"YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN LOVE WHEN YOU CAN'T FALL ASLEEP BECAUSE FINALLY REALITY IS BETTER THAN YOUR DREAMS."

-Dr.Seuss

 

It hurts me everytime I see him.I don't blame him for anything.I just don't know if I could say that it's his fault that he gave all his love for her and left nothing for his self.And now his having a self pity.Choi Siwon is my friend,but I want something more than that.I don't know if he's already noticing my feelings for him.I'm too afraid to tell him,not now that he just broke up.

 

"Tiffany,make it fast we're gonna be late!"My manager shouted,startling me as I'm having a daydream with him.

"Seems like you're thinking about Choi Siwon again."Jessica smiled at me as we entered the car.

"Sica,the guy just broke up with someone..and his my friend,but.."

"You wanted more than that." Yes..I wanted more than that,but it hurts everytime I think that it would never happen.

 

 

It's been a few weeks since I've seen Siwon.I hope he's okay now,I always wanted to be with him,to help him out but I'm afraid that he would notice my feelings for him.That couldn't happen,he might think that I'm happy because he already broke up with her and of course I'm not,seeing him hurt and go wasted because of a girl is just too much.(I'm not going to name the girl here,let's just say that she's not a celebrity)

 

I just decided to go in aa coffee shop and calm myself.Many thoughts are running out of my mind while I'm waiting for my coffee.I had tried my best to accept the fact that Siwon will never feel the same way.Finally my cofee came and was very close to taking a ip on it,when I saw him enter the coffee shop.I stared at him for a moment making sure that it was really him.I was shocked when he was walking towards me.

"Hey Tiffany,what are you doing here?Don't you have any schedule?"He greeted me with a warm smile,but as I looked into his eyes all I can see is sadness.

"Uhmm,no I'm free for today,how about you Siwon what are you doing here?"He sighed.

"Just wanted to relax and.."He stopped and sighed again.He just looked at me and I looked away because it's just too frightening to look at him.

"A-are you alright..I mean.."I asked him and I can't get the words out of my mouth.

"Well..I'm not to be honest.I really love her Tiffany and I still do,but I'm starting to realize that I'm making a fool out of myself.I wanted to move on and right now,I'm slowly learning.I just don't know why she left like that."He shook his head before he continued.

"You shouldn't be hearing this Tiffany..I mean,you're such a good friend and I'm thankful for that."I just smiled at him.Yeah maybe I should move on too.

We had some talk and I can say that he's really a great company.That girl is really stupid to let him go.But throughout our conversation he was just smiling and laughing and it makes me happy to see him like this.

"Uhmm Siwon,I really enjoyed being with you today,but I have to go now."

"Oh yeah,I enjoyed being with you too."He replied with a smile and I can't stop blushing at his words.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"No it's okay Siwon,I could go home alone,Thank you bye."

"Thank you Tiffany,goodbye."

 

I was greeted with a loud noises in our dorm,and I just went straight to my room not bothering to greet them.I don't know what's wrong with me,but I'm so depressed right now.I laid myself on the bed enjoying the comfort of it.

Choi Siwon.I really enjoyed laughing with you today,but something inside me is really hurting.I know you're trying your best to just move on and right now I just don't know what to do.But I want you to know that I'm always here for you.I sighed and just dozed of to sleep.

 

Siwon and I has been hanging out together lately.I don't want him to think that I'm taking advantage of his broken heart but he insisted.And everytime we are together I could tell that his happy.I don't know why he keeps on hanging out with me but it's really bothering me.

 

Choi Siwon's POV

I've been hanging out with Tiffany lately and it's not a bad idea.I really want to spend time with her because she's making me feel comfortable.I wasn't even thinking of my ex girlfriend the whole time I'm with her.I know we're not together but I just let this question out.

"Tiffany..did you ever think that I'm using you just to move on?"I asked her and she stopped on her tracks.

"Why are you asking that,we're not even together I'm just being a friend here."She just smiled at me.

"Thank you."

 

End of POV

 

The whole day with Siwon is over and I'm slowly learning to accept the fact that we are nothing more than friends.But here I am again lying on my bed and just thinking of him.Great.I'm not yet done fantasizing about him when I got a message in my phone.

