For the girl who captured my heart.

 

 

What have I gotten into this time around.
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to.

You had me at hello.

I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours.
It's simply radiant, I see it more with everyday that goes by.
I watch the clock to make my timing just right.

 

................

 

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox.

 

                                                  - A Day to Remember

 

 

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

 

 

"This is stupid." 

 

 

A hollow eyed girl stared blankly at the ceiling as she listened to the new voicemail message from her best friend. 

 

“Hey bish, you need to stop being a HQ definition of a 'Burrito of sadness’. Get out. Move on. Have a Life. I know you are hurt right now. But your life doesn't have to end this way.

[Long pause……]

I'm sorry, but we miss you too. You still have us here, your friends, and your family who needs you. I hope you think about this. Bye, remember I love you.”

 

She wiped away the lone tear that fell unknowingly on her pale face. She slowly got off from her bed, the only place she only knew where she belonged.

She heaved a sigh, as she ruffled her messy hair. She lifelessly walked to her apartment’s kitchenette and had a glass of water. She gulped and gulped, quenching her thirst. Crying your eyes out all night for how many consecutive days surely dried your water socket.

Feeling much better she went to her room. She sat softly on the wooden chair, leaning her head back she flexed her neck and slowly closed her eyes as she got more comfortable of the position. Flashback of the things that went through that consisted of the painful memories that were pulling her into the black hole of darkness invaded her head once again.

Pictures of them together,

 

A memory of her.

 

She started to tear up.

She pulled her head back with both hands clasping the sides of her head, couldn’t contain the overflowing emotions.

Her shoulders shook up, as she bit her lips. Her eyes continued to flood in silence.

 

 

Entry #13

July 12, 2009

 

Dear Lulu,

 

‘How long had it been? 3 weeks? Almost a month that sadness, emptiness and loneliness took over every part of my body. And all I could do was cry ‘til I got numb and I got too tired to let out a tear, too weary to move and too restless to breathe, I felt like a living dead. Who knows maybe I am.

‘Cos when she left.

It felt like a part of me had died.’

I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why it did, I don’t know where it went wrong and I don’t know when all of this became so hard to bring back together and be like what we were before.

She left me.

She left me for someone better.

 

And it ing hurt a lot.

 

Entry #14

July 22, 2009

 

Dear Lulu,

 

It’s been more than a week since the last time I wrote to you, Jessica was right. I should move on and I should fix myself and bring the best out of me.

 Right Lulu?

I should stop being a love sick puppy and a loser and it all up. I’ve been hiding in the dark for too long and I feel bad for my eyes, it seems the water ran out ^^

It’s a new day for me; I have to continue my life without her. I need to live on.

I should never trust anyone.

Not anymore.

See, I have no water to pump out of my socket T__T

 

 

 

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

 

 

 

Sitting right next to the window, a brunette girl was contently listening to whatever was playing on her music player as headphones were securely placed on each ear; she hummed a part of the lyrics. She looked outside the dusty glass window, staring at the buildings and people at the sidewalks, walking to and fro; variety of faces that pictures individual lives with different beliefs, different perspective to what life is as a whole. She wondered if what everyone had for lunch, what they dreamt about last night or what is their favorite song or would they pick peanut butter over chocolate.

Funny how are these people, different with each other but are all connected in some ways with one another.

Lucky for those people met their other half, to love and to be love, to have someone who can love you no matter who you are and who will be there for you and willingly walk with you to forever.

Nah, she’s too numb for that.

And she swore she would never trust anyone again with her heart.

She smiled bitterly with the thought, but that’s better than spending another month of heartache.

 

The sudden halt of the bus interrupted her thoughts, some passengers got off while new ones board. Just like life and love, some will remain while some will leave but in every stop; expect that there will new ones who will sit next to you as you continue your journey.

And just like a cue, a raven haired girl stood beside the vacant seat that was next to hers. The brunette didn’t even spare a glance but to her surprise, her headphones were pulled to her back and a gentle hand touched hers.

 

“Hello - - - “A vibrant eye smile caught her off guard.

 

The brunette let out an awkward one; she didn’t know what to react.

 

“Hi?”

 

 

“I’m sorry but is there anyone occupying this seat?”  The raven haired girl asked cutely.

“None at all.” The brunette scooted a bit as she straightened her sitting position.

The raven haired girl happily placed herself as the girl next to her could only stare in awe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m Tiffany Hwang by the way.” The girl named Tiffany held out her hand.

“I’m Taeyeon, Kim Taeyeon.”

 

 

 

 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

 

 

 

Taeyeon prevent her smile as sweet and alluring scent of shampoo and woman, a combination two deadly aromas filled her olfactory sense. While a head kept snuggling onto the contour of her neck, settling its way into much comfortable position.

She could hear the soft breathing in and out of the girl sitting beside her, the warm breathe grazing her skin. She felt her skin shivered at the contact, she bit her lip unconsciously.

It’s been too long since the last intimate contact she’d been with another human being, and having a stranger she’d known only for hours now cuddling into her arms.

It felt strangely nice.

Tiffany Hwang brought wonders to Kim Taeyeon’s life in just a couple of hours. The latter was like an open book for the former, to be read and scrutinized.

And Taeyeon let herself open.

The brunette could never comprehend the different kind of vibe Tiffany emitted. The way sunlight hover the girl’s face, it was magical. How someone could look so breath taking in such simple scenery. Taeyeon would never understand this kind of feeling, it felt different in a good way to some point it felt terrifying to grasp the situation on hand, that she, Kim Taeyeon who sworn that she would never trust anyone would let her ‘numb’ heart to fully function again in a span of couple of hours.

How they clicked, it is something unexplainable.

They held hands, leaned against each other and shared each others’ music, in which Kim Taeyeon listed as one of the things she found intimate, not in a ‘friend’ disclosure.

The raven haired girl talked non-stop, as the bus halted from one stop to another. She talked about her life, her ambitions, her mother and her view about love and the brunette could only listen intently.

It felt like they knew each other.

 

She inhaled heavily of the thought; she looked at the girl beside her as her waist was fully wrapped by two arms.

 “Tae tae…” A husky voice called out her name, her pet name to be exact. The one that Tiffany made a while ago that made Taeyeon blushed.

Her stomach felt weird, like it moved up and went down. That kind of weird feeling when you ride a bus and there is a slope and you went up and down all the way, or when you ride a rollercoaster. That sinking feeling like your insides just went down but you want to try it again ‘cos it felt nice in some way.

Or that idiomatic expression cliché, ‘the butterflies in the stomach’.

 

 

“Y-yeah?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

 

 

 

Entry #47

September 23, 2011

 

Dear Lulu,

 

I want to tell you how I end up with a beautiful girl that I will willingly spend my life with.

            But it would take me eternity to tell you our story.

 

 

“Because maybe, a simple ‘hello’ and a Tiffany Hwang really matters at the end of the day.”

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      With love,

K.T

 

 

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