Jongin knew that he was dying when he opened his eyes to a burning bright light. The light wasn’t hurting his eyes, surprisingly. It emits out a warmth, a warmth that allowed Jongin to forget all about the pain for a while.

He could make out a silhouette in that light. A man who had wings. Wings—colour of purity and innocence as if it has never been tainted by any of the sins in the world.  An angel? Jongin finally made his conclusion concerning the winged man. Ahh I must be in heaven, he thought.

“Am I dead?” He managed to whisper, voice a little raspy from the lack of water after being unconscious for a few days.

“You’re alive. Go back to sleep human, you’re not supposed to be awake yet.” The winged man pointed out his index finger, a blue light at the tip and placed it on Jongin’s forehead.

Jongin tried to fight back the heaviness of his eyelids but it was futile. He gave in, allowing himself to fall back into a slumber, unsure of when’s the next time he’s going to wake up again.
 

Jongin’s eyelids fluttered as he opens them, trying to get used to the light. He remembered that dream he had and looked around the room, looking for that bright light. Nope, nothing. All he saw was the little red table by the side with withering flowers. He made mental reminder to ask the nurses to change it.

He counted the last time he had his chemotherapy. It was three days ago. He’s been sleeping ever since then. Body getting weaker due to the amount of foreign chemicals pumped into his body in order to kill the cancerous cells. It hurts but he knows that this pain is what’s keeping him alive.

He tried to sit up, ignoring the fact that he’s been lying down for way too long, his head is getting a little fuzzy.

“You’re finally awake?”  Jongin whipped his head to where the window was, eyes widening. It wasn’t just a dream. He did saw an angel.

“You…you are real?”

“Yes I am.”

Jongin blinked a couple of times, eyeing him from head to toe. He was clad in white, like how his wings were. His skin was fairly fair, having a certain glow on it. His right arm tattooed with a golden olive branch from where his elbow started, all the way to his middle finger, coiling around it, marking its end.

There were golden flakes around his eyes, intensifying the browns in his eyes. Golden anklets around both his ankles and a small little tear shaped pendant around his neck. Enchanting was the word that Jongin used to describe him. 

“Am I such a wonder to look at?” Jongin blinked, the winged man coming closer to him.

“What are you?” He finally asked, curious the about the identity of the winged man.

The winged man smiles. “I’m angel Do Kyungsoo and I’m your angel for…” His eyes darted to the right and appeared to be thinking. “As long as you’re alive?” 

So he is going to die after all. He had mixed feelings about dying. Happy that he’s finally getting rid of all this pain he’s been enduring and sad that he’s never going to fulfil his dream of completing a hundred dance recitals.

Kyungsoo nodded, looking a little sad. “Are you afraid of death?”

Jongin pondered and shook his head. “On the contrary, I’m ready for it.”

Kyungsoo was taken aback by his response. “All my other humans were afrai-no, terrified. They begged me to help them but what can I do? Your death has already been decided on the day you were born. I’m just a mere angel, I can’t anything.”

“So you’re going to collect my soul and bring it up to the heavens once I’m gone?”

Kyungsoo stopped playing with his fingers and nodded his head apologetically, mumbling a ‘sorry I can’t do much to help you’

Jongin couldn’t understand why wasn’t Kyungsoo used to the fact that people die when they’re sick or when their time is up. He knew he was going to be stuck with Kyungsoo for a long long time and it wasn’t that he minded it or anything but…

“Can others see you?”

Kyungsoo’s head jerked up. “No, only you could.” 

Jongin nodded in response and their conversation was cut short when the nurse came in with a wheelchair, a scene that he’s so familiar with. “Kim Jongin, time for your chemotherapy.” He muttered a thank you before sitting down lightly on the wheelchair, eyes fixed on Kyungsoo the entire time.

The sunrays peeking in through the blinds made Kyungsoo looked even more magical. Kyungsoo waved. “I’ll be here when you get back.” Kyungsoo ensured. Jongin gave a small nod to him and allowed himself to be wheeled out of the room.

