught to the trainees. They required a lot of effort and energy. I kept trying but each time I tried to put in that energy, to the trainer, it seemed like I wasn’t giving it my all.

After a few hours of practicing, Mr. Jin told me to stop. He seemed frustrated and I was too. He turned to me and told me to go home for the day. “Seon Na, I have told you this repeatedly! When it comes to dancing, you have to give it your all! The audience can and will see that you’re not putting all of your energy into your dancing! You’re supposed to be giving it a 110% to give the best sow to your audience but you’re not!” he yelled, angrily.

I looked down at my feet and said, “How can I give my 110%?” I looked up at him, slightly angry. “My body can’t handle that amount of pressure! In case you haven’t been told about my condition, I am trying my best but my body can’t handle it! It’s not my fault I was born this way!!!”

He looked at me and sighed. “Go home. Tomorrow, I want no excuses involving your inability to do the dance routine because of your condition. I know about your condition and I don’t want that as an excuse!”

“IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE!!!”

“JEONGMAL (REALLY)!??! From what I heard about you from the other trainers and Jun Ki hyung, despite your condition, you continue to work hard and you don’t let anyone treat you any different from it. If this is how you really are when things get tough, you have no right to be in this industry or as an idol.”

Mr. Jin left the room and  slammed the door behind him. I slid down to the floor and curled up in a ball, thinking about what Mr. Jin had said. He was right... what am I really doing? I can’t be an idol like this. Everyone already knew it was impossible for me. Should I give up?