“Where did you say, this Yuri should be living?” In swift, routined motions Luhan flips each chair around and places them on blank polished coffee tables, making it easier for his boyfriend to sweep through the aisles and underneath the tables “Grasse, the capitol of perfume.” He answers.

“And your job is it to find her?” Luhan stands beside the window front and let the shutter roll down, separating them from the outside. His boyfriend had installed special shutters for his coffee shop, those you could lock from inside so you won’t have to leave the store. People passing by outside wouldn’t pay attention anyway, but unlike Taeyeon the only refugee Luhan has, was the intimacy the safe interior of his boyfriend’s coffee shop has to offer. He turned around to face him.

He stands behind the counter and prepares two cups of coffee along with a small midnight snack. They wouldn’t retreat to his officetel tonight and Luhan wouldn’t seek the comforting warmth of his body tonight. All they would do is sitting at a table, sipping on coffee and talking until his employees would arrive for the morning shift. Luhan is delighted at that thought, yet he feels sorry for Taeyeon, who would probably still lie awake next to a snoring, drooling body she felt anything but attracted to.

They sit down on a table and Luhan begins to confide his boyfriend in the recollection Taeyeon had related to him the other day. After all, it is tremendously interesting to hear about people sharing a similar fate.  

After a sequence of afternoons spent together in the abandoned part of a library they had decided to extend their meetings. Taeyeon would always reach out for Yuri’s hand when they inspected a part of Seoul they hadn’t been to before. Taeyeon had moved around Seoul quite a lot, her family always buying new real estates in order to gain profit, and therefore she knew quite some decent places. It turned out Yuri preferred Yeouido the most from all places Taeyeon showed her. And so they had made a point of spending weekend afternoons there, sitting on benches, beholding couples, bicyclists, and families with their toddling kids, the Han River. And Yuri would always tell her about poetry, how much she loved it and how much she wanted to travel to the places the poets had devoted their work to. Naturally, at that point in time, Taeyeon had no idea that Yuri would eventually lift off to another life without even telling her about it.

“They went to Incheon together because Yuri told her she had to visit her aunt in China. So they went, Taeyeon carrying her suitcase. Even as she carried it, she told me, she noticed it was way heavier than for just a week in China. A little suspicion grew on her, but she ignored it. It was only after their last meal in the food lounge that Taeyeon realized she would never see her again.

She had excused herself and told her she would go to the restroom but left her notebook at the table…”

“Notebook?”

“Yeah, she had this notebook where she would always write down her favorite poems. A collection sort of.  Anyhow Taeyeon kept sitting waiting and she waited and waited and then she checked her clock and noticed that the plane Yuri was supposed to be on had already taken off.  So Taeyeon went down stairs again, a bit confused and then she saw a flash of what looked like the ponytail Yuri usually wore in the queue for international flights. The suspicion she had felt before came back but she went to the bus terminal and took the next bus home anyway. And on the bus she flipped through her notebook and noticed that Yuri had marked a certain poem red Taeyeon hadn’t seen marked before.”

“Which poem was it?”

“’Don’t forget’ by Charles Bukowski. The lines marked, she showed me those, were,

‘there is always something or somebody / waiting for you/as you put on your shoes / or as you sleep / or as you empty a garbage can / or pet your cat / or brush your teeth/or celebrate a holiday / there is always somebody or something / waiting for you.’ , something like that. “

“That’s heartbreaking.” His boyfriend comments and raises his cup to his lips. “And she never returned to Seoul?” Luhan shakes his head.

No, Taeyeon kept waiting the week away and stood at the arrival gate when Yuri was supposed to come back. But Yuri wasn’t among the tired looking faces rushing out of Gate 09. And that was when her other life began.

With no friend at her side, and a gaping wound of loneliness inside she was easy prey for her marriage-centered mother who had already sorted out a good match at that time. She was quickly introduced and just as quickly her relationship status on facebook changed from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’. Her temper was heated because she expected some sort of reaction from Yuri but her account got deleted even before she could think of changing the settings. Needless to say, her heart had been broken but she kept this vivid image of her inside, reminding her that somewhere on this earth she is waiting for her.

“And now, her wedding is coming up in a few weeks and I have to find Yuri, because Taeyeon wants to meet her during her honeymoon in France.” Luhan swipes crumbles from the table as though he would simultaneously swipe away the struggles of this impossible task.

“Doesn’t Taeyeon feel betrayed after all this time?” His boyfriend suddenly asks from the other side of the table. It’s funny how this thought has never occurred to Luhan before although it’s more than natural to feel this way but somehow Taeyeon has left no impression of a jaded and lonely lover. The boundaries of her freedom are steadily growing tight until she will be fully absorbed in a life she had never chosen to live but still there is this blaze of hope still glimmering inside her, with each written line of poetry fuelling it. And Luhan feels equally drawn to it.

In this rare moment of reflection Luhan realizes how strong the bond of love can tie people together, just like a spider web never letting its producer fall. His hands run across the table to take hold of those of his boyfriend. His skin still feels rough from the day spend preparing one cup of coffee after the other but he squeezes them both, feeling his warmth as the questions slips between them. Luhan has no answer for him.

Would someone feel betrayed? Or just feel grateful for the shared time and intimacy?  

After all, it’s selfish to feel betrayed, Luhan figures in silence. People you adore can vanish from your life in any second and it’s your job to be prepared. Luhan cups his head in his right hand since it has grown a little too heavy and he felt a little too tired to carry. His gaze instantly wanders to those of his lover, beholding his face that seems to beam out of love again.

“Start calling the Korean embassy in France tomorrow. I’m sure, they’ll help you out.” He encounters with a smile, sensing Luhan’s exhaustion. “Ask for a Yuri Kwon and say you have a special invitation for her.”

“A wedding invitation, you mean?”

“Don’t be too cruel.”

“It’s her who left Taeyeon. Is there a thing crueler than leaving someone you love for no reason?”

Xiumin gives his head a shake and tightens the grip around Luhan’s hand as though he’s in fear for the same thing. After all, the bond of love can be as thin as a spider’s web.