~All of these guards they stand tall and defensive,
putting up walls around what once was innocent.
They won't let me in, but I'm stronger than that
'cause you stole my eyes and I've never looked back.~ [The Cab]

 

 

 

 

A lone figure stood outside the main exit of the airport, dragging her large luggage behind her. She impatiently tapped her foot on the floor as her eyes scanned the coming vehicles. A sigh was released before she ruffled her caramel-blond tresses.

 

“Yah! Where are you? I’ve been here for an hour now! I should have just boarded the taxi.” The girl hissed annoyingly at the receiver.

 

“Fine! Fifteen minutes more. If you don’t hurry up, I’ll board the next plane back.” The girl threatened the receiver before cutting the line off. Another sigh left Jessica’s lips as she sat down on the bench near the exit of the building, hugging herself as the cold wind of December brushed against her skin.

 

**

 

 The dark haired girl slammed her hands against the steering wheel as she looked at the long queue of cars ahead of her, cursing herself inwardly for waking up late. Her attention was brought to the smartphone on the passenger seat as it ringed a familiar ringtone. Not needing to look at the caller ID, she immediately pressed the answer button before putting it on her ear, bracing herself for the inevitable yelling.

 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I swear I’m near. Give me fifteen minutes, okay?” She said as she tried defusing the raging caller. She knew better than to mess with a jetlagged person.

 

“I know. I’m really sorry.” She chuckled nervously as the line went dead.

 

With a sigh, Taeyeon lightly slammed her forehead on the steering wheel before raking her black hair. She opened her car window and stuck her head out, feeling the cold breeze of December.

 

**

 

“Took you so long to get here.” Jessica said flatly as the driver of the newly arrived car got out to help her with her luggage.

 

“It’s your fault. You could have chosen the closer airport.” The dark haired driver countered as they both put the big luggage on the trunk of the car.

 

“Let’s just go home. I’m tired.” Jessica whined as she went to the passenger seat, with the dark haired driver copying her action as she too settled inside the driver’s seat.

 

Jessica leaned her head against the car window while she watched the huge airport turn into a miniature building in the side mirror.

 

**

 

The dark haired driver stepped on the accelerator as she saw the fuming figure on the main exit of the airport, with her luggage on her side.

 

“Took you so long to get here.” The girl said as Taeyeon got out of her car to help the fuming girl.

 

“It’s your fault. You could have chosen the closer airport.” Taeyeon countered as she helped the girl put her luggage on the trunk.

 

“Let’s just go home. I’m tired.” The girl said before disappearing inside the passenger seat. Taeyeon could only shake her head as she too, went inside the driver’s seat.

 

She watched the large building disappear from the rear view mirror as she drove away from it.

 

A sigh left her passenger’s lips which caused her to shift her attention to the girl before focusing on the road again.

 

“Yoong, I’m really sorry. I got caught up in traffic.” Taeyeon said apologetically.

 

“I know, Unnie. I’m sorry too, for yelling. It’s just that I feel really tired these days.” Yoona answered as she leaned her head against the car window.

 

“Then let’s get you something good to eat, yes?” Taeyeon said cheerfully as they left the premises of Gimpo International Airport.

 

**

 

“Unnie, I’m sorry. The traffic jam was just really bad. You know how it is here when it’s December.” The dark haired driver spoke in a low and apologetic voice. Jessica turned her attention towards her sister.

 

“It’s okay, Soojung. I’m sorry for being an a** a while ago. It’s just that travelling is not my thing and jetlag always gets me bad.” Jessica turned her head towards her sister as she smiled at the younger girl.

 

“Unnie, it’s Krystal not Soojung.” Soojung complained, earning a pinch on the cheek from the older girl.

 

“You are Soojung, my Soojung. Not Krystal, okay?” Jessica said as they left the premises of Incheon International Airport.

