“What would you do if I got bitten?” Kevin asked curiously staring at Eli in the dim moonlight coming out of the window. 

“You won’t get bitten Kev.” Eli answered with so much conviction that Kevin almost believed him. Almost.

“...But if I do get bitten, what would you do? Let me turn or kill me?” He pressed on.

Looking back to Kevin, Eli pressed his lips into a thin line, already becoming weary of this question and wanting to move on. He stared at the half lit up face next to him, those trusting eyes staring back so wide yet tired looking from the past hard days they both just struggled through together. 

Reaching out, Eli took Kevin’s hand into his and held it securely within his own as he stared right back. There was no need to look for this hand anymore. Kevin’s hand always seemed to be exactly where Eli’s would be. Almost like magnets. Raising the hand up to his lips, he kissed the back of it softly. 

“As long as I can find a way, you won’t ever have to worry about getting bitten or having to kill anything.” 

Frowning instantly, Kevin’s words spilled out without missing a beat. “I killed a zombie that was about to attack me just a few days ago when we went out looking for more food.” 

“You know what I mean, Kev.” Eli smiled forgetting about the sincere tone of his words. That made Kevin relax a bit and lose the frown but the look in his eyes said he was far from being satisfied. 

“What would you want me to do if you get bitten?” He asked bitting his lower lip in concern. 

“Kill me then go find the others.” He shrugged as if it was the most simplest thing to ever do. Kevin frowned again. 

“I could never kill you, Eli.” 

“And I couldn’t kill you.”

“So what then? You turn or I turn then eat each other for dinner?”

“I’d rather not turn actually.” 

“But I can’t kill you Eli.”

“You’re gonna have to.”

“No. I refuse.”

“Kev-”

“Eli, I’m serious. I can’t and won’t ever kill you.”

“Then you won’t have to.”

“But-”

Leaning up quickly to cut him off, Eli pressed his lips to Kevin before another word could come out. They stayed like that for a few long minutes as their lips moves in sync, filling each other back up with enough love and hope to satisfy them both for the time being. Resting his forehead against Kevin’s, Eli left his hand against Kevin’s cheek as his thumb brushed against the soft skin. It was another few more minutes before a voice could be found.

“You have me now and for eternity Kev. I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon and I sure as hell am not gonna let anything happen to you either. We’re safe. We have each other. We’ll find the others and get through this. I promise.” Eli whispered out, rolling them so Kevin could lay on his chest. He responded by snuggling into the warmth of Eli’s shirt and frowned looking into the darkness of the other side of the room. 

Kevin felt like Eli just didn’t get it. Or at least he didn’t want to admit it. But Eli was all Kevin had. Kevin was all Eli had. If he ever lost him, Kevin couldn’t even think about functioning past that point. It made his eyes sting with unwanted tears. The only reason they didn’t spill out was because of Eli’s firm hand rubbing his arm, gently squeezing it for reassurance. Kevin tightened his arms around Eli’s waist to hug him firmly. 

“I love you Eli.” 

“I love you too, Kev.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BANG!

He watched the zombie fall to the ground before signaling that the coast was clear to run again. Looking to his side, he made sure the slender blonde was keeping up with him before focusing on where they were going once again.

Kicking in the door to an old building, he saw the blonde blur flash by before following in, slamming the door shut behind him and working to cover the door with heavy objects to barricade from the impending dangerous coming their way. 

This was their safe house. At least it was until food ran low. The risk to go outside was greater than starving. They wanted to raid the convenient store down the block but found it to be a trap from the previous survivors who tried to take things from there. One loud alarm tripped by Kevin was all it took to summon all nearby zombies in the area. They were lucky to be alive. 

Heading up the stairs in silence, they both kept to themselves. Eli figured he should have said something. But his adrenaline was still pretty high and couldn’t even think straight at the moment. He opened the door to the long abandoned apartment they had called their home and shut the door quickly and quietly, locking up with practiced hands and quick precision.  

Kevin immediately went to the window to take a careful peek out on what was going on down below. Being on the top floor and several stories up had its advantages. They both held their breathes despite the long journey to get up there and waited in anticipation. Time crawled to a slow standstill as Eli stood still by the door, bearing his gaze into the back of Kevin’s head. Waiting. Watching. Listening. 

After what seemed like a lifetime, Kevin relaxed with a sigh of relief and instantly making Eli do the same. He put the gun away on a nearby counter and dropped the half full bag of food to the ground. 

“Ow!” Eli called out and looked to his shoulder. Raising a slow hand, he carefully took off his worn out army green jacket, sliding it off but making a face to express his pain. The bright red mixed in with the dark in the center of the round wound. 

Almost immediately his mind began to wonder how this happened and figured it was that moment a zombie jumped out at him from behind the shelf of magazines. He just had to go look through them. But he had fought it off. And it didn’t hurt when it happened. Eli’s mind swirled with so many thoughts and transfixed his eyes to the wound until he felt his free hand being grabbed.

