All I could feel was my heart racing like I had just run a marathon. All I could hear was my heart beating so rapidly that I was sure it must be malfunctioning. All I could see was L standing in front of me, looking intensely at me with his dark eyes. 

My lips were on fire. 

I didn't know what to say, and I knew that even if I had tried, no words would have come. 

"Jagi-ah... say something," L demanded quietly after a minute had passed in silence.

"Come on, Jagi-ah. Say something. Anything."

How could I speak? My heart was going crazy and I could hardly breathe. How did he possibly expect me to talk?

"Sungyeol-ah," L pleaded. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

Because I just realized.

"I know you're not mute. Come on; it's not that hard. Just open your mouth."

And I can't believe it. 

"Sungyeol! Stop with the silent treatment!"

I'm in love with you, L.

"Goodness, I can't stand this! Talk to me, darn it!" L exclaimed, hitting his fist against the wall next to me. 

"If you didn't like it, then just say so! Spit it out already!" L stared at me with hard eyes. Then, all of a sudden, they softened again. "Oh, Sungyeol. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I lost control for a moment. Sorry. It's just that I'm really trying, you know. To change your mind. And sometimes, I feel like I might just be succeeding. But then other times - like now - I feel like I will never reach you, and that your heart is closed to me forever."

L turned around and strode several steps away from me. He seemed frustrated.  

I wanted to say something to comfort him, to make his worries go away, but my mouth wouldn't let me. 

"It's just... I thought I would have succeeded by now, you know? It's been ages now, and I really don't know if I've made any progress at all. I was extremely confident at first. You probably remember that." And here he glanced at me with a sort of apologetic look. "But you really are stubborn, I'll give you that. I don't even know what you're thinking right now!" L laughed darkly, but stopped after a moment. 

"Maybe you really aren't gay..." L stopped, as if remembering something. "Ok, forget that. I know you've told me you aren't gay. But I really thought... I mean, I really believed that for me... for me, you would be able to... change, I guess. That you would come to like me to the point of not caring about stuff like that."

L sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. 

"I guess I'm being too selfish. How can I demand that you fall in love with me, right? You already said it earlier; I'm no god. I can't control your feelings."

L walked over to his bed and sat down tiredly, as if all his energy had suddenly evaporated.

And during his whole rant, all I could do was stand there and stare at him like he was some sort of creature from another planet. 

"Ok, I'm done now. I won't push you any further today. I'll keep my cool." L raised his hands, as if in surrender. 

"So. Are you going to say anything now, Silent Sungyeol?" L looked at me questioningly.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice. 

"Will you at least sit next to me?" L asked and patted the spot next to him on the bed. "I promise I won't do anything."

I nodded and walked over to him slowly, carefully. Still saying nothing, I sat down next to him and regarded him silently. 

L stared at me for a minute and then he suddenly fell backwards, so that he was laying on his bed with his legs still touching the floor. I did the same because I didn't know what else to do, so that we were laying side by side, looking up at the ceiling.

"Can I hold your hand?" L asked me quietly. 

When I didn't reply, I felt his hand search for mine. I let him take it, and he entwined his fingers with mine. 

"It feels nice, holding your hand," he said after a while. "Warm."

I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach. I guess this is what it feels like to have butterflies in your stomach, like they always depict it in books. 

"All of you feels warm. Your hand, your lips, your smile."

I smiled secretly. 

"Your voice, your words, your presence."

I felt my heart constrict pleasantly. I hadn't even known that such a thing could feel pleasant. 

"I guess that's why I love being around you. You're so warm that when I'm with you, I feel warm too."

L turned to his side so that he was facing me, though he didn't let go of my hand. 

"I know you're probably overwhelmed by me and all of my words. And I know I'm demanding very much of you. And I know you're probably having a hard time."

I continued to look at the ceiling, absorbing all his words. His voice was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, and I found it amusing that I hadn't realized that before right now. 

"But... even if you'll never like me... even if you will never regard me as anything more than a friend... let me stay next to you. Ok?"

I couldn't stand it anymore, so I turned my head and looked at him. He was gazing at me with an almost sorrowful look in his eyes. Or was it longing?

"I've gotten used to the warmth now, and if you were to leave me, I would freeze to death, I swear it," he said, his voice sounding vaguely desperate. 

"I won't leave you," I found myself saying, to my utter surprise. It must have astonished L as well, for several seconds passed before he seemed to be able to reply. 

"You promise?" he asked hesitantly, as if afraid that it was a trap, a hoax, a lie. 

"I promise," I answered, my voice seeming to echo through the room.

"You can't back down on your word, you know," L warned me. 

"I won't," I reasurred him. 

He smiled sweetly, his eyes shining brighter than I had ever seen them. They twinkled like stars, and I never wanted to move from the spot where I was; never wanted to take a single step away from the boy that I had just realized I was completely in love with. 

Author's Note: Sooo... I was on the romantic side today. Or should I say the sappily romantic side today... I hope you guys like it!:D (though it's not very long. But at least the update was quick, right?)