 

**

 

An hour later, Jessica was greeted by a familiar neighborhood that she missed so much. It was the same quiet and peaceful neighborhood she always remembered it to be.

 

“It’s good to be home, huh?” Her sister spoke as they entered a familiar driveway. Jessica nodded her head with excitement.

 

“Sooyeon!” An elderly man exclaimed as soon as he saw his oldest daughter enter their humble home.

 

“Appa!” Jessica shouted as she dropped her handbag on the floor, running towards her father like a little girl running for the ice cream truck.

 

“I missed you, Sooyeon.” Her father said as he enveloped her in a tight hug.

 

“I missed you too, Appa.” Jessica replied.

 

Another pair of arms hugged her from behind, burying the person’s face in the back of her head. She turned around to see her mother shedding tears.

 

“Umma, why are you crying?” She said as she rubbed her mother’s back.

 

“I just missed you so much, Sooyeon-ah. You can’t even imagine how much we miss you.” Mrs. Jung replied as her oldest daughter rubbed her back.

 

“But I’m home now, Umma. So don’t cry okay? And Umma, I think Soojung is getting jealous.” Jessica said, whispering the last words to her mother’s ears which didn’t go unnoticed in the youngest Jung’s ear.

 

“Yah! I’m not jealous! And pfft, Umma loves me more than you.” Soojung retorted as she too joined the group hug, suffocating the newly arrived Jessica Jung.

 

“Can’t.. breathe..” Jessica complained and laughter echoed inside the house.

 

**

 

 

 

Two weeks later and Jessica found herself wandering around the streets of Seoul, Korea. She walked past store windows after store windows without really knowing what she was looking for. She looked at the busy street and the busy December shoppers as they rushed about. A sigh left her lips before a store caught her attention. Smiling to herself, Jessica rushed towards the ice cream parlor.

 

A smiling staff had greeted Jessica when she entered the deserted store; a slight nod was Jessica’s answer as she was too lazy to reciprocate the action. She went to the counter and ordered a cup of chocolate ice cream; a flavor she’d grown accustomed to over her last months in New York where she spent a year for her short course of Fashion Design. Sitting near the glass window, Jessica found the place rather cozy despite the cold delights the place offers. Maybe it was the faint fragrance of vanilla in the air, or maybe the lingering warmth of autumn that seemed to have stayed inside the store, or maybe because of the smiles the staffs wore as they do their routines. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because somehow ice cream parlors remind her of Taeyeon and how the dorky girl never failed to give her warmth. Just maybe.

 

Her eyes were fixed outside the glass window, watching as people walked past the ice cream parlor when a familiar figure caught her eyes. A smile graciously made its way to her lips. She rushed out of the store with her ice cream cup in hand in hopes of finding the familiar figure but much to her dismay, she lost sight of the person.

 

**

 

Kim Taeyeon was never a fan of winter. She despised the cold weather, she despised wearing layers and layers of clothes. But today though, she found the cold weather very soothing; something she can’t really explain. Her thoughts wandered to a specific blonde as she put on another layer of clothing this morning. What could she be doing now? A question that had Taeyeon always wondering ever since she woke up to an empty bed and empty closet in Las Vegas a year ago. Maybe it was the cold weather that had her mind wandering to the blonde again. She chuckled. Ah, the so called ‘Ice Princess’. She always wondered how Jessica got the infamous nickname; she sure was warm for an Ice Princess. A warm Ice Princess. How unlikely, how unique, impossible even. But then again that’s just how Jessica Jung was: always out of the ordinary. Another chuckle and passersby eyed her curiously, wondering if she were still sane or insane. She was, however, in between those everytime Jessica crosses her mind. Her Sooyeon. Her sweet little Sooyeon who decided to up and leave just in time she had decided to stay. A bittersweet smile. It had always been bittersweet between her and Jessica. They weren’t exactly the star-crossed lovers like those in books and films, but it sure felt like it after realizing Jessica had ditched her in her sleep just after they made the sweetest of all sweet love. A shake in the head and a tinge of crimson in her cheeks as the memory of that night flooded her mind like they were just last night’s events.