Kevin had joined him and was staring at the same spot on Eli’s shoulder, eyes watering from staring so long or just tears of acknowledgement of the inevitable. He stared back at Kevin, suddenly feeling overwhelmed at the rush to try and remember every single detail of that angelic yet handsome face. Eli was never one to cry. Ever. But to think of not waking up to this face ever again. Not being able to protect him like he should. That hurt. 

He moved his bloody hand to Kevin’s chin, ready to be firm and strong about this. But when those brown, bright orbs looked up at him, everything was lost. Kevin’s tears spilled over quietly and the words died on Eli’s tongue. Instead, they just stood there facing each other without saying anything.

Eli was the first to drag his eyes away from Kevin’s and turned directly to the gun laying on the counter top. Following his line of sight, Kevin knew what Eli was gonna do. Without a second thought, Kevin lunged for it at the same time Eli did but ended up knocking the gun to the floor.

Throwing his weight against Eli, he managed to push him away and gave himself the advantage of rolling to the ground to snatch up the weapon. Kevin turned around and flicked his hair out of his eyes as he sat on the gun, hiding it from Eli’s view. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”

“Kevin, I have to. I won’t make you do it yourself. That-” 

“There has to be another way! A plant to prolong it or some… some cure or something to-”

“There is no cure! There never has been and there never will be!” Eli set his jaw into a firm line, looking at the boards behind Kevin’s head. He sighed out in frustration and kicked at the wall hard enough to leave a hole. Kevin flinched a little bit but stayed where he was, trying to hide his shaking. He waited until Eli calmed down enough before speaking calmly.

“There was a clinic about a block the other way down the street from where we came from. I can sneak out and see if-”

“If what? If there’s a miracle bottle there marked ‘Cure’ written on the side?” Eli snapped and turned around to face Kevin. “I am not turning into one of them and I’ll be damned if you have to pull the trigger to end this.”

“God, at least I’m trying here Eli!” 

“Trying what? You can’t stop this!”

“But I should have prevented it!” Kevin sobbed out and looked down at the floor as his tears ran freely now. “I should have protected you…” 

Eli watched for a second more before crossing the room to bend over and hug Kevin tightly in his arms. He held him as he cried out and long after the sun went down. It took a while before Kevin actually went quiet. But the silence was nice. Almost endearing to be surrounded in with just Kevin clinging to Eli and Eli holding tightly onto Kevin.

It must have been hours that they stayed that way. If it wasn’t for Eli coughing, Kevin would have probably stayed like that forever. Around the fourth cough, they started to turn into horrible hacking wheezes. 

Looking up to watch Eli, Kevin was horribly surprised to see him much paler than he had ever seen him. His heart sank immediately. 

“What… what do I have to do?” Kevin asked in a shaky voice. 

Coughing more, Eli shook his head. “N-nothing. Just give it to me and go to sleep.” He turned his head to cough but when his hand came back down it was covered in blood. 

“Eli, you’re dy-… You’re not well. You can barely keep your eyes open. How do you expect to hold a gun right now?” Kevin stated. 

Eli half smirked. “So you’re gonna off me?”

“Yes.”

“Kev-”

“No, Eli. I mean it. I’m... I’ll do it.” He put his hand around the gun handle and nodded firmly as his throat threatened to close up while fighting back tears. “Just tell me when and where?”

After a few more rounds of coughs that were coming in quicker by the second, Eli pointed up. He was losing his will to fight back not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t have the strength to. 

Kevin nodded and stood up before grabbing Eli’s good arm and pulling him up, wrapping the arm around his shoulders to make Eli lean against him. He had known what Eli was talking about. They lived on the top floor already, having barricade all the bottom floor windows and doors with heavy equipment with some alarms set to give them enough time to escape. Eli wanted to go to the roof. He wanted to die outside. 

Somehow Kevin had managed to help Eli up the stairs and pushed open the roof door they left a little open just in case for quick escapes. Sniffling as Eli cough on him more, Kevin carried Eli to a stone brick chimney vent and let him sit down.

Kevin sat down beside Eli and held onto him, hugging his waist tightly. He could feel the heat, Eli’s warm comforting heat, fade away slowly. Kevin could do nothing else but hold on as much as he could while his tears ran freely, listening to the fading, raggedy, short breaths become shorter and shorter. 

“I love you Eli… So much. Please don’t leave me alone. I can’t-… I can’t be alone. I can’t be without you. I love you! Don’t leave me like this! Please!” Kevin pleaded with everything he had left in him. 

He was so focused on his words and getting them across as quickly and strongly as possible that it surprised him to feel the rapid motion of a chest beating up and down quickly. Was that a laugh? 

Looking up in shock, Kevin saw the ghost outline of a smile. Eli’s eyes where closed and Kevin could tell he was having a hard time breathing now. His skin had gone a green pale color that made a small gasp escape Kevin. If it wasn’t for what happened next, he wouldn’t have believed he was even still alive. 