It was comforting to know that someone’s in your ward waiting for you instead of returning to an empty room which smells like antiseptic and hospital robes. Kyungsoo was there, just like he claimed, sitting on Jongin’s bed, eating an apple.

“Welcome back.” Kyungsoo smiled and Jongin’s heart skipped a beat. Today’s session wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t as draining as the last time, even though he still felt a little weak. “So…”

Kyungsoo repositioned himself on the red chair (that came along with the red table). “Do you have anything that you wished to do? As your appointed angel, and as it is written as rule number twenty-five, I shall help my  human to fulfil any unfulfilled wishes”

Jongin laughed weakly.  “Angels have rules too?”

Kyungsoo nodded his head, eager to share it all with Jongin. Kyungsoo was barely a third through it when he realised that Jongin had fell asleep, exhausted after going through his treatment. He smiled and went over to Jongin, covering him up well and tight and brushing a few strays that were covering his eyes.

“Sleep tight Kim Jongin and I’ll see you in the morning.”

+++

Jongin woke up to the sound of someone humming a lullaby. ‘Open arms’, he recognised the song as. He opened his eyes and looked around the room for Kyungsoo, remembering that he did met an angel and he decided that he liked him and he wants to be friends.

“You’re awake!” Kyungsoo giggled. “I should stop saying that everytime you open your eyes. Good morning. Slept well?”

Jongin smiled, nodding. It was chemo-free day. Usually on days like that, he just laze around, exploring the unexplored parts of the hospital, talking to some of the nurses and visiting random patient wards.

Jongin’s thoughts were interrupted when Kyungsoo shoved a pen and a roll of parchment paper into his face. He looked at Kyungsoo and frowned. “What’s this for?”

Kyungsoo happily stuffs the pen into Jongin’s hands and unrolled the paper onto the side table, successfully teleporting the things on it to the red table with the snap of his fingers. “Bucket list. All humans need to have a bucket list. It essential while you’re still alive…pretty much from what I heard from my past humans.”

Jongin was curious about these past humans that Kyungsoo kept on mentioning. He doesn’t exactly look old so how many past humans could he have anyway. He placed the pen down, much to Kyungsoo’s displeasure.

“How many humans did you have before me?” It sounded a little weird because it sounded like he was interrogating a boyfriend on how many boyfriends he had before him. Kyungsoo stared at Jongin, stunned, since this was the first time someone ever asked a question like this.

He thought about it. “At least three hundred, kids excluded. It’s too painful to include them.”

“You have three hundred or more humans before me?! Were their lives really short or something. That is quite impossible considering the fact that you’re so young”

Kyungsoo burst into laughter, eyes squeezing itself shut. “I’m young? That is the funniest joke of the century Kim Jongin.”

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo weirdly and crossed his arms. “I don’t get why is it so funny”

“Listen, I’m close to a hundred and eighty five years old Jongin and that is not young…at least for you” Jongin’s jaw dropped when Kyungsoo mentioned his age. A hundred and eighty five? That doesn’t look like a hundred and eighty five years old to anybody at all.

“Angels are mythical creatures. We don’t age like you do.” Kyungsoo said before Jongin asked anymore questions, successfully ending the talk on him being nine times older than him.

Kyungsoo managed to force Jongin to write down the bucket list after much persuasion and groaning about ‘let me die in peace, that’s my biggest wish ever’ Kyungsoo dragged him out of the hospital to their first destination.

The amusement park. Kyungsoo magically changes into his human form—wings gone and his clothes were normal. A basic white tee shirt and some skinny jeans. The gold flakes were no longer there and the tattoo became a ring around his middle finger.

“Wow, you look surprisingly human” Jongin receives a knock on his head.

“I am a human idiot. Now let’s go.”

