Cha: 004
[DISCONTINUED] That Corner Hides a Pair of Eyes
"Sunggyu~ah!" Called out a familliar voice . . .
"Sunggyu~ah!" She called out again. I opened my eyes . . Darkness
"Sunggyu~ah . . " the voice got quieter and sadder than it was before.
"Why didnt you help me?" She asked.
"I trusted you . . ." She said weakly.
The sound of her sobbing echoed in the darkness, making me deaf.
"What will Hoya do now? He's all alone because of you." She sobbed harder.
"And you said you'd protect him from sadness!" She yelled.
Her voice staraining my ears. It was loud, Like having a speaker play an annoying song and had the full volume on. Then was pressed tightly against your ears.
She yelled questions and statement at me loudly.
Her voice echoed, making the questions stick longer than it should.
I held my ears in the attempt of shielding some of the noise out, but it didnt work. It only made her go louder.
"Stop!!" I yelled.
She stoped, and let out a bitter laugh.
"Why should i? You were the reason why i'm dead. The reason why they grief. You should suffer kim Sunggyu. Thats what you deserve."
She let out a high-pitched scream that made my ears ache.
"S-sunny . . " that was all that i could say.
________________________________________________________
Dr. Kang visits Sunggyu everyday. He said that Sunggyu's getting better day by day, but when Sunggyu wakes up, i still need to call him.
"Why?" I asked "you visit him everyday anyway"
He smiled and closed the folder that was in his hands. "Besides the need for me to know if the medication's working on him, i need to know why this thing happened to him from himself and no-one else."
I looked back at the sleeping Sunggyu.
'What made him deserve such a cruel fate?' I asked myself.
Dr. Kang patted my back, i looked at him, and he smiled.
"You dont need to worry about him. Everything happens for a reason.
Even if . . . It sounds foolish."
Dr. Kang sounds like the father i wanted to have. He's always there in the darkest times, and in the most important parts of my life.
He always comforts me when i feel lost. He helps me gather what i've thrown away years ago.
My smile.
I loved my parents once.
Once, when i was a child.
Once, when i seem precious in their sight.
Then HE came along. My big brother.
I am not a smart child, i admit that. But is it wrong to atleast give me some attention? Is it wrong to be loved aswell? Is everything in this world money and brilliance. Cant there be warmth and acceptance aswell?
Are those things just an illusion?
My parents love my brother more than me.
He's smarter, better, more rational, more hardworking . . . He's everything that i'm not. And i am everything that he's not. Stupid, annoying, ignorant, lazy, pushover, reckless . . And many many more.
I'm always behind his shadows . . . Watching as everything fall in their place.
My father is an owner of a big and successfull company,while my mother's an honest pollitian. My brother . . He's going to be the next heir of the family buisness. Me? I dont plan on following my mom's footsteps.
I dont know what i'll be yet. That's why they call me a disappointment.
Even though my brother's going to be what i strive to be in just a blink of an eye, i dont hate him.
I care about him.
We care for each other. Right?
My parents are never home, they ignore me yet they get angry when i skip meals. I find it ironic and a waste of time.
They're all around the place.
Father . . Buisness trips
Mother . . Always away for the betterment of the country.
My brother? . . Studying outside the country.
They left me here in this house clagged in richess to be alone with obidient servants and countless money to spend. I tried to get their attention countless of times, but my brother's more important than me. So i gave up. I stopped trying to be their perfect son.
But i'm still greatfull, because i wouldnt have come to this world without them.
And i wont be able to help Sunggyu if it werent for them and their connections.
I use to wear a warm smile, a smile that Dr. Kang wants to bring back.
There used to be a time when i like to smile, but now, smiling is a nuisance to me. I became used to faking smiles to everyone. Someone told me that there will come a time when someone will be able to tell if i'm faking a smile, or if i'm smiling for real.
But i find it impossible, i've become so good at it that i even surprise myself for looking so geneiune.
"I promise i'll give you a call when he wakes up." I said " Which is?"
"Possibly 3 days from now." He supplied
I nodded and looked at sunggyu again.
His 42 degrees fever has gradually gone down for the past few days.
Now his temperature has gotten to a 38 now, which Dr. Kang says to be a good sign, but its still high.