“You… won’t be… alone Kev. Y-you’ll survive. I… promise.” It was faint but Eli gave the gentlest squeeze to Kevin’s which only caused more hot tears to spill down his cheeks. “I love… you… Ke-” 

He was cut off abruptly by one of Eli’s biggest coughing fits he’s has so far. Kevin patted his shoulder gently and held the hand in his for dear life. So soon as he was done, Kevin waited for more words but nothing came out. The smile slowly faded off of Eli’s face and Kevin could literally feel his heart drop out of his chest. 

“Eli?” Kevin asked in a weak voice that cracked. He tugged the hand but got no response. “Eli!” He tugged harder but only got the rolling of his head towards the direction of the tug as an answer.

“No!” Kevin screamed out in such an agonizing voice, that if anyone near by heard, they would have thought he was being tortured. He hugged Eli tightly in his arm and cried harder than he had ever cried in his life. 

He couldn’t remember exactly what alerted him first. Eli’s hand had begun fidgeting and over his own wails he heard the faint growling in Eli’s chest. Maybe it was a combination of both? Looking up, he saw the dead eyes starting back at him. No longer was this his Eli. This was someone else completely.

Jumping back, Kevin felt the gun knock out of his hand and slide a little out of his range. The zombie had growled once again and jumped on Kevin, snapping his teeth in hunger. Falling to his back, the zombie landed on top of him. It went for Kevin’s neck but he moved in time, moving his knee up, he kicked the zombie hard in its side and pushed it away. Kevin rolled to the other side, towards the gun and snatched it up. 

From there, it all happened too quickly. In a blur, Kevin rolled to his side, aimed, a zombie lunged and then the shot rang out through the night. Silence. Nothing moved. 

Kevin dared to exhale as everything came rushing back. Climbing to his knees, he scooted all the way back to the chimney and kept the gun pointed at the zombie. His hand was shaking but his survival mode switched had flipped. It was until he blinked a few times to get his vision cleared that the moonlight hitting the zombie actually brought him back to reality. 

It was Eli again. He could have been mistaken as a someone sleeping soundly on the rooftop, enjoying the night sky but the bullet hole in his forehead shook Kevin to his core. 

Tossing the gun away to the side, he began to furiously wipe his hands on his jeans. As if Kevin could erase everything he had just done by simply cleaning his hands. He didn’t know when he began to start crying again. Or when his hands felt so raw from rubbing them so hard against his jeans but they were. 

Glancing back to Eli, he swallowed hard at the pool of blood gathered around his head and gave a loud sob before putting his head into his hands and cried even more than before. 

In all honesty, Kevin didn’t know how long he sat there and cried. He just knew that the sun had come up somehow and that his heart felt dysfunctionally broken. He also felt this numbness that had spread to his inner core. Nothing worked properly. He was hardly breathing himself. Was this how people died? Was this how Eli died? In a daze, he vaguely heard a struggle coming from below. Probably from his gunshot and attracting zombies to their location. 

“I love you, Eli…” He whispered to himself and reached out for the gun. Kevin’s eyes went back to Eli’s still form and in his mind’s eye, he saw his sleeping Eli. Probably dreaming about them in a time before all this chaos broke out. 

“You left me though. You broke your promise…” Raising the gun up, he pointed it at himself. “But don’t worry. I’ll make sure you keep it.” It felt strange for his face to smile. It was small and din’t last long but it was there. “I’ll see you soon Eli.” 

Closing his eyes, Kevin was ready to join Eli. Even if he couldn’t feel anything, he just knew this was how it was meant to be. It had to be. This was how they would end. This was how everything needed to end-

“Kevin!” 

The roof access door banged open suddenly and Kevin found his eyes open, turning his head to see who had called his name. This boy was someone Kevin knew. He knew him very well. There were others that he also recognized shouting his name that seemed to be fighting in the background but his eyes only focused on that first voice. 

The gun dropped out of his hands as he stared back in disbelief. “AJ?”

Running over to Kevin, AJ nodded. "We got Eli's messages. The one's that were left behind at the places you both have been to that told us where you guys were. Didn't he tell you about them? Where is h-" 

Blinking in shock, Kevin registered that AJ had spotted Eli's body off to the side. His eyes followed AJ's and they both looked on as the others cleared the stair well and shut the door firmly behind them as they joined. No one said a word.

Kevin was the first to tear his eyes away to look at the worn and tired faces of his very dearly missed friends when his heart gave a tiny twist of hope mixed with even more sadness. After everything Eli and him have been through. All that heartache, searching, suffering, scavenging, fighting, and killing. Kevin’s eyes welled up again. He wouldn’t be by himself in this. He’d survive. Kevin wouldn’t ever be alone again. It was odd to think about now but, he had done it. Eli, his Eli, had kept his promise.