Taeyeon finds herself wandering along the brilliantly white shimmering shoreline again, the warm, fine-grained sand giving away under her feet with every step. This is the beach she has seen in her last dream and yet something is remarkably different. The ocean is lying still in front of her, its massive surface suggesting the majestic depth of the Sea and only the smallest waves dare to roll over the sand, wetting her feet occasionally. On her right she feels the presence of a vast mountain range, which occasionally appears in the corner of her eye, revealing its sharp edged cliffs and slopes overgrown with dry bushes and bare tree branches. Past days must have been hot but Taeyeon feels the sudden evening coolness sweeping over her from the sea as she keeps walking. Gradually the sun is drawing closer to the horizon line, still clinging above it as if being afraid to forever get lost in the seemingly endless depth of the ocean, creating a miraculously beautiful sunset. Taeyeon has no idea why she keeps setting one foot after the other but she is intuitively following the shoreline as though led by a certain premonition that somewhere, something is awaiting her.

Suddenly the sun seems to lose its grip, sending out sunrays in all spectrums of red across the sky like silent cries for help. In a few moments everything is soaked in red as if some kind of fruit juice has splashed on everything Taeyeon could lay her eyes on.

In the midst of this overwhelming sunset she suddenly notices footprints in the sand before her, tracing the way up to the alleged shoreline’s end. A thrilling sensation is jolting through her limbs as she realizes that she isn’t the only human being on this seemingly abandoned beach. Someone is here with her. Yet she keeps going, her eyes fixed on the footprints.

After a while the footprints abruptly stop at a blue towel which is lying in the sand, fixated with a small leather bag. Its possessor is nowhere in sight but Taeyeon instantly recognizes these items.

“Yuri!”

It is her blue towel, she had often seen it hanging from a clothing rack in her dormitory room, and it is her leather bag. The one she always carried around, the one that contained all her most essential items along with the wallet Taeyeon had given her, the photo taken on the day both went to Gwanghwamun Palace showing Yuri and Taeyeon smiling happily into the camera and, of course, her notebook. Taeyeon quickly reaches down for the leather bag, opens it, but she only finds her notebook. She flips through the pages but they were empty, obviously unused. Not a single letter was written down on any of the pages yet she spots a narrowly scribbled writing at the end of the last page. Taeyeon tilted the notebook against the red sunset light and tries to decipher it.

“Find me”

The red light rapidly intensifies until everything is fading out into sheer red. Taeyeon’s eyes almost feel like filled with blood. Suddenly she can perceive nothing but red. On the spur of the moment she is terrified of what’s to come; terror aching in her limbs. Her body is beginning to drift away from the beach, leaving the scenic dream landscape behind. Red turns to black and Taeyeon wakes up to the safe white of her bedroom.

Her heart is pounding loudly against her chest. Taeyeon is alone and the entire apartment is silent with the absence of human beings. Only the notebook lies opened on top of her little bedside cabinet. She props herself on an elbow and reaches out for it. She checks the last page just to find a few words written in Yuri’s distinctive handwriting.

“August-13, with Taeyeon at Gwanghawmun Palace”

The note instantly takes her back to this hot summer day three years ago where Taeyeon had finally convinced Yuri to visit Gwanghwamun Palace with her. The summer academy courses would come to an end the following month and Taeyeon figured before University life would occupy them completely they had to at least go and visit one Palace Seoul had to offer.

After the classes had ended they both took the subway line that was taking them straight across the Han River, passing the city center and going further north until they finally reached Gwanghwamun station. The sun had already passed the zenith when they finally stepped out of the air-conditioned subway station and right into the damp heat of a late summer afternoon. Tall high-rise buildings in their back they passed the Sejong monument, asked a few tourists to take a picture of them holding up the peace sign and smiling brightly.

“This is a memory I’ll have forever.” Taeyeon remembers herself saying while flipping through the pictures on her camera. Yuri was just walking quietly by her side, taking in the famous panorama view: the tall main entrance gate to the palace, the grey palace wall encircling the whole palace terrain and with the protective mountain range as a backdrop; a view to large to be captured by a single camera lens. Back then Taeyeon had no idea how often she would repeat these words to herself, regretting that she hadn’t directed them to Yuri the moment she said it. Perhaps she had grasped the value behind her words, but more likely she had just trotted on, distracted by the tedious heat.