 

She felt cold even after covering herself with sweaters and coat. But no, it wasn’t the cold winter that had her feeling like that. It was the void deep in her heart, and maybe soul, that had been incredibly growing as the time goes by, making weeks feel months and months feel years. Right hand raised and eyes landed on the small gaps between her fingers that had been empty ever since Vegas. She refused to fill it with other’s fingers for she believed one way or the other, the familiar fingers would willingly fill the gaps between hers for the rest of their lives.

 

Kim Taeyeon hates the cold and damp weather, yes, but ice cream was another story. She liked the cold delight, love even. The sweet and cold sensation it leaves your mouth when you it, the feeling of wanting more even before you could swallow and how it always soothes her craving, how a cup or cone of ice cream was enough to keep her going for a day. It was almost unbelievable how her body always seems to crave for the cold delight, just like how her soul caves for Jessica Jung. Ice cream and Jessica Jung. They sure suit each other like cookies and milk, or cake and icing. You could have the other without the other but it sure would feel different because let’s face it, cookies and milk are perfect together like cake and icing; like Jessica and ice cream. A wide grin and a halt on her steps as the light turned red.

 

Head turned to the side and an ice cream parlor came into view. The urge of eating the cold delight was pulling her towards it, harder than it ever had. But like the many times, Taeyeon refused. Not today. Foot started moving, one step after the other as the light turned green, urging her to move forward.

 

**

 

A sigh was released from Jessica’s lips as she tossed her caramel blonde tresses, throwing her ice cream cup at the nearest trash bin. If her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, she could bet with her life that the short girl covered in layers of clothes and a brown coat was none other than Kim Taeyeon. Her Taeyeon-ah. But as fate would have it, the lights turned red just as she was about to walk on the pedestrian lane to follow the short girl. Great. Just great.

 

People crowded the streets and she found herself pushed to the far back of the mass as they wait for the light to turn green again. A sigh and she shoved her hands in the pocket of her coat, deciding to just go home and rest.

 

**

 

“Unnie?” Soojung asked as soon as she saw the sulking Jessica enter their house. “What happened to you? Did you get robbed?”

 

“Robbed by fate.” She mumbled under her breath. Soojung raised her left brow, eyes puzzled.

 

“I’m just tired, Soojung. I want to sleep.” She lied.

 

“Okay.” Soojung’s reply was short as she her heels but halted midway, eyes glimmering in excitement.

 

“Unnie, before I forget, we’re attending an opening ceremony tomorrow. I was invited by my friend and she told me to bring a date and since I don’t have any, you’d be accompanying me.” It wasn’t a request, and Jessica knew right then and there that she had no other option than to ‘accompany’ her sister.

 

“And don’t worry about the dress, I’ll take care of it.” Soojung added before Jessica could even reply.

 

“Jung Soojung! Do you not have any faith in my styling abilities?” Jessica snapped, the thought of sleep long gone.

 

“Not that I don’t trust your abilities, miss fashion designer..” Soojung said as she slowly made her way beside Jessica, wrapping an arm around her older sister’s shoulder.

 

“It’s just that.. your choices are too.. extreme?” Soojung said, earning a jab on the ribs from the older girl.

 

“Unnie, you’re so violent. Is that what you learned in New York?” Soojung joked, rubbing her side.

 

“Whatever. I’ll go to sleep now.” Jessica said as she started walking to the stairs.

 

“Sleepyhead, it’s just three in the afternoon.” Soojung muttered as she watched her sister’s figure disappear from her line of sight.

 

**

 

 

 

The caramel-blond haired girl stood outside the large doors of a banquet hall clad in a little white dress abound in chantilly and leaf laces, a tulle party skirt peeks out from the high-low hemline that was just above her knee, the fitted bodice dips into a low back; exposing her milky white skin. She paired it with sparkly purple pumps, a purple purse and a light makeup that compliments her simple attire.