It has been more than ten years since Jongin last visited the amusement park. Their first ride was the roller coaster. Definitely the roller coaster. Kyungsoo gripped onto Jongin’s arm tightly, afraid to open up his eyes. After that it was the bumper cars. Kyungsoo had fun taking revenge on Jongin after being called a scaredy cat by him. He knocked into Jongin so hard he almost fell out of his seat himself.

Kyungsoo was being dragged onto the Gyro Tower ride by Jongin. “If you sit this, I promise I’ll stop teasing you” and Kyungsoo readily agreed to it. Kyungsoo was amazed by the view up there. He could see the hospital from there, the sea, skyscrapers and everything.  It’s way better than he was flying among the clouds.

They went for the teacups afterwards and it was indeed a funny scene to see two guys sticking out of the tiny teacups for kids like that. Jongin and Kyungsoo laughed it off, teasing one another.

By the time they reached their last ride, the sun was already setting. Jongin looked at his watch. “Kyungsoo, we have to return now. The nurses are going to find out.”

Kyungsoo frowns and pointed to the huge circle with little cabins hanging on it. “No amusement park outing is complete without the ferris wheel Jongin. We have to ride it and besides, I could get us back in no time.”

Kyungsoo dragged the uncertain Jongin over to the white cabin, and comfortably sets themselves inside of the small space.

“Thank you for doing this with me.” Jongin shyly said, face a little red from the sun.

Kyungsoo turned to look at Jongin who then smiled. “You’re my human, that’s the least I could do for you.”

Jongin nodded. “How…hmm, did you choose me to be your human?”

“Well sort of.” Kyungsoo shifts into a more comfortable position, now facing Jongin. “I was made to choose between a few people and I think you were the most favourable out of the many. I’m glad I picked you.”

Jongin stared at Kyungsoo, a warm bubbly feeling forming in his heart. “I’m glad you picked me too”

Their conversation ended on a short note after the park helper opened their door to the cabin, thanking them. Kyungsoo told Jongin to wait for him while he heads to the toilet, changing back into his angel form.

Within seconds, they were back in the hospital, Jongin in his usual robes and as if on time, the nurse opened the door, revealing that it was time for dinner. Jongin heaved a sigh of relief and wondered what will happen if they got back a second later.

“Seems like we did it.”

Jongin smiled, nodding his head as he picked up a spoonful of rice, putting it into his mouth. He was hungry after a long day out. By the time Jongin had finished his dinner and playing a round of SNAP with Kyungsoo and showering, changing into a fresh set of gown, he was ready for bed.

“Hey Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo hummed a response.

“What do you normally do when I’m sleeping? Isn’t it bored for you to sit there for eight or more hours straight?” Jongin looked over at him who was sitting on the red table, reading a book.

“I read. See?” He lifted up his book. ‘Letters to God’ Jongin snickers. “I didn’t know that angels read too.”

“We angels do a lot of things you don’t know about. What do you expect? We live about a thousand years and more and you expect us to not do what you normal humans do?” Kyungsoo flew over to Jongin, knocking him lightly on the head.

Jongin flinches, staring at Kyungsoo. His eyes shifted over to his wings, giving off a light glow. “It’s pretty.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your wings. They’re pretty.”

It was dark, the lights are off but Jongin was pretty sure that Kyungsoo’s cheeks were slightly tainted pink. Jongin held back a laugh and faked a yawn. “Goodnight Kyungsoo, see you tomorrow morning”

+++

Day by day, the bucket list that Jongin wrote reveals itself. Watching the sunset being the second, Kyungsoo brought him up to the rooftop at about six in the evening and they spent the whole time there waiting for the sun to set.

Getting a tattoo was the third. Kyungsoo was a little unsure about this. It was Jongin’s bucket list after all so he didn’t say no to it. Although nagging all the way to the tattoo parlour about ‘Jongin, a tattoo is a permanent thing. Once you get it, there’s no turning back.’

Jongin hushed him up with the ‘okays’ he got from the doctor. “Dr Zhang said that it’s fine to go live my life the way I want to and it doesn’t affect my health in anyway so stop worrying.”

