“Do you want to pack this?”

I looked up from where I was taping up a box of clothes, kneeling in the middle of the tiny living room in the apartment that had, up until earlier that week, been in my father’s name.

Zelo was looking at me from the kitchen, holding up an old, stained kettle.

I shook my head. “Nah, don’t worry about it. That thing is a piece of trash anyway.”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Jonghyun offered, almost absently.

I rolled my eyes, finishing up the box I was working on. “I’m not letting you buy me anything, even a cheap kettle.”

Jonghyun wrinkled his nose, shoving some old papers into a trash bag, but didn’t comment.

It was Saturday morning, and my friends were helping me pack up the apartment. Since my father was in jail and nobody was paying rent, the apartment wasn’t mine anymore. The landlady had been nice enough to give me until Saturday evening to get out, which was just as well, as I was scheduled to move in with my biological mother that afternoon.

It was difficult to think about much of anything except my mother. I hadn’t given my biological mother much thought since I was a little girl. When I was really young, I’d harbored these futile hopes that she would come back and rescue me from the terrible life she’d left me in. It hadn’t taken me long to come to despise her, to resent her. As I’d gotten older, I’d been able to push my resentment to the back of my mind and I became rather apathetic towards the thought of my mother. But now…now it was forced to the forefront of my mind again. All the bitterness I’d forgotten about was resurfacing, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what our reunion would be like.

Yongguk interrupted my thoughts, holding up a lamp. “What about this? Do you want to keep this?”

Again I shook my head. “Nah, it’s just junk.”

Himchan gave me a level look. “Do you want to keep any of this stuff?”

I looked around at the apartment. So far the only things I had really packed was my personal belongings, like clothes, shoes, and books. Everything else I wanted to get rid of.

I shrugged. “No. None of this is my stuff. It just reminds me of my father.”

None of them argued with me, and Yongguk tossed the lamp into the garbage pile.

The apartment was tiny and we hadn’t had much stuff to begin with, so it didn’t take us long to go through everything. Then we loaded the few boxes of things I was keeping into a rented truck and Yongguk climbed behind the wheel.

“Do you want to ride with us?” Youngjae offered, pausing at the driver’s side door of Himchan’s car.

I glanced at Jonghyun, who nodded towards his car in a silent offer to ride with him instead. I forced a smile for Youngjae. “Thanks, but I’m going to ride with Jonghyun.”

“Suit yourself,” Youngjae said, and he got in the car with Daehyun, Jongup, and Zelo.

I slid into the front passenger seat of Jonghyun’s car and sighed, letting my head loll on the headrest.

Jonghyun waited until we were on the highway to breach the subject. “Are you nervous?”

“I’m meeting my mother for the first time since I was less than a year old,” I muttered, carding my fingers through my hair. “What do you think?”

He reached for my hand, lacing our fingers together intimately. “Do you remember when we first started working on the social sciences project and I asked about your mother? You told me she was just gone.”

“You said the same thing about your mother,” I reminded him.

His smile was short. “I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours.”

I thought about it. It wasn’t like everything about my mother wasn’t about to come out in the open anyway. “You first,” I said.

He took a deep breath. “She died,” he admitted. “When I was two. I don’t remember it much. I was too little.”

I gave his hand a little squeeze. “How did she die?”

“Officially, a boating accident,” Jonghyun said. “Apparently it was a big deal when it happened. The media had a field day with it. They accused my father of murdering her, or of paying someone to murder her. The media had photos they claimed were proof that my mother was cheating on my father. When you’re someone like my father, you don’t put up with someone cheating on you. So they said that he had her murdered.”

“That’s terrible,” I murmured. “What do you think?”

“I think it was an accident,” Jonghyun admitted. “I know my father can be a really callous guy, but I used to see him crying over her pictures in the house when he thought no one was around. To me, that doesn’t sound like somebody who hated his wife.” He sighed, like it was painful for him to talk about it. “What about you?”

“My mother left before I was a year old,” I admitted. “I honestly don’t know much about her, only that she got pregnant by another man and left us.” I hesitated. “I had no idea she was even around the area anymore.”