 

Jessica looked around her before opening the large doors and entering the large banquet hall. Her eyes scanned the hall, looking for her sister when she realized something: she was the only one dressed in white because most of the guests wore black or a dark color. She inwardly cussed herself for tossing aside the black dress Soojung had prepared for her; it was too simple for her liking.

 

“Unnie!” Her head turned to her right and saw Soojung making her way to her, eyes widened in disbelief.

 

“Unnie! I told you to wear the black dress.” Soojung whispered as she felt eyes around them. If it was because of the color of her dress or the dress itself; she’ll never know.

 

She shrugged her shoulders at her sister before she was dragged into one of the cocktail tables.

 

“But I must say, you look really good in that dress.” Soojung smiled widely at her sister, looking at her from head to toe.

 

“Thanks.” Jessica replied shortly and reciprocated the smile.

 

**

 

Taeyeon was nervous. No scratch that, Kim Taeyeon was anxious. It was her first time delivering a speech in front of a huge crowd, not to mention the possible clients that she’ll gain or not gain after this nerve wrecking speech. So when she heard her name being called by the emcee, she jumped a little, palms becoming sweaty and her lips quivered. Great. Just great.

 

A round of applause was heard before the girl in the little black dress made her way to the center of the makeshift stage and a spotlight was pointed at her, blinding her for a second. When the applause died down, Taeyeon breathed deep. Inhale, exhale, repeat. When the nervousness was bearable and her legs didn’t feel wobbly anymore, she gave out a professional smile to her audience before starting her short speech.

 

“Tonight, a dream came true..” She started and the audience listened with much interest as Architect Kim Taeyeon spoke.

 

“A dream that had always been imprinted in the depths of a Kim’s heart. My grandfather, my father and now, me.” Another smile.

 

“When I was younger, my appa used to tell me; do what your heart desires, Taeyeon. And I always thought; what is it that my heart desires? And I had no idea because all I wanted to do that time was eat ice cream.” A chuckle from the audience.

 

“But a year ago, just as I was on the verge of quitting my job, someone asked me what I wanted most in life. And I answered her without any hesitation; it was to be as good as appa.” Her eyes scanned the audience and for a moment she forgot what she’s supposed to say. Right there, dressed in white, looking out of place but standing out in the crowd that was mostly clad in black, was Jessica Jung. Her Jung Sooyeon. She blinked once, twice, thrice but the figure didn’t vanish like the many times it did. A nudge from the emcee had brought her out of her reverie.

 

“And I knew right then and there that I was always meant to hold technical pens and blue prints, always meant to leave my marks on the buildings I design and eventually to the people that would be occupying it. Kim Taeyeon was always meant to be Architect Kim Taeyeon even before she knew how to walk and talk.” A sincere, warm smile graced the architect’s lips as her eyes locked with chocolate brown orbs; mirroring the longing and desire in her own brown orbs.

 

The audience applauded as she finished her speech with a light bow before the projector played the new architectural firm’s presentation. And when the presentation finished, Taeyeon immediately got off the makeshift stage and made her way to the person she had always wanted to see.

 

“Taengoo!” However, her mother’s voice stopped her on her tracks as she came face to face with her sister and mother.

 

“Umma.” She smiled before giving them hugs.

 

“I am so proud of you, Taengoo-ah. I know your appa is more than proud.” A warm smile from her mother and she felt like crying.

 

“Thank you, umma. That means so much to me.” She said as she gave her mother another hug.

 

“Umma, I really need to see someone. I’ll be back, I promise.” She said after letting go of her mother and stalked off, leaving a puzzled Yoona as she saw her sister made her way to the cocktail table her friend, Krystal, was currently at.