"I'll go now." He said
He then patted my back, grabbed his bag and closed the door behind him.
I laughed to myself. 'I was right, 5 weeks do go by fast'
I trailled my stare down from sunggyu's face and to his hands.
Then i saw something. I saw his hand move.
"S-sunny . . " he muttered under the oxygen mask.
A tear escaped his eyes.
I know Dr.kang hadnt gone that far and so i yelled his name. The heart machine
Next to the bed started to beep alarmingly.
"Dr.kang!! Dr.kang!!" I yelled.
I went over Sunggyu, cupped his cheeks, and wiped off his continuesly flowing tears. I heared the door open behind me harshly. It was Dr. Kang, breathing hard, he had a worried look in his face.
"What's wrong?!" He asked panickly. Without even bothering to hear my answer, he came over and injected something in the tube that connects the dextrose to his wrist, but that didnt do anything. Sunggyu's heart rate is still fast.
"I'll go get my assistant outside, you try and calm him down." He said, and immidiately went out of the door. I turned my attention to sunggyu and started nudging his cheeks using my hands, calling out his name as soothing as possible.
"Sunggyu~ah, Sunggyu~ah. Calm down, everything's going to be fine." I said
His hand began to tremble and i grabbed it in hopes that he'll stop.
"Sunggyu~ah, Sunggyu~ah. Tell woohyun what's wrong." I said, trying to sound as calm as possible, because i'm freaking out right now!!
He didnt respond and cried harder. I caressed his hands and shushed him.
Dr. Kang came back with his assistant, quickly came over the machines and started turning on some knobs. He grabbed his chart and started turning the pages hurridly.
a long beep resounded in the room.
I looked at Dr. Kang with worry, but he still looked as focused as ever. Him and his assistant took out what appears to be a defibrillator.
Dr. Kang's assistant asked me to step aside and i did. I took some steps backward and watched as everything happend fast.
They pulled the sheets down and tore sunggyu's clothes off using a surgeon's scissors. They the defibrillator and placed the pads above his right chest and the other beneath his left chest.
"CLEAR!" Shouted Dr. Kang's assistant.
Dr. Kang took a step back to check on his pulse on the heart monitor.
Nothing.
"Do it again" Dr. Kang said, and his assistant followed.
"CLEAR!" He shouted again.
Nothing. Just a flat line and a long beep that echoed in my head.
They repeated the procedure over and over again, but still, there's nothing.
A flat line and a long beep.
Dr. Kang shook his head, signaling to stop. I starred at them wide-eyed while they pack the Defibrillator again. My mouth hung open, but no words came out.
'No!' I wanted to yell, but my throat felt dry.
"I'm sorry" Dr. Kang said.
"W-what?!" I finally managed to say something. "No! Dont! He needs to live!"
"I'm sorry . . ." He said.
Dr. Kang and his assitant went out of my room with heavy looks. They closed the door, leaving me alone with sunggyu. They didnt turned off the heart machine and so, the sound of that long beep resorounds in the room.
I find the sound irritating and depressing.
I walked towards the side of the bed and fell down on my knees.
I promised myself that i wouldnt lose anyone anymore. I wont be able to take it anymore if that happens. Sadly, it did. I let tears run down my cheeks while i blankly stare at him with a straight face.
He died in the end. Atleast it wasnt in the hands of hoya or his uncle. It was in mine . . .
"Its all my fault, i didnt do everything i can." I told myself.
"I-its all my f-fault . ." I repeated.
My classmates would be happy about it i guess, because he died in the end.
He got what they prayed for to happen. For him to suffer before he dies.
It happened so fast and i wasnt able to do anything.
I cried harder and grabbed his hands, clentching it hard.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why!! " i asked, this time shouting.
I layed my head on the bed's edge and let myself cry freely.
I wasnt able to do anything in the end.
Just like all those other times, i'm useless.
I clenched the sheets to relieve some of the heaviness that i feel in my chest, but it wont go away no matter how hard i grab it.
"Why?" I kept on repeating.
"Why . . Why . . Why . . Why . . "
"P-please be quiet . . . My h-hand h-hurts, a-and so i-is m-my h-head . ."
I heard someone say. A ghost perhaps? But i'm curious so I looked up and saw a familliar face.
Sunggyu . . With his eyes open
He's alive.
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