Serin stopped chewing her lunch in shock as she listened to the song. Talking to Hoon had given her a few hints as to what their comeback song was going to be like. But she hadn’t really been expecting to be blown away like she felt right now. And then the music video. Her cute Hoonie had tried his best to be as full of swag and charisma as the others, but he’d really only managed to do some fierce aegyo. Soohyun and AJ had definitely stolen the show there.

She had watched the video a few more times, feeling a bit pressed for time because she really should have gotten back to working five minutes ago. But she had downloaded the album to her phone and was listening to it while finishing her lunch. Through Mysterious Lady, through the single, but then she’d heard Lights Out. She couldn’t believe the lyrics. And then Hoon had… he had just… thrown out an invitation to his bed. He had stayed over at her place a few nights recently. And though nothing had happened, she had sure wished it had. She played the verse over again before letting the rest of the album play. She sent a quick and simple text message to Hoon. “WOW! The album is daebak!”

He must have been getting his hair or makeup done because he answered her quickly. “Thanks! I’m very glad you like it.”

“Good luck today. I’ll be watching!” she responded just as quickly.

“Thanks.”

When she got the message, she wanted to reply. It had been quite some time since she’d last had . Since before her former fiancée has called off the wedding, and that one song was causing her no small amount of lust. But how to approach it? He had sort of... seemed, not disinterested, in the prospect of having , but like too chivalrous and kind to bring it up. She had shared her bed with him several nights over the last two weeks, which had made her long for his touch more than usual. She wanted to feel him, deeply, intimately, in ways that filled her completely. Unfortunately, it was still a bit of an awkward topic to bring up. After thinking through the appropriate wording, she typed out, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you tonight. Come over after you’re done with your schedules for the day.”

“It’ll be late,” was his reply.

“That’s fine. Or um… I could go over there and wait for you. Since that’s closer.”

“That sounds like a better idea,” he replied. “I’ll let Hoonbi and Soohyun know.”

With the conversation finished, and her mind still buzzing, but with some promise of relief in the near future, she returned to her work, though quite distracted. She somehow made it to the end of the day, said goodbyes to her coworkers, before heading to her father’s office. “Appa,” she said as she walked in, “I just wanted to say bye.”

Hyunsu looked up from the document he was reading. “Ah Serin. Come sit down for a second,” he said, motioning to the empty chair in front of his desk.

She did as he asked.

“How are things going?”

She looked at him, puzzled by the question. “Well,” she said finally. “Everything is getting in order for the contract to go through with the company in Italy. Just have to sign things officially and get marketing on the publicity for it.”

“That’s not what I mean. How are you?”

“Me? I’m well. Healthy and happy. I don’t think there’s much else I could ask for.”

He shook his head again. “How are things with your boyfriend?”

She flushed at the question, remembering her thoughts from earlier in the day. “I don’t have any complaints,” she said quickly. “He’s still super sweet. Kind and thoughtful.”

“Do you mind not seeing him often?” he asked.

“A little. But I’m gone almost as often as he is. I’m okay with being patient for him.”

Hyunsu picked up the warmth and happiness in her voice. The respect and admiration and love she held for the young man. “Serin,” he said seriously, but with compassion, “I don’t care who you date, as long as they keep you happy. I don’t want the past to repeat itself.”

“Neither do I, appa,” she told him.

“I love you, my precious daughter,” he told her then, standing up to walk around to give her a hug. She kissed his cheek in return.

“Love you, Daddy,” she said with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With those parting words, she headed to the parking garage, and drove home. Once there, she quickly packed a bag, and drove the short distance to the guy’s apartment.

Hoonbi let her in when she arrived, and made sure that the channel was turned to MCountdown to watch the comeback stage. Neither one really expected the group to win tonight. It was too soon after the release. The album sales would have been too low. But they sat together watching the program, chatting as they did so. “I’m going out tonight, then,” Hoonbi announced eventually.

