The wind picked up, making Cody cling to himself even tighter.  It blew the swing next to Cody forcing the cell into the air and crashing. It didn’t break, though Cody wished it had. That text lay waiting for him. His eyes would see it again and his heart would break all over again.

“It isn’t a day to be out,” said a handsome tall dark haired guy.

Cody didn’t answer. He sat face down, sobbing letting the wind freeze him.  The guy sat his bike aside and pulled off his sweater, placing it on Cody gently. The strange feeling of warmth was so sudden, Cody choked on his tears, while crying and took a moment to meet green eyes looking sympathetically back at him. The guy stood shivering, as the air grew even colder.  Cody pulled the sweater off, attempting to give it back but the guy immediately placed it back, putting his arms through the holes, as if Cody was a kid unable to dress himself.

Cody felt like a helpless kid in that moment. He couldn’t even stand from the swing. He felt weighted and immovable. Through streaming tears he tried to say something in between “take your sweater” and “thank  you.”

“Keep it,” the handsome guy replied before riding off quickly to get out of the cold. Green eyes flashed into Cody’s dark brown ones before the stranger rode off: haunting green eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                          

Dongwoon took the slow elevator up to his room, hiding his face with dark sunglasses a hood. He hoped the hood was big enough to shield his tears. He made every attempt to fight them, but now alone he couldn’t. He burst into his room just as he burst into tears, dropping the bag and to his knees to have the real cry he longed for. How did it get to this point? When you love someone isn’t it supposed to be easy? All the fights they had had were all so meaningless. But they were enough to make Dongwoon want to quit. He never thought he would. Cody seemed to be his other half, his perfect mate. He now felt an emptiness he didn’t plan for. What do you do when you can’t feel your own heart beating?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cody couldn’t handle the cold anymore, even with the stranger’s sweater. He pulled himself up off the swings and began fighting the wind as he made his way home. The way wasn’t far, but the couple blocks to his place took what felt eons to cross. The sting of the air made his cheeks red and the tears begin to freeze. He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, unable to find them. Did he leave them at the park? He searched in the bitter cold, more anxious to get inside as the keys become more apparently gone. A burst of wind pushed him, staggering him of his feet. That’s when he realized the keys were inside. Dongwoon said he’d stay over this week, for his birthday. He hadn’t bothered to take the spare key.  He had left for a run, he expected Dongwoon to be there, not leaving him. Cody pounded on the door, screaming.  Dongwoon wouldn’t have just left. He’d stay, they’d talk, they’d make up. His birthday was tomorrow. He wouldn’t leave him on his birthday. Even if things were hard now, he’d wouldn’t leave Cody out in the cold.

Buzzz, knock, bang, shout, Cody was about ready to break down the door. How could he just leave? A stupid text was all he got. Wasn’t he worth more than that? More tears and pain were felt, as Cody stood clawing at the door.

“Locked out?” Asked the same dark haired guy from the park.

Cody was in too much of a state to answer. Of course I’m locked out! Do you think I’m standing here in the cold crying for fun! Cody had thought of shouting. He didn’t. He just stood with his face towards the door sobbing.

Without asking the guy grabbed Cody’s arm and pulled him away from the door, practically dragging him down the street.

“Where?” Was all Cody managed to say through shocked filled tears?

“I live a few houses down. You can stay until someone comes to let you in.”

No one’s letting me in, Cody thought, everyone pushes me out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dongwoon clung to the pillow on the hotel bed as the wind howled outside. He reached in pocket to pull out his ipod, needing to drown the wind. Every song had meaning. Every song reminded him of Cody. He threw the device aside annoyed at the fact that things would be like this for a while. Where ever he went, whatever he watched, listened to, even ate would remind him of now ex lover. Could he live that life, he wondered, where Cody was a memory instead of something real. He rolled over still clutching the pillow thinking how cruel he was being. A short text a day before his birthday-- how cold, he thought. He could have met him, talked it over.  But he chose to leave abruptly, not facing Cody in any respect. He couldn’t. When Cody cried his heart broke. So why were his tears not enough to drive him back?

He thought of the mini little arguments. The way Cody would stomp out off the room, over what seemed like nothing. His mind went back to the couple days where they just didn’t talk. It’s never the big things that drive couples apart. It’s a million little things. The habits that you thought you could tolerate, now grating your nerves; the fading enthusiasm in their voice when they talk to you; the expectation you remain the same, when you’re so clearly changing. Tiny little things that mount up until one day you find yourself happier to be alone. But Dongwoon didn’t feel happy. He felt as if he had lost himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Juice, water…vodka?” The green eyed beauty offered, smiling a half smile as he said Vodka.

