It’s been a long day after I told my parents about halmeoni’s condition in America. And just like that, my parents have decided to go to America with me in two days. So I only have two remaining days to clear everything up here in Korea, then I’m back in America. Tomorrow, I’ll give my resignation letter to the school, and will bid farewell to my beloved students. It’s been a year since I started teaching in SMA and I can tell that I enjoyed staying in this school even for a year only.

            The next day, I gave my resignation letter to the director, and all the school people were shocked. Who wouldn’t? The most idolized teacher will be leaving after a year of teaching. And I also dealt with the Taemin Kittens. It’s really hard for them to accept that their fan club is gone now.

            “Sir! Why do you have to leave so early? It’s only a year when you entered SMA.” Alyssa, my fan club president, asked while tears are welling on her eyes. “It’s because of my grandmother. She’s sick, and as their one and only grandson, I need to take good care of her. And besides, my parents will also come with me in America. Please Alyssa, as my fan club’s president, you need to be strong for your members. So don’t cry okay? Big girls don’t cry my little kitten.” I explained to her while patting her head like a little child. She just nodded and wiped her tears away as she smiled beautifully. She reminded me of her sister Suzy, the girl I admired. “Arasso! I’ll be strong from now on sir.” Alyssa said while clinging her arms on my left arm. Well, she really is a resemblance of her sister. Now my school matter is done.

            After I went to the school, I contact Jongin. “Jongin, can we meet tonight? I just wanted to have a company tonight.” I asked over the phone. “Sure thing. The usual place?” he asked over the line. “Sure. After school then.” I said then hang up. Oh great! This will be a really hard and awkward moment for me.

            “So what’s the matter, that you invited me to drink today?” Jongin asked me. “Actually, I wanted to say something. That’s why I invited you for a drink.” I said while playing the meat in my plate with my chopsticks. There’s only silence, and when I look at Jongin, he’s staring at me and expecting to continue. I sighed heavily then continued, “Jongin, I’ll be leaving Korea two days after this. My grandmother is sick and dying, and so is my grandfather. It’s a complicated story to say. And our family will be staying in America for good this time, since my parents were petitioned to America, even before I was born. So yeah. I’ll be leaving.” I explained while looking into his eyes. “Have you told her about this matter?” he asked me seriously. “No. I don’t know how to tell her everything. I literally broke my promise to her. But this is a very important matter for our family.” I said while looking at my hands. “What do you think will be her reaction over this? Do you think she can accept it that easily?” he asked me again. “I know this will be hard for her, for me. But I need to take full responsibility on my family. And you know what Jongin? I now admit it. I’m in love with Soojung, but I know that we can’t be together, not because she has a boyfriend, but because I can’t be the right man for her. Since the time I became her friend, I promised myself that I will be by her side forever, but I can’t keep that promise to her and to myself. Jongin, I really right? I can’t even contain my feelings over this. I don’t know how to handle everything. I’m afraid of everything. Tss.. Such a crybaby, right?” I chuckled bitterly, while tears are rolling down my face. “You’re wrong Taemin. You’re more than what you think you are. You’re a strong man just like how Soojung described you to me. At first I thought what is strong in a person who is always crying? I thought it’s really silly for Soojung to describe you as strong. But when I met you the first time at Soojung’s house, while you caught us kissing, I sensed the strength she’s telling me. I saw the frustration and disappointment in your eyes even though you’re smiling in front of us. I know that you’re only controlling yourself at that time. And I also remember the time when Soojung and I broke up. You acted so strong at that time, although I know that you’re crying every night because of us. You see Taemin? You’re strong. You can always give us good appearance despite your difficulties. And I admire you because of that.” Jongin said. I felt fluttered by his encouraging words. He’s right. After all this time, I am strong in everything. “But there is one thing that I realized because of our friendship. That’s… I’m sorry Taemin, but I realized that I can’t let Soojung go. I mean, I love her more than anything on this world. And I’m sorry to say this, but I can’t give her even to my best friend.” Just like that I felt my lips are curving into a simple but sincere smile. And my tears stopped just like that. “Just promise me something Jongin. Please take care of Soojung, no matter what happens. Don’t leave her. Be right beside her forever and always.” I asked him sincerely. “I always am. I promise.” He said with assurance.

            Okay. That was a relief. I’m glad that Jongin understood me. After a heart to heart talk with Jongin, we went home a bit sober. I’m really sleepy right now, and all I wanted to do is to sleep. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. Because tomorrow, I’m going to face the biggest challenge in my life. I’m going to say goodbye to Soojung for the second and probably the last time.

            The next day, I got up a bit late for a morning. It’s already 2 pm, and my head really hurts a lot. I mean, I’m good in alcohol tolerance, but right now, I don’t know why I felt dizzy. Yeah, I remember. I’m going to say goodbye to my best friend/first love for the second time. And right now, it’s really painful for me.