 

**

 

Jessica felt uneasy. It wasn’t because of her dress, no, she’s used to wearing dresses like this. But she felt something she can’t put a word on. Thinking that it was just how out of place she looked, she shook it off.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Architect Kim Taeyeon!” She almost choked on her drink as she heard the emcee said through the microphone. It could be Taeyeon; her Taeyeon-ah, but an architect? Taeyeon never struck her as one, nor even looked like one.

 

As the emcee walked to the side of the mini stage, a figure clad in black mini dress and silver stilettos walked to the center, occupying the space the emcee just abandoned. She eyed the figure, making sure she doesn’t miss any feature, making sure this was her Taeyeon-ah. On the stage though, was a nervous Taeyeon, opposite to the cocky, dork-ice cream-eating Taeyeon she remembers. The Taeyeon on the stage started talking, her confidence slowly building. And in that moment, she saw a glimpse of her Taeyeon-ah.

 

She eyed Taeyeon from head to toe and back up, stopping on the laced hemline that exposed half of her white thighs. She grimaced at the dress, too short for her liking, too much skin was exposed. She felt the need to run to the stage right there and then, and just hug Taeyeon; hug Taeyeon until the void in her heart vanishes. Tell her how much she misses the girl, tell her how much things had changed since she came to her life; how much things had changed for the better. But she knew better than to make a scene. And so she waited, she waited for Taeyeon to finish her speech even if the minutes dragged like eternity. But she had waited for a year, what’s a couple of minutes, right?

 

And as if reading her mind, Taeyeon had finished her speech with a smile and bow. A presentation played from the projector and for the first time in Jessica’s life, she hated technology. The presentation finished and she saw Taeyeon happily went off the stage but wasn’t able to come any further because an elderly woman and a skinny tall girl called her before Taeyeon gave them hugs. Jessica’s heart ached as she saw Taeyeon giving the tall girl a hug. It came naturally, like they had been hugging all their lives. Another pang in the chest. Maybe Taeyeon had moved on.

 

“Unnie, that’s my friend.” Soojung tapped her arm to get her attention because she was spacing out again. Much to her distaste though, Soojung’s ‘friend’ happened to be the tall girl Taeyeon was hugging a while ago. Way to go.

 

**

 

The grin on Taeyeon’s face seemed to be permanent as she walked closer to the girl in white dress that looked like she was in the reception of her own wedding. Taeyeon chuckled.

 

“You seem lost.” A tap on the shoulder and Jessica her back to see Taeyeon sporting a dorky smile. The caramel-blond haired girl seemed to be flustered by her appearance.

 

“H—hi.” Jessica stuttered as she looked at the still smiling Taeyeon.

 

“Ahem.” An interruption and both her and Taeyeon turned to the other person on the table.

 

“Oh, right. Taeyeon this is—“ Jessica started introducing the two girls but was cut off when Taeyeon spoke.

 

“Krystal.” Taeyeon said, smiling at the youngest girl in the table. Soojung reciprocated the action like they had known each other for a long time.

 

“That’s why you look familiar. I always wondered where I saw you. And now I realized it was on those photo albums in Sooyeon’s apartment.” Taeyeon added and Soojung looked at her with puzzled eyes then to her sister.

 

“I met Tae—Architect Kim here when I was working in Vegas.” Jessica answered and Soojung nodded her head.

 

“Sica, it’s Taeyeon. Just Taeyeon.” Jessica looked off to the side when Taeyeon’s eyes shifted to hers from Soojung.

 

“Anyway, have you seen Yoona yet?” Taeyeon asked Soojung.

 

“No, I think she’s busy. She’s with your mom, right?” Soojung asked and Taeyeon answered with a nod of her head.

 

Are they married already? Why is the girl with her mom? Jessica thought frantically as she felt another pang in her chest.

 

“I guess I’ll go and say hello then.” Soojung said, taking one last sip from her drink. “Take care of unnie for me, okay?” A nod and a smile was Taeyeon’s answer.

