Damn, that really hurt. I opened my eyes to the blinding white of the hospital room. I heard a gasp and saw Dara's omma gripping my bandaged right arm. I tried to think, to remember why I was in the hospital, but I didn't recall anything. I didn't expect to see my parents here. They never really had time for me, much less stopped coming to see me every time I got myself into the hospital. With my track record, I don't blame them; I wouldn't come either. But, why was Dara's omma here? I know she cared about me like I was her own, but usually she was so burdened at home she wouldn't have time to leave. I thought hard, watching her with tired eyes. The more I tried, the more pain I was in. 

"Oh, thank God! Jiyong-ah!" her head fell onto the bed by my waist and she began to sob. Her other hand balled the sheets up into her frail fists. She mumbled prayers of thanks into the sheets as I squinted into the room, observing my surroundings, hoping something would strike my memory.

I felt tape and bandages inside of the hospital dress I was wearing. I winced when I tried to tense my abdomen to sit up. My right arm and leg was wrapped up in thick bandages and cemented in place. My eye was swollen, but not nearly as much as my cheek was. It was bandaged as well.

I had bruises on my uncovered arm, small bandages, stitches, and needles in it as well. I didn't even want to know what was under my bandaged arm. I poked at my bruises and winced, breathing in sharply at every touch. I didn't know what to do as Dara's mother continued to cry on me. If anything, I was dying of curiosity rather than the beating my body had gone through. Why was she crying?

And suddenly, it all came back and hit me hard. It hurt more than all of the physical pain I was in. Tenfold.

The good news, my temper tantrum, the best night of my life, and the worst... It came crashing down, flooding my body in pain, drowning me in the memories I wanted so badly to remember only seconds before. Now, I would do anything to forget them.

And all I can think about is her hand, her scream, her lips, her smile, and the lights that made her only but a sillhouette as they approached us from both sides. All I could think about was her.

"Dara... Where's Dara?" I croak, my throat closing in protest, my body aching against every move. My body tensed up and my muscled screamed in protest as I began to shake and anxiety took control.

The hysterical woman at my side stiffened when I spoke. Agonizingly slowly, she looked up and only stared at me with swollen, tired eyes, her lips quivering. I waited for her response, encouraging her and shaking her hand. I felt hot tears build up and I choked on them, finding it hard to breathe.

Just then, the doctor walked in.

"Oh, good. You're awake."

And she just continued to stare, saying nothing.

My heart sunk and the salty tears burnt my eyes as they clouded my vision.

'Say something! Please!' my head screamed. I couldn't find my voice. 

She slowly shook her frail head and tears rolled down her cheeks. I felt like throwing up and crying and screaming all at the same time. The tears that swam in my eyes overflowed and ran down my cheeks. I bit them back, trying to be strong. For the both of us.

I guess I just wasn't strong enough.

"No!"

My body raged and I sat up straight, the pain not enough to keep me down. More and more tears flowed across my face as I thrashe about the bed, my breathing extremely labored as I gasped for air. Dara wasn't here anymore, plenty to go around and yet I couldn't breathe still.

"Where is she? This can't happen! I did this! Not her!" Pulling the needles out of my arm and the sheets off of my body, I swung my feet over the side of the bed and twitched slightly at the cool floor against my sore foot, the other in a boot. The doctor rushed to my side and easily pushed me down. I yelped in pain, tears streaming down my face as I fought against him. Her mother held me down, pulling the blanket back over my weak, struggling body.

"Jiyongie, please!" she cried. I looked into her eyes as the nurses came in as well, checking the cardiogram and frowning at the blood dripping from my arms. I hardly noticed them. When I looked at her mother and locked my eyes with hers, those same brown eyes resembling the woman I fell in love with, I knew that it was over. I pulled my unbandaged arm over my face and let myself cry.

My tears only added to Dara's mother's motivation to cry hysterically onto the bed, staining the bedsheets with what little mascara she had on that day. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't believe it. Dara was gone, and she had so much of her life infront of her. She didn't have to say it for me to know. And I ruined it all.

We worked so hard to get her where she was, and to what results? A second of my carelessness. 

Her acceptance into Princeton that she would never be able to take advantage of. Anyone else would give an arm and a leg to get it. I would, but it wouldn't be much of an offer. And she got accepted, never to show the world why. She had it all, brains, beauty, everything. Including basketball.

Her dream of playing college ball: gone. Those countless hours we spent in the gym flooded my memories, drowning me in my sorrows. She worked so hard. We trained and trained, day and night, every chance we got. She loved the game. A gym rat, that one. When she wasn't studying or singig and dancing (and sometimes when she was), she was in the gym. I built her up and ended up breaking her down.

Her God-given voice and sense of rhythm. The music inside of her was just beginning to really come out, and I brought it to its swift end. Never again would we be able to hear he angelic voice, watch her dance her heart out, hear the song of her soul she was just dying to let the world hear. Dead as she was, still it would never be let out.

Dara's parents and her bitter way to end the relationship with them. To think we went out all because she was upset about that specifically and I had to plan her getaway. If only I didn't, things would be different.

As I let these truths soak in, I was lost in confusion as I felt a part of me not regret last nights happenings.