Cody noticed. The guy stood tall, much taller than Cody, perhaps even taller than Dongwoon. His complexion was flawless, and slightly tanned, though in the sun he may have looked, less darkened. Pretty lashes set his green eyes, which seemed to sparkle, gem like. His hair was a deep black, asymmetrically cut. Funny how when you’re in love, you notice nothing else around you, if Cody had been single he’d have gazed at this beauty a lot more often. He lived only four houses down and yet Cody had never known. Cody’s tear filled eyes traced over him, wondering why he was being so nice. At that moment he didn’t have much faith in people. Yet this stranger seemed kind, giving Cody his sweater, letting him stay inside his place. Perhaps good people still remained.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The most devastating thing is when you choose your own unhappiness. It’s not so bad when someone brings it upon you. You can blame them. You can play the victim. But when you’re at the center of your own misery, it’s a lot harder to bear.  Most people don’t. They’ll still try to find a something or someone to take the fall, unwilling to accept the fact that they played a role in it all. But Dongwoon was fully aware he had put himself here. He chose to leave. He made every decision that day and he wasn’t about to blame anyone else, though he wished he could.

He made the mistake of shutting his eyes, seeing more memories, played out in a movie like fashion. The first time his eyes  met Cody’s; the first nonstop laugh they shared; the first kiss, the first time; and then the movie stopped. Dongwoon didn’t want it to play the first fight, the first time Cody stormed out, the first drunken dispute, the first shameless flirtation just to make Cody jealous or the first thought of…I can’t do this anymore.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cody chose water and stared around at the heavily decorated home. The place had a smell that, although pleasant, was strong. Perhaps it was the many flowers. Dozens of pictures hung on the wall, mostly of foreign locations. Places Cody had never been and would probably never see. Places he had hoped to see with Dongwoon: New Delhi, Paris, Greece, New York, Stolkholm, Belfast, the list went on and many of the photos had his handsome stranger smiling with what appeared to be relatives.  Items from these travels were placed throughout the home: masks, ornaments, paintings and status. It was quite a collection.

That awkward moment when you find yourself in a strange surrounding with a stranger and no willingness to talk cropped up. As much as Cody would have loved to converse with his helpful stranger, he wasn’t in the mood and he dreaded the mother of all annoying questions, “are you ok?”

He could tell the guy was just dying to ask. Don’t ask! Cody shouted in his mind. Don’t you dare ask because I won’t answer.

“I’m Alex by the way, Cody.”

Cody’s eyes widened. He didn’t ask the dreaded question and he knew Cody’s name. How odd. They had never met, spoken, looked at each other…how did he know?

Cody looked at the guy who was now sitting on the same couch from his from the side of his eyes.

“Alex?” Cody said,

Alex smiled and looked more directly at Cody with that same sympathetic look as before.

“How did”--?

“I know your name?” He interruped

Cody nodded.

“My grandma lives close to you, and she knows everyone in the neighborhood. She may have mentioned you once or twice…I may have asked.” Alex said, blushing at the part.

“You live with your grandma?”

“Visiting. I leave the day after tomorrow.”

Of course Cody thought, someone nice and he was leaving, typical.

 “Where are you visiting from?”

“Europe. I come here every spring.” He smiled.

Every spring? And I’ve never noticed him, Cody thought.

Spring had ended, and yet it felt like winter outside and in Cody’s heart. The coldness wrapped around him sending a chill up his spine. Alex took the cue and grabbed a woven blanket to comfort Cody.

“Is there someone you can call?” Alex asked.

It took a moment for Cody to answer, still stunned at how nice Alex was being.

“No,” he said.

 He could have called Dongwoon or even his mother for a key but he didn’t feel up to talking. He couldn’t face anyone.

“Well, you can stay here for the night. My grandma is having a girl’s night out,” he half chuckled.

Grateful, Cody pulled the blankets and his sweater close to his body, wishing to be engulfed by whatever warmth Alex was willing to offer. He snuggled on the couch looking the pieces, trying to get an inside glimpse into the mysterious guy’s life.

Alex pulled the curtains back to peek outside, making a disappointed sound as he saw the weather had not changed.

“It’s so gloomy.” He complained, though Alex did like storms and rain. The weather was bleaker than a usual stormy day. It had overcast of misery that virtually everyone could feel, especially Cody.