“Oh, okay,” Serin told him.

“Make yourself at home, just don’t touch my stuff.”

“I won’t,” she said. “I’m not nosy.”

He got ready to leave, while Serin sat and watched more TV. She eventually got up to get ready for bed, and as she was brushing her teeth, she heard her phone vibrate. She rinsed the toothpaste out, and not looking at the caller, she simply answered the call. She’d been expecting Hoon’s voice but was met with an entirely different, but just as familiar male voice.

“Hey, Serin,” he said.

She frowned. “What do you want?” she asked, disinterested.

“To see how you’re doing. I dated you for years. Can’t I be worried about your welfare?”

“Well, sure Josh,” she said, expressing no emotion. “But being worried doesn’t mean you have to contact me.”

“What’s the matter? You don’t have to be so cold to me.”

“Why did you really call me?” she asked.

“To apologize. I feel really bad for what I did to you. I got scared of the commitment and called things off.”

“I don’t care what you did. Or why,” she replied. “But I would really appreciate if you didn’t contact me ever again.”

“I know I hurt you. I found another girl and escaped, but I never loved her like I loved you, Serin…”

“Don’t say my name. You and I are over. Done.”

“Won’t you give me a chance?” he begged.

“Absolutely not,” Serin said firmly. “I did enjoy our happy times together, but you broke my heart. You left me in pieces that I cleaned up myself and put back together. I rebuilt myself. I’m better without you. I have a boyfriend who I wouldn’t give up for the world. And you will never, ever compare to him. So please, for your sake, and for mine, just leave me be. You won’t ever win me back.”

“You’ve got a boyfriend?” he asked, incredulous. “That fast?”

“It’s been over a year since you called off our wedding. Were you expecting me to just be sitting around pining over you?” she asked, sort of amused at his naivety.

He couldn’t give her an answer from the other end.

Finally she told him, “You and I are done. There is no going back. I moved on, and I had thought you had, too. So please, just leave me be.” She hung her phone up then, not bothering to say goodbye, and blocked the number. She went to Hoon’s bed, hoping for him to be back soon. She was sure she no longer had feelings for him, but she had loved him for a very long time, and despite the calm, rational way she had spoken with him, she worried. Worried that maybe, just maybe, she did still have feelings for Josh, and everything she’d rebuilt so carefully would come crumbling apart.

She dozed off as she thought, somehow managing to sleep peacefully, though her mind was in turmoil, the fact that the bed smelled of Hoon putting her mind at ease.

--

It was about 12:30 AM when Hoon finally returned to the apartment. He walked into his room and gazed at Serin’s peacefully sleeping form. After only a few nights, he was getting attached to having her beside him like this. He showered and changed quickly, climbing into bed beside her as quietly as he could manage. She stirred when she felt the bed move.

“You did awesome in the performance today,” she told him groggily, not opening her eyes or turning to look at him.

“Thanks,” he said.

She rolled onto her back then and looked up at him. “You know, that song on the album… the Lights Out one? Do you actually think that?”

He flushed at the question, aware that she was referring to the ual nature of the song, perhaps more particularly his lyrics in the song. “Why are you asking?”

“Because I’d like to know. Is that something you think about me? That my lines are perfect? That you want me in your bed in your room?”

He relaxed a bit, a light chuckle escaping his lips. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”

“Do you mean it? Like you do in the song?”

“I didn’t write those lyrics,” he admitted. “But I don’t disagree with them.”

Serin was desperate for his touch. She had felt it this afternoon as she was simply listening to the song. But as she’d heard from her ex-fiancée, she was seeking more validation than she might have earlier in the day. “Make love to me,” she said softly.

“Are you sure? I mean you’ve never… and I haven’t…”

“I have, Hoonmin,” she admitted quietly.