A little angel wing connected to a pair of ballet shoes with words at the bottom ‘Heaven is a place on Earth with you’ beautifully drawn and scripted on the back of his right shoulder.

Kyungsoo asked what’s up with the little wing and he replied with a cheesy answer. “It represents you, my guardian angel” Kyungsoo smacked him in response, cheeks a little red and walking off, leaving Jongin to catch up with him.

Tying up messages to balloons and letting them go was the fourth. Kyungsoo thought it was funny and childish. But he did it for him anyway. He gave a few pieces of parchment paper to Jongin asking him to write down whatever he wanted to say but not having the chance to.

He then brought him to an open field, allowing the balloons to fly up into the sky with messages attached to them. They watched as the little colourful balls get smaller and smaller, disappearing among the clouds.

Slow dance in the rain was the fifth. Kyungsoo thought that this was an interesting wish to have. Jongin explained that he got the idea from High School Musical when the main cast Troy and Gabriella danced in the rain while singing. He too had a small wish to dance with the person he love in the rain.

Kyungsoo had to wait for the perfect day in order to make this wish come true for him. He seemed a little worried having Jongin to dance in the rain considering that fact that his health isn’t really in tip top condition right now.

He told Jongin that he only had thirty minutes to do this before he’ll bring him back for a shower. Jongin laughed, nodding his head. “You’re like my mother” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes ignoring Jongin.

On a certain Wednesday, it finally rained.  Kyungsoo quickly brought Jongin up to the rooftop which was decorated with flowers, just like the exact same scene in the show. The song was played and Jongin went out in the rain, letting the music flow through his body as he moves his body naturally.

Halfway through the song, Jongin offered his hand to Kyungsoo. “May I have this dance?” Kyungsoo laughed and smacks Jongin playfully, but takes his hand anyway. Together, they danced with Jongin leading the way and Kyungsoo carelessly following, mumbling a ‘sorry’ whenever he stepped on him.


Have a harry potter marathon was the sixth. Kyungsoo had movie marathons before. Tons of them with his past humans. He managed to rent out all seven series of the film and played it in Jongin’s ward under the little blanket fort that they built.

Crash a wedding was the seventh and Kyungsoo declared that Jongin had officially lost it. Crashing a wedding wasn’t exactly what Kyungsoo’s good at. He’s been asked to bless countless of weddings and not to crash one.

He apologised to Jongin and told him that crashing a wedding wasn’t something he’s born for. “It’s okay Kyungsoo, I know that. I was just playing with you.”

Kyungsoo frowned, crossing his arms. “You idiot, you just wasted one good wish.”

“There are many more to come Kyungsoo, one wasted isn’t going to hurt.” Jongin lies back down onto his bed and took out the book that he’s been reading…or rather the book that Kyungsoo’s been reading.

“You’re going to spend no chemo day reading? Kim Jongin’s a changed man I see.” Kyungsoo scoots Jongin over to make space for himself on the bed. It was perfectly good day with the sun shining straight through the blinds, illuminating the room.

“I am, after spending about ten weeks with you, I am indeed a changed man.” Jongin chuckled and went back to reading. After a few minutes of silence, he nudges Kyungsoo.

“Hey, do you think God answers prayers?”

Kyungsoo sat up and pinches Jongin’s cheeks. “I’m an angel what do you think my answer is? And yes, God do answer prayers. Every little prayer, he takes it into consideration making sure that he leaves no one out and do what’s best for them. Although I’ve never really met him myself…why the sudden question?”

Jongin pondered and closes the book. “If I pray to him to extend my life here on Earth, do you think he’ll be alright with it?”

Kyungsoo was dumbfounded. He remembered asking when he first met him whether he was afraid of death but Jongin replied ‘On the contrary, I’m ready for it’’ But Kyungsoo knows that it’s impossible to have control over life and death. It’s written in the book and whoever makes changes to it…

“Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo snapped out of his thoughts. “O-oh uh yeah?”

Jongin smiled, shaking his head and placed his hand on his. “Sorry for asking such an insensitive question.”