'At least it happened.'

The love we shared. Finally, it was out in the open. How many years did I dream of that kiss? How long did I hide my feelings from her? She's gone now, but not in my heart. She is alive as ever, passion burning like a wild fire inside of me. Love never dies, it never fails. But it hurts more thinking I brought what could have been, the best thing that I almost had, to never be. I was my own enemy.

How selfish of me.

I grimaced in disgust with myself. I wanted to regret taking her to the concert. I really did. But the memory of her lips on mine made my heart find it's beat again. I felt as if they still lingered on mine, soft and sweet, even better than I had imagined. But that just made me even more selfish. Dara was dead and all I could think about was how happy I was that I had gotten my kiss before she was gone. Was that so wrong? Yes, yes it was.

I think.

Once I regained somewhat of my composure I looked across the way at a mirror over the sink a few feet off. My reflection showed my watery, purple eyelids swelling over my face. It stung when I blinked but that pain was overwhelmed by my digust with the man waking me in the face. He was hideous, guilty, undeserving of the sad expression it held. I scowled and looked away, repulsed by the monster in the mirror. It only brought on ugly memories, regrets, and self-pity.

"Seunghyun... Where is he?" I looked up, finally acknowledging the Doctor and nurses in the room. I prayed and held my breath, preparing myself for more sorrow for my mistake. They looked uncomfortable, my previous scene not too comforting, I understood that much and tried not to jump to conclusions burger uncomfortable silence. My heart couldn't take it.

"He's alive and breathing just as he should be." the doctor assured, uncertainty dripping from his words as he bit his lip uncomfortably. I frowned, knowing immediately there was something that he wasn't telling me.

"I am already faint-hearted, doctor, you of all people should know this. Please, do not give me reason to die of curiosity. The scenarios are already swimmig in my head." I muttered, scared the doctor was only lying to me to keep me sane.

"Mr. Kwon, you really need to rest and worry about yourself. You have enough to--."

"Dara's dead because of me! I can't sit here and not know the condition of my other best friend! I'm breathing but I'm anything but okay, and he could be in the same position!" I sat up, my anger b as the nursed pressed on my body, easily pushing me down once more. I couldn't help but relax and allow them to fix my position on the bed. The nurses in the room all looked at each othe uneasily, backing away to stare at the doctor who chewed at his lips, staring at me with indecision.

"Dr. Kang, please." I had almost forgotten about Mrs. Park's presence, her sobs silencing long ago. If she had not spoken again, I would have completely forgotten she was ever there. My mind was almost so engulfed with Dara and Seunghyun, buy mostly Dara. Curiosity came close to engulfing me about Seunghyun's well-being if it wasn't for the soft plead of her voice, my closest thing to a mother figure at my side. "He deserves to know. The things his mind will imagine will be far worse than the truth." her voice was sad, soft, broken as she reasoned.

Dr. Kang looked on me with sympathetic eyes and sighed, letting out the breath he seemed to be holding under my stare. "Very well, then."

I watched as he gave us an assuring look and an un easy smile before whispering to one of the nurses and leaving the room. Confused, I began to stir in the bed once more. Where was he going?  

"Sir, please stay still." one of the nurses begged sympathetically. "Dr. Kang will just be back with Mr. Choi's files. I'm his head nurse, Park Jiyeon." offering her left hand to me, I brought up my right reflexively, only to find it heavy and bandaged.

Right, I forgot. No wonder she put out her left hand.

She only eye smiled and waited as I brought it up to gently squeeze her hand. Jiyeon didn't look much older than me.

"Head nurse? You are so young, never did you tell me this." Dara's mother chimed in, reading my mind. I cocked an eyebrow at her as she spoke as if she were a long time friend.

Jiyeon nodded. "Oh, Auntie, yes, I am only twenty five. I've worked very hard to get where I am today so quickly, I didn't expect to be put in such a high place if I did not meet Dr. Kang's son and befriend him immediately. It was fate, I believe."

"Daesung."

Both of the Parks looked at me, mirroring my confused expression.

"You know him?" Jiyeon smiled.

"And you know Dara's omma, so I guess there had to be some way I was involved in this fate." I sighed, done with talking anymore. If any other day I would be surprised that Mrs. Park hadn't told me ahead of time that she knew the nurse. Then again, I didn't make the situation very comfortable for her in the first place.

Aigo, more thinking. It made my head only hurt more.

The door clicked open and in walked Dr. Kang, a file folder and a wheelchair with him. We all turned to look at him. His eyes were tired, a bittersweet smile on his face.

"I think it would be better if we just went to see him instead."

---

A/N:

Oh no! What's wrong with Tabi?!

I guess you'll have to wait and find out... (;

Just want to say thanks for reading and subscribing!

Feel free to leave me a hard criticizing comment! I know this is really rusty.

Aigo, you guys told me you wanted both stories and now that I'm looking into writing Jiyong's side, i'm starting to see how hard it is!

The alternate ending thing is going to be interesting. I suppose it's good because you only get to see the details of Seunghyun in one of them! This way, I can show you the before AND after!!(:

Yaaaaay!

Do comment & subscribe, thanks to all who already have!!