He stared at her seriously as he sat on the bed next to her. “You have? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret from you. Just this is the first time the subject’s come up, and I want you to know that you’re not my first. I told you I lived with him. I would have thought you’d have assumed… Ah, just you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not scared. I know what I’m asking for.”

He let the words sink in, considering, before he finally replied. “I guess I should have figured that out, huh? Still, it’s kind of sad to me,” he said timidly. “That you’d give something so special to a guy who treated you so poorly.”

“I know. I regret it and probably always will.”

He bent down to kiss her then, passionate and strong. He pulled away after a few moments and sighed. “I’m a little upset about it. Not upset at you or anything, just upset about it,” he confessed to her, “but I’m glad you told me.”

“I’m so sorry, Hoonie,” she whispered to him. “I wish I hadn’t. With every fiber of my being, I wish I could have had you as my first time instead.”

He kissed her again, pulling her close to him, embracing her as he kissed her deeply. He moved back again, looking her in the eyes intensely, before he quietly said, “I want you as my first. My only.” He went back to kissing her, exploring her body more intensely than he ever had before, and he lost himself in her.

--

That morning, Serin was out of bed first. Unsurprising, as she usually did wake up pretty early. She had showered, gotten dressed and was in the kitchen making breakfast when Hoon finally got out of bed, which wasn’t really all that late because he had to get up and go with the other members to have his hair and makeup done for the next music show. She smiled brightly at him when she saw him walking in, saying, “Good morning, Hoonie. Sleep well?”

“Yes, Serin,” he responded. “I feel great this morning.” She finished breakfast and set the meal on the table in front of him. He ate and left, leaving her alone again to finish getting ready for work. She was walking into her office when she got a phone call. Hoon.

“Hello,” she said brightly.

“Hey,” he said, sounding a bit rushed. “They’re cancelling the show for tonight. We’re going to practice extra hard today, but it looks like we’ll be done pretty early. I’ll be going to the gym, but let’s go do something afterwards.”

“Oh. I’ll think about what to do, and let you know later. I just got to work, and I’m sure you’re pretty busy right now, too,” Serin said.

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yep, I’ll text you with a plan later. Bye! Love you.”

He said goodbye on the other end, and she disconnected the call. When it came to going out on dates with him there was only one place that came to mind. The place where they’d met, and often would have dinner and a few drinks at while playing music together. But part of her wanted to go outside of the norm. There were plenty of other places that catered to secret idol relationships. But she had gone a few times, and they never felt as comfortable to her as the piano bar. So she texted Hoon when she had a chance to let him know that she’d decided on their old standby.

He agreed, telling her he’d likely be around by like 6. So she could wait for him at home and they’d go together or she could meet him there. She decided to meet him there, simply for the sake of secrecy, and set the meeting time for 7. In a decidedly happy mood, she worked through her day, focusing on getting as much done as possible. She was leaving for a road trip soon, and needed to get things organized for it.

Finished with her day, she headed home to get ready for her date, before walking the short distance to her favorite bar. She was greeted warmly when she walked in. “Serin! It’s good to see you! You want your usual room and drinks?”

She smiled kindly at him. “Yes, ahjussi.”

“Go on in then. I’ll bring the drinks in for you when they’re ready.”

“Thank you very much,” she said, and then headed into the small, familiar back room. The one with the electric keyboard. She sat down, relaxing in the comfortable environment. A bartender brought in the two bottles of soju along with her rum and coke. “I’ll take another rum and coke then,” she told him before he left.

The door closed, and Serin glanced at the time. 6:50. Hoon would be here soon. She had nearly finished her first drink when the bartender brought her the second, and as the door closed behind him, it opened again and in walked an unwelcome guest.

She scowled at him. “What are you doing here?” she said, unpleasantly surprised.

“Oh come on, Serin,” Josh said smoothly. “I just wanted to talk to you. And you just hung up on me and blocked my phone calls. I figured you’d be here. You always were.”

“Please leave me alone. Get out of here.”