            And just as I was expecting, I can hear her angelic voice echoing inside the house. Ah, what an imagination! I was imagining that Soojung is just downstairs and talking with my mom. WHAT??? She’s downstairs? Oh my goodness!! This is getting worse by time. In only a second, I know she’ll appear in front of my door. And..

“Taemin!! Hey, auntie told me that you went home last night sober. Aiisshh!! I told you to never drink a lot of alcohol, especially when it is a hard drink. Does your head hurt? And you’re late for the school. I thought you don’t want late people?” she sermon me like a mother. I just look at her and try to smile, but my stupid mouth doesn’t even want to move even a millimeter. I got an idea.

            I get my guitar and sing a song.

Lately you have been asking me,

If all my words are true.

Don’t you know I’ll do anything for you?

Sometimes I haven’t been good to you,

Sometimes I make you cry,

And I’m sorry about everything.

But I promise you though,

I promise you this.

When the blue night is over my face,

Under the side of the world and space,

When I’m all alone with the stars above,

You are the one I love.

…..

            I looked at her, and she’s just watching me with awe. “Minnie! You didn’t tell me you can sing and play the guitar.” She exclaimed. I just smiled at her and pat her head. “Yeah. I’ve been studying it lately.” I answered silently. “Well, that’s wonderful! I know you’re really talented.” Soojung said while patting my back. “So. Can you play another song for me?” She asked.”Of course.” I answered and started strumming the guitar again. And we’ve been doing that for more than an hour, and at last! Soojung called for a stop. Now I don’t know how I’m going to tell her about my departure.

            I’ve been silent for a few minutes, when Soojung suddenly said she needs to go home now. I need to tell her now. Before she left the room, I grabbed her wrist. “Minnie? What’s wrong?” she asked curiously. “I need to tell you something Soojung.”I said, tears are starting to blur my eyes. “You can tell me that tomorrow. It’s getting late now.” She said, but didn’t try to get away from my grip. “I can’t. I can’t tell you tomorrow, or the other day, or next week, or never.” I said. Great! Now I’m crying. Soojung stood frozen on her spot, while looking at me with weariness. “What do you mean?” she asked after a few seconds. “Halmeonni is dying, and she wants to see us before she dies. Harabeoji also needs a special care from his family. I don’t know when it will happen, I hope it will last longer for harabeoji to live. But if it happened, we won’t be able to go back here in Korea. We need to manage my grandparents business in America. And, I can’t be able to see you again.” I explained while crying. But Soojung remained calm, and it totally breaks my heart. “So you’re leaving me again? Fine! That’s what you want anyway right? Just go, I don’t care anymore.”she said and started to head out of the room. The next thing I did was unexpected.

            I quickly grabbed Soojung’s shoulder and spun her around to face me. And without notice, I kissed her on her lips. My lips touching her lips is like a dream come true for me. Her lips is very tender and sweet. And all of my feelings I kept for so many years has drifted away with her soft lips. It’s heaven. And one thing I noticed, Soojung is responding after a few second of shock. She’s really responding on my kiss. Does it mean that she loves me too? When I felt her response, I slightly deepen the kiss and held her closer to me. She braced her arms around my neck and also deepens the kiss. I can’t believe this is happening. The girl I love since I don’t know when is kissing me back, on the night before my departure. It’s like a TV series where a hero needs to go and his heroine confessed her love for him too. It’s a dream come true. If only I can spend more time with her. If only I can steal the time and never let it run again, I would do that for my lovely Soojung.

After like a minute of our heavenly kiss, I looked at her with eyes full of bliss, love, and sadness, all in one. I cupped her face, and chuckles bitterly. My tears are back, and I can’t see her anymore. “Soojung. I’m sorry for doing this again to you. I never thought of leaving you again. I thought, I will stay by your side forever, but it won’t happen now. You don’t know how guilty I am to break my promise for you. I’m so sorry Soojung.” I cried on her. Soojung suddenly cups my face and wiped away my tears. “Taemin. I understand that. I can forgive you, but you can’t leave the fact that you broke your promise to me. Remember the consequence I told you once you break your promise?” she asked with a smiling face. The never ending strength of Soojung gives me the reason to love her more. “I know. And I hope I you can literally do that. But you can’t.” I smiled bitterly.

             She chuckled before punching my face lightly. "Hey cry baby! I will miss you again. Will you promise to call and write when you set your foot on America?" Soojung asked. "Of course. I will update you everyday. I promise that Soojung." I answered and wiped the remaining tears in my cheeks away. Now everything is fine. Tomorrow, I will leave Korea for the second and I guess the last time. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry again.

            "Hey, is the punishment stll available? I think I would love that punishment from you." I joked bitterly. Krystal laughed and smacked my head. "Pabo! Do you think I wil really do that to you? Your grandparents need you, than that street light. Just go to America and tie yourself up with your grandparents." Krystal said while still laughing. I just looked at her, and deep inside, my weariness is starting to fade away. Because, I know that Soojung will not be sad when I leave.