Eventually they arrived in front of the gates, passed the gate guards in their colorful armor and marched straight across the spacious front yard to the ticket offices. Taeyeon paid for the tickets without wanting anything in return. Spending time with Yuri was rewarding enough for her.

They walked up to the entrance of the inner palace, took photos of each other, and crossed several dusty yards, always following signs directing the way, until they reached the main palace. The whole place was crowded with Chinese tourist groups, taking turns in posing in front of the palace building and operating the cameras. Hidden under the shadows of the red wooden walls that encircled each yard tour guides would provide information about the whole palace and Korean History to tourists who looked too exhausted to pay attention. Everyone was just hunting for a cool place in the shadow and something to drink. Even Yuri. On that day the sun was mercilessly beating down, torturing everyone with its most intense sunrays.

After leaving the main palace and passing several accommodations built for the royal family they eventually stopped at a small coffee shop. Taeyeon immediately went inside and ordered beverage for her and Yuri, an iced latte for her and an iced green tea for Yuri, but after paying she noticed that Yuri was no longer around. Confused, she rushed out again but Yuri was gone.

Perhaps she went looking for a shadowy spot somewhere, Taeyeon thought and looked around some more. However she couldn’t find her. She went around the coffee shop, checked the rest rooms but there was no sign of her.

All of a sudden she thought she caught a brief flash of her pony tail, disappearing behind a narrow stone wall. Taeyeon spurted in this direction a bit ungainly with two melting ice beverages in her hands.

“Yuri! That’s not funny!” She yelled, hoping to find her but even after she passed the stone wall and ended up in a backyard of a royal residence Yuri wasn’t there.

“Yuri!” She called out in every direction. “Where are you? I got you something to drink! Yuri?” No one answered. Taeyeon went on and inspected the wide backyard but she seemed to be the only one in this area.

“Yuri!” She exclaimed again without receiving an answer. The whole place didn’t look like it had been prepared to be visited. The usual signs were missing and the stone pavement underneath her feat was crooked and covered in a thick layer of dust.

Annoyed, Taeyeon sat down on the edge of a well and sipped on her latte while she felt the sweat running down her back and between her s. She was almost disgusted by her own body’s reaction but there was nothing she could do about it.

“Tae!” Someone suddenly whispered behind her back. “Find me!” Taeyeon jerked around but there was nothing but the empty interior of the residence.

That was her voice; Taeyeon instantly thought and got on her feet. She’s here! Inside the residence!

She checked her vicinity again before she slowly climbed inside, carefully not to disturb the silence. It’s forbidden to go inside any building for the wood is too fragile to carry the weight of an endless stream of visitors. So she was extra careful not to be seen by anyone.

Quietly she whispered Yuri’s name as she passed one empty room after the other. All of a sudden she heard a giggling “Thank you for the tea, Taeyeon.” She turned around and lips slightly brushing against each other she crashed against Yuri.

Taken aback by the sudden closeness Taeyeon stepped back, excitement rushing through her veins. Yuri only snatched the ice tea out of Taeyeon’s grip, obviously amused. “I said, thanks for the tea.” She motioned to go but turned to Taeyeon once more. “It’s forbidden to go inside a residence.” She emphasized with a fake seriousness and stepped out of the residence. “I thought, you knew.”

Her mobile phone is ringing. Taeyeon put the notebook back on top of her beside cabinet and answered the call. It’s Oppa.

“Taeyeon? Luhan told me you have been unwell today?” He sounds concerned, even worried.

“I’d been just feeling a little dizzy. I’m feeling much better now but unfortunately I couldn’t go to the wedding dresser. I will do it tomorrow.” Taeyeon answers, feeling a flutter of excitement still lingering inside her, which has nothing to with the impending wedding.

Oppa tells her to take a bath, to rest, order a healthy meal and he would be home earlier tonight to look after her. They could watch a movie together or look through the wedding dress catalogue.

The call ends and Taeyeon sinks back into her pillow. Oppa is so kind, she thinks bitterly, but I can’t love him. My heart belongs to another woman. She lifts her cover up to her chest anew and soon drifts off into a short dreamless sleep, bridging the time until Oppa would come home again.