But he wasn’t going to leave. He was here for a reason, and that reason was to weasel his way back into her life. Whether it was because his feelings were genuine or because of some material motivation, he was trying to get her back. “Serin,” he said, voice sickeningly sweet, “I can’t let you go. You mean too much to me still.”

“You mean nothing to me,” she said solemnly. “You were a mistake that I’d rather forget about.”

He grabbed her wrist and hauled her out of her seat, determined look in his eyes. “Just give me a chance. I promise I won’t hurt you again.”

“I told you. I have a boyfriend who I love very much. I will not give him up to take a chance on someone who I know has no qualms about stepping all over my feelings. You hurt me, Josh, and the scar will always be there. Please don’t try to rip it open again.”

The door opened and Hoon walked in. “What’s going on here?” Hoon asked evenly, though Serin could hear the faint anger rising in his tone as he surveyed the room and saw a guy he didn’t know holding her wrist.

Josh turned to look at him, dropping Serin’s wrist and eyeing Hoon defiantly. He didn’t know who Hoon was, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to back away from the challenge. “We were just having a nice chat about old times, weren’t we, Serin?”

Hoon looked at Serin. “Serin, what’s going on?” he asked calmly.

She met his eyes with desperation. “I’m sure you remember me telling you about him. He’s my ex. I’ve asked him to leave me alone, but he can’t seem to take the hint.”

Hoon frowned and returned his gaze back to the stranger whom he disliked out of principle. “She wants you to go,” Hoon told him. “And if you don’t leave on your own, I’ll forcibly remove you.”

“Who are you to have any say in this at all?”

“Who am I? I suppose I don’t have much say at all, but I won’t stand to have you bothering and disrespecting my girlfriend. When she asks you to leave her alone, you do it.”

“Your girlfriend?” Josh scoffed. “She’d never like a pretty boy like you.”

Serin, who had just been watching them in uncertainty, spoke up then. “I don’t think you’re qualified to decide what I do and don’t like.” She walked over to Hoon then, clutching his arm tightly, pressing against his side. “You lost your chance, Joshua. Give it up,” she asserted.

Hoon glanced over at her. She was anxious. She was shaking against him, and Hoon felt the need to protect her. He already didn’t like the guy. Serin had told him the circumstances of how they broke up over a year ago, why she’d been so upset when he’d met her in this same piano bar by chance. They’d met in college when she was in the states, and he’d moved back to Korea with her since she was guaranteed a job. They’d lived together. Serin, much like she was with Hoon, had devoted herself to him, making sure he was happy and content, and they were both happy together, but when she’d started going away on business trips all the time, he’d lost interest in her. He cheated on her when she left, and eventually, as the time for their wedding got closer he started to panic. She’d gotten back one day to find all of his stuff out of her house, and a note that said he was breaking up with her and going home to the US. All of this had given Hoon an extremely low opinion of him. Meeting him now made Hoon realize exactly how much this guy rubbed him the wrong way. He showed up out of the blue over a year later and was totally disregarding Serin’s feelings and requests. The longer he stood here and observed and spoke to him, the more he felt the possessive alpha male within him beg to be released from its cage.

The guy walked up to pull her away. “Just come talk to me, Serin.”

And that was the last straw. Hoon stepped up to him, blocking Serin from his sight. “She is mine,” he growled. “Don’t you dare lay a hand on her. Back off.”

“What are you going to do to stop me, pretty boy?” Josh asked.

Hoon scowled. “I’ll do what I must if you keep trying to hurt her. I’ll make sure you regret it.”

Josh just smirked. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Get lost,” Hoon told him darkly. “You don’t know her at all. She is way too good for you. Don’t bother her anymore. Don’t even look at her.”

He snorted in derision. “I don’t care about your empty threats.”  He was trying to take Serin by the wrist again, which forced the rage that had building inside Hoon, the anger he’d been subduing, to erupt.

