Blink.

“May, twenty-second. Friday.”

Blink.

“He starts moving…”

Blink.

“From now on your name is Suho. Copy.”

Blink.

“You are my guardian. You will always be with me until my last breath. Copy.”

Blink.

“You can feel cold, hot, warm, you can think, but you don’t have emotions. Copy.”

Blink.

“You’ll be automatically shut down when I’m gone. Copy.”

Blink.

“Yes, Master.”

He smiled. “Welcome to this world.”

—

The mirror’s surface is cold.

“Who are you?”

“You can see me?”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Kai. Who are you?”

“I’m Suho.”

“What are you?”

“Master’s guardian.”

Suho stood in front of a big mirror in his master’s room, fingers tracing along its surface as he studied the strange figure’s face. He tilted his head, thinking. Where did that figure in the mirror come from? Was he a bad guy? Was he trapped there? Why?

“What are you doing there?”

“Waiting.”

Suho blinked.

“Waiting for what?”

“For your master to die.”

The mirror’s surface was cold; just as cold as Kai’s dark orbs.

Suho blinked once again and Kai was gone as he opened his eyes.

—

Our first meeting: not really friendly.

—

His master had been asleep when Suho stood again in front of the mirror; wanting to see the stranger he met on the previous night.

And there Kai was, standing across the mirror with his cold expression.

Kai said that he was a god of death; he would take Master’s soul. He said that he was watching over Master all the time and the big mirror was the medium.

Suho didn’t understand that. Why? What was god of death? Why he wanted Master to die? Why did he wait? He didn’t understand. It was out of his system.

Suho didn’t understand at all.

—

 “Why don’t you get off of this mirror?”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“My time hasn’t come yet.”

“When will it come?”

“Soon.”

—

“Master, what is god of death?”

Suho’s master looked surprised as his creation asked him something like that. “How could you know about god of death, Suho?” the middle-aged man asked back.

“Master, what is god of death doing in this world?”

The human one looked confused to answer, but after a moment of thinking, he sighed and said, “God of death will take human’s souls when they’re gone.”

“Where will god of death take the souls?”

“To the afterlife.”

“What is afterlife?”

He smiled and patted Suho’s head. “Somewhere human will go after they die. You won’t understand it, Suho.”

Suho tilted his head.

“Master,”

“Yes, Suho?”

“Are you going to die soon?”

The scientist didn’t understand that. Why Suho suddenly asked him such questions? How could Suho know about something like god of death? To be honest, he didn’t even believe in gods of death’s existence. Were they real? Or were they just a myth which was made by the ancestors? He didn’t know.

“Master?”

The scientist didn’t understand at all.

—

“Why do you keep coming here?”

“Why do you keep coming here?”

Kai’s expression didn’t change even though Suho gave him the same question as what he asked to him.

“I’m watching over your master.” Kai answered. “Why are you here?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Why?”

Suho grabbed a chair and dragged it to the front of the mirror and sat there. “I don’t know. It feels funny to talk to you every night.”

Kai didn’t understand that. Why? From the very beginning of their meeting, Kai had found that Suho wasn’t human. Suho was a robot, a prototype. Suho was just a machine that could think yet didn’t have a heart. He discovered that Suho didn’t have feelings like human did. Then, why he could feel something like… funny feeling? Only human could feel something like that.

“Will you come again tomorrow night?”

“Yes.”

From Suho’s eyes, Kai could see something glistening.

Is he happy?

Kai didn’t understand at all.

—

Suho touched the mirror’s surface with both hands, feeling its coldness. In front of him, inside the mirror was Kai, looking at him closely. He took a step behind when Suho leaned his body into the mirror, as if he wanted to go inside.

“What kind of world are you living in?” Suho asked.

“I’m not living in the world like the world where you are now,” Kai said. “You don’t want to come here, I’m sure.”

“How could you be so sure?”

“What we have in this world is only darkness and emptiness. Do you want to live in such a place?”

“Empty… emptiness?” Suho mumbled. “Master once said that emptiness makes people sad. Are you feeling sad to live in your world?”

Sad?

Was he feeling sad?

No.

But he was feeling empty.

—

“I never see you smile. If I was there, would you smile?”

Kai couldn’t say anything more.

Maybe I would.

—

When the meeting became routine, Kai could feel something weird spreading over his chest. He already used to Suho’s presence. He already used to answer his silly questions. He already used to see his beautiful, pale face sparkling under the moonlight.

Kai knew what kind of feeling was that, but he, too, knew that he shouldn’t have felt that way. Not toward Suho, not toward anyone else.

Moreover, the day was coming closer. He wouldn’t meet Suho anymore after that ‘big day’.

Kai was a god of death.

Gods of death would never fall in love with anybody.

