Hey guys. I'm sure you guys know what happened over the past few days. When I first heard the news, it was my lunch break during school, and me and my friends who were also kpop fans were just utterly shocked. And me being an EXOtic, I really tried hard not to break down in front of everyone. My life was just going so smoothly, with my new school starting, meeting new friends, EXO at the peak of their career. Everything just seemed perfect. But then, all good things must come to an end right? And so, this issue came about. In the beginning, I was so angry at the people who reported this rumour that I literally cursed and swear at them. But later when this was confirmed, I just lost it. I was in a really bad mood for the whole day. My friends were trying to cheer me up, saying SM wouldn't let Kris leave that easily, and that the members would support Kris. However, when we saw how the members reacted to the situation, I felt really lost. I believed that it was SM manipulating the members' SNS, that they confiscated their phones and tried to push all the blame to Kris. I tried to twist reality to something that I wanted to believe in. A few days have passed, and I started to think clearly again. This time, I don't know who to believe. In the beginning, I believed that SM was entirely at fault. I still do, just that I don't think this entire situation was because of SM anymore. I understand how hurt and disappointed the members are at Kris. They were at the peak of their careers, their first exclusive concert was in a week, but then Kris decided to file a lawsuit at that exact same time. It was totally unexpected, even the members did not expect this. I know this is hard for Kris, but it is equally as hard for the members, maybe even worse for some. Tao for instance. We may not know how the relationship between the members are offstage, but Tao seemed really attached to Kris. He was dependant on Kris since their trainee days, both being Chinese living in Korea alone. It must have affected him a lot to know that Kris didn't consult him or even inform him of his decision. I've been through that. To have a really close friend to you, someone you rely on, someone you just talk to whenever you're feeling down, to know that you're not as important to them as they are to you, it hurts. Really badly. So I completely understand Tao's feelings. Right now I don't think SM was involved in anything regarding the SNS. I don't know who to believe anymore. I'm not siding with anyone, but whatever decision is made, I shall respect it. I was a fan of SJ as well as TVXQ. Not as much as EXO though, but it still hurt when Hangeng and JYJ left SM for good. But with EXO, it just broke me. I started liking SJ and TVXQ after they debuted, but with EXO, I was with them from the beginning. So it just affected me really badly. Kpop was what made me happy. It changed my life for the better. I started becoming more outgoing, allowing me to make new friends. It motivated me seeing how the idols preserved to become what they are today. It was like my pillar of support. Now that I've grown and matured more, I am more independent and even if this hit me really hard, I am able to move on. This does not mean I'm am not going to support EXO anymore. This just means I am able to take this better the third time round. I'm sorry that this is a really long post, but I just really needed somewhere to let out all of my feelings. This story will be on hiatus. One reason is because of the whole situation, another is because I have exams coming up. I will update this when my holiday starts, because by then I will feel ready to touch on anything related to EXO again. I will keep loving EXO, whether they are OT12 or OT11.