'Thank you for today Tiffany,you're great :)'

-Siwon

'You're welcome :)'

-Tiffany

It was just a short reply,but as I saw his message instead of feeling giddy,I felt sad and afraid.Afraid to hurt because I keep on pushing myself into him.Maybe it's better if I will start to ignore him and keep distance before my feelings will get any worse.

 

My decision to ignore him and to keep distance is on track.Whenever he would ask me something or send me a text I will just reply shortly,and whenever he ask me to go and hang out with him my excuse is always 'I'm busy'And that's the truth busy on forgetting my feelings for you.I didn't know that he was behind me when I was walking inside our company's building.He grabbed my arms and I was facing him.

"Hey Tiffany,is there's something wrong?"He asked me while trying to catch his breath.

"No Siwon,it's just that I'm really busy these past few days."He just nodded.

"Uhmm can we meet  later tonight?"He asked me hoping that I would say yes.And before I could answer he already spoke.

"Please.."He begged me."I just wanted to talk to you I don't know the reason why you started ignoring me,but if I've done or said something wrong you should tell me,okay?Tell me later tonight okay?"After I heard those I just nodded at him.Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea.Maybe if he'll know my feelings for him and tell him that he doesn't have to worry because I'm trying to forget my feelings for him would be a good idea.Atleat he knows that I'm trying and atleast he knows the truth and it wouldn't bother anymore and then he will realize that it's a good thing that I'm ignoring him.

 

 

"Hey Tiffany you didn't tell me that you are going out tonight,is it a date?with whom?"Taeyeon asked with a smile.

"No Taeyeon it's not a date,don't worry I'll be back early.And it's with Siwon."As soon as they heard the name,'Siwon'they all quickly turned their heads to me.

"I'm going now bye."I went out of our dorm and I wasn't sure where should I go.He didn't tell me where and I didn't asked him.I almost cursed when I saw Siwon infront of me.He was wearing a smile on his face,I don't know if it's a happy or a sad smile.

"Where are we going?"I asked him.

"Where do you want to go?"

"We'll just have some talk right?"He looked at me for a minute before he dragged me all the way up to the rooftop.

"Are you mad at me Tiffany?Did I say something wrong?I don't know why you started ignoring me all I know was were having a good time together."

"No we're not!."I raised my voice at him and he was shocked.

"No we're not."I repeated this time more calm and soft.

"Why?"

This is it Tiffany,you should now tell him.

"Because..because I'm hurt Siwon.."He has curiousity in his eyes but decided to just listen.

"I'm hurt..All this time I've hiding my feelings for you..Yes you're hearing it right,I like you.And I was so hurt when I saw you suffering when you were broken.But as soon as we started hanging out I felt more afraid.I keep on pushing myself into you and I realize that I'm just making a fool out of myself.I don't know why you wanted to spend time with me.And when I was aware of what's happening I just started to ignore you because I'm afraid that you'll know that I have feelings for you knowing that you don't feel the same."I stopped for a moment as I felt my tears running down my cheeks.

"Yes Siwon I like you,I'm sorry."There was  a moment of silence before he finally spoke.

"You like me?..What's wrong with that?Why do you have to ignore me?Tiffany can't you see the truth?Don't you know the reason why I want to hang out with you?"I looked at him completely shocked.

"The day that I talked to you at the coffee shop was the day that I realize that being with you is not a bad idea,in fact I like it.And then when we occasionally started hanging out..I realize...I realize that falling in love with you is not a bad idea."I was shocked at his confession.I don't know what to say.We were both quiet.

"What are you trying to say Siwon?"

"You like me right?"He asked me.

"Yes I do,but you don't have to force yourself in.."He cut me off when he started talking.

"Tiffany,you like me and I love you...Now tell me what's wrong.

The silence is taking over again.But then he was moving closer to me and then I notice that our face are so close that I can hear his breath.And then in that moment he suddenly brushed his lips into mine.Realization hits me when he wrapped his arms around my waist and with that I kiss him back.

"I love you Tiffany."

"I love you too."

 

Okay so I'm over daydreaming with him because now this is the reality,it's finally happening to me.Finally reality is better than my dreams.

 

 

A/n:I'm sorry for some mistakes.I'm not yet good so please understand me.Please leave me a comment :)