 

There was a moment of silence before Taeyeon cleared to speak, like how Key would always do back when they were in Vegas.

 

“Let’s dance.” It wasn’t a request and Jessica had been dragged to the center of the hall before she could even protest. It was definitely the cocky Taeyeon she had known.

 

It always appeared before me

Your face, I remember

My heart that stopped short

You spitefully took my dysfunctional heart

And with your bright smile

That's how you easily opened my heart

 

The music was slow, and sweet. The melody was perfectly played. Their surrounding was turning into a blur once again, like how it did in Vegas.

 

Taeyeon inched closer, taking in the familiar lavender scent emitting from Jessica. Soothing, comforting, familiar, warm; it was everything she remembered it to be. She held Jessica tighter by the waist just to make sure she was real and not just a fragment of some dream. The sly girl flinched and a satisfied smile danced along Taeyeon’s lips as the younger girl’s grip on her shoulders tightened too. Another small step and she was inches away from Jessica.

 

It's true, that is how I became your man

All my unpleasant memories, I no longer recall

Because the hand that holds me tight

is as warm as spring

And now like a dream my heart

has gradually stopped by your side

Without awakening for a single moment,

I dream an endless dream

 

“I missed you.” Taeyeon broke the silence that had enveloped them, letting her words get into Jessica’s heart. But the girl seemed to have gotten mute.

 

“Where have you been? I have been searching for you.” She added when Jessica kept mum.

 

A sigh escaped her lips as her tears were on the verge of falling. This was not how she imagined it to be. Definitely not. She imagined Jessica hugging her and telling her how much she missed her and that it had been lonely without her. She imagined every possible scenario but this. The silence was killing her.

 

She wasn’t aware that a lone tear had rolled off her cheek until she felt Jessica’s knuckles brushed it away.

 

“I missed you too.” It was low and hushed, but Taeyeon heard it nonetheless. Their eyes locked again.

 

“I’ve been to New York. I followed your advice on doing what I want the most.” Jessica said as a small smile lingered on her lips.

 

“You left me.” There was sadness in Taeyeon’s voice but her eyes never left Jessica’s.

 

“I was afraid.. that I’d wake up on an empty bed.. that you’ll be gone in the morning. So I decided that I’d leave first.. That way I don’t have to deal with the heartache. But it was inevitable. It still hurts even if I was the one that left.” A guilty feeling grew inside Jessica. It was the first time she felt it. Maybe it was because of the hurt expression in Taeyeon’s eyes.

 

“I was going to stay.” Taeyeon said and Jessica’s eyes widened.

 

“But you’re here now. That’s what matters, right?” Taeyeon said as she tried to brighten up the mood.

 

And now like breathing,

if you were to always rest by my side

if you were to always remain this way

nothing better nothing better than you

nothing better nothing better than you

And now like a dream, my heart

in your embrace, is held still

Without awakening for a single moment,

I dream an endless dream

 

Taeyeon leaned closer, not being able to control herself anymore. Their faces were centimeters away when Jessica’s hand came in between.

 

“Taeyeon, don’t.” Jessica said in a stern voice. Taeyeon could only look at her with puzzled eyes.

 

“Your wife wouldn’t like it.” Jessica said as her finger pointed somewhere in Taeyeon’s back. Taeyeon followed the direction Jessica was pointing and as soon as she saw the figure the girl was referring to as her ‘wife’, she tried hard to suppress her laughter.

 

“Pabo.” A chaste kiss was placed on Jessica’s lips before a cocky grin appeared on Taeyeon’s face.

 

And now like breathing,

if you were to always rest by my side

if you were to always remain this way

nothing better nothing better than you

nothing better nothing better than you

 

“That’s Yoona, my sister.” Jessica’s face heat up instantly and a grin reappeared on Taeyeon’s face.

 

nothing better nothing better than you