cut

they're ignoring me again

cut

did i do something wrong

cut

no one is talking to me again

cut

he's still hating on me.

i ended up having several more open cut on my wrist. i sighed as i put down the knife.

it all started when my friends start to ignore me. i don't know what's wrong but one day they all decided they don't want me as their friend again. i ended up following them everywhere although i get all kind of glare from them because i don't want to be alone.

but it didn't work. they talked to me sometime but it's such a rare occasion that i could cry out of happiness every time they talked to me. but they're still giving me those glare that's just full of hatery.

for about 3 month i went through all that until i decided i had enough. i start ignoring them too and only sit with them during those lesson where we need to be in group. i feel like crying every single time i have to go this .

but atleast i have him. he's in the same class with me and although we didn't talk much but he still notice me and smile at me.

i like him. at first i thought it was because we used to spend time together. but slowly it's obvious that i like him because i grew jealous whenever his bestfriend come to him and being clingy to me.

i tried to be with him as much as possible but i know he think im annoying so i started being distance with him too.

but one day we got out to the mall and some events was happening. they were giving away some free tshirt. i really need them cause i cant afford some more clothes after what i bought last week. so i grab onto a pants, at the same time with another boy.

"release the pants. i got it first" the boy said to me. "i could say i got it first too" i said and try to pull the pants. his friend come beside us and help him to get the pants. "just give them the pants. oh come on" he said to me and i feel anger in my body. his friends are helping me but what are you doing? just tell me to give up?

no i will not then. im not the type to give up. so i tried a few more time but it's 3 vs 1 because 2 of his friends come to help. "you know what, im going to give this to you because at least your friends help you." i said and release the pants before grabbing my bag and storm into the nearest toilet.

i looked back incase to see if he was chasing me. but he doesn't. i quickly storm into the toilet and lock the door. for the next 5 minutes i cry my eyes out and just let out everything that's in my chest. after awhile i calm down and open my bag to find my phone. but instead a pencil knife drop, i stared at the knife for a moments before [icking it up.

i remember someone telling me that cutting would wash away the sadness. putting the knife on my wrist before slowly applying pressure and sliding it. i feels pain. a good kind of pain. it distract me from being sad. i continued making a few more line because dropping the knife into the toilet bowl and stare at my wrist.

the cut starting to create some blood which form some string of bubble. the pain feels amazing. maybe this isn't so bad after all.

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first of all.

sorry but english isn't my first languages :(

second of all,

this is kinda like my personal experience but i modified it abit.

last of all,

thank you for reading guys :D

see you on the next update!

p.s : why do u even read this