Jonghyun-centric; 519 words

a/n: yay, more of the wolf!au that no one really wanted. click on the links for the first drabble and also #1.

Jonghyun didn’t choose to stay in solidarity at first.

He had wanted only distance but he got much more than that, more so because of the ever present fear of being caught as a monster invaded his every thought. He didn’t want any of his friends to witness when he lost it, that piece of humanity that he thought he always had a good grip on. His body contorted and reshaped itself, and the Jonghyun on the outside wasn’t the only one changing―the one on the inside changed too.

The last thing he wanted was for anyone to see him turn into an animal.

Going down this road was achingly lonesome, but he chose it for himself and chose it for others—It’s safer for them, safer for me, he convinced himself every day, every night—so he didn’t expect the way his heart seemed to tremble in the wake of one man.

His name was Lee Jinki.

He was thin, older than Jonghyun yet at times looked younger, and had a blinding smile that made Jonghyun forget how to breathe. When Jonghyun saw Jinki, this incomprehensible need filled him to the brim. It surpassed all the roadblocks in Jonghyun’s life, all his inhibitions, all his wants. He found his gaze following the elder whenever he could chance it, when Jinki was too busy looking elsewhere, too busy lighting up someone else’s life.

Jonghyun wouldn’t dare speak to him. If the thought of his friends finding him out was terrible, then merely entertaining the idea of Jinki ever knowing was particularly perturbing.

Suddenly, Jinki glanced his way and Jonghyun snapped his head in the other direction immediately. He could feel those eyes on him even from the careful distance the younger man had put between them. Jonghyun closed his eyes and chanted under his breath—Look away, look away, oh god, please, please look away—

“Jinki!”

A weight lifted off Jonghyun’s shoulders when someone called Jinki’s name, effectively dragging those searching eyes away from Jonghyun. He fought back that trickle of possessiveness—he had no right, how could he even think about it—when he saw a man wrap his arm around Jinki’s shoulders and lead him away, the both of them laughing about something that was just barely out of earshot. Jonghyun could listen in if he so desired; he wasn’t sure if he wanted to though.

Dejected, the younger turned away. He glanced over his shoulder once to catch one last glimpse at Jinki; it turned out to be a terrible idea because Jinki was looking back at him too.

Their gazes remained linked for what seemed like forever—Jonghyun’s eyes large and horrified while Jinki’s just looked curious and amused—before the man clinging to Jinki pulled him forward and successfully broke the fleeting eye-contact.

The throb of possessiveness came back ten-fold, with a fierceness that made Jonghyun’s eyes burn gold. He hoped for all he was worth that he never learns that other man’s name lest Jonghyun consume him alive in a dark alley when no one was looking.

Because he knew he would.

a/n: idk what i’m doing but i think (hope pray) that i’m getting somewhere?