—

“What kind of souls that you’ve taken before, Kai?”

Suho sat on the chair as usual. Kai stood up in front of him, in the mirror, as usual.

What unusual was, Kai’s expression wasn’t that cold and careless like the previous nights.

“I can’t remember it anymore, Suho,” the god of death replied. “There were so many… too many souls I’ve already taken. There were too many…”

“How it feels to take human souls?”

“Terrible.”

“Why?”

“Because when you take their souls, you will see how scared and depressed they are facing their very own death.”

Suho blinked.

“Human is so fragile…” Kai continued. “But they have strong emotions.”

“I remember Master told me that I don’t have emotions.”

“He’s right.”

Or maybe you do. Maybe your master was wrong.

“Do you have emotions, Kai?”

Maybe.

—

“Love, hate, sad, afraid, they are emotions.”

“Why do I not have them, Master?”

His master put his cup of tea on the table before looking up at Suho with a smile.

“Because you—we will no longer live in this world, and I don’t want you to suffer because of it when the time has come.”

—

I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want to be alone when the death itself comes to pick me up. That’s why I made you, Suho. That’s why I programmed you to ‘die’ with me when I’m gone.

I don’t want to die alone.

—

“Master looks so weak nowadays.”

It was another night that Suho spent with Kai. And when Suho told him so, he couldn’t be surprised anymore.

He knew exactly when the scientist would die. He was the death that would take his soul. Without Suho telling him, he already knew.

But it seemed that Suho didn’t understand it.

He wouldn’t understand it.

“He keeps telling me that his time is almost over.”

“He’s right. It’s not a long time anymore.”

Suho leaned his forehead in the mirror’s surface. One of his hands was lifted, clutching into his chest, where the heart should’ve been placed if he had any. “Kai…” he whispered.

“Yes, Suho?”

“How does death feel like?”

Silence.

“My chest feels funny… like someone pulls out something important here. It feels funny… but not in a good way.”

Another silence.

Do you feel empty, Suho? Empty, like what I feel right now?

—

I don’t want you to die. I want to touch your heart...

Kai sighed silently.

… if you have any.

—

Kai’s fingers danced along the mirror’s surface, where Suho’s face was reflected. “Suho…” he called the name. “Suho.”

Suho looked up at Kai.

“… I have a dream about you. I dreamt that we were together…”

Suho tilted his head.

Blink.

“… but Suho… do you have a dream too? If you do, have you ever dreamt about me?”

Blink.

“Suho?”

“Yes, Kai?”

“Do you have me in your heart?”

He tilted his head again.

“Do you even have a heart?”

Blink.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean, Kai?”

Kai closed his eyes.

It was like somebody pulled out something important in his chest.

His heart, maybe.

He kept closing his eyes.

“… nothing.”

—

The mirror was broken.

Suho’s eyes couldn’t even blink when he saw Kai moving out of the broken glasses. He felt something funny, like he wanted to jump over and hug the god of death tightly. What kind of feels was that? He didn’t know, he didn’t understand. Master didn’t program him to understand such things.

“Kai…?”

Kai’s dark orbs landed on Suho. The eyes looked different; it was full of something that Suho disliked.

“Kai…”

Kai didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked toward Suho’s master, who was lying on his bed weakly. He was ready to take his soul.

“Kai, is my time—my master’s time over…?”

“Yes, Suho.”

Suho could see a dim light came out from his master’s body when Kai extended his hand to touch his master’s forehead with his index finger.

“Kai—”

Program will be shut down automatically in 5…

“Kai, I—”

4…

Kai turned around, eyes meeting Suho’s hazel ones. His usually twinkling eyes turned slowly into dark grey.

3…

“Is this how death feels like, Kai?”

2…

Kai closed his eyes.

1.

Shutting down: complete.

—

Kai squatted beside Suho, who already lied on the floor. His fingers traced along the soft skin of his cheek. Carefully, he pulled the body and embraced it tightly. Suho was warm; Suho was human-like. He had never expected that hugging Suho would feel so… right. He hugged him tighter, hoping it would wash away the pain he felt. His chest felt so full of sadness. It felt like something heavy pressing on it, wanting him to die breathless.

“… if only we met under the different situation, Suho.”

—

“Professor died last night due to heart attack, but there was something weird that I found…”

“What was that?”

“I couldn’t find Suho. Wasn’t Suho supposed to be with him?”

“That was weird… did somebody steal him?”

The scientist’s assistants didn’t understand that. They didn’t understand at all.

—

Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?

 “You can’t hear me.”

Kai’s index finger moved from Suho’s cheek down to his chest, where the heart should’ve been placed if he had any. He pressed his finger on that spot, miserably hoping that he would find any single heart beat.

“Suho.”

He laughed dryly.

I still can’t touch your heart.