Hoon intercepted the offending arm, grabbing Joshua’s wrist and twisting it around, throwing the guy to the floor. “I told you not to touch her,” he snarled at the man.

Serin had never seen this aggressive side of Hoon. She knew he was competitive, hated losing. When they played basketball, he’d try to go easy on her until he started losing. But he was angry and aggressive, and his fierce, masculine aura impressed her. However, she was aware she couldn’t let this go on. Hoon absolutely did not need to get into a fight here and have any kind of legal trouble. So she stepped up and said, “Hoon, let’s go. I think you’ve proved your point. “

“Why should we leave?” Hoon asked, angry. “He’s the one who’s interrupting us.”

Josh stood up. “I’m not done with you yet,” he remarked cockily. As Josh went to throw a punch at Hoon, Serin’s first thought was to protect him, to keep him out of the fight because getting into a fight over this and getting in trouble would be so detrimental to his career. She stepped in front of Hoon, and took the punch to the jaw. She recoiled in pain, falling to her knees as she cupped her injury, and the two men looked at her in shock, before Hoon angrily turned back to him, completely ready to beat him to dust.

“Do not fight him, Hoonmin,” Serin commanded through gritted teeth. He was reluctant, not able to fight down the testosterone rushing through his body, still itching for a fight. Serin touched his leg to distract him. “Don’t fight him, Hoonie,” she said, softly this time. Hoon’s attention returned to her, and very slowly he felt the urge to fight subside and the need to check on her grow. He forcibly pushed his anger aside and knelt down beside her to make sure she was okay. He examined her face, which was quite red, but fortunately didn’t seem to be bruising.

“Nothing seems broken,” he told her. “It’ll hurt for awhile though.”

Josh just stood there watching in abject disbelief. He tried to slink away, but Serin noticed him inching toward the door. “Don’t you just think you’re going to get away with that,” she told him. Standing up, she resolutely walked toward him, and slapped him across the face. “Get it through your thick head. I. Want. Nothing. To. Do. With. You. Even if I didn’t have him,” she said, gesturing to Hoon, “you’d still be out of luck. If my father or brothers find out that you’re trying to get back into my life, they’ll personally come take you out of it. So just watch it. The safest bet for you is to just go home to the States. I don’t know why you thought you could just waltz in here and get me back.”

Hoon was standing behind her now, hands on her arms to steady her. The other guy seemed to be in shock, and before he could say anything else or cause any more trouble, Serin went to grab her bag, she took Hoon’s hand, and she briskly walked out of the room. Hoon said to her quietly, “Take the back way out to your car. I’ll pay. Meet up at your place?”

She was still stressed, shaking as adrenaline rushed through her body. He felt anxious about having to separate from her right now, but he couldn’t be seen with her in public. Hoon squeezed her hand supportively, and she walked away. He went to the front and paid for the drinks they hadn’t even drank. The owner looked at him quizzically. “Why are you leaving so soon?”

“Her ex showed up,” Hoon said lowly, making sure he wasn’t overheard. The owner’s eyes lit up in understanding. Being the father of one of her closest girl friends, he was pretty aware of that whole situation.

“I’ll make sure things are taken care of,” he said, returning Hoon’s change. “And do come back again when you get another chance.”

“We will.” He walked out of the bar and got into his car. Serin’s wasn’t there, so he assumed that she had left already, unaware that she’d actually walked. He was quite hungry, having not eaten much all day, and when he saw a carry out place, he stopped in. He sent Serin a quick text message to let her know that he was going to be a bit late because he’d stopped for dinner and to see if she wanted anything in particular. She said whatever he wanted was fine, and he simply proceeded with ordering more than the two of them could probably eat in one night.

