Months passed, and each one was more painful for Donghae who lost his hope long ago. Nothing could cheer him up, he just wanted her back. The police still looked for her but they too, lost hope that Jessica will appear because there wasn't a trace of her,anywhere, neither of Aiden. 

Cold and rainy autumn arrived, bringing Donghae even more pain. It was the month when Jessica and him started their relationship, October. On October 8th, a week before Donghae's birthday, his new love story began. It was that day today and it seemed like the sky was crying for Jessica. The feeling of emtpiness, of loneliness and endless sadness didn't left Donghae since she dissapeared, and memories returned. The first kiss, first 'I love you', everything came to him on that rainy and cold morning. He couldn't feel any more broken that he already is. 
He woke up with the sounds of rain outside. The streets were empty and the wind was blowing away the leafs that have fall down. Donghae started through the window, looking at the grey clouds that covered the city and the rain drops that were falling on the window. 

This day needed to be so special. Their first anniversary in Seoul, the city where they needed to start everything over. But it wasn't, it was the most painful day for him and he thought he's going to die from the sadness that was slowly killing him. The fact that she's still somewhere, alone and scared... It was hauting Donghae and everyday the sence of guilt would appear. He was living with it for months. 

He managed to eat something, anything, but just a little bit. The rain didn't stop and it made Donghae more miserable. He always hated the rain and whenever something horrible happened in his life, it would rain but only one thing was bright during a rain day. A thing that made him alive again. Meeting Jessica. It was rainging just as heavily as today and it brought Donghae bittersweet memories. Not only the memories about their relationship but their friendship too. The nights when Donghae couldn't sleep because of the sadness he felt because of Jinae's death, because of the pain he had in him, that he still has. The days when Jessica would make him laugh, making him forget about his problems and pain for a moment, the phone calls that usually lasted for hours. They always had subjects to talk about. 
Thanks to Jessica, the pain he felt because of Jinae's death wasn't so visible anymore, she managed to give him happiness and love he needed and now that she's gone, it all returned to him, and even more. 

The hate towards his brother couldn't be said in words. Aiden's name wasn't mentioned during these time, only Jessica's and hopes she will return, that she will appear all of a sudden. As much as he wanted to believe she will come back, Eunhyuk couldn't because it was Aiden who took her away, and knowing him, God knows what was his plan and the reasons he did what he did. He was afraid for his best friend too and he knew that this day will be a difficult one for Donghae. 

The only one who never actually lost hope was Hyoyeon and Jessica's family. They would always comfort Donghae telling him that the police will find her even though deep inside they were too insecure about it. 
That's how these months without her were passing. 

Donghae sat on the couch in the living room and the silence was making him crazy, killing him each second. He never liked being alone and this was his hell now. The home that suppose to be filled with love and laughter was empty and quiet. Only Donghae who was now sitting and staring at the white carpet, silently crying. He decided to visit the place where he would cry his pain. Jinae's grave. He didn't stop crying even druing the ride to the cemetery. 

"Jinae, it should be our 2 year anniversary, you know? She should be here with me now but I don't know where she is right now and I'm afraid I'll never know. His with your... your killer." he hardly managed to say that word that was making him sick. He finally broke down and cried on the hold and wet grave with Jinae's picture, her smiling watching him. 

That's how he spent the day that should be the happiest. Alone crying.