“Obviously she still cares about you,” Jonghyun said gently. “She offered to take you in.”

I rolled my eyes. “What a sacrifice she’s making.”

Jonghyun pursed his lips but didn’t argue with me. What could he say?

We finished the ride to the nice part of town in silence. The buildings grew more and more familiar the closer we got. Then Jonghyun was pulling up to the drive of a beautiful house with a security fence out front. He rolled down the window and pressed the call button.

“Can I help you?” a voice asked.

“I’ve got Song Narae here,” Jonghyun said. “She’s expected.”

“Of course, sir,” the voice replied without hesitation. “Please come in.” And the gate opened.

“Just breathe,” Jonghyun told me as we drove up the drive. “It’ll be okay.”

“Easy for you to say,” I muttered, but then we were parking and I had no choice but to get out of the car.

Youngjae and Yongguk pulled up behind us just as the door was opened, revealing a liveried butler waiting to us into the house. “Please, follow me,” he offered. To his credit, he was quite polite.

Jonghyun took my hand and together we walked into the house, my friends following closely. I was used to this sort of splendor by now, but my childhood friends weren’t. I could see it in the way they stared around at the opulence; Zelo looked disgusted by it.

The butler showed us into a parlor where a man and woman were waiting anxiously. They got to their feet quickly when we were shown in.

The man was older, dressed nicely, with dark hair and an expensive watch glittering on a rather fat wrist. The woman was thin and a bit haggard; despite her obvious efforts to disguise it, she was clearly not of the same cut as her husband. This woman, with her dark hair and her big eyes, looked just like me.

The woman swallowed something. “N-narae?” she asked. She sounded both hopeful and terrified.

I met her gaze, my hands balling into fists. “Yes, I am. I guess you’re the mother who abandoned me.”

The woman looked uncertainly at her husband. He cleared his throat. “We understand that this must be difficult for you, Narae, but we’re trying to make things right here.”

“We don’t expect you to understand,” my mother added, grasping her husband’s hand tightly. “But this is difficult for all of us.” She forced a smile. “I know you might not believe it, but I’m happy to see you.”

I didn’t answer. I had nothing to say to my mother’s blatant lie.

“Do you have many things?” the man, my stepfather, asked me. “We can have our men bring your things in.”

“The boxes are in the truck,” Yongguk said. “We’ll help you.” And they all left, leaving Jonghyun and I alone with my mother.

“Narae,” she began, taking a step towards us.

I took a step back. “You abandoned me,” I accused her. “You’re here in this mansion, living it up, while I’ve lived in poverty for the past seventeen years. While I’ve been subjected to my father’s drunken rages and lapses in judgment. You don’t even know me. You don’t have the right.”

To her credit, she looked sad. “I had no other choice, Narae. I was pregnant. I had to protect my child.”

“I was your child,” I snarled. “You had to protect me, and you didn’t. You chose the easy way out.”

“I’m doing what I can to make things right,” my mother tried.

“You’re seventeen years too late,” I muttered. “And the second I come of age, I’m out of here. I never want to see you again.”

The door opened and we all turned to look.

It was Seo Joohyun, one of the girls from the Bimbo Brigade at school. She looked just as shocked to see me there as I was to see her.

“Mom?” Joohyun said, glaring at me. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Joohyun sweetie,” my mother said, gesturing for Joohyun to come over. “I want you to meet your half-sister, Narae.”

Jonghyun let out a low whistle.

“You’ve got to be ing kidding me,” I muttered.

Joohyun looked like she’d been punched in the face. “Holy .”

My mother seemed oblivious to our sudden panic. “Oh, you two already know each other? That’s wonderful. Joohyun can help you out a lot, Narae.”

Joohyun responded by stomping out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

I resisted the urge to burst into tears. Now I knew that Seo Joohyun was the reason my mother had left me in the first place. And I hated her more than I had ever hated anyone in my life. 

Sorry for my extended hiatus guys!

I had to go home to America to get married! 

I'm back now, though, so I should be updating fairly regularly from now on!

If you're still with me after this long break, thank you!

<3