Kyungsoo grabs his hand, soothing it with his thumb. “It’s okay.”

Put soap in a public fountain was the eighth. He managed to find a fountain in the middle of the park for Jongin. Even though it wasn’t something nice, at least it wouldn’t hurt anyone like crashing someone’s wedding.

He brought him out at midnight where the park was really quiet, only a few couples here and there.

“Here, take this.” Kyungsoo handed over a box full of scented soap to Jongin and opened another for himself. Jongin smiled at Kyungsoo and nudges him. “See, I knew you had a little devil in that angelic heart of yours.”

Kyungsoo laughed, bending down to splash some of the water at Jongin. “Take that back you idiot. I am Do Kyungsoo, angel of the high heavens, not a devil in disguise nor do I have a devil in here” Kyungsoo pointed to his heart.

Jongin rolled his eyes and dropped a bar of soap p in and waited.  A few bubbles were being produced but not quite as satisfying as Jongin thought it would be.

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin and smacks his head. “Stupid, I gave you a box. What do you think that was for?” Kyungsoo took and threw the whole box in, spreading it evenly around the fountain. Jongin watches and follow suit.

Within minutes, the fountain was filled with bubbles and Jongin clapped in amusement. Kyungsoo watches as Jongin laughs on his own, clearly happy and pleased with the results. It was the tenth week they’ve been together. Kyungsoo felt as if as he had known Jongin his whole entire lifetime…Jongin’s whole entire lifetime, of course.

“Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo smiles. “Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

When it came down to the ninth, Kyungsoo’s heart ached a little. It says: To have my hundredth and last dance recital. Kyungsoo knew about Jongin dancing. He knew that he had a talent for it and it was amazing.

To be able to complete ninety nine stages by the age of nineteen,  Jongin surely isn’t a mediocre. So he planned. Until the next no chemo day, Kyungsoo took the opportunity to fish out for different dance studios and even took a trip back up into the clouds asking everyone for a tiny favour.

Kyungsoo’s heart was racing for this little surprise event. Jongin was being wheeled into the room after his session was done. It was chemo free day two days from now and Kyungsoo had almost everything in place…just the lead isn’t really prepared yet.

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo laid his head on Jongin’s bed while he was resting. Jongin looked down tiredly at him, giving a questioning glance.  Kyungsoo shifted himself up.

 “You were a dancer right?” Jongin nodded his head.

“Do you think you can still dance?” Jongin kept quiet. Although he had stopped doing shows but dancing was in his blood. Of course he could. For the past few years, he’s been heading to the dance studio down at the basement of the hospital, trying out different moves, creating new choreographies.

All that said and done, it was a few years back after all. Kyungsoo notices uncertainty in Jongin’s eyes. “You don’t think you’re up for it do you?”

Jongin shakes his head. “That’s not it I’m just…not as good as before.”

Kyungsoo reaches out his hand, grabbing Jongin’s into his own. He felt his heart skipped a beat as he comes into contact with the latter’s hand. Yet his heart ached when he sees a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

He patted Jongin’s hand. “You can do this.”

On the day of chemo free day, Jongin was being brought somewhere. Being blindfolded and his hands were tied pretty tight, struggling was futile. He heard someone whispering and knew that it was Kyungsoo.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Just don’t hate me for this okay? I’ll be watching you.”

The blindfold was removed, followed by his hands being untied. When Jongin opened his eyes looked around, he realised that he was on stage in a theatrical hall. Not just any hall. It was the place where he had his first dance recital.

The red velvet curtains were being drawn and in front of Jongin was a huge crowd of people in white robes and wings. Angels. He was in a hall filled with angels. His eyes looked around, looking for that one particular angel that brought him here.

Kyungsoo was clapping for Jongin vigorously, cheering him on. The music started and Jongin took a few steps back, planning to run backstage and hide. He remembered what Kyungsoo told him a few days and whatever he had written on the list.

To have my hundredth and last dance recital