He tried not to explore his feelings about what had happened earlier too deeply. He was unsettled by it. Serin’s ex had had the nerve to come in and pretend like she still wanted to be with him. It made him angry. He was seething just thinking about it. He tried shaking the feeling, focusing on other things, but try as he might to keep the urge down, he still felt the need to bare his fangs. He wanted to assert his dominance, make sure that that guy would never even look at Serin ever again. His train of thought was interrupted when the food was ready. He took it, got in his car, and continued the rest of the way to Serin’s apartment.

When he got in, he set the food on the table, and promptly went to see how Serin was. He found her, hugged her, and she buried her face into his chest. She took a sharp breath in when she pressed her jaw against him too hard.

“Are you okay?” Hoon asked seriously. “Your jaw doesn’t hurt too much, does it? I’ll go and get you ice or something if you need it.”

“I’m okay,” she said. “It hurts, but I’m okay.”

He stepped away from her, looking down into her eyes. “Why’d you step in there? I could have handled him.”

“Because you could have handled him. If you had gotten into a fight and hurt him, what would happen if he pressed charges against you?”

“Would he have done that?” Hoon asked, surprised at her train of thought.

“I wouldn’t put it past him. But just, whatever you do, don’t fight with him. I don’t want my problems to mess things up for you.”

“But they’re my problems now, too. Because I love you and want you to be happy,” Hoon told her.

“I know,” she said. “But just… don’t fight him. You don’t need that. I’ll ask Hyunsaeng to spend some time with me. Hyunsaeng and him hated each other. He won’t approach me while my older brother’s around. Plus, Hyunsaeng won’t have the public backlash if he gets into a fight keeping Josh away from me. Just relax and let me handle this.”

“Okay,” he reluctantly agreed.

She grabbed his hands. “Trust me. I can get rid of him for good. I know he probably seems like a threat to you, to me, but you fighting with him is only going to make him want to fight back. He will not ever take me away from you. My heart is only yours,” she said.

He pulled her into another hug then, a tight, close hug, moving to kiss her on the lips. He was extra gentle because, though she said her jaw felt fine, he especially did not want to cause her more pain. Try as he might, she still grimaced and pulled away. “You should eat,” she said regretfully.

“Come eat with me,” he said.

“I probably can’t have anything. It’s too sore to chew.”

“At least try. I’ll make you Chinese style egg drop soup if you really can’t eat it at all.” She complied with his wish, picking through the carry out and slowly, cautiously eating what she could.

“I feel so sorry for this. You got hurt, and it’s my fault.”

“I told you not to worry about it,” Serin gently chided. “You should focus on your promotions and the drama. In fact, you probably shouldn’t even be here. I’m going to keep you awake. You need as much sleep as you can get.”

“There’s few places I’d rather be than by your side,” he admitted to her then. “Without you around… I don’t think I could sleep. Not anymore. It’s restful and nice when I’m with you. I feel refreshed when I get up. I’m starting to get dependent on you. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep without you by my side.”

“Then don’t leave,” she said.

“When’s your trip?” Hoon asked her suddenly.

“Almost two weeks from now.”

“You’ll miss a good part of our promotions. Then we’re off to Japan for awhile.”

“Then stay here with me until I leave.”

“I’ll do that,” he said. He continued eating as he spoke, while Serin slowly and steadily picked at her food, eating more than either of them had really thought she would.

“Let’s go to bed early tonight,” Serin suggested when she was done eating what she could manage.

Hoon smiled at her kindly. “I’d love to. Maybe I can get more sleep than usual.”

“Well, I wasn’t necessarily planning on sleeping,” she insinuated.

His ears turned just a bit pinker than they were before. “Oh. Well that’s okay, too.”

With his help, she cleaned up their dinner. Taking his hand, she led the way to her bedroom, and she told him when they got there, “I want to feel that I’m yours. Thoroughly and completely. I can’t really kiss you, but though I can’t claim you with my mouth, I can claim you with my heart. You are mine, just as much as I am yours. Nothing can change that.”

He nodded, kissing her gently as he pulled her closer to him. “Nothing will ever change that.”